Ash Mathew

Hello members,

We have all come across various theories on Body Language - but here is one that I have never been able to interpret - whether its boredom or if its - mere thinking process!

There is a consultant I am currently working with on an assignment - related to re-structuring. We share a lot of ideas, there is some amount of acceptance, disagreement, appreciation - let me put it this way - to me it appears I am helping the consultant to also move and think the right direction and on the other side he is also teaching me about handling / managing people. He is a very important contact of by boss.

Now - everytime I talk to him (or anybody) I keep track of body language and change of gestures to get a cue (as I mentioned we are involved in huge brain storming sessions).

There is this one thing I am NOT able to understand what it means...

While in the depth of conversation - he suddlenly moves his hands on his face and somehow all his fingers across his head / face and sees me through one eye and talks. I have observed that this happens when we both (its usually him) comes with his so called creative (but wierd) ideas)

So this is the position: Covering one side of a face with one hand and the other across his head in such a way that he sees me through his two fingers.

Could you please tell me what this means? Oneof my senior boss told me that this gesture could also mean "he does not want to see what he is thinking" or "he is just listening to me to make me feel okay, but actually thinks whatever I suggested is not of that great use"

Please help me with this! I am curious with this gesture - I mean, never come across this one!


From India, Madras
Ash Mathew

To add to the above - recently noticed that this his eye contact is also not constant - like when I keep looking at him continuosly he moves his eyes , looks around and then looks back to my eyes
The reason this worries me a lot is - since he is my boss's close contact - and end of the day I dont want him to feel "this girl has wasted my time". :-( please help.
or may be he is just feeling at his ease? because he also put his hands above his head and rests his head on both his palms.
End of the day I dont want to look like a fool who is trying to talk to a wall!

From India, Madras
Dinesh Divekar

Dear Asha,
You are a great savant. You often have given great replies too. I am little surprised that a person of your stature should raise query on body language.
"I am not interested in the colour of the cat as long as it is able to catch the mice" said Mao Tse Tung.
Likewise you should not be interested in the body language of the consultant as long as you are able derive results from your association with him.
At times body language is a fad too. What body language was branded as negative now a days, you will find it many photographs of the freedom fighters as well.
Dinesh V Divekar

From India, Bangalore
Kuljit Pal Singh

Dear Friend,
Body Language is not conclusive proof to read the mind of the person, The result differs from the person to person, looking at u with one eye is may be concentrating on your words and avoid the distractions, there are many such like things we can infer.
What i suggest is keep your confidence high while dealing with this guy, the result will definitely be positive. Try to avoid negative things like u r wasting his time... nah.. u r actually specially appointed to deal with him..
Hope i conveyed my message..

From India, Vadodara
Ash Mathew

Dear Dinesh,
Thanks a lot - you are right, I should not be bothered abou what the body language means until I get the work dervived.
- the problem is I dont know if he is even understanding what I am trying to communicate. Since he is not technically appointed, there are no specific indicators that his job is complete or not (like I mentioned he is just a good friend of my boss)...
However - I got your point, maybe I should start looking at the big picture
@ Kuljit - thanks for sharing your views, I am able to understand what I should stop thinking and start doing :-)

From India, Madras
Ash Mathew

Thanks Ravi :-)
but - I dont keep looking at him constantly, I am just searching for answers from him...
I dontt hink he is ashamed of anything.
PS: I have never seen girls covering their faces and peeking through their fingers to look at someone when they are shy!
Now when I thought why I would do it - ... naaaaa I am not bothered now, Dinesh & Kuljit have convinced me enough to be bothered about things that matter.

From India, Madras
Krishna 01

Dear Madam,
Even I have gone through Body language.. I feel that :-
1. people try to see your Body language reflects... :-
2. they think on any topic
3. They may be confused
4. Trying to recall on some issues, very hard

From India, Mumbai
Ash Mathew

Yes the second picture is what he does - he does not laugh, but a very slight smile is there. I mean no teeth showing all - he looks sometime seriously through those eyes.
From India, Madras
Ash Mathew

Please!!!! why on earth would he be shy while discussing something so serious!
And moreover that is a shy girl..he is a MAN (a father of two kids)! Why would he be shy - I mean he treats me like a kid!!
Moreove he does not just stare or look while doing that but he talks...
I now understand, maybe he is not sure of what he talks can be accepted as a conventional idea - because he comes with the most wierd (interesting though) thoughts... he might think if that is something whether the employees will agree and accept - or whther the customers may prefer
Another thing - he ignores me a lot! And he is the Managing Director of another company - why on earth would be shy at me!
(@ Dinesh and Kuljit - I know that I am deviating from what I promised, but seriously - I will stop thinking abt the body language and look into the subject)
Thanks Ravi - I now understood what he meant :-) okay..he might be shy of his thoughts / ideas

From India, Madras

I was having hard time visualizing the gesture, but looking at the pictures, I think I get it.
And come to think of it, although VERY rarely, I have done that (the second picture with no teeth showing, serious look, faint smile etc.), and actually sort of pressing my face with my palms. I have also seen a few do that (again very rarely).
What it usually meant was - "I am thinking really hard about this, I am trying to visualize in my mind what I am trying to say, and I am trying to articulate what I am seeing in my mind". (i.e., I am thinking really hard, visualizing, building a picture, trying to convert that visual picture that only I can see, into words and communicate that to you to make sure you see it as well - all at the same time. And oh. I am also wondering if you are thinking that I am talking nonsense). So, you see? That's a whole lot :-).
But then, as Sigmund Freud said, "sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar!" :-)
-Som G

From United States, Woodinville
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