Real life lessons 1 – Spot the ALLY in your audience
Truth is stranger than fiction. We come across so many interesting sessions during training. I have given below one such episode. Please add your views.
A few days ago, I was waiting in the departure lounge at Bombay Airport after completing a hectic training session. As I was watching TV news, I heard someone say, "Excuse me, Sir, so nice to see you."
I turned back, and it took a while for me to recognize she was one of the old students from the Soft Skills class batch of 2016. "Hey Neha, what a pleasant surprise. What do you do nowadays?"
"I am just returning after finishing a training session."
"So nice. How did the session go?"
"Mostly OK but for one incident. The topic was on communication skill enhancement, and I was somewhat stuck in a conversation. The task was to choose the most appropriate answer to the question that was asked.
Where are you from?
(a) I am from Borivalli
(b) Basically, I am from Borivalli
(c) Actually, I am from Borivalli
(d) Naturally, I am from Borivalli
I told them that the most appropriate answer is (a). One participant did not agree and started saying that all the other three are also appropriate. I said (a) is appropriate. He started arguing that it was his style of speaking and said it is similar to sentences beginning with YOU KNOW, WELL, HUM, etc. The dialogue between the two of us was getting extended."
"Did not anyone intervene?" I asked.
"Yes, one person said that he could explain why (a) is appropriate. Seeing that, some others also put up their hands."
I asked Neha what her observation was about the person who intervened. She paused and said, "He was an 'Assertive' person as I had watched him during other interactions." I asked her to describe the behavior of the person who intervened. She said "Aggressive" without doubt.
"How did the session go thereafter?" I asked.
I said, "We can discuss this later," and proceeded with the session. "Were you running short of time?" I asked. She said time was not a constraint at that juncture.
I said, "You missed an opportunity to spot an ALLY." She raised her eyebrows interrogatively.
I said, "You are well aware that in a training session, all kinds of people are present who exhibit different behavioral styles like Aggressive, Passive, Assertive, Neutral... Whenever you become involved and tend to get into a long dialogue, stop and change your method. You can find a friend, a tough person like the one you have mentioned now, and also many quiet types with a CAT ON THE WALL philosophy. You are not alone in a training session. Find friends who will support your ideas (of course, on the merit of the issue). Generally, with a reasonable connection, you can do it even within half an hour, by which time you should make most of the people interact at least once.
When two of you were exchanging ideas, no one had intervened. You know for sure that the Aggressor was not only inappropriate but was also trying to prolong unnecessarily. His intention of playing a hero is not well-founded. However, since you had the time, you could have let the Assertive person get into the dialogue. Perhaps others also would have given you more support. In all probability, the Aggressive would still tend to prolong. Appreciate that it was a healthy discussion, mentioning that it could be continued after the training hours, and proceed further. So, from the stance of a lawyer, you have gone back to the role of trainer (or judge in this case, if you like) and made a point. Remember that you can always call the final shot to stop a discussion on the basis of a paucity of time at any time.
Now it is time for me to leave to board my flight. It has been a good case study for me to share, and we hope to meet again."
Regards, V.Raghunathan
Chennai
From India
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1335Truth is stranger than fiction. We come across so many interesting sessions during training. I have given below one such episode. Please add your views.
A few days ago, I was waiting in the departure lounge at Bombay Airport after completing a hectic training session. As I was watching TV news, I heard someone say, "Excuse me, Sir, so nice to see you."
I turned back, and it took a while for me to recognize she was one of the old students from the Soft Skills class batch of 2016. "Hey Neha, what a pleasant surprise. What do you do nowadays?"
"I am just returning after finishing a training session."
"So nice. How did the session go?"
"Mostly OK but for one incident. The topic was on communication skill enhancement, and I was somewhat stuck in a conversation. The task was to choose the most appropriate answer to the question that was asked.
Where are you from?
(a) I am from Borivalli
(b) Basically, I am from Borivalli
(c) Actually, I am from Borivalli
(d) Naturally, I am from Borivalli
I told them that the most appropriate answer is (a). One participant did not agree and started saying that all the other three are also appropriate. I said (a) is appropriate. He started arguing that it was his style of speaking and said it is similar to sentences beginning with YOU KNOW, WELL, HUM, etc. The dialogue between the two of us was getting extended."
"Did not anyone intervene?" I asked.
"Yes, one person said that he could explain why (a) is appropriate. Seeing that, some others also put up their hands."
I asked Neha what her observation was about the person who intervened. She paused and said, "He was an 'Assertive' person as I had watched him during other interactions." I asked her to describe the behavior of the person who intervened. She said "Aggressive" without doubt.
"How did the session go thereafter?" I asked.
I said, "We can discuss this later," and proceeded with the session. "Were you running short of time?" I asked. She said time was not a constraint at that juncture.
I said, "You missed an opportunity to spot an ALLY." She raised her eyebrows interrogatively.
I said, "You are well aware that in a training session, all kinds of people are present who exhibit different behavioral styles like Aggressive, Passive, Assertive, Neutral... Whenever you become involved and tend to get into a long dialogue, stop and change your method. You can find a friend, a tough person like the one you have mentioned now, and also many quiet types with a CAT ON THE WALL philosophy. You are not alone in a training session. Find friends who will support your ideas (of course, on the merit of the issue). Generally, with a reasonable connection, you can do it even within half an hour, by which time you should make most of the people interact at least once.
When two of you were exchanging ideas, no one had intervened. You know for sure that the Aggressor was not only inappropriate but was also trying to prolong unnecessarily. His intention of playing a hero is not well-founded. However, since you had the time, you could have let the Assertive person get into the dialogue. Perhaps others also would have given you more support. In all probability, the Aggressive would still tend to prolong. Appreciate that it was a healthy discussion, mentioning that it could be continued after the training hours, and proceed further. So, from the stance of a lawyer, you have gone back to the role of trainer (or judge in this case, if you like) and made a point. Remember that you can always call the final shot to stop a discussion on the basis of a paucity of time at any time.
Now it is time for me to leave to board my flight. It has been a good case study for me to share, and we hope to meet again."
Regards, V.Raghunathan
Chennai
From India
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A very interesting anecdote, Mr. Raghunathan!
The Role of a Public Speaker in Interactive Sessions
As a public speaker, one must spontaneously engage the audience right from the beginning of the session, especially during interactive sessions, regardless of the subject matter. When the trainer poses a question with multiple-choice answers and immediately selects one as the most appropriate, some self-opinionated individuals might miss the context and start arguing by inserting their usual responses, which were previously unquestioned.
Encouraging Collective Thought Process
Instead, if the trainer explains the relative merits and demerits of the answers and then asks the audience collectively to select their choice, their thought process would naturally become collective, avoiding any one-on-one situations. In my opinion, this is the best way to identify allies in any interactive session.
From India, Salem
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The Role of a Public Speaker in Interactive Sessions
As a public speaker, one must spontaneously engage the audience right from the beginning of the session, especially during interactive sessions, regardless of the subject matter. When the trainer poses a question with multiple-choice answers and immediately selects one as the most appropriate, some self-opinionated individuals might miss the context and start arguing by inserting their usual responses, which were previously unquestioned.
Encouraging Collective Thought Process
Instead, if the trainer explains the relative merits and demerits of the answers and then asks the audience collectively to select their choice, their thought process would naturally become collective, avoiding any one-on-one situations. In my opinion, this is the best way to identify allies in any interactive session.
From India, Salem
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Dear Sri Umakanthan, it is a very good observation and a valuable input for the readers from your side. I did not check with her whether she gave the answer instantaneously or after a small interaction with the audience. You hit the nail on the head when speaking about the importance of the speaker/trainer taking the audience with him as soon as possible. While it is not uncommon to find attention-seeking heroes, your suggestion will give less chance for such persons. Thank you for your valuable inputs, and I hope the readers will take note of your points.
Regards, V. Raghunathan
From India
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Regards, V. Raghunathan
From India
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Handling Hecklers in Public Speaking
This anecdote is very interesting. There will always be someone in the audience who wants to draw attention to themselves, showcasing their knowledge (and sometimes exposing their lack thereof) and their own theories. The speaker's judgment of who in the audience is favorable makes a significant difference. Often, speakers need to distinguish between a heckler and a person asking a difficult question.
Occasionally, I encounter hecklers while speaking. I generally allow them to speak without interrupting and then continue from where I was interrupted, ignoring the interruption the first time. I just smile and tell them we will address their valid question at the end of the speech. On rare occasions when I have to respond, I address the whole audience by saying, "Mr. X has this question or concern," and try to involve the audience in the reply, even trying to get a member to respond. Hecklers need to be tackled psychologically and rationally, never in an emotional manner. Through experience, you learn to judge the whole audience—are they with you, bored, or hostile, etc. Public speaking is an art of conveying the message in a way that ensures it gets through.
From India, Pune
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This anecdote is very interesting. There will always be someone in the audience who wants to draw attention to themselves, showcasing their knowledge (and sometimes exposing their lack thereof) and their own theories. The speaker's judgment of who in the audience is favorable makes a significant difference. Often, speakers need to distinguish between a heckler and a person asking a difficult question.
Occasionally, I encounter hecklers while speaking. I generally allow them to speak without interrupting and then continue from where I was interrupted, ignoring the interruption the first time. I just smile and tell them we will address their valid question at the end of the speech. On rare occasions when I have to respond, I address the whole audience by saying, "Mr. X has this question or concern," and try to involve the audience in the reply, even trying to get a member to respond. Hecklers need to be tackled psychologically and rationally, never in an emotional manner. Through experience, you learn to judge the whole audience—are they with you, bored, or hostile, etc. Public speaking is an art of conveying the message in a way that ensures it gets through.
From India, Pune
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Dear Mr. Nath Rao,
Good to see your views in this thread. Throwing the question to the audience is another effective way of handling. The rational approach suggested by you is very important as opposed to an emotional one. Keeping cool does make matters easy to handle.
Thanks for your suggestions.
V. Raghunathan
Chennai
From India
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Good to see your views in this thread. Throwing the question to the audience is another effective way of handling. The rational approach suggested by you is very important as opposed to an emotional one. Keeping cool does make matters easy to handle.
Thanks for your suggestions.
V. Raghunathan
Chennai
From India
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Understanding Audience Dynamics in Training Sessions
In training sessions, allies, non-allies, or a group in between come to hone their skills—whatever the subject, whatever the professional or social makeup of the audience may be. By trying to focus on the different personality types individually and responding to them, your training session will be stalled. Since option (a) was the most appropriate, there should have been no debate. However, rationalize towards the appropriateness or inappropriateness of the other options. It's not a question of 'giving in' or feeding 'one's ego' but bringing the audience on board. If, as trainers, our communication style is charismatic—certainly we need to be adept in the subject—then such 'issues' wouldn't arise. There may be some die-hards among the audience, but with spontaneous smiles and sympathy coming from you, it does the trick.
Remember, the trainees are great people, and oftentimes certain non-verbal cues string the violin.
Smile,
Arif ur Rehman
From Pakistan, Karachi
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In training sessions, allies, non-allies, or a group in between come to hone their skills—whatever the subject, whatever the professional or social makeup of the audience may be. By trying to focus on the different personality types individually and responding to them, your training session will be stalled. Since option (a) was the most appropriate, there should have been no debate. However, rationalize towards the appropriateness or inappropriateness of the other options. It's not a question of 'giving in' or feeding 'one's ego' but bringing the audience on board. If, as trainers, our communication style is charismatic—certainly we need to be adept in the subject—then such 'issues' wouldn't arise. There may be some die-hards among the audience, but with spontaneous smiles and sympathy coming from you, it does the trick.
Remember, the trainees are great people, and oftentimes certain non-verbal cues string the violin.
Smile,
Arif ur Rehman
From Pakistan, Karachi
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Dear Mr. Arif Ur Rehman, it is very good to receive your opinion; with all the four decades of experience you have, contributed your views from the audience perspective. It gels well and adds to the other thoughts presented.
Taking the audience with you
Taking the audience with you is a must. It is a simultaneous activity as the session moves on, so there is no time lost on this account. Charisma is something developed over the years, and reputation spreading around aids that. However, a budding trainer, like the one in our case, has to go through a tough path, and every experience adds to the stature to become a seasoned trainer.
Handling challenges during training sessions
As I look back, in more than four decades that have passed in the industry and corporate offices, people playing the 'devil's advocate' always exist. We have to find a tactful way of getting the better of them. All said and done, the irrefutable maxim is that THE TRAINER SHOULD BE IN CONTROL OF THE SESSION AT ALL TIMES. While we all learn from all age groups, letting the session drift away is undesirable.
Managing different personalities
Going further, the trainer has challenges to spot the silent, handle the talkative, get the digression personality back on track, and so forth. The learning curve is a continuous one.
Thanks for sharing your views for the benefit of all readers.
V. Raghunathan
Chennai
From India
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Taking the audience with you
Taking the audience with you is a must. It is a simultaneous activity as the session moves on, so there is no time lost on this account. Charisma is something developed over the years, and reputation spreading around aids that. However, a budding trainer, like the one in our case, has to go through a tough path, and every experience adds to the stature to become a seasoned trainer.
Handling challenges during training sessions
As I look back, in more than four decades that have passed in the industry and corporate offices, people playing the 'devil's advocate' always exist. We have to find a tactful way of getting the better of them. All said and done, the irrefutable maxim is that THE TRAINER SHOULD BE IN CONTROL OF THE SESSION AT ALL TIMES. While we all learn from all age groups, letting the session drift away is undesirable.
Managing different personalities
Going further, the trainer has challenges to spot the silent, handle the talkative, get the digression personality back on track, and so forth. The learning curve is a continuous one.
Thanks for sharing your views for the benefit of all readers.
V. Raghunathan
Chennai
From India
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