Criticism
My Weakness
I was contemplating to find out my weaknesses which disturb my mind. A lot of things came into my mind like anger, willpower, decision-making, etc., but to my utter surprise, I could identify two of the weaknesses after working on myself a lot. I am not overruling that anger; emotions do not overpower me on certain occasions. But the weakness, which I placed at the top after continued self-study, is 'I cannot bear criticism.' It is said that criticism is our great Guru, which teaches us a lot, but in my case, while hearing criticism, I get irritated inside or become defensive, making it difficult to understand the finer points on which I need to work for peace, good relationships, man-management, and success.
I observed a number of times that everything is okay, I am happy, and all of a sudden, a small criticism of the words I have spoken or the action taken negatively affects my energy and focus. Though it is known not to bother with criticism, yet it affects me and my style of working. It seems that criticism hijacks my thoughts.
How did this become my weakness? When I look into the past, I find that while growing up in Chheharta, being the elder child in the family, and maybe for other reasons, I was told by my parents and others through actions and words that I am intelligent and my words are right. This was perhaps because I continued pursuing my studies and remained in the good books. Secondly, when I came to Patiala to join the bank and got married, I also enjoyed the same status. Mostly, my words were/are valued in the family. A similar position remained in my office. I used to put up papers before the management after studying all pros and cons, supporting all my submissions with data or court rulings which were easily available on the net. And papers put up with supporting data and rulings never attracted criticism.
Right from the beginning, I believed that people are lethargic, and if I am a bit less lethargic than them, it will do. Secondly, I believed that people do not make a schedule for the next day, and therefore, their minds remain stuck in past things throughout the night in dreams or so on. But if a schedule for the next day is prepared, your mind consciously or unconsciously works on the next day's assignments during the night, making the mind peaceful and prepared and helping in realizing the people that you mean.
Mostly, insecurity among colleagues makes them criticize your actions. Jealousy also makes people criticize. Why criticism? I find that beggars on the road or failed persons are not criticized. Only those are criticized who matter, who are leaders/managers. Perhaps others criticize such people to satisfy themselves for not being able to reach there. If you are a leader/manager, you are supposed to take tough decisions on occasions to get the best results, and of course, these will attract criticism. Just awareness of this fact lessens the negative effects of criticism, and I started learning to avoid such criticism. This attitude made me write a good CR for the person who used to criticize me but was a good worker. This action of mine, in turn, made him a staunch supporter of mine, and I was able to put the bank on HRMS well in time, for which I got appreciation.
Criticizers start noticing the negatives only, resulting in criticism. Such persons may not be wrong all the time. Therefore, this idea made me think differently if I am facing criticism. Right at the beginning, when someone is criticizing, I try to make notes in my mind of the points raised and the action points needed. Thus, this attitude completely makes me a learner, and my brain does not touch the negative effects. Secondly, this makes me think about what is wrong. If it is the insecurity among the criticizers, then what should I do so that the other person desists from criticism in the future and does not harm my image?
It is clear that I am not a perfect person, so there will be criticism on occasions for better reasons, and at that time, so that my ego is not hurt, I think of myself as a child and start considering the criticism for my improvement.
From Swaziland, Manzini
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3My Weakness
I was contemplating to find out my weaknesses which disturb my mind. A lot of things came into my mind like anger, willpower, decision-making, etc., but to my utter surprise, I could identify two of the weaknesses after working on myself a lot. I am not overruling that anger; emotions do not overpower me on certain occasions. But the weakness, which I placed at the top after continued self-study, is 'I cannot bear criticism.' It is said that criticism is our great Guru, which teaches us a lot, but in my case, while hearing criticism, I get irritated inside or become defensive, making it difficult to understand the finer points on which I need to work for peace, good relationships, man-management, and success.
I observed a number of times that everything is okay, I am happy, and all of a sudden, a small criticism of the words I have spoken or the action taken negatively affects my energy and focus. Though it is known not to bother with criticism, yet it affects me and my style of working. It seems that criticism hijacks my thoughts.
How did this become my weakness? When I look into the past, I find that while growing up in Chheharta, being the elder child in the family, and maybe for other reasons, I was told by my parents and others through actions and words that I am intelligent and my words are right. This was perhaps because I continued pursuing my studies and remained in the good books. Secondly, when I came to Patiala to join the bank and got married, I also enjoyed the same status. Mostly, my words were/are valued in the family. A similar position remained in my office. I used to put up papers before the management after studying all pros and cons, supporting all my submissions with data or court rulings which were easily available on the net. And papers put up with supporting data and rulings never attracted criticism.
Right from the beginning, I believed that people are lethargic, and if I am a bit less lethargic than them, it will do. Secondly, I believed that people do not make a schedule for the next day, and therefore, their minds remain stuck in past things throughout the night in dreams or so on. But if a schedule for the next day is prepared, your mind consciously or unconsciously works on the next day's assignments during the night, making the mind peaceful and prepared and helping in realizing the people that you mean.
Mostly, insecurity among colleagues makes them criticize your actions. Jealousy also makes people criticize. Why criticism? I find that beggars on the road or failed persons are not criticized. Only those are criticized who matter, who are leaders/managers. Perhaps others criticize such people to satisfy themselves for not being able to reach there. If you are a leader/manager, you are supposed to take tough decisions on occasions to get the best results, and of course, these will attract criticism. Just awareness of this fact lessens the negative effects of criticism, and I started learning to avoid such criticism. This attitude made me write a good CR for the person who used to criticize me but was a good worker. This action of mine, in turn, made him a staunch supporter of mine, and I was able to put the bank on HRMS well in time, for which I got appreciation.
Criticizers start noticing the negatives only, resulting in criticism. Such persons may not be wrong all the time. Therefore, this idea made me think differently if I am facing criticism. Right at the beginning, when someone is criticizing, I try to make notes in my mind of the points raised and the action points needed. Thus, this attitude completely makes me a learner, and my brain does not touch the negative effects. Secondly, this makes me think about what is wrong. If it is the insecurity among the criticizers, then what should I do so that the other person desists from criticism in the future and does not harm my image?
It is clear that I am not a perfect person, so there will be criticism on occasions for better reasons, and at that time, so that my ego is not hurt, I think of myself as a child and start considering the criticism for my improvement.
From Swaziland, Manzini
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Criticism can be a valuable tool for personal and professional growth. To overcome the weakness of not being able to bear criticism, consider the following steps:
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on why criticism affects you. Understanding the root cause can help you address it effectively.
2. Mindful Listening: When receiving criticism, practice active listening. Focus on understanding the feedback rather than immediately reacting defensively.
3. Separate Emotions: Try to separate your emotions from the criticism. View it as an opportunity for improvement rather than a personal attack.
4. Seek Clarification: If the criticism is unclear, don't hesitate to ask for specific examples or suggestions for improvement.
5. Learn and Adapt: Use criticism as a learning opportunity. Identify areas where you can grow and adapt your behavior accordingly.
6. Feedback Loop: Establish a feedback loop with colleagues or mentors to receive regular constructive criticism and track your progress in addressing your weakness.
7. Professional Development: Consider attending workshops or training sessions focused on receiving and utilizing feedback effectively.
By embracing criticism as a tool for growth and improvement, you can transform this weakness into a strength and enhance your personal and professional development.
From India, Gurugram
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1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on why criticism affects you. Understanding the root cause can help you address it effectively.
2. Mindful Listening: When receiving criticism, practice active listening. Focus on understanding the feedback rather than immediately reacting defensively.
3. Separate Emotions: Try to separate your emotions from the criticism. View it as an opportunity for improvement rather than a personal attack.
4. Seek Clarification: If the criticism is unclear, don't hesitate to ask for specific examples or suggestions for improvement.
5. Learn and Adapt: Use criticism as a learning opportunity. Identify areas where you can grow and adapt your behavior accordingly.
6. Feedback Loop: Establish a feedback loop with colleagues or mentors to receive regular constructive criticism and track your progress in addressing your weakness.
7. Professional Development: Consider attending workshops or training sessions focused on receiving and utilizing feedback effectively.
By embracing criticism as a tool for growth and improvement, you can transform this weakness into a strength and enhance your personal and professional development.
From India, Gurugram
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