Hi Friends,
I am in a serious problem. Really need your suggestion. I have joined an MNC as an Asst Manager-HR. My problem is my boss. He is very rude, and I have never come across a personality like this before. In my last company, I was involved in multiple tasks and was a very efficient employee. In fact, they did not release me, and I only got my resignation approved after one month.
Here in this new company, it's been 2 months now, but my boss is really a tough personality. He is rude to the entire staff. Everybody is upset, but what can we do? Even if we all work fine, he never acknowledges it; instead, he criticizes us, and that too in front of everybody. I don't feel like talking to him and generally avoid him. I do all the communication with him through emails only. The entire office here engages in gossiping about him. He is an NRI, and as per the company rule, he spends 15 days in Singapore and 15 days in India. It seems like he prefers Singapore culture but not the same for India. He keeps scolding everybody, even on trivial matters. He is very impatient as well.
I really don't know how to tackle the situation. Aside from him, the entire staff is very good. Should I look for another option, or should I stick to this company and gain experience in handling difficult people? I have the option of changing jobs at the moment, but would that be a practical decision?
Please advise and help me.
Thanks,
Shweta Jaitly
From India, Coimbatore
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15I am in a serious problem. Really need your suggestion. I have joined an MNC as an Asst Manager-HR. My problem is my boss. He is very rude, and I have never come across a personality like this before. In my last company, I was involved in multiple tasks and was a very efficient employee. In fact, they did not release me, and I only got my resignation approved after one month.
Here in this new company, it's been 2 months now, but my boss is really a tough personality. He is rude to the entire staff. Everybody is upset, but what can we do? Even if we all work fine, he never acknowledges it; instead, he criticizes us, and that too in front of everybody. I don't feel like talking to him and generally avoid him. I do all the communication with him through emails only. The entire office here engages in gossiping about him. He is an NRI, and as per the company rule, he spends 15 days in Singapore and 15 days in India. It seems like he prefers Singapore culture but not the same for India. He keeps scolding everybody, even on trivial matters. He is very impatient as well.
I really don't know how to tackle the situation. Aside from him, the entire staff is very good. Should I look for another option, or should I stick to this company and gain experience in handling difficult people? I have the option of changing jobs at the moment, but would that be a practical decision?
Please advise and help me.
Thanks,
Shweta Jaitly
From India, Coimbatore
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Hi Shweta,
In my view, job hopping should be the last option. Even if you move on, you can get the same type of boss or even worse, a boss who is very sweet but doesn't take things professionally. I think you have a great opportunity to learn to deal with difficult people. So, I would suggest you stay, focus on work, and keep observing your boss to see what frustrates him and what kind of behavior keeps him calm. That way, you will find a way to deal with him and also to get your work done without too much of a problem.
Thanks and Regards,
Siva
From India, Mumbai
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In my view, job hopping should be the last option. Even if you move on, you can get the same type of boss or even worse, a boss who is very sweet but doesn't take things professionally. I think you have a great opportunity to learn to deal with difficult people. So, I would suggest you stay, focus on work, and keep observing your boss to see what frustrates him and what kind of behavior keeps him calm. That way, you will find a way to deal with him and also to get your work done without too much of a problem.
Thanks and Regards,
Siva
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Shweta,
You should continue working at the same place and learn how to manage difficult people.
You can take your co-workers into confidence, including seniors, and prepare action plans to tackle him.
A positive and collective effort by all in the organization will change him.
Regards,
Mahesh K Prasad
From India, Mumbai
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You should continue working at the same place and learn how to manage difficult people.
You can take your co-workers into confidence, including seniors, and prepare action plans to tackle him.
A positive and collective effort by all in the organization will change him.
Regards,
Mahesh K Prasad
From India, Mumbai
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In my opinion, you should stay there. You will learn a lot from this kind of situation (My personal experience says so). Sometimes you will feel you should look around for another opportunity, but try to give some time to this job also. Be calm and patient and concentrate on what you are doing. It will help you understand how to deal with difficult people and how to manage a difficult boss.
Regards,
J
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Regards,
J
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Hi Shweta , Here is an attachment regarding Are you the victim of a bad boss? This was posted on this site few months before. Hope it helps you. Regards mahesh k prasad
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hi Shewtha,
Whenever an employee goes through a change, it is a gamble for both the employee and the employer. I believe, as an HR professional, you are well aware of this. So, why are you worried? Perhaps it is just a temporary phase, and your boss wants you to be more productive than your current output level.
A few suggestions: continue to observe his feedback, whether in terms of queries, advice, etc. Analyze these inputs, and if they are theoretical in nature, clarify those aspects. This way, you can benefit by gaining knowledge and developing the skills to handle challenging situations, which will be an invaluable asset for your future.
Lastly, remember that such situations happen to everyone, so there is no need to worry at all.
From India, Delhi
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Whenever an employee goes through a change, it is a gamble for both the employee and the employer. I believe, as an HR professional, you are well aware of this. So, why are you worried? Perhaps it is just a temporary phase, and your boss wants you to be more productive than your current output level.
A few suggestions: continue to observe his feedback, whether in terms of queries, advice, etc. Analyze these inputs, and if they are theoretical in nature, clarify those aspects. This way, you can benefit by gaining knowledge and developing the skills to handle challenging situations, which will be an invaluable asset for your future.
Lastly, remember that such situations happen to everyone, so there is no need to worry at all.
From India, Delhi
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Thanks to all for your replies. I guess you all have stated it correctly. Instead of quitting, I should start dealing with it. I also think it can be the best HR practical experience.
Honestly, if I say, I have never come across such a personality. That's why I was not comfortable. But I guess this situation is not that tough to handle.
Rgds
Shweta
From India, Coimbatore
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Honestly, if I say, I have never come across such a personality. That's why I was not comfortable. But I guess this situation is not that tough to handle.
Rgds
Shweta
From India, Coimbatore
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Yes, you should keep your spirit always on a high note. There is a famous quote from Swami Vivekananda. It says, "IN A DAY WHEN YOU DON'T COME ACROSS ANY PROBLEMS - YOU CAN BE SURE THAT YOU ARE TRAVELING IN A WRONG PATH."
So, gear up your tempo and start working with new energy.
Thanks to all for your replies, as I guess you all have stated it correctly. Instead of quitting, I should start dealing with it, and I guess it can be the best HR practical experience.
Honestly, if I say, I have never come across such a personality. That's why I was not comfortable, but I guess this situation is not that tough to handle.
Regards,
Shweta
From India, Delhi
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So, gear up your tempo and start working with new energy.
Thanks to all for your replies, as I guess you all have stated it correctly. Instead of quitting, I should start dealing with it, and I guess it can be the best HR practical experience.
Honestly, if I say, I have never come across such a personality. That's why I was not comfortable, but I guess this situation is not that tough to handle.
Regards,
Shweta
From India, Delhi
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might be because he doesnt like the style of working of us indians,and likes working style of office in singapore, hope u all are doing ur job professionaly and with dedication.... regds ravi
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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I don't think there is anything wrong with you or with him. Just for a moment, try to put yourself in his position.
You might think that traveling across the world is a nice thing, but it is not. At that level, you live a dog's life and work around the clock. I don't think there is a need to comment on the Indian style of work or American style of work. Any style of work, if it increases productivity and efficiency, is a good style. He is in a position where he can see the work of Singaporean staff as well as Indian staff. For the Singaporean staff, he is not required to provide all the information and everything in detail; his team understands what he wants, and he is not required to micromanage them. By seeing the trend on CiteHR, I can feel that our people need all possible details to do things. At times, it so happens that in the process of giving details, the manager himself does the work. People do not understand instructions. People do not want to go the extra mile to get things done. These are just a few scenarios that can irritate any manager.
Just the way you did here. Instead of looking within for areas of improvement, you are finding fault with your manager or your boss. Also, note that the work style changes from a small to a mid-sized to a large company. It also changes from being a local company to a national-level company to a multinational multicultural company.
Just see what his expectations are and how you are delivering. I am sure it will help.
I hope this information will be of some use to you.
Thanks and Regards
From India, Mumbai
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You might think that traveling across the world is a nice thing, but it is not. At that level, you live a dog's life and work around the clock. I don't think there is a need to comment on the Indian style of work or American style of work. Any style of work, if it increases productivity and efficiency, is a good style. He is in a position where he can see the work of Singaporean staff as well as Indian staff. For the Singaporean staff, he is not required to provide all the information and everything in detail; his team understands what he wants, and he is not required to micromanage them. By seeing the trend on CiteHR, I can feel that our people need all possible details to do things. At times, it so happens that in the process of giving details, the manager himself does the work. People do not understand instructions. People do not want to go the extra mile to get things done. These are just a few scenarios that can irritate any manager.
Just the way you did here. Instead of looking within for areas of improvement, you are finding fault with your manager or your boss. Also, note that the work style changes from a small to a mid-sized to a large company. It also changes from being a local company to a national-level company to a multinational multicultural company.
Just see what his expectations are and how you are delivering. I am sure it will help.
I hope this information will be of some use to you.
Thanks and Regards
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Shweta,
A real professionally qualified person will always expect quality and 100% professionalism in all official work. Please try to understand what makes your boss irritated. If other staff are also unhappy with him, then it does not mean that he is wrong. First, identify the reason why he becomes rude. If it is your mistake, then you need to make a habit of not doing so. This will improve your chances of getting into a senior position later on. And of course, if scolding and shouting from your NRI boss helps you become an employee like those in the Singapore office, then what is the use of sweet-speaking unprofessional culture that never teaches you professionalism and hinders your ability to be a globally accepted employee.
Moreover, if you really find him rude for no reason, then request to speak with him personally in his cabin and tell him that you are upset with the way he speaks. Finally, if nothing helps, you can quit, but during a reference check, I hope he will give good remarks about you to your new employer. Either change jobs immediately and provide your last company's reference and experience letter where you were comfortable, or stay here and find out how to deal with this unique personality, at least for a year.
My best wishes and good luck to you for your job.
Regards, Priya J.
From India, Hapur
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A real professionally qualified person will always expect quality and 100% professionalism in all official work. Please try to understand what makes your boss irritated. If other staff are also unhappy with him, then it does not mean that he is wrong. First, identify the reason why he becomes rude. If it is your mistake, then you need to make a habit of not doing so. This will improve your chances of getting into a senior position later on. And of course, if scolding and shouting from your NRI boss helps you become an employee like those in the Singapore office, then what is the use of sweet-speaking unprofessional culture that never teaches you professionalism and hinders your ability to be a globally accepted employee.
Moreover, if you really find him rude for no reason, then request to speak with him personally in his cabin and tell him that you are upset with the way he speaks. Finally, if nothing helps, you can quit, but during a reference check, I hope he will give good remarks about you to your new employer. Either change jobs immediately and provide your last company's reference and experience letter where you were comfortable, or stay here and find out how to deal with this unique personality, at least for a year.
My best wishes and good luck to you for your job.
Regards, Priya J.
From India, Hapur
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Hi Shweta,
It was good to see you in such a position. It gives the courage and strength to overcome difficult people and situations. Hang on, observe his actions, and get ready with your action plan. There is much more to learn when you face lots of challenges.
This time it's your boss, maybe even your top official. Think about such situations. There will be many issues with employees as well, but we should have patience. Relax and think. You will find the answers. Let's wait for some time, and there will definitely be some changes. You can emerge as a better person.
From India, Srikakulam
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It was good to see you in such a position. It gives the courage and strength to overcome difficult people and situations. Hang on, observe his actions, and get ready with your action plan. There is much more to learn when you face lots of challenges.
This time it's your boss, maybe even your top official. Think about such situations. There will be many issues with employees as well, but we should have patience. Relax and think. You will find the answers. Let's wait for some time, and there will definitely be some changes. You can emerge as a better person.
From India, Srikakulam
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Hi Shewta,
It is very common in office cultures nowadays because of the hyper-turbulent environment we are experiencing worldwide. One might feel overwhelmed by the environment and cultural diversification, finding it challenging to maintain oneself as a diversifier (for example, spending half a month in India and half in Singapore).
Before organizing any activities, it is essential to understand his preferences. Therefore, assess, observe, and refer to materials like Parsad has provided. Remember, never lose hope!
As an HR professional, this is a common scenario for us, nothing new. Keep up the good work!
Regards,
Hammad Malik
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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It is very common in office cultures nowadays because of the hyper-turbulent environment we are experiencing worldwide. One might feel overwhelmed by the environment and cultural diversification, finding it challenging to maintain oneself as a diversifier (for example, spending half a month in India and half in Singapore).
Before organizing any activities, it is essential to understand his preferences. Therefore, assess, observe, and refer to materials like Parsad has provided. Remember, never lose hope!
As an HR professional, this is a common scenario for us, nothing new. Keep up the good work!
Regards,
Hammad Malik
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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Hey Shweta,
I would also suggest an open discussion with him, maybe outside the office in a polite manner. Pouring out what you have in mind may bring in some relief. Identify what he needs and get him what he needs.
Regards,
Sharath :)
From India, Bangalore
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I would also suggest an open discussion with him, maybe outside the office in a polite manner. Pouring out what you have in mind may bring in some relief. Identify what he needs and get him what he needs.
Regards,
Sharath :)
From India, Bangalore
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Hi Shweta,
I totally agree with my fellow's suggestions. Go ahead, try to understand his mood and attitude. Take this situation as a challenge and learning. It will not harm you, but only grow your experience to tackle difficult people if you take it positively.
Regards,
Uma
From India, Mumbai
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I totally agree with my fellow's suggestions. Go ahead, try to understand his mood and attitude. Take this situation as a challenge and learning. It will not harm you, but only grow your experience to tackle difficult people if you take it positively.
Regards,
Uma
From India, Mumbai
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Dear,
Every company has such atoms. If your boss is very rude and not in a cooperative nature, the best way is tit for tat. Many times it helps a lot, but changing the organization is not a good solution for you. Try to find out a way to handle the person. Even if you have decided to change the organization, submit your resignation and mention the reason for the mental torture by your senior manager, and then see the magic.
Best Regards,
Jayant.
From India, Mumbai
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Every company has such atoms. If your boss is very rude and not in a cooperative nature, the best way is tit for tat. Many times it helps a lot, but changing the organization is not a good solution for you. Try to find out a way to handle the person. Even if you have decided to change the organization, submit your resignation and mention the reason for the mental torture by your senior manager, and then see the magic.
Best Regards,
Jayant.
From India, Mumbai
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I feel that this is a good experience for you to learn from this situation. It is good if you can spend some quality time to understand your boss and his expectations about your work. That should start paving the way to better success. Also, as he is an NRI, there will be a lot of cultural differences. I have seen some NRI who still feel a little less about India as they left the country a long time back with some hard memories. All the best, and let all of us know when some of these suggestions work for you.
Regards,
AKNR
From India, Bangalore
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Regards,
AKNR
From India, Bangalore
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Hi Shweta,
I understand how difficult it is to work for a rude and short-tempered boss. However, there could be various reasons for him to behave like this. I would suggest first trying to understand what irritates him and what alleviates his anger. Bosses are always good at finding mistakes, and that's what they get paid for. However, those who express their views in a polite and decent way are called good bosses, and vice versa. I would suggest you go back and recall each and every situation when his behavior was rude and harsh; there could be some ways to make him act more softly on any of the issues. I came across a manager who believes in shouting at the first instance and then listening to others. We first found out what the reason behind it was, which came out as a shock to us. He had a very tragic childhood where he was deprived of his parents' love and affection; hence, he never understood the language of love. According to me, there are three ways for you to come out of this situation.
1. As explained above, please try to understand your boss's behavior and act accordingly.
2. Express your concerns to him in a polite and professional manner.
3. Prepare the data comprising evidence of his rude behavior and let the higher management know how serious it could be for the employees' stability.
Thanks & Regards,
Mehul
From India
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I understand how difficult it is to work for a rude and short-tempered boss. However, there could be various reasons for him to behave like this. I would suggest first trying to understand what irritates him and what alleviates his anger. Bosses are always good at finding mistakes, and that's what they get paid for. However, those who express their views in a polite and decent way are called good bosses, and vice versa. I would suggest you go back and recall each and every situation when his behavior was rude and harsh; there could be some ways to make him act more softly on any of the issues. I came across a manager who believes in shouting at the first instance and then listening to others. We first found out what the reason behind it was, which came out as a shock to us. He had a very tragic childhood where he was deprived of his parents' love and affection; hence, he never understood the language of love. According to me, there are three ways for you to come out of this situation.
1. As explained above, please try to understand your boss's behavior and act accordingly.
2. Express your concerns to him in a polite and professional manner.
3. Prepare the data comprising evidence of his rude behavior and let the higher management know how serious it could be for the employees' stability.
Thanks & Regards,
Mehul
From India
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Hi Shweta,
I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn't show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you're trying to avoid your boss that's why you're communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven't get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can't argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee's good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
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I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn't show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you're trying to avoid your boss that's why you're communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven't get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can't argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee's good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
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Hi Shweta,
I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn't show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you're trying to avoid your boss that's why you're communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven't get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can't argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee's good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn't show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you're trying to avoid your boss that's why you're communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven't get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can't argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee's good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
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Dear Shweta,
Don't worry, I am also going through the same phase. Maybe my situation is even worse than yours because I have to tackle the senior management group. Everybody is putting their own views, and nobody is really helping. I have taken it as a challenge, and you should also do the same.
Escapists cannot be winners:)
Regards,
Piali
From Oman, Muscat
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Don't worry, I am also going through the same phase. Maybe my situation is even worse than yours because I have to tackle the senior management group. Everybody is putting their own views, and nobody is really helping. I have taken it as a challenge, and you should also do the same.
Escapists cannot be winners:)
Regards,
Piali
From Oman, Muscat
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Dear Shweta,
I am also facing the same situation. You should do your work without any fear. Don't give him a chance to find any mistake or error in your work. Even if he unnecessarily shouts at you, protest and ask about your mistake. If you feel he is right, ask him to show you the correct way.
I am telling you this because if you always listen to your boss, whether it's right or wrong, he/she will always try to insult you and find fault in your work. As an HR professional, you should have the ability to protest. Otherwise, you won't be able to handle people if you always obey others.
Thanks,
Rashmi
From India, Calcutta
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I am also facing the same situation. You should do your work without any fear. Don't give him a chance to find any mistake or error in your work. Even if he unnecessarily shouts at you, protest and ask about your mistake. If you feel he is right, ask him to show you the correct way.
I am telling you this because if you always listen to your boss, whether it's right or wrong, he/she will always try to insult you and find fault in your work. As an HR professional, you should have the ability to protest. Otherwise, you won't be able to handle people if you always obey others.
Thanks,
Rashmi
From India, Calcutta
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Hi,
It will really help the situation if you are around and keep communicating with the boss over email. After you have set a firm base in the department and know more about what is happening, please address it to the right person. In this way, you will not only help yourself but also help others from the same misery.
I had done the same but did it after I resigned from the company; but now that I look back, I don't see this helping the situation because my opinion was not taken seriously.
When you address your grievance, give evidence by examples and emails that you have which indicate bullying behavior by your superior. If you have a bullying redressal policy, that will do the same for you.
Hope this helps and remember everyone has gone through this situation at least once or twice. :) Lucky those who have not! :)
Regards,
Vaishali
From India, Mumbai
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It will really help the situation if you are around and keep communicating with the boss over email. After you have set a firm base in the department and know more about what is happening, please address it to the right person. In this way, you will not only help yourself but also help others from the same misery.
I had done the same but did it after I resigned from the company; but now that I look back, I don't see this helping the situation because my opinion was not taken seriously.
When you address your grievance, give evidence by examples and emails that you have which indicate bullying behavior by your superior. If you have a bullying redressal policy, that will do the same for you.
Hope this helps and remember everyone has gone through this situation at least once or twice. :) Lucky those who have not! :)
Regards,
Vaishali
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Shweta,
I really appreciate your decision to stand your ground and fight your own battle. I'm very positive that not only would you one day gain the respect of this same boss, but you would also bring about a positive change in the thought process of your colleagues. This would be your greatest reward! And only you would know how sweet it tastes when you finally receive it.
Like most people said here, that quitting is the easiest, it's persistence that makes you a winner. I would also like to draw your attention to one important aspect. There are some people with very strong negativities. If you do decide to face your boss, and you very EARNESTLY wish to help him (he has reasons for his behavior and can be calmed to an extent), prepare yourself well. This could be a very difficult task. You would need to be careful that his negative attitude does not affect you, and that you do not take the office package into your domestic space. If you feel that's happening, and you cannot handle it, I would say, don't stretch it too far; he isn't your responsibility.
I too had a temperament. The things that I tried to tune myself down, I am sharing them with you. These have worked on me, and my colleagues/friends/relatives. Hope it helps you too.
- First of all, tell yourself "I *choose* to work with my boss and accept him as my boss."
- "No one can make me feel inferior, without *my consent*."
- I have faith in my mission (to tune down my Boss! :), at least a tad bit).
- When someone is angry, refrain from advising/highlighting mistakes. Bring the topic up at a later time when things are cooler.
- *Respond* rather than React. (Take 5 deep breaths before replying to your boss's demands/questions).
- I use a lot of sentences of agreement when handling adamant/demanding people. E.g., "You are *absolutely* right, maybe we should do it *your* way and also do this along with it." "Yes, I agree with what you say."
- I normally try to manipulate the response of such people to channelize only their positive energies.
- Most importantly, allow them to remain in their comfort zone, keep your antennae high up in the air, and any sign that the situation may go out of hand, seal the topic there and get busy with something else.
- You may also want to try speaking with your boss's boss asking for his *HELP* to calm your boss down.
- Try appreciating the good things in him. (If you can, say them aloud).
- Get him involved. Seek his help in case studies. (Especially if there's a situation where there is conflict, seek his opinion, tell him how you intend to handle the situation and ask if he agrees with your method. {and if he doesn't, don't get disheartened, follow your heart in solving the situation} the idea here is to get his thought process started).
You would realize a lot more things that you can do, once you decide to stretch a helping hand to your boss.
You have taken up a noble cause. I applaud your effort :). I would really, really like to hear about the progress. And if you feel frustrated and begin feeling "why the hell am I even tolerating this @#%$23!" share your feelings too. I am cool with listening to whatever you wish to share with me.
Cheers.
From India, Pune
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I really appreciate your decision to stand your ground and fight your own battle. I'm very positive that not only would you one day gain the respect of this same boss, but you would also bring about a positive change in the thought process of your colleagues. This would be your greatest reward! And only you would know how sweet it tastes when you finally receive it.
Like most people said here, that quitting is the easiest, it's persistence that makes you a winner. I would also like to draw your attention to one important aspect. There are some people with very strong negativities. If you do decide to face your boss, and you very EARNESTLY wish to help him (he has reasons for his behavior and can be calmed to an extent), prepare yourself well. This could be a very difficult task. You would need to be careful that his negative attitude does not affect you, and that you do not take the office package into your domestic space. If you feel that's happening, and you cannot handle it, I would say, don't stretch it too far; he isn't your responsibility.
I too had a temperament. The things that I tried to tune myself down, I am sharing them with you. These have worked on me, and my colleagues/friends/relatives. Hope it helps you too.
- First of all, tell yourself "I *choose* to work with my boss and accept him as my boss."
- "No one can make me feel inferior, without *my consent*."
- I have faith in my mission (to tune down my Boss! :), at least a tad bit).
- When someone is angry, refrain from advising/highlighting mistakes. Bring the topic up at a later time when things are cooler.
- *Respond* rather than React. (Take 5 deep breaths before replying to your boss's demands/questions).
- I use a lot of sentences of agreement when handling adamant/demanding people. E.g., "You are *absolutely* right, maybe we should do it *your* way and also do this along with it." "Yes, I agree with what you say."
- I normally try to manipulate the response of such people to channelize only their positive energies.
- Most importantly, allow them to remain in their comfort zone, keep your antennae high up in the air, and any sign that the situation may go out of hand, seal the topic there and get busy with something else.
- You may also want to try speaking with your boss's boss asking for his *HELP* to calm your boss down.
- Try appreciating the good things in him. (If you can, say them aloud).
- Get him involved. Seek his help in case studies. (Especially if there's a situation where there is conflict, seek his opinion, tell him how you intend to handle the situation and ask if he agrees with your method. {and if he doesn't, don't get disheartened, follow your heart in solving the situation} the idea here is to get his thought process started).
You would realize a lot more things that you can do, once you decide to stretch a helping hand to your boss.
You have taken up a noble cause. I applaud your effort :). I would really, really like to hear about the progress. And if you feel frustrated and begin feeling "why the hell am I even tolerating this @#%$23!" share your feelings too. I am cool with listening to whatever you wish to share with me.
Cheers.
From India, Pune
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Hi Swetha,
We are all HR professionals, and HR requires us to work on situations and tackle problems. There are two options you can consider:
1. As he is a tough guy, try to work with him and understand his weaknesses. I don't suggest working against him, but rather working towards a process where you can handle the situation with ease by anticipating his actions. Remember, "BOSSES are ALWAYS BOSSES," but there will come a day when you will be the boss, and your subordinates may say the same to you. Wherever you go, focus on addressing the situation rather than hastily making decisions. How long will you keep switching without gaining anything? It might make you a "Jack of all trades, master of none," which is not what I want for our HR community.
2. Don't give him a chance to speak.
I hope this helps you in dealing with the situation effectively.
From India, Warangal
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We are all HR professionals, and HR requires us to work on situations and tackle problems. There are two options you can consider:
1. As he is a tough guy, try to work with him and understand his weaknesses. I don't suggest working against him, but rather working towards a process where you can handle the situation with ease by anticipating his actions. Remember, "BOSSES are ALWAYS BOSSES," but there will come a day when you will be the boss, and your subordinates may say the same to you. Wherever you go, focus on addressing the situation rather than hastily making decisions. How long will you keep switching without gaining anything? It might make you a "Jack of all trades, master of none," which is not what I want for our HR community.
2. Don't give him a chance to speak.
I hope this helps you in dealing with the situation effectively.
From India, Warangal
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Hai Shewta, Try to deal with him.Stay there, its going to be a good experience for you to develop a gud career. My best wishes Reds Padma Priya.
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Hi Shewta,
Don't leave your job; face it. I assure you things will definitely change. My personal experience says this. Please read my post "What Does an Admin Assistant Mean?"
Keep doing your work honestly, and your honest work will get noticed one day by your boss. I was in a similar or even worse situation a few years back but now my boss is very nice to me and involves me in almost all things. My honest work is blessed, and yours will be blessed too, so don't leave your job impulsively.
Don't take too much tension and never get frustrated.
Cheers,
Preeti
From India, Mumbai
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Don't leave your job; face it. I assure you things will definitely change. My personal experience says this. Please read my post "What Does an Admin Assistant Mean?"
Keep doing your work honestly, and your honest work will get noticed one day by your boss. I was in a similar or even worse situation a few years back but now my boss is very nice to me and involves me in almost all things. My honest work is blessed, and yours will be blessed too, so don't leave your job impulsively.
Don't take too much tension and never get frustrated.
Cheers,
Preeti
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Shweta,
Your problem is similar to what I dealt with a few months earlier. My boss was also very rude, strict, and full of anger. Based on my experience, my advice is to stick it out as much as you can and learn how to deal with a tough person. I have learned to cope, and I hope the same for you. This experience will be beneficial for your future.
Also, keep some other options in mind as sometimes having such a boss can affect your confidence.
Regards,
Harman
From India, Chandigarh
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Your problem is similar to what I dealt with a few months earlier. My boss was also very rude, strict, and full of anger. Based on my experience, my advice is to stick it out as much as you can and learn how to deal with a tough person. I have learned to cope, and I hope the same for you. This experience will be beneficial for your future.
Also, keep some other options in mind as sometimes having such a boss can affect your confidence.
Regards,
Harman
From India, Chandigarh
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Dear Swetha,
Leaving an organization for the simple reason that the boss is rude is not a solution at all. You have to analyze why the boss acts the way he does. What makes him behave like that has to be found out. Those of you who are affected may be many, and all of you should join together to mend his ways. If you cannot change, you have to change your attitude, which is an adage that can be followed.
Subba Rao Bhagavatula.
From India, Hyderabad
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Leaving an organization for the simple reason that the boss is rude is not a solution at all. You have to analyze why the boss acts the way he does. What makes him behave like that has to be found out. Those of you who are affected may be many, and all of you should join together to mend his ways. If you cannot change, you have to change your attitude, which is an adage that can be followed.
Subba Rao Bhagavatula.
From India, Hyderabad
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Hi Shweta,
Hope that this is not too late a reply. Well, as most people are saying, I too would suggest you stick around for some time; otherwise, you could be branded as a job-hopper. No HR in a potential company will take "tough boss" as a reason for changing jobs. So you may have to create a story to support your decision.
But there is another aspect of this I would like you to consider. I have worked with a very tough and unreasonable boss recently, so I can relate to your current dilemma. But do take time and think about the exact nature of the treatment given to you by your boss. Is it criticism, or is it disregard of your work? If it is criticism, then it means that probably your boss expects more from you. In such a case, before you start your work, understand clearly what the boss expects and act accordingly. Create a list of deliverables that you feel you need to accomplish and get acceptance from your boss that they are the outputs he/she is looking for. If the behavior persists, then something is surely wrong. Avoid getting into the habit of communicating only through emails; it's best heard from the source of work.
If it's disregard, then it means that you are hitting your head against a stone. A boss of this type indicates that if you stay, you will not receive any raises, promotions, or positive appraisals, even if you consider yourself a star performer. I have faced such a situation in my own life. Also, if you keep increasing your output levels without any acknowledgment from your boss, it means that he/she is only interested in the work you do. Whether you thrive or struggle while working is not of interest to him/her. YOU do not matter to the boss! In such a situation, it's best to realize your own potential and decide whether to change jobs or keep facing criticism daily. I chose to quit :)
Hope this is helpful to you!
Cheers! Rupam
From India, Madras
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Hope that this is not too late a reply. Well, as most people are saying, I too would suggest you stick around for some time; otherwise, you could be branded as a job-hopper. No HR in a potential company will take "tough boss" as a reason for changing jobs. So you may have to create a story to support your decision.
But there is another aspect of this I would like you to consider. I have worked with a very tough and unreasonable boss recently, so I can relate to your current dilemma. But do take time and think about the exact nature of the treatment given to you by your boss. Is it criticism, or is it disregard of your work? If it is criticism, then it means that probably your boss expects more from you. In such a case, before you start your work, understand clearly what the boss expects and act accordingly. Create a list of deliverables that you feel you need to accomplish and get acceptance from your boss that they are the outputs he/she is looking for. If the behavior persists, then something is surely wrong. Avoid getting into the habit of communicating only through emails; it's best heard from the source of work.
If it's disregard, then it means that you are hitting your head against a stone. A boss of this type indicates that if you stay, you will not receive any raises, promotions, or positive appraisals, even if you consider yourself a star performer. I have faced such a situation in my own life. Also, if you keep increasing your output levels without any acknowledgment from your boss, it means that he/she is only interested in the work you do. Whether you thrive or struggle while working is not of interest to him/her. YOU do not matter to the boss! In such a situation, it's best to realize your own potential and decide whether to change jobs or keep facing criticism daily. I chose to quit :)
Hope this is helpful to you!
Cheers! Rupam
From India, Madras
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Dear Shweta,
I think you should consider it as a learning experience. Job hopping cannot be a solution because you never know what kind of boss you might get there. Managing difficult people is a part of life, and I'm sure dealing with him will only make you stronger.
Take care.
Regards,
Sangeet
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I think you should consider it as a learning experience. Job hopping cannot be a solution because you never know what kind of boss you might get there. Managing difficult people is a part of life, and I'm sure dealing with him will only make you stronger.
Take care.
Regards,
Sangeet
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Dear Friend,
Firstly, let me tell you something about myself, then only consider my views. I am pursuing my MBA from a reputed institute. During my course, I came in contact with a person who has an experience of 16 years, to whom I asked the same question that you have right now. The answer he gave was simple: give your best. Bosses are there to criticize. They will continue to do so unless you give your level best. However, remember that in professional settings, if the criticism becomes personal, remind yourself that you are an employee of the company, not of the boss. Always give your best and show him that what you, as the boss, are expecting is nothing less than what you can deliver. For me, the sky is the limit, and I aim to exceed your expectations.
My mentor was a country head of a company and was in marketing before pursuing a Ph.D. You can decide whether I am right or not because you are senior to me. But one thing I learned from that mentor was that "people will throw stones at you, so position yourself where the stones cannot reach," and the only way to do so is through performance.
I apologize if you think I am boasting about something that may not be practically executable.
The best example is of "Philips," a swimmer in the Olympics who said, "I don't want to be '2nd splits,' I want to be 1st Philips," and he achieved just that.
From India, Pune
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Firstly, let me tell you something about myself, then only consider my views. I am pursuing my MBA from a reputed institute. During my course, I came in contact with a person who has an experience of 16 years, to whom I asked the same question that you have right now. The answer he gave was simple: give your best. Bosses are there to criticize. They will continue to do so unless you give your level best. However, remember that in professional settings, if the criticism becomes personal, remind yourself that you are an employee of the company, not of the boss. Always give your best and show him that what you, as the boss, are expecting is nothing less than what you can deliver. For me, the sky is the limit, and I aim to exceed your expectations.
My mentor was a country head of a company and was in marketing before pursuing a Ph.D. You can decide whether I am right or not because you are senior to me. But one thing I learned from that mentor was that "people will throw stones at you, so position yourself where the stones cannot reach," and the only way to do so is through performance.
I apologize if you think I am boasting about something that may not be practically executable.
The best example is of "Philips," a swimmer in the Olympics who said, "I don't want to be '2nd splits,' I want to be 1st Philips," and he achieved just that.
From India, Pune
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Hello Sweeta,
I would like to advise you that this is a challenging work environment. People with low patience levels are usually result-oriented and become frustrated with the constraints on resources within the company. This frustration ultimately leads to cynical behavior. In such an environment, you may either be appreciated or end up in trouble. It is better to presume the worst-case scenario first and then decide on the business priorities. Organize meetings to deliberate on the priority issues, take some initiatives, and try to divert the attention of the staff towards constructive work in the office. This will help in bringing a change in the work climate and prevent the behavior of your boss from affecting employee morale. Remember not to confront your boss. Focus on your HR priorities, organize official meetings, and discussions to create a good business case in the forum. These activities will demonstrate your commitment and focus on your role, ultimately leading to good solutions. Individual behavior should not hinder the growth of others if they understand the purpose for which they were recruited.
Regards,
Sawant
From Saudi Arabia
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I would like to advise you that this is a challenging work environment. People with low patience levels are usually result-oriented and become frustrated with the constraints on resources within the company. This frustration ultimately leads to cynical behavior. In such an environment, you may either be appreciated or end up in trouble. It is better to presume the worst-case scenario first and then decide on the business priorities. Organize meetings to deliberate on the priority issues, take some initiatives, and try to divert the attention of the staff towards constructive work in the office. This will help in bringing a change in the work climate and prevent the behavior of your boss from affecting employee morale. Remember not to confront your boss. Focus on your HR priorities, organize official meetings, and discussions to create a good business case in the forum. These activities will demonstrate your commitment and focus on your role, ultimately leading to good solutions. Individual behavior should not hinder the growth of others if they understand the purpose for which they were recruited.
Regards,
Sawant
From Saudi Arabia
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Hi, really a very nice situation! Confused about what I'm saying? Okay, let me explain this situation to you. Don't take this situation negatively. Be positive. I want this only from you.
Let your boss be rude. Don't focus on his behavior. Let yourself be sweet. Do your work sincerely. After completing your work, when you are going to report to him, just ignore the negative things he says. Only accept the appreciation you want from him. Go to his room, face him, listen to the good and ignore the bad words. When you come out of the room, leave the bad words behind. If he appreciates you in any way, take those words with you. So, don't worry, be happy.
And don't forget to say "thanks" after he criticizes you. Be positive!
From India, Delhi
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Let your boss be rude. Don't focus on his behavior. Let yourself be sweet. Do your work sincerely. After completing your work, when you are going to report to him, just ignore the negative things he says. Only accept the appreciation you want from him. Go to his room, face him, listen to the good and ignore the bad words. When you come out of the room, leave the bad words behind. If he appreciates you in any way, take those words with you. So, don't worry, be happy.
And don't forget to say "thanks" after he criticizes you. Be positive!
From India, Delhi
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Hi Sweeta,
Always remember, "TOUGH TIMES ARE TESTING TIMES".
Simply, if you want comfort in your life, you should not give up in such situations and look for other alternatives. But if you really want to grow in your career, you must look for such challenges. Once you are able to handle such situations, you will become a lifetime winner.
Regards
From India, Mumbai
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Always remember, "TOUGH TIMES ARE TESTING TIMES".
Simply, if you want comfort in your life, you should not give up in such situations and look for other alternatives. But if you really want to grow in your career, you must look for such challenges. Once you are able to handle such situations, you will become a lifetime winner.
Regards
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Shweta,
You will find positive and negative people everywhere you go, so instead of changing your job, be calm and cool, and learn to tackle difficult people. All the best, and I'm sure you will adjust and be an example for others too.
From India, Pune
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You will find positive and negative people everywhere you go, so instead of changing your job, be calm and cool, and learn to tackle difficult people. All the best, and I'm sure you will adjust and be an example for others too.
From India, Pune
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Every individual aspires for change in his/her life. Considering the fact that you would look for change in the future, what I want to suggest is the same as what all others have suggested to you. You will encounter more strict, rude, and yelling bosses in the future. If you learn how to handle tough situations now, you will become a master at dealing with such issues in the future. However, if you are planning to quit now, you will lose an opportunity to learn something that could truly help you to become more effective and efficient in your life. Thank you.
From India
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From India
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Dear Friends,
Thank you for your valuable suggestions. I have made up my mind to stay here only and establish my own standing in the organization.
Once again, thank you very much for helping me out of the dilemma and guiding me on the right track. It's actually not that tough.
Regards,
Shweta
From India, Coimbatore
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Thank you for your valuable suggestions. I have made up my mind to stay here only and establish my own standing in the organization.
Once again, thank you very much for helping me out of the dilemma and guiding me on the right track. It's actually not that tough.
Regards,
Shweta
From India, Coimbatore
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Hey,
You know what the worry is? That your boss likes the fact that everyone fears him. He is the autocratic type of a leader. Honestly, these are the simplest to tackle as they are very soft in the interior. I reckon stop avoiding your boss, talk to him purposefully, take initiative. Of course, ensure all your tasks are done well. In case you get stuck somewhere, appreciate your boss's knowledge and ask him for advice. Hope you get me. Try to find out what he likes and what he does not. Wish him a happy birthday someday, possibly things should change. Not instantly, but after a while.
P.S. During the transformation, there may be times he might yell at you as well, but take it sportingly.
From India, Mumbai
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You know what the worry is? That your boss likes the fact that everyone fears him. He is the autocratic type of a leader. Honestly, these are the simplest to tackle as they are very soft in the interior. I reckon stop avoiding your boss, talk to him purposefully, take initiative. Of course, ensure all your tasks are done well. In case you get stuck somewhere, appreciate your boss's knowledge and ask him for advice. Hope you get me. Try to find out what he likes and what he does not. Wish him a happy birthday someday, possibly things should change. Not instantly, but after a while.
P.S. During the transformation, there may be times he might yell at you as well, but take it sportingly.
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Shwe11,
My situation is different from yours. My boss is very lenient. Regardless of our actions, she provides no feedback, no adjustments, and no input. She doesn't even have clear expectations or goals for our work. I find it tedious to work with her because she doesn't offer any motivation. However, I am not considering quitting because I believe I can make a difference within my role. I have set my own goals and focus on self-development.
Hope you can learn from this reality!
From Vietnam, Hanoi
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My situation is different from yours. My boss is very lenient. Regardless of our actions, she provides no feedback, no adjustments, and no input. She doesn't even have clear expectations or goals for our work. I find it tedious to work with her because she doesn't offer any motivation. However, I am not considering quitting because I believe I can make a difference within my role. I have set my own goals and focus on self-development.
Hope you can learn from this reality!
From Vietnam, Hanoi
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Dear Shweta,
Greetings to you.
I can understand your difficulties. I had a similar problem in my early days. My boss was much the same. I did three things. I observed him patiently and analyzed the events when he really got upset with people. It was hard, but I found that he liked to be kept informed about all matters, including routine tasks. He preferred organized paperwork and meeting deadlines. I took this as a challenge and never engaged in gossip. I discovered that he had a few individuals who provided him with feedback about people. I also identified the things he appreciated, although he may not have acknowledged them. It was a long journey of several months of continuous struggle, but I did not give up.
Simultaneously, I spoke to him on the day he criticized and asked for reasons. I justified my actions through issue-based discussions. I never avoided him through indirect communication but faced him directly.
The third thing I did was maintain consistent superior performance. Of course, I did this while considering his preferences.
He turned out to be the best boss, and I enjoyed three years of a good, professional working relationship.
I don't think anything is tailor-made because people are unique, as are the issues they present. But try your best with all that you have within you. You will succeed. Winners are not quitters.
Let us know once you succeed.
Joy Christian
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Greetings to you.
I can understand your difficulties. I had a similar problem in my early days. My boss was much the same. I did three things. I observed him patiently and analyzed the events when he really got upset with people. It was hard, but I found that he liked to be kept informed about all matters, including routine tasks. He preferred organized paperwork and meeting deadlines. I took this as a challenge and never engaged in gossip. I discovered that he had a few individuals who provided him with feedback about people. I also identified the things he appreciated, although he may not have acknowledged them. It was a long journey of several months of continuous struggle, but I did not give up.
Simultaneously, I spoke to him on the day he criticized and asked for reasons. I justified my actions through issue-based discussions. I never avoided him through indirect communication but faced him directly.
The third thing I did was maintain consistent superior performance. Of course, I did this while considering his preferences.
He turned out to be the best boss, and I enjoyed three years of a good, professional working relationship.
I don't think anything is tailor-made because people are unique, as are the issues they present. But try your best with all that you have within you. You will succeed. Winners are not quitters.
Let us know once you succeed.
Joy Christian
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Don’t quit. This is where you have to show your skill and manage to work with him. Be in your team but understand his mentality and show him that you are in favour of him also. Regards, Shruti
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
It will be a challenging situation to prove yourself as a good motivator and productive employee. My suggestion is not to leave your boss but focus on motivating your employees and yourself. This way, you will gain a lot of experience in handling grievances. Have fun in the game and win!
Regards,
Jayanthi
Hi Friends!
I am facing a serious problem and really need your suggestions. I have recently started working as an Assistant Manager-HR in an MNC. The issue I am dealing with is my boss. He is very rude, unlike anyone I've encountered before. In my previous company, I handled multiple responsibilities efficiently. It was difficult to get them to approve my resignation, but eventually, it went through after a month.
In my current company, it has been two months, and my boss's tough personality is a challenge. He is rude to the entire staff, which has left everyone frustrated. Even when we do our work well, he never acknowledges it but readily criticizes us, often in front of others. I find it hard to communicate with him and tend to avoid him, resorting to email for interactions. The office atmosphere is filled with negativity towards him. He is an NRI who spends 15 days in Singapore and 15 days in India, and it seems he prefers Singapore's culture over India's. He frequently scolds everyone, even for minor issues, displaying impatience.
I am unsure how to handle this situation. Apart from him, the rest of the staff is great. Should I start looking for another job or stay in this company to gain experience in handling difficult people? I have other job options available but wonder if changing jobs now would be a practical decision.
Please advise and help me.
Thanks,
Shweta Jaitly
From India, Bangalore
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It will be a challenging situation to prove yourself as a good motivator and productive employee. My suggestion is not to leave your boss but focus on motivating your employees and yourself. This way, you will gain a lot of experience in handling grievances. Have fun in the game and win!
Regards,
Jayanthi
Hi Friends!
I am facing a serious problem and really need your suggestions. I have recently started working as an Assistant Manager-HR in an MNC. The issue I am dealing with is my boss. He is very rude, unlike anyone I've encountered before. In my previous company, I handled multiple responsibilities efficiently. It was difficult to get them to approve my resignation, but eventually, it went through after a month.
In my current company, it has been two months, and my boss's tough personality is a challenge. He is rude to the entire staff, which has left everyone frustrated. Even when we do our work well, he never acknowledges it but readily criticizes us, often in front of others. I find it hard to communicate with him and tend to avoid him, resorting to email for interactions. The office atmosphere is filled with negativity towards him. He is an NRI who spends 15 days in Singapore and 15 days in India, and it seems he prefers Singapore's culture over India's. He frequently scolds everyone, even for minor issues, displaying impatience.
I am unsure how to handle this situation. Apart from him, the rest of the staff is great. Should I start looking for another job or stay in this company to gain experience in handling difficult people? I have other job options available but wonder if changing jobs now would be a practical decision.
Please advise and help me.
Thanks,
Shweta Jaitly
From India, Bangalore
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Hi,
Some people are tough in the beginning to work with …as relationship develops they ease out in the relationship..some people are bad at mouth but good at heart as my x-boss who used slangs like I will throw you out of this bloody window but when he used to meet you in official parties he was a thorough Gentlemen in the beginning I found tough to understand his personality ..but slowly slowly I understood his style of working his likes and dislikes and I used to work as per that ……with the time the gap narrowed and I didn't had any problems with him…….others used to come and ask me how do I handle such a tough guy so I suppose in the beginning since there are teething problems hence one find it difficult to adjust just relax understand his requirement, know his likes and dislikes and I think you would be in a better situation in the time to follow…if still things persists be ready for the worse as well and look for options …..one should always be calculative ..as said pls do your SWOT Analysis hence be prepared for everything , anything and nothing……….Though Very easy to say that if going gets tough ….you also become tougher….
From United Kingdom
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Some people are tough in the beginning to work with …as relationship develops they ease out in the relationship..some people are bad at mouth but good at heart as my x-boss who used slangs like I will throw you out of this bloody window but when he used to meet you in official parties he was a thorough Gentlemen in the beginning I found tough to understand his personality ..but slowly slowly I understood his style of working his likes and dislikes and I used to work as per that ……with the time the gap narrowed and I didn't had any problems with him…….others used to come and ask me how do I handle such a tough guy so I suppose in the beginning since there are teething problems hence one find it difficult to adjust just relax understand his requirement, know his likes and dislikes and I think you would be in a better situation in the time to follow…if still things persists be ready for the worse as well and look for options …..one should always be calculative ..as said pls do your SWOT Analysis hence be prepared for everything , anything and nothing……….Though Very easy to say that if going gets tough ….you also become tougher….
From United Kingdom
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Hi,
Do the following things:
1. Observe your boss carefully and try to find out his likings and dislikings.
2. Try to find what annoys him the most, avoid those behaviors, and suggest to your other friends to do the same.
3. Try to know about his habits at his Singapore office. If you notice any differences, try to understand the reasons behind them. If he behaves the same way at the Singapore office, then it's your luck; your boss is like that.
4. If you notice a change in your boss's behavior at the Singapore office, try to understand his office culture there.
See the end of this episode. Don't leave the job instantly; you are gaining valuable experience.
Borhan
From Bangladesh, Dhaka
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Do the following things:
1. Observe your boss carefully and try to find out his likings and dislikings.
2. Try to find what annoys him the most, avoid those behaviors, and suggest to your other friends to do the same.
3. Try to know about his habits at his Singapore office. If you notice any differences, try to understand the reasons behind them. If he behaves the same way at the Singapore office, then it's your luck; your boss is like that.
4. If you notice a change in your boss's behavior at the Singapore office, try to understand his office culture there.
See the end of this episode. Don't leave the job instantly; you are gaining valuable experience.
Borhan
From Bangladesh, Dhaka
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Hi Shweta,
I have a different take on this. I know it may be difficult right now, but if you have supportive colleagues, you all can together try to communicate subtly to the Big Bad Boss how atrocious his behavior actually is. In any case, while you are using this opportunity to pick up key skills in HR and interpersonal interactions, do not allow the experience to mar you or make you bitter. As they say, "Employees join a Company, but leave a bad boss." I have personally seen this happen so many times that I know that it cannot just be brushed away as being inconsequential. If you cannot take the pressure or if the behavior becomes personally taxing, do remember that the world is a big place and there are lots of opportunities elsewhere. I don't think one needs to be a martyr in this day and age. All the best!
Regards,
SD
From India, Bhubaneswar
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I have a different take on this. I know it may be difficult right now, but if you have supportive colleagues, you all can together try to communicate subtly to the Big Bad Boss how atrocious his behavior actually is. In any case, while you are using this opportunity to pick up key skills in HR and interpersonal interactions, do not allow the experience to mar you or make you bitter. As they say, "Employees join a Company, but leave a bad boss." I have personally seen this happen so many times that I know that it cannot just be brushed away as being inconsequential. If you cannot take the pressure or if the behavior becomes personally taxing, do remember that the world is a big place and there are lots of opportunities elsewhere. I don't think one needs to be a martyr in this day and age. All the best!
Regards,
SD
From India, Bhubaneswar
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)Hi Sweeta,
My previous advise may not have understood correctly so here is systematic approach to deal with such difficult boss as follows:
Most people at some point in their lives have to deal with a difficult boss. Difficult supervisors vary in personality from being a little pushy or rude, all the way to being downright abusive. Many people feel that an abusive boss has control of their personal life outside of work by lowering their self-esteem and making them live in constant fear. The role of a supervisor sometimes attracts certain controlling-type personalities because they crave the power it gives them and because they lack such control in their own personal lives. A supervisor has complete control over your most basic human needs—your ability to put food on the table and a roof over your head. These are powerful motivating factors that allow a difficult supervisor to control people out of fear of losing these basic needs. We may not be able to always correct their behavior, but we should never have to live in fear and let our difficult boss control our lives.
Here are some strategies on handling a difficult boss situation.
Always have a plan B. Most people are scared about having a discussion with their boss concerning their abusive behavior because they fear reprimand or losing their job. Their fear is usually justified if the supervisor is a control-freak and feels that their subordinate is threatening their control. Before you deal with any type of conflict, you always need to have a plan B in case things don't work out. A plan B is the best alternative that you can come up without having to negotiate anything with your boss. In this type of scenario, your best plan B would probably take the form of having an actual job offer in hand with another employer before you have your talk. By not having a back-up plan, you have given your abusive boss even more leverage over you because they know you have no where else to go. Having a plan B, however, empowers you with the ability to walk-away at any time should the negotiation not go right. Increase your power and have a plan B before you deal with the conflict.
Never react to verbal abuse or harsh criticism with emotion. This will always get you into more trouble than you started with because it will become a war between egos and chances are good that your boss has a bigger ego than you have—hence why he is difficult in the first place. When a personal attack is made on you, they are trying to bait you into reacting emotionally because once you react, you become an easy target for additional attacks. The key then is not to react, but to acknowledge and move on. By doing this, you effectively strip all of the power behind their verbal attacks away from your abusive boss, without creating conflict. If your boss happens to be an intimidator or a control freak, then the best way of dealing with their behavior is to remain calm and acknowledge their power by saying, "You're right, I'm sorry." By saying this, you take away any chance of them lashing back at you because you have sidestepped their verbal attack rather than meeting it head on.
Discuss rather than confront. When your boss criticizes you, don't react out of emotion and become confrontational with them about it because that just breeds more conflict. Instead, use their criticism as a topic for discussion on interests, goals, and problem-solving and ask them for their advice. If they criticize your work, then that means that they have their own idea on how that work should be done, so ask them for their advice on how your work can be improved.
Manage the manager. A source of conflict usually occurs when a group of employees gets a new manager who demands that things run differently. These changes are usually reactionary in nature because the employees go about their regular duties until the manager comes by and criticizes the way it is being done. Instead of waiting for their criticism, take a proactive approach and be absolutely clear from the very beginning on how your boss wants things to be done so that there is no miscommunication later on. There are many ways of completing a task and having a discussion about them at the very beginning will allow you to see things from their perspective as well as sharing your own with them. Get to know their likes and dislikes inside and out so that you can avoid future criticisms.
Know that you can do little to change them. Being a difficult person is part of their personality and therefore it is a very difficult, if not impossible thing to change in a supervisor, so don't think that you can change how they act. Instead, change the way that you view their behavior. Don't label them as being a jerk--just merely label them as your boss. By avoiding derogatory labeling, you avoid making it easy on yourself to be angry with your boss.
Keep your professional face on. Know the difference between not liking your boss and not being professional. You don't have to make your boss your friend or even like your boss as a person, but you do have to remain professional and get the job done and carry out their instructions dutifully as a subordinate, just as you would expect them to be professional as do their duties as a supervisor.
Evaluate your own performance. Before you go attacking your boss, examine your own performance and ask yourself if you are doing everything right. Get opinions from other coworkers about your performance and see if there is any warrant to the criticisms of your supervisor before you criticize their opinions.
Gather additional support. If others share in your concern, then you have the power of numbers behind you to give you additional persuasion power over your boss. It is often easy for a supervisor to ignore or attack one employee, but it becomes more difficult to attack all of his employees. He might be able to fire one of you, but he will look like an idiot (and probably get fired himself) if he tries to fire all of you. An interdepartment union is a good way of mustering power against an abusive employer.
Don't go to up the chain of command unless it's a last resort. Going straight up the chain of command is not an effective way of dealing with a difficult supervisor because it only increases conflict in the workplace. Your immediate supervisor will consider this a very serious backstabbing maneuver and might seek some sort of retribution in the future against you and your career. Also, other people in your workplace might brand you as a whistleblower because of your actions. Try to discuss issues with your supervisor first and only go up the chain of command as a last resort.
Encourage good behavior with praise. It is easy to criticize your superiors, but criticisms often lead towards resentment and hostile feelings. Everyone likes a pat on the back for good behavior, so you should strive to watch for good behaviors from your supervisor and compliment them on that. Proactive praising is much more effective than reactive criticisms.
Document everything. If you choose to stay with a toxic employer, then document everything. This will become your main ammunition should a complaint ever be filed down the road. Document interactions with them as well as your own activities so that you can remind them of your own achievements at performance review time.
Leave work at work. Get into the habit of leaving work at home and not bringing it into your personal life because that will only add to your level of stress. Keep your professional life separate from your personal life as best as you can. This also includes having friends who you don't work with so that you can detach yourself from your work life rather than bringing it home with you.
Is it OK now?
Regards
Sawant
From Saudi Arabia
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Hi Shweta,
I suggest staying there for some time, at least for 1 year, because job hopping is not good. You may encounter difficult people at other places too. It's all about how we manage. Since it's a new place, with new people and a new environment, you may feel frustrated. It takes some time to get adjusted to the new environment and new people. After some time, you will get accustomed to those people and will know how to deal with such individuals.
Even after one year, if you feel like leaving, you can search for another job, but not in the initial stages of starting a new job. If the next interviewer asks you why you left, what would be your answer? You cannot just say it's because your boss is not good. If you do, he will think that you are also the same kind of person, and it will have a negative impact on you.
Think properly and make a decision, but I still suggest staying for some time. If not 1 year, at least for 6 months so that you can say that you have been appointed on a contract basis.
Bye,
Usha
---
Hi Friends!
I am facing a serious problem and really need your suggestions. I have joined an MNC as an Assistant Manager-HR. My problem is my boss. He is very rude, and I have never come across a personality like this before. In my last company, I was involved in multiple things and was a very efficient employee. In fact, they were not willing to let me go, and I got my resignation approved after one month.
Here in this new company, it's been 2 months now, but my boss is really a tough personality. He is rude to the entire staff. Everybody is frustrated, but what can we do? Even if we all work well, he never acknowledges it, but he criticizes us, and that too in front of everybody. I don't feel like talking to him and generally avoid him. I communicate with him only through emails. The entire office backbites about him. He is an NRI, and as per the company rule, he spends 15 days in Singapore and 15 days in India. It seems like he likes the culture in Singapore but not in India. He keeps scolding everybody for even trivial issues. He is also very impatient.
I really don't know how to handle the situation. Besides him, the entire staff is very good. Should I look for another option or stick to this company and gain experience in handling difficult people? I have the option of job hopping now, but would it be a practical decision?
Please advise and help me.
Thanks,
Shweta Jaitly
From India, Hyderabad
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I suggest staying there for some time, at least for 1 year, because job hopping is not good. You may encounter difficult people at other places too. It's all about how we manage. Since it's a new place, with new people and a new environment, you may feel frustrated. It takes some time to get adjusted to the new environment and new people. After some time, you will get accustomed to those people and will know how to deal with such individuals.
Even after one year, if you feel like leaving, you can search for another job, but not in the initial stages of starting a new job. If the next interviewer asks you why you left, what would be your answer? You cannot just say it's because your boss is not good. If you do, he will think that you are also the same kind of person, and it will have a negative impact on you.
Think properly and make a decision, but I still suggest staying for some time. If not 1 year, at least for 6 months so that you can say that you have been appointed on a contract basis.
Bye,
Usha
---
Hi Friends!
I am facing a serious problem and really need your suggestions. I have joined an MNC as an Assistant Manager-HR. My problem is my boss. He is very rude, and I have never come across a personality like this before. In my last company, I was involved in multiple things and was a very efficient employee. In fact, they were not willing to let me go, and I got my resignation approved after one month.
Here in this new company, it's been 2 months now, but my boss is really a tough personality. He is rude to the entire staff. Everybody is frustrated, but what can we do? Even if we all work well, he never acknowledges it, but he criticizes us, and that too in front of everybody. I don't feel like talking to him and generally avoid him. I communicate with him only through emails. The entire office backbites about him. He is an NRI, and as per the company rule, he spends 15 days in Singapore and 15 days in India. It seems like he likes the culture in Singapore but not in India. He keeps scolding everybody for even trivial issues. He is also very impatient.
I really don't know how to handle the situation. Besides him, the entire staff is very good. Should I look for another option or stick to this company and gain experience in handling difficult people? I have the option of job hopping now, but would it be a practical decision?
Please advise and help me.
Thanks,
Shweta Jaitly
From India, Hyderabad
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As per the specifications submitted by you, it is understood that your boss has a "bossy, ruthless professional character." People with such characteristics like to dominate others and treat them as inferior.
The best policy to deal with such people is confrontation. Since he is your boss and you are new to the organization, it is suggested that you and your team members confront him indirectly about his various professional downsides. This may either catch him off guard or prompt him to make improvements.
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The best policy to deal with such people is confrontation. Since he is your boss and you are new to the organization, it is suggested that you and your team members confront him indirectly about his various professional downsides. This may either catch him off guard or prompt him to make improvements.
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I don't see any significant problem in your situation. You need to address this issue with your management regarding his behavior, and that's where HR has to play a role. If you don't see any positive response from the management regarding the individual, then I would suggest not investing too much of your career in an organization that fails to recognize the invaluable contributions of the HR team. Lastly, "People leave the company because of bosses," so make a decision rather than letting the issue negatively impact your career.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Dear Shweta,
I also faced the same situation in my career for almost 4 years. My bosses were not cooperative. I left one job within 2 months due to frustration, and that affected my CV a lot.
But now I am realizing the difference because of such situations. I learned how to deal with such bosses.
Stick to the organization and try to find ways to work with him.
Definitely, you will achieve success.
Regards,
Shailesh
From India, Mumbai
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I also faced the same situation in my career for almost 4 years. My bosses were not cooperative. I left one job within 2 months due to frustration, and that affected my CV a lot.
But now I am realizing the difference because of such situations. I learned how to deal with such bosses.
Stick to the organization and try to find ways to work with him.
Definitely, you will achieve success.
Regards,
Shailesh
From India, Mumbai
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