Dear Ranveer,
Please share what happened to you. It would be a general comment if we suggest anything without knowing what you went through. I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
Cite Contribution
From India, Mumbai
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1872Please share what happened to you. It would be a general comment if we suggest anything without knowing what you went through. I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
Cite Contribution
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Ranveer,
Our mentors guide and enable us. They are our leaders and sounding boards. Ethically, they don't leave us. Similarly, we stay in touch with them irrespective of the distance and relevance.
Please help me understand what is your reason to feel so lost. Her words and advice have strengthened and wizened you. If your mentor has progressed into another job, that should motivate you to work harder towards your growth. I believe this is the best time for you to implement what you learned from her and stand strong on your feet.
I am sure you have always done your mentor proud and would you continue to do so. Groom yourself further towards your goal. Share your progress with us; we would be happy to know more on that.
Wish you all the best!
Regards,
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
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Our mentors guide and enable us. They are our leaders and sounding boards. Ethically, they don't leave us. Similarly, we stay in touch with them irrespective of the distance and relevance.
Please help me understand what is your reason to feel so lost. Her words and advice have strengthened and wizened you. If your mentor has progressed into another job, that should motivate you to work harder towards your growth. I believe this is the best time for you to implement what you learned from her and stand strong on your feet.
I am sure you have always done your mentor proud and would you continue to do so. Groom yourself further towards your goal. Share your progress with us; we would be happy to know more on that.
Wish you all the best!
Regards,
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Ranveer,
There are a few contradictory statements in your messages, and hence, I am confused. The title says ".... He is miffed with me.....", which indicates that your mentor is not happy with you and the person is male. You also state in your first post "...I think it was my fault".
In response to (Cite Contribution)'s request for clarification, you state "It wasn't my fault. My mentor got another job, and so she left..." This implies that your mentor is female and she left for another job. You also state that you were/are emotionally attached to her. What does that mean?
In these days of super technology, distance should not matter. You should be able to keep in touch with the mentor by phone, etc.
Have a nice day.
Simhan Learning and Teaching Fellow (Retd.) The University of Bolton, UK.
"It is never too late to learn or improve oneself"
From United Kingdom
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There are a few contradictory statements in your messages, and hence, I am confused. The title says ".... He is miffed with me.....", which indicates that your mentor is not happy with you and the person is male. You also state in your first post "...I think it was my fault".
In response to (Cite Contribution)'s request for clarification, you state "It wasn't my fault. My mentor got another job, and so she left..." This implies that your mentor is female and she left for another job. You also state that you were/are emotionally attached to her. What does that mean?
In these days of super technology, distance should not matter. You should be able to keep in touch with the mentor by phone, etc.
Have a nice day.
Simhan Learning and Teaching Fellow (Retd.) The University of Bolton, UK.
"It is never too late to learn or improve oneself"
From United Kingdom
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Dear Ranveer,
This is in addition to what (Cite Contribution) and Mr. Simhan have said.
Mentors are an amalgamation of a guide, coach, trainer, teacher, counselor, and an elderly friend. They are supposed to help grow our personality as a whole and also build the character of the mentee.
I did not understand how you developed an emotional attachment with the mentor. I do understand that separation from a person who has helped develop you can cause distress, but from your post, what I find is not distress but an emotional breakdown.
Nothing is permanent in this world except change. So, what you need to do is choose a new mentor. Finally, what matters is career progression and not emotional attachment.
Secondly, you need to mention whether this mentor-mentee relationship was approved by your organization. Was it part of your organization's "Formal Mentoring Programme"? If it is a formal program, then you should approach HR or the mentoring coordinator for a new mentor. Where your old mentor left off, let the new mentor pick up the thread.
Dinesh V Divekar
"It is not the goal but the direction that decides the destination."
From India, Bangalore
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This is in addition to what (Cite Contribution) and Mr. Simhan have said.
Mentors are an amalgamation of a guide, coach, trainer, teacher, counselor, and an elderly friend. They are supposed to help grow our personality as a whole and also build the character of the mentee.
I did not understand how you developed an emotional attachment with the mentor. I do understand that separation from a person who has helped develop you can cause distress, but from your post, what I find is not distress but an emotional breakdown.
Nothing is permanent in this world except change. So, what you need to do is choose a new mentor. Finally, what matters is career progression and not emotional attachment.
Secondly, you need to mention whether this mentor-mentee relationship was approved by your organization. Was it part of your organization's "Formal Mentoring Programme"? If it is a formal program, then you should approach HR or the mentoring coordinator for a new mentor. Where your old mentor left off, let the new mentor pick up the thread.
Dinesh V Divekar
"It is not the goal but the direction that decides the destination."
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Mr. Ranveer,
How old are you and how old is your mentor? If I am not wrong, your emotional feelings are making you feel different about your mentor. Please think about your life and let your mentor live his or her life because we members are yet to figure out what's the gender of your mentor... Most of your statements sound contradictory to your feelings. You said "I don't know how I forget her."
You need to understand the role of a mentor; it's a professional role offering/extending a professional relationship. Don't let your emotional feelings spoil your relationship with your mentor. Don't fall in love with your mentor and try to be a true professional if you wish to scale up or progress in your career. Step forward with courage and prove what you are, else you will be lost in the middle of the desert.
Other members have given you their best advice. Implement the same in your life.
With profound regards,
From India, Chennai
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How old are you and how old is your mentor? If I am not wrong, your emotional feelings are making you feel different about your mentor. Please think about your life and let your mentor live his or her life because we members are yet to figure out what's the gender of your mentor... Most of your statements sound contradictory to your feelings. You said "I don't know how I forget her."
You need to understand the role of a mentor; it's a professional role offering/extending a professional relationship. Don't let your emotional feelings spoil your relationship with your mentor. Don't fall in love with your mentor and try to be a true professional if you wish to scale up or progress in your career. Step forward with courage and prove what you are, else you will be lost in the middle of the desert.
Other members have given you their best advice. Implement the same in your life.
With profound regards,
From India, Chennai
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I agree with the senior members above. It appears you have developed an emotional attachment with your mentor, which should have strictly been only professional. I will not be surprised if your mentor is only a few years older than you.
To put it bluntly, I guess you have developed a crush for your mentor, and now that she is not there, you are missing her. Shake it off and move on. It's only in your interest. Look for another mentor (preferably male) and don't get emotionally attached this time. Maintain the highest level of professional relationship, and you will be good to go.
All the best.
From Netherlands
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To put it bluntly, I guess you have developed a crush for your mentor, and now that she is not there, you are missing her. Shake it off and move on. It's only in your interest. Look for another mentor (preferably male) and don't get emotionally attached this time. Maintain the highest level of professional relationship, and you will be good to go.
All the best.
From Netherlands
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Hi Ranvir,
Seniors on this forum have discovered your true problem and have also suggested the right thing to do. Fall in love with your work, not with a co-worker (mentor)! You seem to be around 24 years old, so, boy, you have a long way to go in life. Take hold of your life and move on. Cry as much as you want, let the tears flow, and then walk out. Walk out fresh, walk out new, and fall in love all over again - first with yourself. You will find your destined right person, but until then, tolerate the wrong ones! :-D
From Kuwait, Salmiya
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Seniors on this forum have discovered your true problem and have also suggested the right thing to do. Fall in love with your work, not with a co-worker (mentor)! You seem to be around 24 years old, so, boy, you have a long way to go in life. Take hold of your life and move on. Cry as much as you want, let the tears flow, and then walk out. Walk out fresh, walk out new, and fall in love all over again - first with yourself. You will find your destined right person, but until then, tolerate the wrong ones! :-D
From Kuwait, Salmiya
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Dear friend Ranveer,
Welcome to CiteHR.com!
You joined this site on 28th June and posted your thread immediately thereafter, presumably as a last resort to find a solution if what you say - that you have been CRYING for a month - is true.
You haven't given much information about yourself, your job, your role, etc. Are you a trainee?
Despite the lack of information, seniors have given you appropriate replies and solutions.
In addition to theirs, what I can add is:
- The word Mentor is derived from Greek mythology wherein Odysseus put his son Telemachus under the care and tutelage of his friend, Mentor.
- Mentoring is a specialized skill, and your Mentor, sadly, seems to lack this skill; otherwise, she could have stopped such a situation.
- A good mentor will not develop an EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE in the Mentee - the person being mentored.
- Many good companies have a very stringent and specific system of Mentoring.
It is a pity that you have developed an unhealthy relationship with your Mentor, and your suffering is caused by it.
Since you are young, I would suggest that you eschew such habits or predispositions of CONSIDERING THE WORKPLACE AS AN AVENUE OR VENUE FOR ROMANTIC LIAISONS; first learn to be good and adept at your job.
I hope this shocks you enough and helps in bringing you out of your miserable state of self-pity, loss of confidence, and self-delusions.
Please feel free to write back and seek further support if you need to.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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Welcome to CiteHR.com!
You joined this site on 28th June and posted your thread immediately thereafter, presumably as a last resort to find a solution if what you say - that you have been CRYING for a month - is true.
You haven't given much information about yourself, your job, your role, etc. Are you a trainee?
Despite the lack of information, seniors have given you appropriate replies and solutions.
In addition to theirs, what I can add is:
- The word Mentor is derived from Greek mythology wherein Odysseus put his son Telemachus under the care and tutelage of his friend, Mentor.
- Mentoring is a specialized skill, and your Mentor, sadly, seems to lack this skill; otherwise, she could have stopped such a situation.
- A good mentor will not develop an EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE in the Mentee - the person being mentored.
- Many good companies have a very stringent and specific system of Mentoring.
It is a pity that you have developed an unhealthy relationship with your Mentor, and your suffering is caused by it.
Since you are young, I would suggest that you eschew such habits or predispositions of CONSIDERING THE WORKPLACE AS AN AVENUE OR VENUE FOR ROMANTIC LIAISONS; first learn to be good and adept at your job.
I hope this shocks you enough and helps in bringing you out of your miserable state of self-pity, loss of confidence, and self-delusions.
Please feel free to write back and seek further support if you need to.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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Dear Moderators and Seniors,
It appears the guy who started this post has indeed moved on. He has even deleted his posts and typed some junk characters instead. Is it a good idea to close this thread and move on? People who refer to this thread would not even know what was the original query.
From Netherlands
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It appears the guy who started this post has indeed moved on. He has even deleted his posts and typed some junk characters instead. Is it a good idea to close this thread and move on? People who refer to this thread would not even know what was the original query.
From Netherlands
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Dear Balaji,
Thank you for pointing this out. Presently, there is no need to remove this thread; as even without the original query, the matter herein gives a sufficient idea of the nature of the query. I am sure someone else who has a similar query or problem shall benefit from the discussion. Moreover, just because someone found it awkward enough later (or after having overcome the situation) to remove all traces of their original query does not necessarily imply that we should remove all useful content posted by other members. It would be unfair to them and their efforts and time invested in this. The issue is important, not the personal details.
So, in my opinion, this thread need not be removed; however, it is being closed to prevent further new postings.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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Thank you for pointing this out. Presently, there is no need to remove this thread; as even without the original query, the matter herein gives a sufficient idea of the nature of the query. I am sure someone else who has a similar query or problem shall benefit from the discussion. Moreover, just because someone found it awkward enough later (or after having overcome the situation) to remove all traces of their original query does not necessarily imply that we should remove all useful content posted by other members. It would be unfair to them and their efforts and time invested in this. The issue is important, not the personal details.
So, in my opinion, this thread need not be removed; however, it is being closed to prevent further new postings.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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