Hey everyone,
I recently started a new job, and the background verification (BGV) company reached out with a query: Need relation details with ''X" for further verification. In my job acceptance, I declared myself as married and neither the HR nor anyone has asked anything as of now. The thing is, I’m currently in the process of an annulment with X, but I really don’t want to complicate matters with my employer by disclosing that right now. We never consummated our marriage, and it was just a registry marriage ,and no social marriage was ever done. I’ve answered them truthfully by saying that "X" is my legal spouse since the matter is still ongoing. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Does an ongoing annulment or similar personal legal situation typically affect a background check or a new job (there is no criminal cases involved and its just a civil matter)? Should I proactively disclose the ongoing annulment to HR, or is it fine to just keep it simple and straightforward since they only asked for limited information?
Any advice, especially from those who’ve been through a similar experience or work in HR/BGV, would be really helpful. Thanks in advance!
I recently started a new job, and the background verification (BGV) company reached out with a query: Need relation details with ''X" for further verification. In my job acceptance, I declared myself as married and neither the HR nor anyone has asked anything as of now. The thing is, I’m currently in the process of an annulment with X, but I really don’t want to complicate matters with my employer by disclosing that right now. We never consummated our marriage, and it was just a registry marriage ,and no social marriage was ever done. I’ve answered them truthfully by saying that "X" is my legal spouse since the matter is still ongoing. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Does an ongoing annulment or similar personal legal situation typically affect a background check or a new job (there is no criminal cases involved and its just a civil matter)? Should I proactively disclose the ongoing annulment to HR, or is it fine to just keep it simple and straightforward since they only asked for limited information?
Any advice, especially from those who’ve been through a similar experience or work in HR/BGV, would be really helpful. Thanks in advance!
Dear member,
Even though you declared voluntarily your relation with the 'X', even then also why the BGV team is interested in knowing relations with the X is not understood. The background checks are supposed to be restricted to professional activities and the BGV team should not have business in prying in your personal affairs.
Nevertheless, since you have a registered marriage, the relevant government agency must have given you the marriage certificate. To declare the facts on the day truthfully, I recommend you submit the photocopy of the marriage certificate to the BGV agency. However, whether to provide additional information on the ongoing process of annulment of marriage is your call. If you choose to declare, then there is no need to disclose whether the marriage is consummated or not. Just write "A case for annulment of marriage is in progress".
From the tone of your post, it appears that you are carrying the guilt about your unsuccessful marriage and the questions about your dysfunctional marriage with X have made you queasy. However, we are in 2025 and marital discords are no longer a taboo. They have gained social acceptance. Therefore, without being regretful, you may give a truthful declaration.
Lesson For the HR Professionals: - This post shows how a newly joined employee becomes anxious when the BGV team asks to submit additional or personal information but does provide reasons for it. When the employees are new in the company, they try to acclimatise to the new environment or the organisation's culture. Against this backdrop, HR professionals are expected to show empathy and they are expected to take such employees into confidence. While being effusive on topics like emotional intelligence, mental wellness, etc. on social media, they cannot allow a third-party team like the BGV team to pass the information impersonally. The lack of personal touch by HR and the stress it has given to the member as a spin-off is the cause of this post.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
7901Even though you declared voluntarily your relation with the 'X', even then also why the BGV team is interested in knowing relations with the X is not understood. The background checks are supposed to be restricted to professional activities and the BGV team should not have business in prying in your personal affairs.
Nevertheless, since you have a registered marriage, the relevant government agency must have given you the marriage certificate. To declare the facts on the day truthfully, I recommend you submit the photocopy of the marriage certificate to the BGV agency. However, whether to provide additional information on the ongoing process of annulment of marriage is your call. If you choose to declare, then there is no need to disclose whether the marriage is consummated or not. Just write "A case for annulment of marriage is in progress".
From the tone of your post, it appears that you are carrying the guilt about your unsuccessful marriage and the questions about your dysfunctional marriage with X have made you queasy. However, we are in 2025 and marital discords are no longer a taboo. They have gained social acceptance. Therefore, without being regretful, you may give a truthful declaration.
Lesson For the HR Professionals: - This post shows how a newly joined employee becomes anxious when the BGV team asks to submit additional or personal information but does provide reasons for it. When the employees are new in the company, they try to acclimatise to the new environment or the organisation's culture. Against this backdrop, HR professionals are expected to show empathy and they are expected to take such employees into confidence. While being effusive on topics like emotional intelligence, mental wellness, etc. on social media, they cannot allow a third-party team like the BGV team to pass the information impersonally. The lack of personal touch by HR and the stress it has given to the member as a spin-off is the cause of this post.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
HI Dinesh,
Thank you so much for your kind reply. After the job acceptance, they asked about my marital status and I said "Married" which I legally am. Thats all. They never asked for my Spouse's name and none of my submitted documents had my spouse's name in it. But after two weeks I got this email from a 3rd party BGV team asking this details with the specific name "X" mentioned in it. I just mentioned to the BGV that she is my legal spouse. At this stage, I have not declared that an annulment process is going on. I have attached the marriage certificate to the query email. If they ask further I will tell them.
Thank you for being compassionate. Yes, somehow I have that guilt and I am even more worried about whether it would affect my professional career. This is my first time experiencing such things and this is my first job. I am waiting for them to reply. I will post it here what happens next.
Thank you once again.
Thank you so much for your kind reply. After the job acceptance, they asked about my marital status and I said "Married" which I legally am. Thats all. They never asked for my Spouse's name and none of my submitted documents had my spouse's name in it. But after two weeks I got this email from a 3rd party BGV team asking this details with the specific name "X" mentioned in it. I just mentioned to the BGV that she is my legal spouse. At this stage, I have not declared that an annulment process is going on. I have attached the marriage certificate to the query email. If they ask further I will tell them.
Thank you for being compassionate. Yes, somehow I have that guilt and I am even more worried about whether it would affect my professional career. This is my first time experiencing such things and this is my first job. I am waiting for them to reply. I will post it here what happens next.
Thank you once again.
Dear member,
When the BGV team asked you to disclose the relation with X, I wish you had asked them how they could come to know the name of your spouse and why they need this information.
If you search for "privacy laws in India" on Google, you get adequate information about it. The Honourable Supreme Court has declared that the right to privacy is a fundamental right and why the BGV team wanted to violate it is not understood
Person none less than Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi has been living separately from his wife for more than four decades. Earlier he held an important constitutional office of Chief Minister. Now he is the Prime Minister of India. India is a free country and, it allows a person to become the Prime Minister even though his marriage is neither legally ended nor annulled.
Otherwise, look at a few other politicians. They have practised bigamy without any pretensions or kept concubines. A few have a live-in relationship. But Indians do not question their sleazy activities and allow them to become lawmakers! By raising questions unrelated to the profession, the BGV team has given one more proof of how India is a country of hypocrites!
The information you provided is sufficient and if the BGV team tries to be over-smart, it is high time for you to stop biting your nails. Be assertive, and firmly tell them they cannot be nosy.
For the HR Professionals: - I have mentioned the cause of this post in my previous reply. However, the second post of the poster brings out one more cause: how HR is unaware of the privacy laws or personal liberty in India. They need to understand where checking personal credentials ends during recruitment. Neither HR nor the BGV team can try to be moral police and introduce the checks as per their personal choice!
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
When the BGV team asked you to disclose the relation with X, I wish you had asked them how they could come to know the name of your spouse and why they need this information.
If you search for "privacy laws in India" on Google, you get adequate information about it. The Honourable Supreme Court has declared that the right to privacy is a fundamental right and why the BGV team wanted to violate it is not understood
Person none less than Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi has been living separately from his wife for more than four decades. Earlier he held an important constitutional office of Chief Minister. Now he is the Prime Minister of India. India is a free country and, it allows a person to become the Prime Minister even though his marriage is neither legally ended nor annulled.
Otherwise, look at a few other politicians. They have practised bigamy without any pretensions or kept concubines. A few have a live-in relationship. But Indians do not question their sleazy activities and allow them to become lawmakers! By raising questions unrelated to the profession, the BGV team has given one more proof of how India is a country of hypocrites!
The information you provided is sufficient and if the BGV team tries to be over-smart, it is high time for you to stop biting your nails. Be assertive, and firmly tell them they cannot be nosy.
For the HR Professionals: - I have mentioned the cause of this post in my previous reply. However, the second post of the poster brings out one more cause: how HR is unaware of the privacy laws or personal liberty in India. They need to understand where checking personal credentials ends during recruitment. Neither HR nor the BGV team can try to be moral police and introduce the checks as per their personal choice!
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
Hi,
I completely understand your concern. Here's some clarity:
Your personal relationship status generally has no bearing on your employment or the background verification (BGV) process unless your marital status is explicitly tied to your employment contract (which is very rare).
You have already acted appropriately by declaring your marital status truthfully as per the legal facts at the time. Since the annulment process is still ongoing, there’s no requirement for you to disclose this to your employer unless they specifically ask or unless it impacts your employment records.
For now, focus on your work without worrying. Once the annulment is finalized, you can update your personal records with the company if necessary, such as for nominee designations under EPF, gratuity, or other benefits.
You’re handling this the right way, so there’s no need to stress further.
From India, Bangalore
I completely understand your concern. Here's some clarity:
Your personal relationship status generally has no bearing on your employment or the background verification (BGV) process unless your marital status is explicitly tied to your employment contract (which is very rare).
You have already acted appropriately by declaring your marital status truthfully as per the legal facts at the time. Since the annulment process is still ongoing, there’s no requirement for you to disclose this to your employer unless they specifically ask or unless it impacts your employment records.
For now, focus on your work without worrying. Once the annulment is finalized, you can update your personal records with the company if necessary, such as for nominee designations under EPF, gratuity, or other benefits.
You’re handling this the right way, so there’s no need to stress further.
From India, Bangalore
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