Dinesh Divekar
Business Mentor, Consultant And Trainer

My manager asked me to draft an email for conducting the 2nd session of 6 months training. Below is the email I have drafted and would like to have suggestion on how to make this email impressive enough.
Dear All,
This is to inform you that in continuation to our previous training sessions conducted on (Date), we are pleased to announce schedule for the 2nd session of “Training name" by (Institute Name). As informed earlier, all 30 professionals who attended the previous session shall be continuing the same.
Details of the training will be provided below this content.
Thanks!!

From India, New Delhi
Dear Team,
This mail is in reference to previous training sessions conducted on (Date), we are pleased to announce schedule for the 2nd session of “Training name" by (Institute Name).
As informed earlier, all 30 participants who attended the previous session shall be continuing the same.
Details of the training will be provided below this content.
Thanks!!

From India, Bangalore
Dear Mini,
Rather than commenting on the draft that you have prepared, I would like to put forth an issue that has come in the wake of your post. Possibly, you were inadvertent when you raised the post.
It is customary for the Manager to ask his/her junior to come up with the draft of an email or a letter. However, after preparation of the draft, the junior is expected to put forth to his/her manager for vetting. Rather than doing this, you have deemed it fit to approach a general HR forum to correct the draft or make it further "impressive". Rather than approaching manager directly, you preferred routing your draft through citehr shows disconnect between you and your manager. Else, you may not have a sufficient belief on the manager on his/her drafting skills.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar

From India, Bangalore
Dear Dinesh,
First of all I would like to thank you for taking out time and sharing your input. Furthermore, I would like to apprise you that I always want to be impressive enough over the emails or calls. I asked for suggestions, so that I can have more good ideas for future on how to put the things ahead or other ways of circulating this email. Also, I have already shared the email draft with my manager for his review, however since there is always scope of improvement and learning so I thought to take advise from professionals on Citehr as one of the option.
Thanks & Regards!!
Mini Bisht

From India, New Delhi
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