I was contemplating to find out my weaknesses which disturb my mind. Lot of things came into my mind like anger, will power, decision making etc., but to my utter surprise I could find out two of the weaknesses after working on myself a lot. I am not over-ruling that anger; emotions do not overpower me at certain occasions. But the weakness, to which I placed at the top after continued study of mine, is ‘I cannot bear the criticism’. It is said criticism is our great Guru which teaches us a lot but in case while hearing the criticism me got irritated from inside or become defensive making it difficult to understand the finer points on which I need to work for peace, good relationship, man-management and success.
I observed number of times that it is all okay, am happy and all of a sudden a small criticism of the words I have spoken, or the action taken, effect negatively on my energy and focus. Though it is known not to bother the criticism, yet it affects me and upon the style of my working. It seems that criticism hijack my thoughts.
How this become my weakness? When I go to the past, I find that while growing at Chheharta, being elder child in the family and may be for other reasons, I was told by my parents and others through actions, words etc that I am intelligent and my words are right. This was perhaps because I continued pursuing my studies and remained in the good books. Secondly, when I came to Patiala to join the Bank, got married. Here, also enjoyed the same status. Mostly my words were/are valued in the family. Similar position remained in my office. I used to put up the paper before the management after studying all pros and cons, supported all my submissions with data or court ruling which were easily available on the net. And papers put up with supporting data, rulings etc. never attracted criticism.
Right from the beginning believed that people are lethargic and if I will be bit less lethargic than those it will do. Secondly, I believed the people do not make schedule of the next day and therefore, their mind remain stuck in the past things whole of the night in dreams or so on. But if a schedule of the next day is prepared your mind consciously or unconsciously works on the next day’s assignments during night making mind peaceful and prepared and helping in realizing the people that you mean.
Mostly, insecurity among the colleagues makes them to criticize your actions. Jealousy also makes the people to criticize. Why criticism? I find that beggar on the road or a fail person are not criticized. Only those are criticized who matters, who are leaders/managers. Perhaps the other criticizes such people to satisfy them for not being able to reach there. If you are leader/manager you are suppose to take tough decision at occasions to get the best results, and of course these will attract criticism. Just awareness of this fact lessens the negative effects of the criticism and I started learning to avoid such criticism. This attitude made me to write good CR of the person who used to criticize me, but was a good worker. This action of mine in turn made him a staunch supporter of mine, and I was able to put the Bank on HRMS well in a time, for which I got appreciations.
Criticizer start noticing the negatives only, resulting in criticism. Such persons may not be wrong all the time. Therefore, this idea made me to think differently if I am facing criticism. Right at the beginning when someone is criticizing, I try to make in minds the notes of the points raised and the action points needed. Thus, this attitude completely makes me a learner and my brain does not touch the negative effects. Secondly, this makes me think what is wrong? If it is the insecurity among the criticizer , then what I should do so that the other person desist from criticism in future and does not cause harm to my image.
It is clear that I am not a perfect person, so there will be a criticism on occasions for the better reasons and at that time, so that my ego is not hurt, I think myself as child and start considering the criticism for my improvement.