I am working in a Biometric Company in Bangalore as an HR Admin for 2 ½ years. I oversee HR and Admin activities across PAN India locations. Ten days ago, I mistakenly replied to an email to one of our employees without my manager's permission. This created a big issue, and she took me to the director. I apologized sincerely, and the director took it lightly, advising me not to repeat it. However, my manager has since taken all responsibilities away from me. She is not allowing me to do any work, behaving rudely in front of everyone, and insulting me on the floor.
As far as I am concerned, I should not raise complaints against my manager or go directly to the directors. However, the situation is worsening. She is unwilling to listen, and if I try to talk to her, she starts shouting loudly. Please suggest what I should do in this situation.
From India, Bangalore
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9As far as I am concerned, I should not raise complaints against my manager or go directly to the directors. However, the situation is worsening. She is unwilling to listen, and if I try to talk to her, she starts shouting loudly. Please suggest what I should do in this situation.
From India, Bangalore
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Please provide more information that would enable us to offer you appropriate suggestions:
1. What are your roles and responsibilities within the organization?
2. Can you describe your work relationship with your manager before this incident occurred?
3. Are you not permitted to respond to emails from employees?
4. What was mentioned in the email, and what was your response? Did you make a commitment regarding a raise or provide a comment, etc.?
5. When you mention that your manager is not allowing you to do anything, what specific duties are you currently performing?
6. Have any benefits that were previously given to you been revoked?
7. Is your manager upset with you solely because of one email, or have there been other incidents as well? How does she react when you attempt to discuss the situation with her?
Please provide additional details so we can better assist you.
From India, Vadodara
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1. What are your roles and responsibilities within the organization?
2. Can you describe your work relationship with your manager before this incident occurred?
3. Are you not permitted to respond to emails from employees?
4. What was mentioned in the email, and what was your response? Did you make a commitment regarding a raise or provide a comment, etc.?
5. When you mention that your manager is not allowing you to do anything, what specific duties are you currently performing?
6. Have any benefits that were previously given to you been revoked?
7. Is your manager upset with you solely because of one email, or have there been other incidents as well? How does she react when you attempt to discuss the situation with her?
Please provide additional details so we can better assist you.
From India, Vadodara
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Dear Swaati, I feel you should talk to your manager (in case she is ready to talk),else discuss it with her manager . Regards Kavita
From India, New Delhi
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From India, New Delhi
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Please call for a formal meeting with your manager and ask for directions with pointers. She is likely to react more. Give her a complete listening. Once she is done speaking, ask her what actions from your side will stop her from treating you like this. Tell her directly that her actions and words are going beyond your limits. Seek her assurance in building synergy in the environment.
After the meeting, email her all that you two have discussed and thank her for the meeting. If she continues to treat you badly, email it to her manager and seek her guidance to resolve this. But before that, ensure you haven't left any stone unturned.
If you have already tried my suggestion, you have no reason to wait. Find a mentor in your organization. Seek to develop yourself, not just with this situation, but in every manner.
From India, Mumbai
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After the meeting, email her all that you two have discussed and thank her for the meeting. If she continues to treat you badly, email it to her manager and seek her guidance to resolve this. But before that, ensure you haven't left any stone unturned.
If you have already tried my suggestion, you have no reason to wait. Find a mentor in your organization. Seek to develop yourself, not just with this situation, but in every manner.
From India, Mumbai
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Hi, thanks for your kind suggestion. Kindly have a look at the details:
Roles and Responsibilities
I look after joining and exit formalities, recruitment, salary account opening, dealing with vendors for stationery, coffee & tea, mobile bills, new mobile numbers, issuing appointment letters, ID cards, and maintaining Excel records for all these activities for PAN India locations. I have the authority to send emails to everyone.
Incident with Email
One of our old employees sent a goodbye email to us on his last working day. We were good colleagues, so he kept asking for my reply. By mistake, I wrote a casual comment (on what he wrote, not official) to him, and I clicked on "reply to all."
Manager's Reaction
In front of everybody, she is shouting at me. If any employee comes and asks me for anything, she scolds them too. She is working under the director only, with no other manager for her. I tried to talk to her and even called her for a meeting. I begged for apologies many times, but she kept on shouting and passing sarcastic remarks. Whenever I try to talk to her, all of a sudden, she shouts very badly.
Current Situation
I am simply coming and going back from the office. I am only updating myself and searching for new things that could enhance my knowledge. If any other information is required at my end, please ask!
Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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Roles and Responsibilities
I look after joining and exit formalities, recruitment, salary account opening, dealing with vendors for stationery, coffee & tea, mobile bills, new mobile numbers, issuing appointment letters, ID cards, and maintaining Excel records for all these activities for PAN India locations. I have the authority to send emails to everyone.
Incident with Email
One of our old employees sent a goodbye email to us on his last working day. We were good colleagues, so he kept asking for my reply. By mistake, I wrote a casual comment (on what he wrote, not official) to him, and I clicked on "reply to all."
Manager's Reaction
In front of everybody, she is shouting at me. If any employee comes and asks me for anything, she scolds them too. She is working under the director only, with no other manager for her. I tried to talk to her and even called her for a meeting. I begged for apologies many times, but she kept on shouting and passing sarcastic remarks. Whenever I try to talk to her, all of a sudden, she shouts very badly.
Current Situation
I am simply coming and going back from the office. I am only updating myself and searching for new things that could enhance my knowledge. If any other information is required at my end, please ask!
Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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In this situation, the best course of action is to speak with the Director in a polite manner (preferably when she is present) and inform her of the facts. It is important to remind her of the beginning of the incident and address her behavior. Otherwise, she may inform the Director, which could jeopardize your position.
Thank you,
V K Gupta
From India, Panipat
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Thank you,
V K Gupta
From India, Panipat
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I am not sure, but yes, I have seen this. My apologies if I am wrong. I am not trying to demotivate you, but I have seen such cases. Maybe your boss does not want you to continue with the organization; hence, she was finding the reason, and she got one. This is a very common practice; when the manager wants somebody to leave, they start insulting them in public for no reason.
Steps to Address the Situation
What you can do is look for another job. Once you get one, call a meeting with your boss and the director of the company. Do not complain about anything, but yes, put your foot down and tell everything to the director and resign.
Regards,
Monica
From India, Pune
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Steps to Address the Situation
What you can do is look for another job. Once you get one, call a meeting with your boss and the director of the company. Do not complain about anything, but yes, put your foot down and tell everything to the director and resign.
Regards,
Monica
From India, Pune
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So, an old employee sent a farewell email to all on his last working day. You replied to this, but by mistake, copied the reply to all. The first part is fine, in fact, most appropriate; however, the second part is a mistake, which you too admit. The Director, rightly, took it lightly and in good spirit and advised you not to repeat the mistake. The matter should have ended there. But your manager is taking this incident as an excuse to strip you of the responsibilities and make your existence redundant.
Understanding Workplace Dynamics
If you have studied "Games People Play," a book on Transactional Analysis by Dr. Eric Berne, during your MBA classes, you would have immediately noticed and recognized that your manager is playing the game of "NIGYSOB" - wherein the person, say A, stalks his or her victim, say B, and waits till the intended victim makes a mistake, whereupon A pounces on B and gets her pay-off.
http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/
So, she must have been waiting for this opportunity. You don't have to fall into despair and play the victim game of "Why does it always happen to me?" (WAHM). (Cite Contribution) and others have already suggested ways how you can fight back and beat her at her own game.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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Understanding Workplace Dynamics
If you have studied "Games People Play," a book on Transactional Analysis by Dr. Eric Berne, during your MBA classes, you would have immediately noticed and recognized that your manager is playing the game of "NIGYSOB" - wherein the person, say A, stalks his or her victim, say B, and waits till the intended victim makes a mistake, whereupon A pounces on B and gets her pay-off.
http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/
So, she must have been waiting for this opportunity. You don't have to fall into despair and play the victim game of "Why does it always happen to me?" (WAHM). (Cite Contribution) and others have already suggested ways how you can fight back and beat her at her own game.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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After reviewing the problem you have been facing, I suggest that you try looking for opportunities elsewhere. This recommendation stems from the fact that you must continue working with your current manager and are limited in your ability to address the issue further in this situation. Therefore, it would be advisable for you to start exploring new job prospects. I am confident that you will find a suitable job soon.
Stay positive and optimistic, and focus on the bright side. Remember, setbacks happen in work-life, but it is essential to persevere.
All the best, and don't get disheartened.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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Stay positive and optimistic, and focus on the bright side. Remember, setbacks happen in work-life, but it is essential to persevere.
All the best, and don't get disheartened.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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You have options enlisted in front of you. If you fear nothing will work or that even the director will not be able to bring any improvement in your situation, then call it quits! I see no point in continuing at your job by compromising on your respect. I, on a personal level, do not think that this is a huge issue. More so, because you have admitted your error and apologized too.
Many times, people having the authority tend to misuse their power by making the work environment terrible for the "chosen" one. Also, on an introspective note, do ponder if in the past your manager has been complaining or not satisfied with your performance? Or is there a trust issue between you two? As she would have found this is the best time where you could be easily nailed. Secondly, there is no guarantee that after this episode she would not silently hold grudges against you. On another mistake, there could be more serious reactions from her.
My colleagues and seniors here have guided you aptly!
1. Try speaking to her gently and ask for feedback.
2. If she is not ready, then you can always approach your director to intervene.
3. If none of your approaches are working, then leave the organization.
If you put up with her abusive/wrong behavior, then you yourself are permitting her to ill-treat you.
From India, Vadodara
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Many times, people having the authority tend to misuse their power by making the work environment terrible for the "chosen" one. Also, on an introspective note, do ponder if in the past your manager has been complaining or not satisfied with your performance? Or is there a trust issue between you two? As she would have found this is the best time where you could be easily nailed. Secondly, there is no guarantee that after this episode she would not silently hold grudges against you. On another mistake, there could be more serious reactions from her.
My colleagues and seniors here have guided you aptly!
1. Try speaking to her gently and ask for feedback.
2. If she is not ready, then you can always approach your director to intervene.
3. If none of your approaches are working, then leave the organization.
If you put up with her abusive/wrong behavior, then you yourself are permitting her to ill-treat you.
From India, Vadodara
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I would like to suggest that you start recording the conversations she has with you and also collect evidence about this behavior. Please record her behaviors from time to time without adding your remarks or opinions about her behavior. You could also record her voice whenever she shouts at you.
These facts and evidence will help you a lot to prove her incorrect behaviors and also to take legal action against her if the situation demands. Even when you have a discussion with your director, please present her recorded voice and other evidence before the director so that he also realizes that you are speaking based on facts and evidence.
Be firm with her on many things and in many ways without sounding uncooperative, rude, or arrogant. Even if you want to retaliate, do it by being polite and assertive. Please address her behaviors one step at a time.
Hope this helps.
From India, Mumbai
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These facts and evidence will help you a lot to prove her incorrect behaviors and also to take legal action against her if the situation demands. Even when you have a discussion with your director, please present her recorded voice and other evidence before the director so that he also realizes that you are speaking based on facts and evidence.
Be firm with her on many things and in many ways without sounding uncooperative, rude, or arrogant. Even if you want to retaliate, do it by being polite and assertive. Please address her behaviors one step at a time.
Hope this helps.
From India, Mumbai
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Thank you so much for your kind suggestions and precious time. Now, I am also thinking of switching. I would like to share a few more things. I have been observing for a long time that we always recruit candidates with low salaries. Recently, we have recruited a female in our team who is a fresher with a basic (very low) salary. My manager and she belong to the same community. She cannot ask for a high salary, and she can speak Kannada, Telugu, and Tamil languages, whereas I can speak only Hindi and English. My manager cannot speak proper Hindi, and she doesn't like to speak English; maybe this can be the strong reason behind her behavior. Because I have not made a single mistake before and initiated so many new things, she doesn't have any strong reason to terminate me or ask me to leave.
Well, I am very glad to have the motivation and support of you all.
Thank you very much.
Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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Well, I am very glad to have the motivation and support of you all.
Thank you very much.
Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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Don't worry, no reply to an email is wrong until it causes a compliance issue and damages the business. When you have a company email address, that is the approval given by the company that you can send emails and you are authorized to do so. Here, I fail to understand the severity of the damage caused by your unintentional mistake of replying. Two things:
1. Who was the person/employee to whom you replied?
2. What was your manager's relationship with the employee to whom you replied?
If you can find answers to these questions, I am sure you will come up with a solution. Moving out from the organization is a good option. However, what is the guarantee that the next boss you get will be a good one? What if life becomes more miserable? So, wait. You have been in the system for a long time now; 2.5 years is not a short time. Cool down, think, and find out the story behind the scenes of your manager's behavior.
It's always said that "Every dog has its day," and this is evident in our corporate world. So, wait for your turn, watch every step for some days, and everything should be back to normal in a few days.
The best part is that you are from HR, so take this as a conflict and decide which mode you want to use to resolve this (Flight, Fight, or Freeze).
All the best. Cheers.
From India, Chennai
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1. Who was the person/employee to whom you replied?
2. What was your manager's relationship with the employee to whom you replied?
If you can find answers to these questions, I am sure you will come up with a solution. Moving out from the organization is a good option. However, what is the guarantee that the next boss you get will be a good one? What if life becomes more miserable? So, wait. You have been in the system for a long time now; 2.5 years is not a short time. Cool down, think, and find out the story behind the scenes of your manager's behavior.
It's always said that "Every dog has its day," and this is evident in our corporate world. So, wait for your turn, watch every step for some days, and everything should be back to normal in a few days.
The best part is that you are from HR, so take this as a conflict and decide which mode you want to use to resolve this (Flight, Fight, or Freeze).
All the best. Cheers.
From India, Chennai
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Dear Swaati,
I had also faced a similar situation in two of my previous companies. At that time, I was not that experienced, so I couldn't handle the situation properly. Be smart and brave. You have to do two things:
1. Keep searching for a new job. However, finding a suitable job instantly is not easy. So, for a few days, you'll have to be patient and optimistic. Since these days you have ample time, if you have internet access at the office, try searching for jobs on job portals, LinkedIn, etc.
2. Try to do something innovative for Admin or maintain the old database. Show your innovation to the Director. During your meeting with the Director, you must say that you are sitting idle these days as you don't have any tasks assigned. When the Director asks you about the reason, then you open up, but very cleverly. Don't use too many negative words for your Manager. No complaints against the Manager, only show your interest in work and career growth. Then see what happens.
Do not endure harassment anywhere; be brave and act smart.
From India, New Delhi
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I had also faced a similar situation in two of my previous companies. At that time, I was not that experienced, so I couldn't handle the situation properly. Be smart and brave. You have to do two things:
1. Keep searching for a new job. However, finding a suitable job instantly is not easy. So, for a few days, you'll have to be patient and optimistic. Since these days you have ample time, if you have internet access at the office, try searching for jobs on job portals, LinkedIn, etc.
2. Try to do something innovative for Admin or maintain the old database. Show your innovation to the Director. During your meeting with the Director, you must say that you are sitting idle these days as you don't have any tasks assigned. When the Director asks you about the reason, then you open up, but very cleverly. Don't use too many negative words for your Manager. No complaints against the Manager, only show your interest in work and career growth. Then see what happens.
Do not endure harassment anywhere; be brave and act smart.
From India, New Delhi
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The best approach is to win their heart with peace. You need to find a way to ease her by acknowledging her good qualities. Don't be emotional; instead, use your intellect. Sometimes people need to lean towards goodness.
Write an apology email, keeping her higher authority in BCC, and mention the date from when you sent the wrong email until today.
Every time she screams at you, don't lower your head or say a word because everyone is watching you. If you do either of these, she will win because you have proven it through your actions.
As mentioned by someone on the thread, arrange a meeting with your director and your manager. When your director questions your manager and you, show what you have done from your side. You have proof that you were sorry for what happened via emails and personally, but there is no hope until today. It's becoming difficult to work.
After all, at the end of the day, the director will back up managers. However, he will surely warn her not to behave in such a way after you leave the room.
Good luck. As suggested by others, you can also look for another company, though I suggest not running away from problems. Solve the problems around you, and you will be successful lifelong.
Last word: "Never ever quit the company because your manager is not good"; quit only for your further growth.
All the very best.
From India, Bangalore
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Write an apology email, keeping her higher authority in BCC, and mention the date from when you sent the wrong email until today.
Every time she screams at you, don't lower your head or say a word because everyone is watching you. If you do either of these, she will win because you have proven it through your actions.
As mentioned by someone on the thread, arrange a meeting with your director and your manager. When your director questions your manager and you, show what you have done from your side. You have proof that you were sorry for what happened via emails and personally, but there is no hope until today. It's becoming difficult to work.
After all, at the end of the day, the director will back up managers. However, he will surely warn her not to behave in such a way after you leave the room.
Good luck. As suggested by others, you can also look for another company, though I suggest not running away from problems. Solve the problems around you, and you will be successful lifelong.
Last word: "Never ever quit the company because your manager is not good"; quit only for your further growth.
All the very best.
From India, Bangalore
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Today, I spoke to her again and received a very rude reply. I realized that the person is a director's relative and does not want anyone to question her actions. Whenever she makes a mistake, she blames me instead of admitting fault. This is the first time I have encountered such behavior in my entire career, and I regret it. As an HR professional, I should not have engaged in this situation, but it happened, and I cannot undo it. The person involved does not seem to have any issues with me as we were previously good colleagues, but she dislikes the director.
I am considering switching jobs as a last resort if things do not improve. I am baffled by her reaction and cannot comprehend why she is behaving this way. I can affirm to myself and all of you that I excel at my work; you could even call me a workaholic. No one can find any faults in my work. However, I do struggle with languages spoken in the southern region, which occasionally leads to miscommunication when English is not an option. She dislikes having to rely on others for communication in such instances, among other unprofessional behaviors. In my previous role at ICICI Bank, professionalism was highly valued, and I have maintained that standard. Yet, when I exhibit professionalism, she taunts me and accuses me of being over-smart.
Could you kindly provide me with your email address? I would like to share some specific incidents (which I cannot mention here) so you can offer better advice. I am not working solely for monetary gain or because of my education. My career is of utmost importance to me, and I have goals to achieve.
Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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I am considering switching jobs as a last resort if things do not improve. I am baffled by her reaction and cannot comprehend why she is behaving this way. I can affirm to myself and all of you that I excel at my work; you could even call me a workaholic. No one can find any faults in my work. However, I do struggle with languages spoken in the southern region, which occasionally leads to miscommunication when English is not an option. She dislikes having to rely on others for communication in such instances, among other unprofessional behaviors. In my previous role at ICICI Bank, professionalism was highly valued, and I have maintained that standard. Yet, when I exhibit professionalism, she taunts me and accuses me of being over-smart.
Could you kindly provide me with your email address? I would like to share some specific incidents (which I cannot mention here) so you can offer better advice. I am not working solely for monetary gain or because of my education. My career is of utmost importance to me, and I have goals to achieve.
Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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Director's relative... This is sufficient. She rules her department. It's not about the email that you sent. Stop thinking from the angle of your way of work and start thinking from a different perspective. By any chance, knowingly or unknowingly, did you hurt her emotions? If you think so, then your approach on the professional front will not work out. Ask her a direct question. By your luck, if she answers, make sure you remain silent and listen to her completely. Once she is finished, finally ask her what can be done from your side to be forgiven. This will be the last resort, or don't waste time and start looking for growth. All the best.
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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As you were told, your Director excused you and advised not to repeat the incident, which is also known to your Manager. I do not think this is the reason why your Manager is behaving towards you in this manner. You should try to find out.
Options to Consider
If there is no reason other than what you have mentioned, you have three options:
1. Report to your Director.
2. Be patient and continue, considering it as a part of professional life.
3. Begin searching for another opportunity.
The choice is entirely yours. It is not solely a matter of policy, procedure, or principle but depends on your personal approach to facing and resolving issues in your life.
From India
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Options to Consider
If there is no reason other than what you have mentioned, you have three options:
1. Report to your Director.
2. Be patient and continue, considering it as a part of professional life.
3. Begin searching for another opportunity.
The choice is entirely yours. It is not solely a matter of policy, procedure, or principle but depends on your personal approach to facing and resolving issues in your life.
From India
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Try and find a mutual friend whom will try and reconcile both of you. S/he might be your workmate or just somebody from outside. If that fails, you can ask for transfer to another department.
From India
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From India
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It has been observed that issues tend to arise more frequently when a girl's reporting authority belongs to the same gender as her boss. While this is not the case in every situation, it has been noted in many instances.
Consider Finding Another Job
I would suggest considering finding another job, especially since you mentioned that your boss reports to the Director. In this scenario, I do not believe that your issue will be resolved, as the Director is likely to favor your boss. Furthermore, even if the Director intervenes and advises your boss to be more composed, there is a possibility that your boss may take offense to this, potentially leading to future problems, especially during appraisals.
Stay Composed and Explore Opportunities
Therefore, my advice is not to react too strongly and to remain composed. I recommend exploring other job opportunities without discussing your job search with anyone in your current organization.
Kind regards
From India, Indore
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Consider Finding Another Job
I would suggest considering finding another job, especially since you mentioned that your boss reports to the Director. In this scenario, I do not believe that your issue will be resolved, as the Director is likely to favor your boss. Furthermore, even if the Director intervenes and advises your boss to be more composed, there is a possibility that your boss may take offense to this, potentially leading to future problems, especially during appraisals.
Stay Composed and Explore Opportunities
Therefore, my advice is not to react too strongly and to remain composed. I recommend exploring other job opportunities without discussing your job search with anyone in your current organization.
Kind regards
From India, Indore
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I am also thinking the same way you have suggested, but a little confusion is there as it's only been 2.5 years since I started working here. As far as I am concerned, it is not a long time, so will it be the right time to switch? Or will it affect my career? Do reply!
Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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Regards,
Swaati
From India, Bangalore
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Having gone through the entire correspondence (suggestions, etc.), I feel that you have to take two-pronged steps in the situation:
1. Approach the Director, explain the entire sequence of events, and also the behavior of your boss, seeking his guidance in the right earnest. In the process, please also express your apprehension very mildly about your boss coming down heavily on you after his intervention.
2. Start looking out for another job, even if it is at par or so.
Regards,
S.K. Johri
From India, Delhi
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1. Approach the Director, explain the entire sequence of events, and also the behavior of your boss, seeking his guidance in the right earnest. In the process, please also express your apprehension very mildly about your boss coming down heavily on you after his intervention.
2. Start looking out for another job, even if it is at par or so.
Regards,
S.K. Johri
From India, Delhi
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If you are planning for a move, then don't even open the issue with your director. You need to move out without any negative vibes. Once your director is involved, he would expect you to continue with the organization. However, by luck, if you get an opportunity in another company, then it will be difficult to complete your notice period and also to convince your manager to approve the resignation.
Job Search Strategy
2.5 years is more than sufficient to look forward. I keep browsing for HR positions and have come across many requirements on LinkedIn, Monster, and Naukri. Don't put down your papers and then start searching. Start searching and get the offer letter, and then quit.
Regards,
Radha Yermal
From India, Bangalore
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Job Search Strategy
2.5 years is more than sufficient to look forward. I keep browsing for HR positions and have come across many requirements on LinkedIn, Monster, and Naukri. Don't put down your papers and then start searching. Start searching and get the offer letter, and then quit.
Regards,
Radha Yermal
From India, Bangalore
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Well, in this situation, it is better to keep yourself calm, behave politely, and focus more on your work. There should be no mistakes because even a small error on your part can worsen the situation. Keep calm, focus on your work, and behave politely to everyone, including your manager, as if nothing has happened. As time passes, everything will be fine.
From India, Lucknow
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From India, Lucknow
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Madam, it appears from your write-up that there is some problem of interpersonal relations and a communication gap between you two. I suggest you sit with your manager and talk one-on-one. Definitely, your manager will come out with the problem to be resolved. You will find your manager will be more caring and will pass on the responsibilities once you win his or her trust.
Swatantar
From India, Pune
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Swatantar
From India, Pune
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Handling Difficult Managerial Situations
It is often said that employees do not leave organizations, but rather their managers. This seems to fit well here. As a senior person, your manager should counsel you and ensure you do not repeat such mistakes in the future. As my fellow professionals have pointed out, try your best to maintain cordial relations with her, keep a low profile for a few more weeks, and watch for any improvement in her attitude towards you.
In the meantime, look for a better job. Before accepting a new position, you can approach your senior management, i.e., the next superior (your boss's boss), and explain the sequence of events. Tell him/her that you have no choice but to leave the organization. Wait for a reaction or response, and accordingly, decide whether to continue or quit the job.
Best wishes.
From India, Bengaluru
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It is often said that employees do not leave organizations, but rather their managers. This seems to fit well here. As a senior person, your manager should counsel you and ensure you do not repeat such mistakes in the future. As my fellow professionals have pointed out, try your best to maintain cordial relations with her, keep a low profile for a few more weeks, and watch for any improvement in her attitude towards you.
In the meantime, look for a better job. Before accepting a new position, you can approach your senior management, i.e., the next superior (your boss's boss), and explain the sequence of events. Tell him/her that you have no choice but to leave the organization. Wait for a reaction or response, and accordingly, decide whether to continue or quit the job.
Best wishes.
From India, Bengaluru
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Some managers are egoistic and do not understand basic fundamentals. You have only two choices: take the matter to your director, explain what is happening, and ask for mediation and help, or consider looking for a change while continuing in the same organization.
Regards,
Rameshbala
From India, Hyderabad
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Regards,
Rameshbala
From India, Hyderabad
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In addition to my earlier posts, there are a few more points that I would like to share, and they should be taken into consideration pertaining to this topic:
1. The reaction also depends on the wording you have used in the email written by you.
2. You know the saying "DOOSRE KE KANDHE PE BANDOOK RAKH KE GOLI MAARNA"; sometimes it happens with managers as well. It might be possible that this has happened in your case.
3. Only because of that email, your manager has taken all responsibilities from you, which sounds somewhat inappropriate. There must have been some earlier issues between both of you, and now your manager has seized this opportunity. I am not saying that you have done something wrong earlier, but if you have, just learn from this.
4. Even if you can talk to the Director to resolve the issue, the possibility of the rise of your future in the same organization will be very less.
5. Don't ever leave any organization/seniors with negative feelings. I mean to say, when you leave this organization, never quarrel with anybody before or at the time of leaving. Somewhere/somehow it may create problems in your future.
I also agree with some of the members to take leave for a few days, etc., but the approvals for the leave are under the control of that manager with whom your time is not good. What if your manager refuses your leave? She (Manager) may create another issue regarding your leaves. If you have some misunderstandings, then a bad impression comes first in anybody's mind. So, as per my view, if you take leave for some days or so, then the difference between both of you may increase.
I agree with Ms. Radha, and 2.5 years is quite sufficient to look forward. Stay calm, keep watching for other job opportunities without informing any of your office colleagues at all. You can share the same with your family members and friends but not in your organization at all. In the meantime, try to be good with everyone on the staff, especially with your manager and other seniors.
I would request senior members here to correct/guide me on my views.
Regards,
Anurag
From India, Indore
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1. The reaction also depends on the wording you have used in the email written by you.
2. You know the saying "DOOSRE KE KANDHE PE BANDOOK RAKH KE GOLI MAARNA"; sometimes it happens with managers as well. It might be possible that this has happened in your case.
3. Only because of that email, your manager has taken all responsibilities from you, which sounds somewhat inappropriate. There must have been some earlier issues between both of you, and now your manager has seized this opportunity. I am not saying that you have done something wrong earlier, but if you have, just learn from this.
4. Even if you can talk to the Director to resolve the issue, the possibility of the rise of your future in the same organization will be very less.
5. Don't ever leave any organization/seniors with negative feelings. I mean to say, when you leave this organization, never quarrel with anybody before or at the time of leaving. Somewhere/somehow it may create problems in your future.
I also agree with some of the members to take leave for a few days, etc., but the approvals for the leave are under the control of that manager with whom your time is not good. What if your manager refuses your leave? She (Manager) may create another issue regarding your leaves. If you have some misunderstandings, then a bad impression comes first in anybody's mind. So, as per my view, if you take leave for some days or so, then the difference between both of you may increase.
I agree with Ms. Radha, and 2.5 years is quite sufficient to look forward. Stay calm, keep watching for other job opportunities without informing any of your office colleagues at all. You can share the same with your family members and friends but not in your organization at all. In the meantime, try to be good with everyone on the staff, especially with your manager and other seniors.
I would request senior members here to correct/guide me on my views.
Regards,
Anurag
From India, Indore
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I think you have received some valuable suggestions now. But let me tell you, as a woman, you have to be bold and beautiful while working in industries, particularly in the HR field. I suggest you have the courage to take action in a diplomatic way. You can start by recording conversations between you and your boss to have proof of your boss's behavior. Then, you can report directly to your director, bypassing your boss, and show your boss that you also have courage. This is something you can only do when you are not afraid of termination or if you are considering switching jobs.
Additionally, you can look for another job while still working in your current organization. Swati, remember that in the industry, these kinds of problems are part and parcel. You have to accept them, but that doesn't mean you should lose your courage, as you may become a department head one day. So, if the person in front of you is polite, you must be doubly polite. If the person is abusive, and she is your boss, as an HR person, you should think in a diplomatic way to handle the situation.
Swati, if you have problems at work, you will never be satisfied with your work. It's better to consider switching, but not out of cowardice, rather with courage.
If you need any help, you can email me at [Email Removed For Privacy Reasons].
Regards.
From India, Surat
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Additionally, you can look for another job while still working in your current organization. Swati, remember that in the industry, these kinds of problems are part and parcel. You have to accept them, but that doesn't mean you should lose your courage, as you may become a department head one day. So, if the person in front of you is polite, you must be doubly polite. If the person is abusive, and she is your boss, as an HR person, you should think in a diplomatic way to handle the situation.
Swati, if you have problems at work, you will never be satisfied with your work. It's better to consider switching, but not out of cowardice, rather with courage.
If you need any help, you can email me at [Email Removed For Privacy Reasons].
Regards.
From India, Surat
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Dear Swati, All the suggestions are good enough all you can do is to find out the exact reason by discussion or leave the job once you’ll get another. Regards Parul
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Navigating Workplace Challenges: Ego and Communication
It is now a question of ego satisfaction. Explore your options. Who is your manager close to? Talk to them about how you need to approach her and what she wants. Talking to her repeatedly for apologies may backfire, as sometimes this doesn't satisfy the other's ego. I had a similar experience with email, but I sent a follow-up email to everyone retracting the earlier one (symbolically). It helped a little; maybe wait silently as sometimes time is the greatest healer.
Regards,
Pankaj
From India, Moradabad
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It is now a question of ego satisfaction. Explore your options. Who is your manager close to? Talk to them about how you need to approach her and what she wants. Talking to her repeatedly for apologies may backfire, as sometimes this doesn't satisfy the other's ego. I had a similar experience with email, but I sent a follow-up email to everyone retracting the earlier one (symbolically). It helped a little; maybe wait silently as sometimes time is the greatest healer.
Regards,
Pankaj
From India, Moradabad
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First, I appreciate your bravery. Recently, a similar incident happened to me. I know my weaknesses and my strong points. I stick to my ethics and my responsibilities; however, due to my manager's misbehavior, I had to leave my job. I have found a better opportunity now, and I am in a very good position after just six months. Last week, I visited my previous company and found that my senior's position is in a precarious situation. He is not receiving any respect from the staff and management. Therefore, I advise you to change your job and prove yourself.
From India, Rajkot
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From India, Rajkot
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Everyone makes mistakes. You have not done anything majorly wrong, so have confidence. Never lose your self-respect and self-confidence. As someone already mentioned, try to speak to her directly to understand why she is treating you this way. If she doesn't respond well, you can definitely speak to your director immediately. Please note, once you express your desire to speak to her directly, it will serve as a warning to her that you are not someone to be taken advantage of, and she cannot keep bullying you.
Never ever lose your self-respect. Don't let such people satisfy their ego at your expense.
Regards,
Yamini
From India, Chennai
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Never ever lose your self-respect. Don't let such people satisfy their ego at your expense.
Regards,
Yamini
From India, Chennai
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Please get it sorted out with the Director or whichever senior person in your organization before she gets you fired from the organization, pointing to the previous occurrence. I think your manager is more egoistic and becoming more aggressive. This is a serious matter.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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I feel you should go to your Director in this situation. Our immediate supervisors are like our gurus. We share everything with them, at least during our entry-level work. If the managers are not allowing us to clarify the issue, then what is the use of being the guru? I think your manager is making it a little personal, which should not happen. Even I get scolded by my manager for not doing work properly. She will make me understand properly, so in this case, I don't need to go to the director or any other management person.
Thanks!!!
From India, Pune
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Thanks!!!
From India, Pune
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Handling Workplace Conflicts: Strategies for HR Professionals
1. To err is human. If your manager is not admitting this despite your apologies, you are advised to keep silent. The day will come when she will feel overburdened with work.
2. One thing goes in your favor: your director has taken it lightly. Keep hunting for a new job. Try not to let her find another fault of yours until you secure a new job. If she does not want to speak to you, do not beg repeatedly for work. One day, she herself will assign you a task.
3. If you are willing to take a risk, gather your courage, approach the director, and address the situation fearlessly without worrying about the outcome. I have worked in the corporate world for 25 years. I have successfully navigated similar situations many times using one of the methods mentioned above.
From India, Kharar
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1. To err is human. If your manager is not admitting this despite your apologies, you are advised to keep silent. The day will come when she will feel overburdened with work.
2. One thing goes in your favor: your director has taken it lightly. Keep hunting for a new job. Try not to let her find another fault of yours until you secure a new job. If she does not want to speak to you, do not beg repeatedly for work. One day, she herself will assign you a task.
3. If you are willing to take a risk, gather your courage, approach the director, and address the situation fearlessly without worrying about the outcome. I have worked in the corporate world for 25 years. I have successfully navigated similar situations many times using one of the methods mentioned above.
From India, Kharar
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First of all, this is the first thread I have read with more than 1300 views. Most of the points are already covered in this thread by seniors. My suggestion for the course of action, if not already pursued, would be:
Steps to Address the Situation
First, you should write an apology email to your manager, CC your director on that email, and wait for at least 24 hours or more to receive any response. If you don't receive any response, flip the recipient of that email to the Director and CC the manager again; wait for 24 hours or more to receive any response.
If there is still no response, send an email to both of them. If you still don't get any response, file a hotline complaint or go to the grievance cell and lodge your complaint with them.
I assume that you would get some sort of response.
Handling Professional Criticism
As mentioned, it's up to you to fight, flight, or freeze. If the situation still persists, it would be intelligent of you to file a mental harassment case against them.
As per your mentioning that someone tells you when you behave professionally to be oversmart, there are people who cannot perform work professionally, and when they see others doing it effortlessly, they would always make cheap comments. You should be happy about it as this shows that you are doing your job with perfection and those are the critics that every successful professional has to deal with.
Thanks,
Regards
From Netherlands, Group
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Steps to Address the Situation
First, you should write an apology email to your manager, CC your director on that email, and wait for at least 24 hours or more to receive any response. If you don't receive any response, flip the recipient of that email to the Director and CC the manager again; wait for 24 hours or more to receive any response.
If there is still no response, send an email to both of them. If you still don't get any response, file a hotline complaint or go to the grievance cell and lodge your complaint with them.
I assume that you would get some sort of response.
Handling Professional Criticism
As mentioned, it's up to you to fight, flight, or freeze. If the situation still persists, it would be intelligent of you to file a mental harassment case against them.
As per your mentioning that someone tells you when you behave professionally to be oversmart, there are people who cannot perform work professionally, and when they see others doing it effortlessly, they would always make cheap comments. You should be happy about it as this shows that you are doing your job with perfection and those are the critics that every successful professional has to deal with.
Thanks,
Regards
From Netherlands, Group
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Options for Handling Managerial Conflict
This is the case where you have two options. The first is to continue suffering under your manager, and the second is to consider choosing a new job.
It is very clear that you have made a mistake unintentionally and your manager is overreacting to it. Every superior shows anger when your mistakes are affecting them. If this has happened, you should try to show respect to him/her.
A capable employee never makes decisions hastily or in a negative manner. You should decide whether to continue working with your current manager by changing your perspective about them, or to seek opportunities elsewhere. However, are you certain you will find a more favorable manager in another company?
I suggest you continue working at the same company, fulfilling your duties as usual, but pay attention to everything you are learning from your manager's behavior.
Best regards,
Jas
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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This is the case where you have two options. The first is to continue suffering under your manager, and the second is to consider choosing a new job.
It is very clear that you have made a mistake unintentionally and your manager is overreacting to it. Every superior shows anger when your mistakes are affecting them. If this has happened, you should try to show respect to him/her.
A capable employee never makes decisions hastily or in a negative manner. You should decide whether to continue working with your current manager by changing your perspective about them, or to seek opportunities elsewhere. However, are you certain you will find a more favorable manager in another company?
I suggest you continue working at the same company, fulfilling your duties as usual, but pay attention to everything you are learning from your manager's behavior.
Best regards,
Jas
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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I have read all the above-mentioned comments, and here is my comment:
Firstly, working under someone else does not mean tolerating insults. Be professional; in this case, your manager does not have control over you. What matters is your director.
If you believe there was no confidential matter in the email, there is no point in creating unnecessary conflict. Be precise and to the point.
There is no need to beg, at least not for something your manager wants and you comply with. You would be feeding her ego, and she enjoys that.
Stop doing this; focus on your work and avoid her. Your colleagues and your director know your work, so be content with that.
Arrange a meeting with your director; no one can stop you from doing so. Clearly state that you would resign if things continue in this manner.
With your considerable experience, the HR field offers vast opportunities. Explore and enjoy your career; do not allow anyone to criticize you.
Regards,
Shreya Parikh
(HR)
From India, Pune
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Firstly, working under someone else does not mean tolerating insults. Be professional; in this case, your manager does not have control over you. What matters is your director.
If you believe there was no confidential matter in the email, there is no point in creating unnecessary conflict. Be precise and to the point.
There is no need to beg, at least not for something your manager wants and you comply with. You would be feeding her ego, and she enjoys that.
Stop doing this; focus on your work and avoid her. Your colleagues and your director know your work, so be content with that.
Arrange a meeting with your director; no one can stop you from doing so. Clearly state that you would resign if things continue in this manner.
With your considerable experience, the HR field offers vast opportunities. Explore and enjoy your career; do not allow anyone to criticize you.
Regards,
Shreya Parikh
(HR)
From India, Pune
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I can understand and feel your situation because I have faced the same issues with my boss during my first employment. There are a few seniors who always show a certain character, especially towards the reporting personnel. These people have an attitude of self-dominance. They want to dominate the office premises. If anyone comes up to their level, especially juniors, they will definitely try to assert their superiority.
Be patient and start looking for a change. Remain calm, and it's better to stay away from your boss until you secure a new job.
Regards,
Selva
From India, Chennai
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Be patient and start looking for a change. Remain calm, and it's better to stay away from your boss until you secure a new job.
Regards,
Selva
From India, Chennai
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Hi Swathi, I have been following your posts for many days. Could you please let us know what steps you have taken and if there have been any changes in your work environment? Did CiteHR help you in implementing these changes? Looking forward to your comments.
Regards,
Radha Yermal
From India, Bangalore
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Regards,
Radha Yermal
From India, Bangalore
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Firstly, just think, was she the same before? If yes, maybe you can discuss it with the next level. If no, then probably you will have to give her some time to cool down, as the mistake might be very severe, or she might be worried that you may continue the same if she is not correcting you. Let her gain the confidence that you will not repeat the same and will prove to be a real support to her.
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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When you are not comfortable with your manager, consider looking for a job change. You may be able to coordinate with your subordinates, but you cannot expect the same from your manager.
All the best.
Regards,
Karthikeyan K.
From India, Bangalore
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All the best.
Regards,
Karthikeyan K.
From India, Bangalore
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I feel that (Cite Contribution) has given you good advice. If you have attempted a formal meeting but were unsuccessful, put everything in an email to her about what you wanted to discuss. If things don't improve further, send an email to the director or talk to him, making him understand that the incident was not intentional and explaining what you are going through. The email sent to your manager may be used as a reference if required to prove that you tried all means to sort out the situation.
It seems obvious that your manager wants you to quit; one reason may be that you are performing well, and she is not taking it positively.
I feel you should not quit without expressing your point. In both scenarios, you may have to quit, but if you communicate your concerns with the appropriate people, there are chances that things will get sorted out.
If you quit abruptly, it may affect your confidence in future endeavors. However, if you have to quit after making all possible efforts, you can and should continue in this company or any other company with confidence. Later, you should not regret that you did not do what you should have done.
Best of luck.
From India, Thana
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It seems obvious that your manager wants you to quit; one reason may be that you are performing well, and she is not taking it positively.
I feel you should not quit without expressing your point. In both scenarios, you may have to quit, but if you communicate your concerns with the appropriate people, there are chances that things will get sorted out.
If you quit abruptly, it may affect your confidence in future endeavors. However, if you have to quit after making all possible efforts, you can and should continue in this company or any other company with confidence. Later, you should not regret that you did not do what you should have done.
Best of luck.
From India, Thana
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In today's world, people in organizations often express their personal emotions and anger towards others (e.g., manager to subordinate), but not vice versa. As I read through all the replies to your topic, they have rightly suggested that such situations are common in work life. It's better to learn from mistakes and avoid repeating them. Being part of the HR department or an HR professional is a very responsible job. So, don't worry about these stepping stones and move forward towards your goal!
Regards,
Rajeev
Manager - HR
From India, Chennai
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Regards,
Rajeev
Manager - HR
From India, Chennai
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Regarding your issue, I also went through the same kind of situation with my last manager, but I dealt with it. If she is not giving you any work, you should not take it seriously. You should start ignoring her, but very smartly. She should feel that her behavior is not causing you disturbance. She will feel more annoyed and all. After that, her true picture will automatically come to your director's knowledge. Meanwhile, search for another job. But you should face the situation smartly first.
Thanks
From India, Chennai
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Thanks
From India, Chennai
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I have gone through your problem. It seems that something you commented in the reply email may have tarnished your manager's image in front of other managers, or it could have affected the relationship between your manager and the ex-employee due to your comments. You are the only one who knows the content of your comments and how seriously they have impacted your professional life. In my opinion, you should now remain quiet, observe your manager's actions, and refrain from reacting. This situation will eventually pass. You need to control any loose talk against your manager. If you realize you made a mistake, be prepared to face the consequences. Do not resign from your position until you secure a better job. During this time, you can focus on completing pending work or collecting data that will benefit you in the future. Stay positive; if you are not at fault, your manager may eventually acknowledge her mistake, and things will return to normal.
Everyone seeks shelter during a storm, but only the eagle soars high above the clouds in the rain. Therefore, be courageous and dare to fly above the challenges.
Regards,
Kishor
From India, Pune
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Everyone seeks shelter during a storm, but only the eagle soars high above the clouds in the rain. Therefore, be courageous and dare to fly above the challenges.
Regards,
Kishor
From India, Pune
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Dear Swati, all of us face difficult situations in our professional lives. Though you are hurt at the moment, do not allow this trivial incident to disturb your life. The best course of action will be to stay put. Though you are willing to be occupied, your manager is not reciprocating. So just stick to your present duties; this phase will pass. Changing jobs at this point in time to escape the situation will not help. If you are looking for career advancement, learn all you can in your present role and look for better openings here or elsewhere.
All the best
From India, Mumbai
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All the best
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Swati,
What I understand is that the ego of your manager has been hurt, and she is not able to adjust with it. She is reacting immaturely. Thus, you need to put serious efforts to patch up with her ego through a mediator to have a healthy working environment.
Suresh Chand
From India, Pune
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What I understand is that the ego of your manager has been hurt, and she is not able to adjust with it. She is reacting immaturely. Thus, you need to put serious efforts to patch up with her ego through a mediator to have a healthy working environment.
Suresh Chand
From India, Pune
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