Amol Karmalkar
2

Excellent as usual Sindhu :-P contribution from my side.........

After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: "
WE
do have an... opening for you..! "
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"



Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I
ever loved.!"
Girl: That's good, Give me 12 of them..!


Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man
cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!


What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your
exams..!


Employee: Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the
company!


Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that, One loves too much, And the other
loves too many....!


Regards
AK

From India, Thana
shrutiarjun
5

Shukriya Amol and Ashu:)

Amol.........all jokes:-D are hilarious particularly ......whatt an explanation of Fear:icon6:

Oye...Viru...no contribution:-x:-D

Ok time for Some more :icon6::icon6:

Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin. :huh:
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!:icon6:






Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY? :confused:

Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".




Santa was writing something very slowly.
Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"

Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.":huh::-D



Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with. :huh:

A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died. :confused:

Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.:huh::?:

'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.:shock::-D


From India, Delhi
Amol Karmalkar
2

Thanks Sindhu :-P
Boy said to Girl - Aa mere dil me aaja
Girl replied- Chappal utaroo kya?

Boy- Chal paagli ye koi mandir thode hi h aise hi aaja :-D
.................................................. ...........................................
Teacher:what do you call person who cannot hear anything
Student:you can call him any thing,because he cannot hear anything... :icon6:
.................................................. .....................
Baap: beta mene tumhare liye ek ladki dhundhi hai
wo roopvati, gunvati aur sarasvati hai..
Beta: lekin me kisi aur ladki se pyaar karta hu
aur wo GARBHVATI hai.. :-D :-D
Regards
AK

From India, Thana
shrutiarjun
5

:-Dkya Jokewas hai Amol:-P
Ok...now time for more:-D
Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.:icon6:



Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!:-D




Santa ki chatri me hole tha
kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Santa bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.:icon6:




Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac rupaye plastic surgery k liye diye the,

ab usey pehchan nahin pa raha:-D:icon6::icon6:

From India, Delhi
Amol Karmalkar
2

Shukriya Sindhu :-P

Nice jokes Sindhu :lol: , seems you have collection of S & B jokes

Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law! ;-)


Regards
AK

From India, Thana
Shah Viral
1

New Members........Welcome to you all...........kyou bhai Amol.....Sindhu Di.........naye logo ki khatirdari karna bhool gaye kya..........?:twisted::twisted:
Waise Di............aapko pata he humara contribution toh humesha se kam hi rehta he.......hum toh sirf sunne walo me se he...............:icon3::icon3:
Amol & Di..................Really nice and new jokes............ meri entry aise kabhi kabhi hoti rahegi........... chalo ek joke humse bhi suno.............sorry............padho.....
EK.......
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JOKE...............:mrgreen::mrgreen:

From India, Bombay
shrutiarjun
5

Hii....Friends...Good Morning:p

Shukriya Amol and Viru....:pya Amol...abhi Stock aur hai8-)

Viru...kya Style hai.....hmmm Host ko Guest ka Swagat karna chahiye Samjhey...Anyways...I Welcome all new comers and infact invite many more friends to come and contribute...ha ha:mrgreen::p

Hmm Viru...You mean to say you will give Guest Appearance ...yeh baat kuch jami nahi:icon3:..........Aur wah wah kya Joke mara hai:twisted:



Koi gal nahi...Sabki Khatir daari keliye...kuch aur jokes from my side:p



Why did Santa sleep with a scale?:-?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept:wacko:.



Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.:roll:
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.:unsure:





Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?:-?


Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.:twisted:
Santa: Phir? :roll:

Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !:mrgreen::icon6:





Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?:icon14:
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..! 8)8)




From India, Delhi
shrutiarjun
5

Yuhoooo......Friends..............where are U?:-?



Time for some more Jokes:p

This time its....Comedy;) with Horror:shock:....Casting: of course Santa Singh

:mellow:There was this case in the hospital`s Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11 A.M., :cry:regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled :-?the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. :shock:
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.:-|:-?

A worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 A.M., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.:confused:Some were holding prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.:evil:
Just when the clock struck 11 :ph34r::icon14:


Santa, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner. :shock:;):p:-D:-D

From India, Delhi
shrutiarjun
5

Welcome :icon1::icon1:dear Swetha.....you can also contribute some Jokes

Ok...let me contribute some more:-P:-D



Smartest Salesman:p

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.
The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind man.:-?
The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.:ph34r:
The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to Banta.:sleep:
The other two said, so what?:-?:icon14:
The third salesman added, "Along with the Cuckoo clock, I also sold him fifty kgs of bird seeds!!!!!" :shock:;)


From India, Delhi
Amol Karmalkar
2

Gr8 salesman Sindhu :icon6:

Brain ka opreation
Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.

Ek admi ne pocha kya hua?
Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai
sala brain ka opreation karwane aata hai

aur baal katwa k chala jata hai :-D

************ ********* ********* *******


Ek pagal roz apne kitchen main jata,
sugar box kholta aur band kar deta,
Why?
Because Dr. Ne jo kaha tha k apni sugar roz check karna :confused:

Regards
AK

From India, Thana
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