Today, as I was walking into the office (I am the HR person of this location), my boss made a comment about how I have been coming dressed colorful and how he wants to give me the title of Khushboo of our office (a fat heroine, I am also a plump person). Then, one other guy said he thinks Jayalalitha suits better.
I told this to my vertical head, and she said to confront them and tell them that they should not make any such comments in the future. She also said that she will report the matter to our head.
My fiancé, after hearing this, feels that I have to mail them or react strongly. I feel so angry, and my self-esteem is at an all-time low. Should I message them? Mail them? Talk to them directly?
Acknowledge(0)
Amend(0)
8I told this to my vertical head, and she said to confront them and tell them that they should not make any such comments in the future. She also said that she will report the matter to our head.
My fiancé, after hearing this, feels that I have to mail them or react strongly. I feel so angry, and my self-esteem is at an all-time low. Should I message them? Mail them? Talk to them directly?
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Really looking forward to the senior members of the community to help with this situation
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi,
It is really a nasty and dishonest comment on the colleague. No one should spare this by just looking at them in great anger. Being a boss to an HR official, he shouldn't pass those comments that easily.
My suggestion for you is to report this to your higher authority through an email. Also, you should demand an apology. Your management should issue a warning letter to those people and also a show-cause notice.
Regards,
Ravichandra Paanem
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
It is really a nasty and dishonest comment on the colleague. No one should spare this by just looking at them in great anger. Being a boss to an HR official, he shouldn't pass those comments that easily.
My suggestion for you is to report this to your higher authority through an email. Also, you should demand an apology. Your management should issue a warning letter to those people and also a show-cause notice.
Regards,
Ravichandra Paanem
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi, I understand your situation, Please address your company management through Email communication yet if any further action has not started.
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Your vertical head is correct; you should have confronted it at the very moment. You should address your agony to your higher management through an official email. Since you are in HR, also seek their help/advice to curb such nuisance of passing lewd comments and making the atmosphere ugly. Please also refer if you have any policy in this regard. If you do, you can issue a show cause notice asking for an explanation for such misconduct.
From India, Ahmadabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Ahmadabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
As of now, I think your vertical head can issue an oblique "sensitization" notice for all. The wise will get a hint. If it continues, you may resort to more forthright measures suggested above.
While your feeling low is understandable, sometimes people are just not aware if their comments hurt. So have a confrontation only if required.
From United States, New York
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
While your feeling low is understandable, sometimes people are just not aware if their comments hurt. So have a confrontation only if required.
From United States, New York
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hello all,
Thank you for your valuable comments.
I would like to write here about how I dealt with the situation, which may be right or wrong, but I still want to post it here.
After a whole day of contemplation, I decided that I just had to have a decent, non-emotional confrontation with my boss. I went to his cabin and told him I needed to talk to him about the comment he made. He was defensive and said it was a harmless comment and his usual way of communication. I told him clearly:
1. That, in your understanding, it is harmless, but for the person on the receiving end, it could be perceived differently.
2. You being in a leadership position, if you resort to this, it sets a bad example for the rest, and their comments could be lewder than yours.
(Then he was like 'good point' in a very patronizing way.)
3. I also told him that if he thinks it's so harmless, he should try making the same comment to another woman and gauge the reaction (Unnecessary statement).
Initially, he refused to apologize, staring at me as if to say, "You've made your point; you can leave." However, when I made these points, he said, "I apologize if I have hurt you." I am quite appalled that he did not even realize the inappropriate nature of his comment.
As for the second individual, I could not confront him because he speaks only the local language, and I was concerned that I might not be able to convey my message accurately. So, I wrote him a simple email stating, "I would appreciate it if you refrain from making personal comments about me, like the one you made this morning," to which he responded with 'Sorry.'
Following Mr. Hardeep's advice, sensitization would be my next step. Meanwhile, I have reported this incident to my senior, and she has informed the Head of HR. I am grateful for all the responses. There was a part of me that doubted if I was making a mountain out of a molehill, but the replies here gave me the courage to move forward.
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Thank you for your valuable comments.
I would like to write here about how I dealt with the situation, which may be right or wrong, but I still want to post it here.
After a whole day of contemplation, I decided that I just had to have a decent, non-emotional confrontation with my boss. I went to his cabin and told him I needed to talk to him about the comment he made. He was defensive and said it was a harmless comment and his usual way of communication. I told him clearly:
1. That, in your understanding, it is harmless, but for the person on the receiving end, it could be perceived differently.
2. You being in a leadership position, if you resort to this, it sets a bad example for the rest, and their comments could be lewder than yours.
(Then he was like 'good point' in a very patronizing way.)
3. I also told him that if he thinks it's so harmless, he should try making the same comment to another woman and gauge the reaction (Unnecessary statement).
Initially, he refused to apologize, staring at me as if to say, "You've made your point; you can leave." However, when I made these points, he said, "I apologize if I have hurt you." I am quite appalled that he did not even realize the inappropriate nature of his comment.
As for the second individual, I could not confront him because he speaks only the local language, and I was concerned that I might not be able to convey my message accurately. So, I wrote him a simple email stating, "I would appreciate it if you refrain from making personal comments about me, like the one you made this morning," to which he responded with 'Sorry.'
Following Mr. Hardeep's advice, sensitization would be my next step. Meanwhile, I have reported this incident to my senior, and she has informed the Head of HR. I am grateful for all the responses. There was a part of me that doubted if I was making a mountain out of a molehill, but the replies here gave me the courage to move forward.
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Well done, Anonymous. Your actions were well in keeping with the severity of the situation, without blowing it up. It is good to not let people get away with such comments while at the same time not blowing it out of proportion. So kudos to you.
Regards,
Gokul
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Regards,
Gokul
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I would suggest registering a complaint against them online.
First of all, send a written email about the incident to your supervisor. You should have something in writing against them. Also, you need to see if they did so in a friendly manner. If that is the case, I would say it's fine. But if they were making fun of you, you should seriously take strict action against them.
Mobile Postpaid Discount - Flat 10% discount on 9th October 2014 Mobile Postpaid Discount - Flat 10% discount on 8th October 2014 | Mobile DTH Recharge Discount <link updated to site home> ( Search On Cite | Search On Google )
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
First of all, send a written email about the incident to your supervisor. You should have something in writing against them. Also, you need to see if they did so in a friendly manner. If that is the case, I would say it's fine. But if they were making fun of you, you should seriously take strict action against them.
Mobile Postpaid Discount - Flat 10% discount on 9th October 2014 Mobile Postpaid Discount - Flat 10% discount on 8th October 2014 | Mobile DTH Recharge Discount <link updated to site home> ( Search On Cite | Search On Google )
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear friend,
I share your emotions. But I have to caution you that you shouldn't end up as a 'laughingstock' when you adopt a confrontational attitude. What will you do when your colleagues giggle behind your back as you pass by or in your absence? Such occurrences are common in families, workplaces, and in public settings. It's not feasible to pick quarrels with every individual engaging in such behavior.
I recommend that you try to enjoy the atmosphere in a lighthearted manner. Perhaps, if you are still concerned, have a one-on-one conversation with those involved and kindly ask them to refrain from referring to you in a derogatory manner, as it hurts your feelings. I believe many of them would understand and stop. For those who persist, it may be best to ignore them rather than engage in confrontation.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and consider working on reducing your weight, as this may naturally eliminate such references and earn you appreciation from everyone. How are your family members and other friends responding to this situation? Are they supportive?
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I share your emotions. But I have to caution you that you shouldn't end up as a 'laughingstock' when you adopt a confrontational attitude. What will you do when your colleagues giggle behind your back as you pass by or in your absence? Such occurrences are common in families, workplaces, and in public settings. It's not feasible to pick quarrels with every individual engaging in such behavior.
I recommend that you try to enjoy the atmosphere in a lighthearted manner. Perhaps, if you are still concerned, have a one-on-one conversation with those involved and kindly ask them to refrain from referring to you in a derogatory manner, as it hurts your feelings. I believe many of them would understand and stop. For those who persist, it may be best to ignore them rather than engage in confrontation.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and consider working on reducing your weight, as this may naturally eliminate such references and earn you appreciation from everyone. How are your family members and other friends responding to this situation? Are they supportive?
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear Anon,
Cool it. How many people will you fight and at how many places will you fight? After a fight, when will you make up and achieve a friendly environment to work?
1. Chodo yaar, bhoolo mere upar chipakta nahin and forget it.
2. Learn a lesson from Bharati who is extraordinarily fat and has made a hit in the Kapil Show, dancing show, and other shows.
3. Being fat is a God-given gift and not available to people with a small heart. Say, "I have a big heart to forgive you and carry no grudges."
4. Khisboo attaire. If you are being titled Kushboo for your dress sense, take congratulations from me also. Flashy dress only smart people can wear and carry it. Be bindaaz child and say super. Buy dresses of your choice, flashy if you want, and enjoy it and show off to others like TunTun of our days.
Dale Carnegie, a famous author on behavior, said, "Take criticism as rain and hold a mental umbrella; it won't fall on you."
On the contrary, if it was a professional comment on your performance, take it seriously.
God bless you. Don't let these guys disturb your sleep and peace of mind.
Life is great. Fatness is a gift. A fat body, a big heart, and flashy dresses - you must be the choice of all bride seekers.
Blessings,
Dr. Ram
Cool, have a peaceful sleep and forget it. Don't sulk; they will apologize on their own and say, "I am sorry." Tell them, "I have a big heart to forgive you."
From India, Indore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Cool it. How many people will you fight and at how many places will you fight? After a fight, when will you make up and achieve a friendly environment to work?
1. Chodo yaar, bhoolo mere upar chipakta nahin and forget it.
2. Learn a lesson from Bharati who is extraordinarily fat and has made a hit in the Kapil Show, dancing show, and other shows.
3. Being fat is a God-given gift and not available to people with a small heart. Say, "I have a big heart to forgive you and carry no grudges."
4. Khisboo attaire. If you are being titled Kushboo for your dress sense, take congratulations from me also. Flashy dress only smart people can wear and carry it. Be bindaaz child and say super. Buy dresses of your choice, flashy if you want, and enjoy it and show off to others like TunTun of our days.
Dale Carnegie, a famous author on behavior, said, "Take criticism as rain and hold a mental umbrella; it won't fall on you."
On the contrary, if it was a professional comment on your performance, take it seriously.
God bless you. Don't let these guys disturb your sleep and peace of mind.
Life is great. Fatness is a gift. A fat body, a big heart, and flashy dresses - you must be the choice of all bride seekers.
Blessings,
Dr. Ram
Cool, have a peaceful sleep and forget it. Don't sulk; they will apologize on their own and say, "I am sorry." Tell them, "I have a big heart to forgive you."
From India, Indore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
This kind of behavior by an executive is outrageous. In my country, this would result in immediate dismissal, and the person would be liable to be arrested. Would this not amount to sexual harassment or verbal/mental harassment in India? Is there not a human rights agency where you can address this issue? Allowing these individuals to go unpunished could embolden them to engage in even more egregious actions. It is imperative that you address this issue firmly and hold them accountable.
From United+States, San+Francisco
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From United+States, San+Francisco
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I do agree with the views above and disagree to some extent.
It is a normal practice in the office that each and every employee wants to pass comments on their fellow colleagues, but how far should it go?
Some may take it sportively, and some may take it seriously. We heard in our media that an employee in Bangalore has committed suicide by not bearing the comments of her fellow colleagues as she is fat. Whom should we hold responsible?
Quotations may work to some extent, but if the same employee is sensitive and can only receive but cannot fight against it, what can be done?
Here, the HR person is at the receiving end, and what about the other employees? How far can it go? The HR employee has to frame a policy to restrict such practices in the workplace, keeping the environment friendly without allowing one employee to harass another. This way, the harassing employee has to think twice before commenting.
As mentioned above, the office employee commented on being fat and responded quickly by talking to their seniors. If another person could not respond and silently bears the agony, who is responsible? The HR department has to frame a policy where they can initiate steps to stop such harassment and also impose punishments like withholding increments or other measures.
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
It is a normal practice in the office that each and every employee wants to pass comments on their fellow colleagues, but how far should it go?
Some may take it sportively, and some may take it seriously. We heard in our media that an employee in Bangalore has committed suicide by not bearing the comments of her fellow colleagues as she is fat. Whom should we hold responsible?
Quotations may work to some extent, but if the same employee is sensitive and can only receive but cannot fight against it, what can be done?
Here, the HR person is at the receiving end, and what about the other employees? How far can it go? The HR employee has to frame a policy to restrict such practices in the workplace, keeping the environment friendly without allowing one employee to harass another. This way, the harassing employee has to think twice before commenting.
As mentioned above, the office employee commented on being fat and responded quickly by talking to their seniors. If another person could not respond and silently bears the agony, who is responsible? The HR department has to frame a policy where they can initiate steps to stop such harassment and also impose punishments like withholding increments or other measures.
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I am also an HR person who used to face the same situation in the office, but I was not taking it seriously. I thought if I reduce my weight and become slim, nobody will comment on me, and I need to lose my self-esteem. I tried Herbalife's weight loss program, and within one month, I lost 4 kg naturally. After that, the same people who used to comment badly started calling me a hero. I am still using the products, and in one more month, I lost several kgs to maintain my health. Now, I look like a small boy of age 19 to 20. So, if you don't mind, you can use the same and look good naturally. If you want more information, you can contact me at the number below: 9739298286.
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
You dealt with the situation very well. I totally disagree with people saying that, "these things happen", "will you fight with everyone" or "you should take it as a compliment". I think for such situations one should confront the culprit at the very first time. Official channels don't do any good and nobody will support you. You have to deal with such incidents yourself.
You did the right thing by confronting them directly. You are brave.
One more point I would like to make is that one should not be emotionally vulnerable to what people say. It should not affect you if you think you are right. But it doesn't mean that you should let people say anything. Just take them head on.
(views are based upon my personal experiences, although situations have been different)
From India, New Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
You did the right thing by confronting them directly. You are brave.
One more point I would like to make is that one should not be emotionally vulnerable to what people say. It should not affect you if you think you are right. But it doesn't mean that you should let people say anything. Just take them head on.
(views are based upon my personal experiences, although situations have been different)
From India, New Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi all,
With 26 years of experience in the private industry, it is not advisable to confront one's own boss, as the scene may get reversed. Instead of understanding the problem, the HR Exec. will be harassed for all petty reasons. Hence, one should talk to their boss who made the comment and get it resolved, trying not to repeat the same.
Regards
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
With 26 years of experience in the private industry, it is not advisable to confront one's own boss, as the scene may get reversed. Instead of understanding the problem, the HR Exec. will be harassed for all petty reasons. Hence, one should talk to their boss who made the comment and get it resolved, trying not to repeat the same.
Regards
From India, Hyderabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear Lady,
What you did was correct. But do not let it affect you in any fashion. I am aware that saying so is easy, whereas to forget and forgive someone for such a remark is not easy. If I were a lady and such remarks were made about me, I would not have spared the person, irrespective of the consequences. Maybe my response is due to my background. Once again, well done and hats off for not ignoring the incident. May God bless you.
Regards,
Col. Rathi
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
What you did was correct. But do not let it affect you in any fashion. I am aware that saying so is easy, whereas to forget and forgive someone for such a remark is not easy. If I were a lady and such remarks were made about me, I would not have spared the person, irrespective of the consequences. Maybe my response is due to my background. Once again, well done and hats off for not ignoring the incident. May God bless you.
Regards,
Col. Rathi
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Very funny. Are u really serious on such comments?. Relax and concentrate on your work. — — — — — - pon
From India, Lucknow
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Lucknow
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
This kind of response coming from a lady is shocking. A human being must be respected for who they are and not for their size. A working woman is a sister, daughter, mother, or wife of someone. She is not an object of lust in the office space or anywhere else. Why should anyone have to lose weight to be presentable to some ill-behaved individual in the office? It's a personal choice to lose weight or not. No one has the right to attack someone's self-respect.
It is appalling that many professionals here are advising the lady to take these things in stride. Why should she have to do that? No one works in a place to lose their self-esteem and be taunted in such a manner. It is shameful to see educated people advising a lady to endure such nonsense. It's really shameful. These kinds of individuals must be held accountable, as they indirectly enable crimes against women. The perpetrators of such crimes know that such individuals will overlook such misbehavior towards women, making them feel safe while committing the crime. It's truly shameful that such enablers are present in this forum.
From United+States, San+Francisco
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
It is appalling that many professionals here are advising the lady to take these things in stride. Why should she have to do that? No one works in a place to lose their self-esteem and be taunted in such a manner. It is shameful to see educated people advising a lady to endure such nonsense. It's really shameful. These kinds of individuals must be held accountable, as they indirectly enable crimes against women. The perpetrators of such crimes know that such individuals will overlook such misbehavior towards women, making them feel safe while committing the crime. It's truly shameful that such enablers are present in this forum.
From United+States, San+Francisco
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
The action taken by the lady was, in my opinion, an appropriate response. I don't agree with the two extreme views here, one advocating no action and the other severe action. While we are all professionals, it must be noted that people will pass comments and have opinions; office gossip is a reality. I don't think the two accused had any malicious intent while making those comments, any more than a group of ladies in an office discussing their male colleagues. If there is anyone who believes that people don't gossip about their office colleagues, they are naive or foolish. Everyone talks about others, and any group will discuss office colleagues; the punishment here was for them being indiscreet enough to let the lady overhear them talking.
Regards,
Gokul
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Regards,
Gokul
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear Anonymous,
Why is it that your company doesn't have an Anti-Sexual Harassment committee as prescribed under the law? Every company needs to have an Anti-Sexual Harassment committee as it is mandatory under the law. Kindly constitute an Anti-Sexual Harassment committee immediately to handle such issues in the future.
Regards, Octavious
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Why is it that your company doesn't have an Anti-Sexual Harassment committee as prescribed under the law? Every company needs to have an Anti-Sexual Harassment committee as it is mandatory under the law. Kindly constitute an Anti-Sexual Harassment committee immediately to handle such issues in the future.
Regards, Octavious
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Such people should be socially boycotted by all in the office. Please share this with all sensible people in your office and seek their support to isolate those individuals. It is better to make them realize that they have made a mistake.
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear Harassed & Aggrieved Woman Employee,
Your Post: "Today as I was walking into the office (I am the HR person of this location), my boss made a comment about how I have been coming dressed colorful and how he wants to give me the title of Khushboo of our office (A fat heroine, I am also a plump person). Then another guy said he thinks Jayalalitha suits better."
I told this to my vertical head, and she said to confront them and tell them that they should not make any such comments in the future. She also said that she will report the matter to our head. My fiance, after hearing this, feels that I have to mail them or react strongly.
I feel so angry, and my self-esteem is at an all-time low. Should I message them? Mail them? Talk to them directly?
- Posted 8th October 2014
Position: This is a case of Humiliating Treatment affecting the psychological and physical health of the Aggrieved Woman Employee, and the "Acts" perpetrated by the Two Male Co-Workers/Colleagues (irrespective of the Designations held by them) amount to/CONSTITUTE
"Acts of Sexual Harassment" within the meaning of Sexual Harassment as per the New Law, namely "Sexual Harassment of Woman at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition & Redressal) Act April 2013 and the Rules framed thereunder and Gazetted on 9th Dec 2013.
Further, the "Offense of Sexually Harassing the Aggrieved Woman" has already been committed and is "already on Record" once they were brought to the Attention of her Superior - maybe verbally reported - and that Superior should have taken PROMPT Action towards the redressal of Her Complaints and by Not Doing that/by Not discharging Her Legally-Binding Duties Entrusted to Her as "the Person who Supervises, Manages and Controls the Workplace," she, the said Superior, Has already on-record Violated the Provisions of the said Act and is liable to Punishment/penalty, including a Fine of up to Rs. 50,000/-. Likewise, the other Superior before whom the Aggrieved Woman Employee also Lodged her SH Complaint has already committed "the "Offence" of Breaching the Law and also for "abatement" and is liable to the Penalty of the prescribed Fine. In addition, the Establishment is at RISK of losing its Business License/Permission.
The Employer of the Establishment in question where the above-mentioned "Aggrieved Woman" is employed is advised to take IMMEDIATE Action Listed below:
1. Constitute the Internal Complaints Committee as stipulated in Section 19 of the said Act.
2. Frame your Company's/Establishment Policy in alignment with the OBJECTIVE of the said Act and Notify the Policy to all Employees for proper and faithful Compliance.
3. Notify all Employees and others present/likely to be present on Co's Premises the "Penalties" for Acts of SH and the Redressal Mechanism already constituted.
4. Quickly Organize the Mandatory/Legally-Binding "Awareness Programs for Employees to inform them about the Provisions of the said Act and to Gender Sensitize them all.
5. Swiftly organize the Mandatory/Legally-Binding "Orientation Program" for ICC (Internal Complaints Committee) Members so that they LEARN to discharge their Legally entrusted Duties of a) Admitting the SH Complaints; b) Ascertain prima facie the Facts of the Case when a Report and Not a Written Complaint is lodged/reported verbally or brought to the attention of Superiors, etc; c) Hold Conciliation at the behest of the Aggrieved Woman Complainant; d) Hold Internal/Domestic Inquiries in accordance with the Principles of Natural Justice; e) Write Inquiry Reports and submit their Findings for necessary Disciplinary Action; f) Make "Recommendations" to the Employer; g) Determine Compensation payable to the Aggrieved Woman Employee Complainant; h) Prepare Annual Statutory Return for the year 2013 onwards and other matters connected therewith.
The Law prescribes that the Aggrieved Woman Complainant submits their SH Complaints in Writing. This should be followed. Where is the Need to continue to participate in continued SH anytime, anywhere. When we bring things out, they lose their power over us.
Let us all collaborate in Making the Workplace "SAFE" and "SECURE" and the Best Place to Work WHERE No Woman is subjected to Sexual Harassment.
Any and All Queries are WELCOME.
All "doubts," "dilemmas," "Misgivings," or "Myths" will be clarified.
Kritarth Team has Guided and Helped many Corporate, Employers, Heads of Institutions, and Individual Managers in Full-Scale Implementation of the said Act. We are Available, round the clock.
Harsh Kumar Sharan
Special Educator for Po SH Programs
Kritarth Team
Kritarth Consulting Pvt Ltd
Kritarth Consulting Private Limited
13th Oct 2014
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Your Post: "Today as I was walking into the office (I am the HR person of this location), my boss made a comment about how I have been coming dressed colorful and how he wants to give me the title of Khushboo of our office (A fat heroine, I am also a plump person). Then another guy said he thinks Jayalalitha suits better."
I told this to my vertical head, and she said to confront them and tell them that they should not make any such comments in the future. She also said that she will report the matter to our head. My fiance, after hearing this, feels that I have to mail them or react strongly.
I feel so angry, and my self-esteem is at an all-time low. Should I message them? Mail them? Talk to them directly?
- Posted 8th October 2014
Position: This is a case of Humiliating Treatment affecting the psychological and physical health of the Aggrieved Woman Employee, and the "Acts" perpetrated by the Two Male Co-Workers/Colleagues (irrespective of the Designations held by them) amount to/CONSTITUTE
"Acts of Sexual Harassment" within the meaning of Sexual Harassment as per the New Law, namely "Sexual Harassment of Woman at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition & Redressal) Act April 2013 and the Rules framed thereunder and Gazetted on 9th Dec 2013.
Further, the "Offense of Sexually Harassing the Aggrieved Woman" has already been committed and is "already on Record" once they were brought to the Attention of her Superior - maybe verbally reported - and that Superior should have taken PROMPT Action towards the redressal of Her Complaints and by Not Doing that/by Not discharging Her Legally-Binding Duties Entrusted to Her as "the Person who Supervises, Manages and Controls the Workplace," she, the said Superior, Has already on-record Violated the Provisions of the said Act and is liable to Punishment/penalty, including a Fine of up to Rs. 50,000/-. Likewise, the other Superior before whom the Aggrieved Woman Employee also Lodged her SH Complaint has already committed "the "Offence" of Breaching the Law and also for "abatement" and is liable to the Penalty of the prescribed Fine. In addition, the Establishment is at RISK of losing its Business License/Permission.
The Employer of the Establishment in question where the above-mentioned "Aggrieved Woman" is employed is advised to take IMMEDIATE Action Listed below:
1. Constitute the Internal Complaints Committee as stipulated in Section 19 of the said Act.
2. Frame your Company's/Establishment Policy in alignment with the OBJECTIVE of the said Act and Notify the Policy to all Employees for proper and faithful Compliance.
3. Notify all Employees and others present/likely to be present on Co's Premises the "Penalties" for Acts of SH and the Redressal Mechanism already constituted.
4. Quickly Organize the Mandatory/Legally-Binding "Awareness Programs for Employees to inform them about the Provisions of the said Act and to Gender Sensitize them all.
5. Swiftly organize the Mandatory/Legally-Binding "Orientation Program" for ICC (Internal Complaints Committee) Members so that they LEARN to discharge their Legally entrusted Duties of a) Admitting the SH Complaints; b) Ascertain prima facie the Facts of the Case when a Report and Not a Written Complaint is lodged/reported verbally or brought to the attention of Superiors, etc; c) Hold Conciliation at the behest of the Aggrieved Woman Complainant; d) Hold Internal/Domestic Inquiries in accordance with the Principles of Natural Justice; e) Write Inquiry Reports and submit their Findings for necessary Disciplinary Action; f) Make "Recommendations" to the Employer; g) Determine Compensation payable to the Aggrieved Woman Employee Complainant; h) Prepare Annual Statutory Return for the year 2013 onwards and other matters connected therewith.
The Law prescribes that the Aggrieved Woman Complainant submits their SH Complaints in Writing. This should be followed. Where is the Need to continue to participate in continued SH anytime, anywhere. When we bring things out, they lose their power over us.
Let us all collaborate in Making the Workplace "SAFE" and "SECURE" and the Best Place to Work WHERE No Woman is subjected to Sexual Harassment.
Any and All Queries are WELCOME.
All "doubts," "dilemmas," "Misgivings," or "Myths" will be clarified.
Kritarth Team has Guided and Helped many Corporate, Employers, Heads of Institutions, and Individual Managers in Full-Scale Implementation of the said Act. We are Available, round the clock.
Harsh Kumar Sharan
Special Educator for Po SH Programs
Kritarth Team
Kritarth Consulting Pvt Ltd
Kritarth Consulting Private Limited
13th Oct 2014
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
My dear friend,
I read through all the suggestions. I would say the suggestions are an individual's opinion. My opinion is as follows:
First of all, decide for yourself whether you are really hurt, upset, or if it is that your female head's opinion has forced you to think this way.
We cannot stop anybody for what they say. Yes! Either you keep quiet and enjoy being sullen, or if there is a harassment policy in your organization, take advantage of that.
Another possible solution may be that you write an email to them, sharing a copy with the female head you talked to.
"Start with reference to the particular day (please mention the date and time, if you remember). In a soft but straightforward language, narrate the incident to them. Tell them that they may have said it in a light-hearted manner, but this has hurt you. Mention that you respect them as your leader but express your current feelings. Let them know that as great leaders, they are supposed to understand their team members. In the last paragraph, mention that they now understand the situation and politely request them not to repeat it."
I could think of this particular mode. They may not repeat the incident, and the matter may not be aggravated.
Regards
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I read through all the suggestions. I would say the suggestions are an individual's opinion. My opinion is as follows:
First of all, decide for yourself whether you are really hurt, upset, or if it is that your female head's opinion has forced you to think this way.
We cannot stop anybody for what they say. Yes! Either you keep quiet and enjoy being sullen, or if there is a harassment policy in your organization, take advantage of that.
Another possible solution may be that you write an email to them, sharing a copy with the female head you talked to.
"Start with reference to the particular day (please mention the date and time, if you remember). In a soft but straightforward language, narrate the incident to them. Tell them that they may have said it in a light-hearted manner, but this has hurt you. Mention that you respect them as your leader but express your current feelings. Let them know that as great leaders, they are supposed to understand their team members. In the last paragraph, mention that they now understand the situation and politely request them not to repeat it."
I could think of this particular mode. They may not repeat the incident, and the matter may not be aggravated.
Regards
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi,
I think nothing should be needed when you feel in a sportive way. If you are lean, people may try to command or criticize you, but remember that as you grow up, it is not right to point fingers at others. Don't be scared and don't care about their words. They are like passing clouds, so don't worry about them; just ignore them with your silence.
Hi,
It is really nasty and dishonest to comment on a colleague in that manner. No one should overlook such behavior by just getting angry. As a boss or HR official, passing such comments should not be taken lightly.
My suggestion is for you to report this incident to your higher authority via email. You should also demand an apology.
Your management should issue a warning letter to those individuals and also send a show-cause notice.
Regards,
Ravichandra Paanem
From India, Coimbatore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I think nothing should be needed when you feel in a sportive way. If you are lean, people may try to command or criticize you, but remember that as you grow up, it is not right to point fingers at others. Don't be scared and don't care about their words. They are like passing clouds, so don't worry about them; just ignore them with your silence.
Hi,
It is really nasty and dishonest to comment on a colleague in that manner. No one should overlook such behavior by just getting angry. As a boss or HR official, passing such comments should not be taken lightly.
My suggestion is for you to report this incident to your higher authority via email. You should also demand an apology.
Your management should issue a warning letter to those individuals and also send a show-cause notice.
Regards,
Ravichandra Paanem
From India, Coimbatore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear,
In my opinion, you can strongly present yourself in front of them with a flood of information to your senior management. If you only inform your management and then step back, your standing will not be reflected, and they will likely raise the same concerns in the future. So, first of all, treat them as a very small onionist and show your strength in front of them.
From India, Noida
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
In my opinion, you can strongly present yourself in front of them with a flood of information to your senior management. If you only inform your management and then step back, your standing will not be reflected, and they will likely raise the same concerns in the future. So, first of all, treat them as a very small onionist and show your strength in front of them.
From India, Noida
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear all,
This subject is not fit for discussion in this forum. Nobody can give their opinions on their boss's attitudes or comments. Henceforth, such questions should not be placed in this forum as this is not a fit issue for sharing experience and knowledge. Before posting such a query, one should consider whether it is useful for all. All the experts and contributing managers are giving their opinions based on their experience. Please avoid such topics.
Adoni Suguresh, Sr. Executive (Pers, Admin & Ind. Rels) Retired Labour Laws Consultant
From India, Bidar
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
This subject is not fit for discussion in this forum. Nobody can give their opinions on their boss's attitudes or comments. Henceforth, such questions should not be placed in this forum as this is not a fit issue for sharing experience and knowledge. Before posting such a query, one should consider whether it is useful for all. All the experts and contributing managers are giving their opinions based on their experience. Please avoid such topics.
Adoni Suguresh, Sr. Executive (Pers, Admin & Ind. Rels) Retired Labour Laws Consultant
From India, Bidar
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear all,
This whole discussion was an eye-opener for me as a student, and I thank you all for sharing your insights. What I have learned from the discussion is that "As an HR professional, every day is challenging, and we need to approach it as a learning experience." As I read through some of the top comments, a question arose in my mind: "Can both management and employees request a show cause notice for misconduct from each other, or is it only the prerogative of management to issue show cause notices to employees?"
Thank you.
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
This whole discussion was an eye-opener for me as a student, and I thank you all for sharing your insights. What I have learned from the discussion is that "As an HR professional, every day is challenging, and we need to approach it as a learning experience." As I read through some of the top comments, a question arose in my mind: "Can both management and employees request a show cause notice for misconduct from each other, or is it only the prerogative of management to issue show cause notices to employees?"
Thank you.
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Anonymous, I guess Anuradha is right in a way. Speak to them and tell them that you are offended by their remarks and move on. But I would not suggest threatening them. There is no use in playing hardball in this situation.
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I have read this thread with interest and wondered what advice experts would have given if a female boss had made a similar comment to a man. For example, had she said, "You seem to have started to dress up nicely like Raymond Burr in the Perry Mason series," or something to that effect.
From United Kingdom
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From United Kingdom
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)Join Our Community and get connected with the right people who can help. Our AI-powered platform provides real-time fact-checking, peer-reviewed insights, and a vast historical knowledge base to support your search.
Impact Of Training.pdf
Cultural impact on business performance.doc