Hey guys....look at the below stuff...just too funny...the comments for each one were even more hilarious! Can't control my laughter.
Duration spent in each company you worked for: 2 years (But the issue is my spouse works in Bangalore. That's why I am very interested in shifting from Chennai to Bangalore).
Hello Rebecca,
What happened to me? I have not been selected, right? Apologies for this, but I would like to join your company.
Thank you for your email. I will reply shortly.
Sounds like a total disaster!
Yes, I'm interested in working in such a challenging environment and atmosphere.
If you are interested, please call me at +91 xxxxxxx / 0xxxx.
Sundar.
Current CTC: 240000/- per annum
Expected CTC: 300000/- per annum
Joining period: 30 days
Contact Number: YES
Notice period: 2 weeks
Duration spent in each company you worked for: 10 hours
Hello Mr./Mrs./Ms., this is Amit Choubey sending my testing resume as per your requirements for your IT company. Please consider me for any suitable position.
Thank you for your positive response,
Amit
I am a Sun Certified Programmer for Java 2 Platform 1.4. I completed my B.E. (Electrical and Electronics) in the 2004 batch from Madurai Kamaraj University. I am currently seeking opportunities in a progressive organization where I can grow and stay updated with evolving technologies. I have attached my resume for your review. Please take necessary action at the earliest.
I am available for interviews any day. Thank you.
All was fine until "keep abreasting"?
Candidate: Madam, I noticed an opening for a Java programmer on the job site. Can you process my CV? I am currently in Chennai.
HR: We are currently looking for candidates local to Bangalore only for this project.
Candidate: I am willing to relocate!
HR: Huh?
HR: What is your relevant experience?
Candidate: 3 years.
HR: Expected salary?
Candidate: Yes, Madam.
HR: Hehehe.
HR: How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 in C#?
Candidate: 7.
HR: Communication skills?
Candidate: Perfect 10/10. I can communicate with American clients as well, Madam.
HR: Impressive!
Here is a mail my candidate sent me after I sent out a group email for a testing requirement:
Mail 1:
How long will you keep sending such emails? Let's get married and settle down.
- Vinod
Mail 2:
Hello Ms. Ranjit,
Nice to meet you through email.
- Suresh
Mail 3:
Hello,
Please find my resume attached. Kindly proceed.
- Giri
Cover letter: "I am prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss how I can contribute to your company."
That's what we are afraid of.
Resume: "I aim to utilize my communication skills in a professional position."
I think we can fulfill that.
Weaknesses: "I suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."
We can hardly wait.
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."
We will try not to let it go to our heads.
Objective: "To excel in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.
Experience: "10 years of experience in financial budgeting and transaction registering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.
Cover letter: "Please review my resume."
If you insist.
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consideration."
Sounds appetizing.
Skills: "Great communication skills."
Yes, but can you multitask effectively?
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruitment, screening, interviewing, and final candidate selection."
Seems intense.
Cover letter: "Salary expectation - $65,000."
Would you prefer that in cash or check?
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composure."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
Education: "B.A. in Liberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?
Cover letter: "I've enhanced my resume to impress potential employers."
We are quite surprised already.
Cover letter: "Seeking challenges that stimulate my mind and body, as they are often intertwined."
Glad to hear it.
Cover letter: "My focus and intensity are exceptionally high, and I excel at completing projects on time."
Some things are better left unsaid at that level.
Cover letter: "Experienced in all aspects of accounting."
That should help the flow of information.
Ensure that the meaning and tone of the original message are maintained while correcting spelling and grammar errors.
From India, Madras
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Duration spent in each company you worked for: 2 years (But the issue is my spouse works in Bangalore. That's why I am very interested in shifting from Chennai to Bangalore).
Hello Rebecca,
What happened to me? I have not been selected, right? Apologies for this, but I would like to join your company.
Thank you for your email. I will reply shortly.
Sounds like a total disaster!
Yes, I'm interested in working in such a challenging environment and atmosphere.
If you are interested, please call me at +91 xxxxxxx / 0xxxx.
Sundar.
Current CTC: 240000/- per annum
Expected CTC: 300000/- per annum
Joining period: 30 days
Contact Number: YES
Notice period: 2 weeks
Duration spent in each company you worked for: 10 hours
Hello Mr./Mrs./Ms., this is Amit Choubey sending my testing resume as per your requirements for your IT company. Please consider me for any suitable position.
Thank you for your positive response,
Amit
I am a Sun Certified Programmer for Java 2 Platform 1.4. I completed my B.E. (Electrical and Electronics) in the 2004 batch from Madurai Kamaraj University. I am currently seeking opportunities in a progressive organization where I can grow and stay updated with evolving technologies. I have attached my resume for your review. Please take necessary action at the earliest.
I am available for interviews any day. Thank you.
All was fine until "keep abreasting"?
Candidate: Madam, I noticed an opening for a Java programmer on the job site. Can you process my CV? I am currently in Chennai.
HR: We are currently looking for candidates local to Bangalore only for this project.
Candidate: I am willing to relocate!
HR: Huh?
HR: What is your relevant experience?
Candidate: 3 years.
HR: Expected salary?
Candidate: Yes, Madam.
HR: Hehehe.
HR: How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 in C#?
Candidate: 7.
HR: Communication skills?
Candidate: Perfect 10/10. I can communicate with American clients as well, Madam.
HR: Impressive!
Here is a mail my candidate sent me after I sent out a group email for a testing requirement:
Mail 1:
How long will you keep sending such emails? Let's get married and settle down.
- Vinod
Mail 2:
Hello Ms. Ranjit,
Nice to meet you through email.
- Suresh
Mail 3:
Hello,
Please find my resume attached. Kindly proceed.
- Giri
Cover letter: "I am prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss how I can contribute to your company."
That's what we are afraid of.
Resume: "I aim to utilize my communication skills in a professional position."
I think we can fulfill that.
Weaknesses: "I suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."
We can hardly wait.
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."
We will try not to let it go to our heads.
Objective: "To excel in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.
Experience: "10 years of experience in financial budgeting and transaction registering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.
Cover letter: "Please review my resume."
If you insist.
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consideration."
Sounds appetizing.
Skills: "Great communication skills."
Yes, but can you multitask effectively?
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruitment, screening, interviewing, and final candidate selection."
Seems intense.
Cover letter: "Salary expectation - $65,000."
Would you prefer that in cash or check?
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composure."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
Education: "B.A. in Liberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?
Cover letter: "I've enhanced my resume to impress potential employers."
We are quite surprised already.
Cover letter: "Seeking challenges that stimulate my mind and body, as they are often intertwined."
Glad to hear it.
Cover letter: "My focus and intensity are exceptionally high, and I excel at completing projects on time."
Some things are better left unsaid at that level.
Cover letter: "Experienced in all aspects of accounting."
That should help the flow of information.
Ensure that the meaning and tone of the original message are maintained while correcting spelling and grammar errors.
From India, Madras
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Dear Recruiter,
Thank you for your email. I have enclosed my updated resume.
To be frank, regardless of the package, I will never join a company if the salary date precedes the first week of the coming month. Therefore, please confirm the salary date as it is my top priority.
I want to make it clear that I am not willing to work continuous night shifts, whether currently or in the future. Rotational shifts are acceptable. Additionally, I require a minimum of one month paid leave during October-November as I am an out-stationed candidate and need to visit my hometown during this period.
Having been in this field for a considerable amount of time, I insist on working only an 8-hour shift. I am not capable of sitting through entire days as is the practice in many companies.
The remaining details can be discussed during the interview, although the above-mentioned conditions are non-negotiable starting points.
If you can ensure these conditions, please respond accordingly. Otherwise, I prefer not to waste both my time and yours on further tests and interviews.
Sincerely,
XYZ
Pune
From India, Pune
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11Thank you for your email. I have enclosed my updated resume.
To be frank, regardless of the package, I will never join a company if the salary date precedes the first week of the coming month. Therefore, please confirm the salary date as it is my top priority.
I want to make it clear that I am not willing to work continuous night shifts, whether currently or in the future. Rotational shifts are acceptable. Additionally, I require a minimum of one month paid leave during October-November as I am an out-stationed candidate and need to visit my hometown during this period.
Having been in this field for a considerable amount of time, I insist on working only an 8-hour shift. I am not capable of sitting through entire days as is the practice in many companies.
The remaining details can be discussed during the interview, although the above-mentioned conditions are non-negotiable starting points.
If you can ensure these conditions, please respond accordingly. Otherwise, I prefer not to waste both my time and yours on further tests and interviews.
Sincerely,
XYZ
Pune
From India, Pune
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10 Mistakes Managers Make During Job Interviews.doc
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