Dear All,
Greetings!
I am working in an NGO as an Associate HR. I have been in this role since August '14. I recently resigned from my position on the 4th of November and I am currently serving my notice period. I decided to resign due to my boss's behavior towards me. Balancing my personal life, especially with a 2-year-old child, and my professional responsibilities has become challenging.
After office hours, my boss frequently calls me to criticize me, which negatively impacts my personal life. He often scolds me in front of others but later apologizes. This pattern has been ongoing for the past two years. Following my resignation, my boss assured me that he would not continue with such behavior and suggested I withdraw my resignation. However, the Executive Director, who advised me to discuss the matter, has not yet had the opportunity to speak with me due to being busy since my resignation.
I seek your guidance on how to proceed. Should I address my boss's behavior directly with the Executive Director, or should I inform my boss that his behavior is unacceptable while withdrawing my resignation?
Please advise.
Thank you.
From India, Sambalpur
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Greetings!
I am working in an NGO as an Associate HR. I have been in this role since August '14. I recently resigned from my position on the 4th of November and I am currently serving my notice period. I decided to resign due to my boss's behavior towards me. Balancing my personal life, especially with a 2-year-old child, and my professional responsibilities has become challenging.
After office hours, my boss frequently calls me to criticize me, which negatively impacts my personal life. He often scolds me in front of others but later apologizes. This pattern has been ongoing for the past two years. Following my resignation, my boss assured me that he would not continue with such behavior and suggested I withdraw my resignation. However, the Executive Director, who advised me to discuss the matter, has not yet had the opportunity to speak with me due to being busy since my resignation.
I seek your guidance on how to proceed. Should I address my boss's behavior directly with the Executive Director, or should I inform my boss that his behavior is unacceptable while withdrawing my resignation?
Please advise.
Thank you.
From India, Sambalpur
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Hi, Dear,
The relationship between you and your boss seems to be up and down most of the time. Your direct boss may have a short temper, which he realizes after having arguments with you and others, maybe.
Being in HR, you need to understand that at times, HR has to manage its own boss as well. We are in a field where we mostly deal with people's emotions, and our bosses are also human beings. Running off is never a recommended solution. You need to learn to deal with tough people if you are looking for a long-term career in this field. It's good that your boss apologizes later on after scolding you unnecessarily. This signifies that he is not in control, and apologizing to you also shows that you are an important person in the area.
Have a meeting with your ED and describe the situation to him. Let him know everything in a positive light. In such situations, it's always better to forgive someone and move on, as the people around are also under the impression of your boss's short temper. There's no need to resign for such a reason. Deal with it firmly; this is a learning experience for you with human emotions. If you succeed here, it will be a self-achievement for you that you will realize one day.
From India, New Delhi
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124The relationship between you and your boss seems to be up and down most of the time. Your direct boss may have a short temper, which he realizes after having arguments with you and others, maybe.
Being in HR, you need to understand that at times, HR has to manage its own boss as well. We are in a field where we mostly deal with people's emotions, and our bosses are also human beings. Running off is never a recommended solution. You need to learn to deal with tough people if you are looking for a long-term career in this field. It's good that your boss apologizes later on after scolding you unnecessarily. This signifies that he is not in control, and apologizing to you also shows that you are an important person in the area.
Have a meeting with your ED and describe the situation to him. Let him know everything in a positive light. In such situations, it's always better to forgive someone and move on, as the people around are also under the impression of your boss's short temper. There's no need to resign for such a reason. Deal with it firmly; this is a learning experience for you with human emotions. If you succeed here, it will be a self-achievement for you that you will realize one day.
From India, New Delhi
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Hi Dear,
Please don't leave the organization. In today's world, there is a lot of work pressure, and it happens sometimes that a superior scolds the subordinates. But in your case, you are lucky as he apologizes for his mistake. I think he is great. You have a great career ahead since you have been working for 3 years, so stick to your present job.
Best of Luck...
From India, Nasik
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Please don't leave the organization. In today's world, there is a lot of work pressure, and it happens sometimes that a superior scolds the subordinates. But in your case, you are lucky as he apologizes for his mistake. I think he is great. You have a great career ahead since you have been working for 3 years, so stick to your present job.
Best of Luck...
From India, Nasik
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Thank you so much for the reply. However, I have one doubt that I have been doing all the work alone, but he never appreciates me. He only does email. Apart from that, he never does any data-related work. Again, he never recommends my name for an increment. He always gives me work when office time is about to be over. These things bother me. He has been on leave for the last one and a half months, and I have been doing all the work under ED Sir. I have been completing everything on time.
So, can I share all these things with ED Sir or not? Thank you again for the help.
From India, Sambalpur
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So, can I share all these things with ED Sir or not? Thank you again for the help.
From India, Sambalpur
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But I have one doubt that I have been doing all the work alone - It happens in small/mid-size companies. However, he never appreciates me - No criticism is also an appreciation. He only does email - Email of what positives/negatives? Apart from that, he never does any data-related work - Generally, top bosses get this data-related work through juniors/subordinates. Again, he never recommends my name for an increment - So why haven't you thought of changing jobs so far? He always gives me work when office time is about to be over - If you know his working style, why don't you ask for work voluntarily before closing office hours? These things bother me - In reality, only the above-mentioned things are bothering you nowadays. He has been on leave for the last one and a half months, and I have been doing all the work under ED Sir - So, ED already knows what your capability is. I have been completing everything on time - It's your view, not ED's.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Hi there,
I have experienced the same issues that you are currently facing. If your boss is scolding you and then apologizing later, and also requesting you to withdraw your resignation, it indicates that he understands the potential trouble he could face if you were to leave the organization, considering you are currently handling all of his work.
I recommend speaking with your Executive Director (ED), but approach the conversation in a manner that conveys your willingness to continue handling all responsibilities. If your ED inquires about your boss's behavior, be honest with them. Let them know that while your boss does apologize, being scolded in front of other team members is disheartening. Despite these challenges, you have remained focused on completing your tasks promptly.
Being proactive can also help. Try meeting with your boss early in the morning to receive a list of tasks for the day. Update your boss on your progress after completing half of your daily tasks, demonstrating your commitment to fulfilling his expectations.
Sending a daily email listing assigned tasks and their status before leaving for the day can serve as documentation for future reference in case of any misunderstandings or complaints.
While recognition is important for motivation, sometimes it requires patience. Your dedication will eventually be acknowledged when you excel in tasks that only you can perform exceptionally.
Regarding after-hours calls that affect your personal life, schedule a meeting with your boss to politely explain that such calls disrupt your family time, particularly since your child is your top priority after work hours.
I hope these suggestions help resolve your situation. Best of luck.
Thank you,
Kreena Prashant
Pune
From India, Pune
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I have experienced the same issues that you are currently facing. If your boss is scolding you and then apologizing later, and also requesting you to withdraw your resignation, it indicates that he understands the potential trouble he could face if you were to leave the organization, considering you are currently handling all of his work.
I recommend speaking with your Executive Director (ED), but approach the conversation in a manner that conveys your willingness to continue handling all responsibilities. If your ED inquires about your boss's behavior, be honest with them. Let them know that while your boss does apologize, being scolded in front of other team members is disheartening. Despite these challenges, you have remained focused on completing your tasks promptly.
Being proactive can also help. Try meeting with your boss early in the morning to receive a list of tasks for the day. Update your boss on your progress after completing half of your daily tasks, demonstrating your commitment to fulfilling his expectations.
Sending a daily email listing assigned tasks and their status before leaving for the day can serve as documentation for future reference in case of any misunderstandings or complaints.
While recognition is important for motivation, sometimes it requires patience. Your dedication will eventually be acknowledged when you excel in tasks that only you can perform exceptionally.
Regarding after-hours calls that affect your personal life, schedule a meeting with your boss to politely explain that such calls disrupt your family time, particularly since your child is your top priority after work hours.
I hope these suggestions help resolve your situation. Best of luck.
Thank you,
Kreena Prashant
Pune
From India, Pune
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Dear Kreena,
Thank you for the valuable reply, which means a lot to me. He knows very well how valuable I am, but he never accepts that. He comes to the office at 10:45/10:30 every day, but our office time is 9 AM. After that, he starts his regular gossip for about 30 minutes, and only then does he start work. However, my work is supposed to start at 9 AM, so I should leave the office on time, but no, he never allows me to do that.
I also have a question: in an organization, who is the responsible person for all the increment and salary revision work? Our finance manager and HR manager both forced me to do it. The finance manager says it's HR work, while HR says it's the accounts and finance department's work. As I am very new to all these HR-related tasks, I end up doing all these things.
Kindly help me.
From India, Sambalpur
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Thank you for the valuable reply, which means a lot to me. He knows very well how valuable I am, but he never accepts that. He comes to the office at 10:45/10:30 every day, but our office time is 9 AM. After that, he starts his regular gossip for about 30 minutes, and only then does he start work. However, my work is supposed to start at 9 AM, so I should leave the office on time, but no, he never allows me to do that.
I also have a question: in an organization, who is the responsible person for all the increment and salary revision work? Our finance manager and HR manager both forced me to do it. The finance manager says it's HR work, while HR says it's the accounts and finance department's work. As I am very new to all these HR-related tasks, I end up doing all these things.
Kindly help me.
From India, Sambalpur
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Hi, If your boss is coming late to the office, then you can do one thing. On the previous day before you leave, ask him what work he has lined up for the next day. If he asks you why you want to know today, then tell him that if he lets you know what work you have to do the next day, then accordingly you can decide which work is to be done first. If he says he will let you know the work the next day after he comes, then let him do it. The next day, if he scolds you that you did not complete certain work, then you can tell him in a soft language that you had asked him about the work, but he didn't tell you as "HE WAS BUSY". This will show him your pro-activeness, and if you practice this every day, then he will have to think before he says anything to you.
Coming to your question on increment, then it's your manager who is responsible for your increment. He is supposed to do it; I mean he is supposed to do the discussions and give recommendations for you. But you will have to talk to him about this. Let him know that the delay in the increment is demotivating you, but this is not the right time to show this to him. First, he needs to understand that his behavior is not right towards you.
Thanks, Kreena
From India, Pune
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Coming to your question on increment, then it's your manager who is responsible for your increment. He is supposed to do it; I mean he is supposed to do the discussions and give recommendations for you. But you will have to talk to him about this. Let him know that the delay in the increment is demotivating you, but this is not the right time to show this to him. First, he needs to understand that his behavior is not right towards you.
Thanks, Kreena
From India, Pune
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Dear Keena,
Thanks again! I am talking about all the employees' increment calculation. Who is responsible for increment and revision-related calculation work? Is the Finance manager or HR Manager responsible for finalizing and doing all the calculations regarding the increment-related work?
Thanks for the quick reply.
From India, Sambalpur
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Thanks again! I am talking about all the employees' increment calculation. Who is responsible for increment and revision-related calculation work? Is the Finance manager or HR Manager responsible for finalizing and doing all the calculations regarding the increment-related work?
Thanks for the quick reply.
From India, Sambalpur
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Hi,
The increment and salary revision recommendations have to come from the respective managers. HR is also involved in the discussions, and then it is forwarded to the accounts team after the increment percentage is finalized. The calculations are primarily done by the accounts department.
Thanks,
Kreena
From India, Pune
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The increment and salary revision recommendations have to come from the respective managers. HR is also involved in the discussions, and then it is forwarded to the accounts team after the increment percentage is finalized. The calculations are primarily done by the accounts department.
Thanks,
Kreena
From India, Pune
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Dear Kreena, Thank you so much for the help. Thank you.
From India, Sambalpur
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From India, Sambalpur
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Dear Anonymous,
Good treatment and behavior are the essence of the workplace and also create a good atmosphere for employees to work in. There are some exceptional people who treat their juniors as if they are slaves and behave rudely. Generally, these types of people have many personal and family problems, which they project as their frustration onto others.
Now that you have already resigned, there is nothing left for you in that office. It would be better for you to concentrate on your baby and family, and also look for a new job. You have gained experience and will find another job too. Why bother unnecessarily about the past, which is going to end soon?
Your post makes me think that you are seeking advice from us, whether to proceed with your resignation or to withdraw it. You know your organization and the people around you better than we do. You should decide what will be best for you as a whole.
It is hurtful when you suggest leaving anonymously since you do not provide any name. If you are afraid of revealing your identity or losing prestige, you should not seek help from others.
From India, Mumbai
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Good treatment and behavior are the essence of the workplace and also create a good atmosphere for employees to work in. There are some exceptional people who treat their juniors as if they are slaves and behave rudely. Generally, these types of people have many personal and family problems, which they project as their frustration onto others.
Now that you have already resigned, there is nothing left for you in that office. It would be better for you to concentrate on your baby and family, and also look for a new job. You have gained experience and will find another job too. Why bother unnecessarily about the past, which is going to end soon?
Your post makes me think that you are seeking advice from us, whether to proceed with your resignation or to withdraw it. You know your organization and the people around you better than we do. You should decide what will be best for you as a whole.
It is hurtful when you suggest leaving anonymously since you do not provide any name. If you are afraid of revealing your identity or losing prestige, you should not seek help from others.
From India, Mumbai
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It happens in all organizations between junior-level employees and managers. It would be beneficial if you could connect with more influential individuals within the organization since you are in HR. Doing so will help you establish a stronger presence within any company. If your manager is not supportive, consider reaching out to their manager.
I always advise everyone to prioritize important tasks that our managers are following up on. This way, we can address less critical tasks the following day, as they do not require immediate attention. By completing tasks on time, you can leave work punctually. Even if you arrive late, managers typically do not reprimand you.
I make an effort to finish tasks promptly to avoid interruptions. Inform your supervisors that your working hours have concluded, and if there are pending tasks, you will address them before leaving. However, communicate that you cannot stay daily to complete tasks assigned just before the end of the workday. If this situation persists, escalate the matter to your manager's superior.
From India, Hyderabad
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I always advise everyone to prioritize important tasks that our managers are following up on. This way, we can address less critical tasks the following day, as they do not require immediate attention. By completing tasks on time, you can leave work punctually. Even if you arrive late, managers typically do not reprimand you.
I make an effort to finish tasks promptly to avoid interruptions. Inform your supervisors that your working hours have concluded, and if there are pending tasks, you will address them before leaving. However, communicate that you cannot stay daily to complete tasks assigned just before the end of the workday. If this situation persists, escalate the matter to your manager's superior.
From India, Hyderabad
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My dear Lady:
Being in the profession for more than four decades, I have learned:
Never scold or belittle an employee. Never ever do so in front of others. If there is an issue, it needs to be discussed in private. Not to be reprimanded, but to be counseled and advised. Your boss's attitude - the beans now being spilled - would have belittled himself in the eyes of everyone. Talk to your HR Manager, seek his counsel. Forgive, and pray for, your boss. (Remind him you have a resignation note ready in your handbag.) And he will begin seeing where he stands among his associates that keep his department/service on the move.
Arif ur Rehman
From Pakistan, Karachi
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Being in the profession for more than four decades, I have learned:
Never scold or belittle an employee. Never ever do so in front of others. If there is an issue, it needs to be discussed in private. Not to be reprimanded, but to be counseled and advised. Your boss's attitude - the beans now being spilled - would have belittled himself in the eyes of everyone. Talk to your HR Manager, seek his counsel. Forgive, and pray for, your boss. (Remind him you have a resignation note ready in your handbag.) And he will begin seeing where he stands among his associates that keep his department/service on the move.
Arif ur Rehman
From Pakistan, Karachi
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Create a Learning Environment at Work.pdf
Withdrawal of resignation before it becomes effective.doc