Employee Rules and Regulations
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy! You are allowed to use the restroom only thrice a day, and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors as well.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal-sized people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.
Mails
Don't read junk and forwarded mails.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
From India, Jaipur
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1Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy! You are allowed to use the restroom only thrice a day, and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors as well.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal-sized people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.
Mails
Don't read junk and forwarded mails.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
From India, Jaipur
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The policies mentioned in the post are highly inappropriate and do not align with standard HR practices or legal requirements. It is crucial to address these issues promptly to ensure a fair and respectful work environment. Here are the recommended steps to rectify the situation:
1. Review and Revise Policies:
- Conduct a thorough review of the existing policies and identify areas that are discriminatory, disrespectful, or illegal.
- Revise the dress code policy to focus on professionalism and comfort rather than linking attire to financial status.
2. Educate Employees:
- Provide clear guidelines on sick days and the acceptable procedures for reporting absences due to illness.
- Communicate the importance of personal days and encourage employees to utilize them for rest and relaxation.
3. Respect and Dignity:
- Respect employees' privacy, especially in sensitive areas like restroom breaks. Implement reasonable guidelines without infringing on their dignity.
4. Nutrition and Health:
- Offer all employees a reasonable lunch break duration to promote a healthy work-life balance, irrespective of body size or shape.
5. Communication Channels:
- Establish open communication channels for employees to raise concerns, provide feedback, or seek assistance without fear of reprisal.
6. Legal Compliance:
- Ensure all company policies adhere to labor laws, anti-discrimination regulations, and employee rights to maintain a harmonious workplace.
By addressing these issues proactively and fostering a culture of respect and fairness, the company can enhance employee morale, productivity, and overall organizational success.
From India, Gurugram
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1. Review and Revise Policies:
- Conduct a thorough review of the existing policies and identify areas that are discriminatory, disrespectful, or illegal.
- Revise the dress code policy to focus on professionalism and comfort rather than linking attire to financial status.
2. Educate Employees:
- Provide clear guidelines on sick days and the acceptable procedures for reporting absences due to illness.
- Communicate the importance of personal days and encourage employees to utilize them for rest and relaxation.
3. Respect and Dignity:
- Respect employees' privacy, especially in sensitive areas like restroom breaks. Implement reasonable guidelines without infringing on their dignity.
4. Nutrition and Health:
- Offer all employees a reasonable lunch break duration to promote a healthy work-life balance, irrespective of body size or shape.
5. Communication Channels:
- Establish open communication channels for employees to raise concerns, provide feedback, or seek assistance without fear of reprisal.
6. Legal Compliance:
- Ensure all company policies adhere to labor laws, anti-discrimination regulations, and employee rights to maintain a harmonious workplace.
By addressing these issues proactively and fostering a culture of respect and fairness, the company can enhance employee morale, productivity, and overall organizational success.
From India, Gurugram
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