How Should I Handle a Colleague Who Avoids Me and Hurts My Morale?

Dear All, I work as an HR executive in an automobile showroom. There is an employee in another department who does not want to talk to me and also turns his face whenever he sees me. It hurts me a lot. I tried to discuss his behavior with him several times, yet he continued to behave like this. It hurts me and also demotivates me. Please assist me in how to tackle this person and this situation.

Dear member,

Upon reading the description of the behavior of the employee mentioned in your post, it appears that he has a crush on you. Occasionally, someone develops a strong attraction towards someone that usually lasts for a short time. Continue to ignore his glances. Live in your world and ignore his presence completely. Over time, the attraction will fade away.

Nevertheless, if his overtures continue, then you need to remind him that gawking at a woman employee is classified as sexual harassment under the provisions of PoSH, 2013. If he does not mend his behavior, then you will be forced to make a formal complaint. So let him not create a problem for himself.

Discussing the Situation with a Senior

Do you have a workplace buddy who is senior to you? Have you discussed this matter with him/her? What is his/her take on the behavior of the employee?

Considering a Formal Complaint

You may give him a threat of making a formal complaint to his HOD. Many times, a complaint to the HOD has a telling effect.

Anyway, other members may also give different suggestions. However, do not allow your motivation or morale to suffer because of this employee. You need to show canniness. Try to be inventive in dealing with this situation.

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

Hi, it is a trivial issue. Just ignore it and keep moving on. The only concern is that if the above behavior of the employee affects you in terms of day-to-day work execution, then you need to take it up further with your superior.

Dear All, Thank you very much for the valuable suggestions. I appreciate all of you for your support. I am a member of the HR team, and a colleague's behavior is affecting me on a mental level. Please guide me further.

Hi, as an HR professional, that particular employee in another department relies on you for his HR-related questions like leave balance or salary queries. However, as part of your role, you are expected to maintain a cordial relationship with all employees. Schedule a One-on-One Discussion Why not schedule a one-on-one discussion with him to understand the reasons for his behavior? Remember, not all fingers are the same size. Sometimes, we encounter situations where an individual may not be satisfied with HR for various reasons. Dealing with such issues is also a part of the job. Please do not take it personally and distress yourself.

Dear All, Can I talk to the Head of HR about the behavior of that man so that a solution can be worked out?

Why are you asking us if you can talk to the Head of HR? We cannot give you the answer to that question as we do not work for your organization or have any knowledge of how the management operates. This is something you need to work out for yourself. Try requesting a meeting with the Head of HR and see if an appointment is granted. You will need to outline in the request what you want to talk about. Keep it brief.

Then, make sure you prepare your case well, and have all the information you need, along with a list of questions and a statement as to what you want to achieve to remedy this situation. Also, think about the benefits to the company if you and your colleague can resolve your differences. Finally, argue your case calmly, quietly, and assertively to achieve a win/win for everyone.

Hello, you can discuss this with the HR head. It is a practical issue, so you can file a complaint about it. In your case, the HR department may issue a show cause letter to the concerned employee, or the HR head can discuss it with the employee directly. For future reference, make sure it is documented.

Hi, As already mentioned, it is a trivial issue. I personally feel that you are viewing it through a magnifying lens. The Head of HR is your boss, and whether you want to discuss it with him or not is your prerogative. Be cool and move on.

Dear Mr. Alok Singh, It is not a very serious issue to the extent of issuing a 'show cause notice' to the employee concerned.

@Laxminarayan, Sir, you are a seasoned professional, and I am like your child . Sir, I agree with you, and I have also mentioned above (or the HR head can discuss with the concerned employee). I wrote this because many professionals have responded here regarding the same issue, and all mentioned the same thing. It is not a serious matter, but the concerned person is not satisfied with it. So, we only had the option that I mentioned.

Dear All, Thank you very much for the suggestions. I have spoken to the Head of HR, and he has agreed to talk to this person to resolve the issue. I appreciate each and every one of you for your time and support. I feel blessed to be a part of this wonderful forum.

Why is his behavior disturbing you so much? Just ignore him as he ignores you.

My suggestion is that, as others have also mentioned, it is a non-issue.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult situation with a colleague at your workplace. It's understandable that this behavior is causing you stress and demotivating you.

Have you tried speaking to a supervisor or manager?

Have you tried speaking to a supervisor or manager about the situation? They may be able to provide guidance on how to handle this colleague or facilitate a conversation between the two of you. It's also important to document any incidents or interactions with this colleague that have been negative or unproductive.

Consider speaking to HR

If speaking to a supervisor is not an option or does not yield any results, you can consider speaking to a human resources representative at your company. They can offer guidance on how to navigate this situation and ensure that your workplace remains a safe and respectful environment for all employees.

I hope this helps and that you find a resolution to this situation soon.

Best regards,
Vipin Pachouri