Navigating Cultural Traditions: MangalSutra in HR Policies

She can wear mangalsutra at her responsibility because the company can't interfere if any mishap happens regarding her mangalsutra. So, the company is looking out for employee safety, but she doesn't agree with the company policy. In this case, it is her responsibility.

Praj

I find it ridiculous that the HR has such a policy in vogue. A mangalsutra is something that has sanctity and nobody has the right to demand its removal on grounds that a married woman on roadshows is bad for the image of the company.

Having said that, two issues stand out. A via media has to be found whereby the lady in question may cover the item appropriately as has been suggested so that both her marriage vows and professional commitments are kept intact. It would also depend on whether marriage or the profession is more important for the lady. In case the latter is, and she is willing to move around without her mangalsutra in the office, it is okay - provided a tacit understanding is reached between her, her husband, and her in-laws. If marriage is important, then she is at liberty to quit the job and join one where married women are accepted without conditions attached.

Notwithstanding, such issues are purely personal and must be viewed in that light.

One more thing - image be damned, does a mangalsutra interfere with the efficiency of the employee concerned.

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The corrected text with proper paragraph formatting:

One more thing - image be damned, does a mangalsutra interfere with the efficiency of the employee concerned.

Hello,

Why don't you find out the reason behind it?

Is it:

a) Because they follow a certain dress code
b) or because they simply don't want people to think that the employee is married.

For IT/ITES recruitments, a few companies provide uniforms: Red t-shirt with the company name and the girls must only wear jeans, full length or 3/4ths. Why?

Some may say - to attract people
Some may say - to show that the company follows a casual work culture - so that youngsters are not bound to think that their freedom in dressing is lost (though there are company policies that later restrict such outfits that prove to look odd).

We can never attract good talent by dressing weird or by showing that we belong to a particular group. It's all in the way one carries themselves.

So - here your sister could discuss and find the exact reasons. If the removal of Mangal Sutra would cause a problem in the relationship, let her consider covering it, else - she needs to leave.

The reason is: If in case she accepts removing it and even if her husband is okay with that - one day she will hear "After all she is the girl who removed the mangal sutra for her job, won't she do something more worse?"

There are some people on this earth who are born to only kill others' peace... don't let your sis give such people a chance to mock at her - for no reason.

Let us know about the outcome.

Dear Partha,

The Mangal Sutra is not a symbol of slavery.

Look at this:

a) The Husband also wears a ring - representing that he is married.
b) Women also wear a ring - symbolizing that she is married.
c) Women like jewelry more than men (Of course you can ask a man to wear a 10 sov gold chain!)
d) The Mangal Sutra represents not a slavery relationship - but that the husband is responsible for the well-being of his wife. Under no situation will he let her face the struggles in life alone. He shall love no other woman but her. He will make sure that all the worries in her life are taken away. He will work hard and earn for a living while the wife promises to bear his kids and take care of their proper upbringing. They commit to a shared set of responsibilities.

If the Mangal Sutra or any other (every religion has a similar chain representing that the woman is married) is not there - Women will not be respected.

Also, when a guy sees that a woman is married, he should look at her with respect. A mother/a wife is considered to be representative of God.

Imagine, if a lady walks in tomorrow with a kid in her hand, but no thali or kumkum (or something symbolizing that she is married), people look at her differently.

It is a very important sign of the relationship. Never compare these things with other cultures (other countries)...we can't.

By the way - on a lighter side - who is the slave? The man or the wife? ;-)

Hi Harshal,

Since your sister is working as a radio jockey, it's pretty understandable the kind of people your sister might be interacting with. Her job may demand her not to disclose her marital status. I guess your sister would be interacting with high-profile individuals and celebrities. Alright, let's put it this way - if you want to open up to someone or need to get some work done (which is part of your job), you might prefer someone who is unmarried.

I suppose all radio jockeys are aiming to present their employees as youthful and energetic. The moment a female is married, we tend to categorize them as "aunty types," which unfortunately reflects the prevailing Indian mentality.

The best course of action would be to speak with HR and clarify the situation. Check the Employee Policy Manual if your company has one. Delve into it for more information.

Ultimately, it's your sister's decision.

Goodbye,
JJ

Hello there,

After so many replies, there is absolutely nothing left to comment on. So, I will try to draw some similarities to other cases where religious/sentimental/traditional/customary practices have come in the way of the profession and the reactions to it and the legal sanctity given to these practices worldwide.

The Sikhs wear a turban, grow a beard, and carry a knife as traditional practices linked with their religious beliefs. These practices have been contested worldwide by their employers. In many cases, judges have ruled that employers must respect these religious beliefs. Sikhs have been allowed to wear turbans in police and army jobs in Western countries. Similarly, there have been cases in the US, like Mohammed Ali's objection to warfare due to his religious beliefs.

Given this global context, the issue of wearing a Mangalsutra in India seems minor, as it is more of a pious duty linked to religious practices. Many individuals invest in western designer attire and jewelry. The Mangalsutra could be viewed as a piece of jewelry by the employer while being a significant item for the employee.

I believe both the employee and employer should be counseled on handling this matter delicately. Wearing a closed collar suit could resolve the issue while respecting the sanctity of the Mangalsutra without drawing unnecessary attention.

Regards,

To maintain both, let her hide the mangal sutra inside her blouse with a pin, and in no way should it come out. This way, she can satisfy her job as well as her marriage life, and let her convince her hubby about hiding the mangal sutra in the blouse. For a single person, the policy change is not possible by the organization.

With warm regards,

S. Bhaskar
9908732667

Hi Harshall,

Wearing a mangalsutra while attending roadshows is not a bad issue in our culture. Even the industry doesn't demand such things. As a whole, she needs to wear the mangalsutra for herself and for the organization; her dressing must be fashionable.

Take help from a fashion designer on how to include the mangalsutra in fashionable dressing to continue the job. But believe that these traditions need to be followed and respected; even the radio industry follows all traditional festivals.

Cheers,
M. Srinivas

Mangalsutra is mandatory by religion and culture in some sections of society in India, but it is not so in other parts (in other parts of India, maybe some other things are mandatory). Accordingly, people are sensitive and sometimes superstitious due to the strong belief that is carried forward through the culture.

I believe one has to be clear in mind about the priorities in life and live life accordingly. If something is non-negotiable, one should not compromise on it.

When something is in our culture and religion, even the government (the highest authority in the country) does not dare to enforce anything to its contrary (for example, Sardars using pagdi are not forced to wear a helmet or cap in the military/police/in general when it is otherwise mandatory for others by law/order). Therefore, no company/office can be above the government to enforce something that is contrary to the cultural/religious sentiment of the citizen.

Why change the job?

Why compromise by doing something to hide the practice of our culture and religion?

If the lady is really serious and sentimental about the Mangalsutra, she has every right to wear it with pride.

If she is not that serious and sentimental and makes a practical, conscious decision to do away with it, then the whole issue ceases there and then...

Regards,

Biswabhushan Behera

Hi there,

Let me provide you with a practical solution. Ask your sister to wear the mangalsutra at home, and when she reaches her office, she can simply put it in her purse and wear it again after office hours. This way, both her family and her employer will be happy. It's not wise to give up your job over this.

As a married woman who wears a mangalsutra, I have no hesitation in taking it off when needed. Your love for your husband is not affected either way.

I have experience managing one of the leading hotels where married women were asked not to wear the mangalsutra or sindoor. Every industry operates differently, and employees must adhere to the rules.

I hope this practical solution helps.

Cheers,
Nidhi

In just one week, 13 pages are being filled. This shows how sensitive this matter is. So, I don't think this matter is something where anyone is ready to compromise. If you read about it, nobody is ready to compromise on this matter except a few who don't understand the seriousness of the matter.

Please remember that the majority of the Indian public is conservative about their customs and culture.

This is part of a strategy where they now ask for removing the mangal sutra. They will then ask to remove things gradually until it becomes a complete stripping. Is that the place where we are going or being taken to? It is a matter of consciousness.

What I say is: Refuse it right away, any degrading demands. Be a bold Bharata Sthree.

My salute to you, go ahead.

Regards,

Viswanathan
Surat
viswanathji@rediffmail.com

Hi,

You can ask her to wear a gold chain, and the mangalsutra can be tied at the ends of the chain in yellow thread. The chain can be allowed to be inside her dress; there's no need to put it outside so that nobody knows whether it's a chain or mangalsutra. This practice is followed by most working ladies.

Jaya

Hi,

Let this not hurt anyone.
Mangalsutra, a part of religious culture and custom, to be removed for a job. A Bharatiya nari has to quit the job to uphold her custom and religious belief. She has to trade her age-old traditions to be employed. Are we not ashamed to discuss it? Today it is mangalsutra, tomorrow?

Yes, today she is a crowd-puller (You call her by any name like brand ambassador, etc.). Her job is to make the ratings go high, even if she has to undergo severe depression, humiliation at the hands of other family members... and finally a nervous breakdown... who bothers as long as the ratings are high?

Come on, women of Bharat, rise! Why don't you speak of your liberties? Don't let anyone encroach on your traditional values. Don't let anyone mold you into a saleable sex object. Rise and fight.

Seemraj

Dear Harshal Sharma,

I don't think there is something to worry about. The company has its own policy, and your family has its own culture. I don't think the company will be ready to change its policy, but maybe your family will.

It clearly shows that it won't be possible for your sister to remove the Mangal Sutra to protect her job, as she may have to undergo some hardship in her family as well.

Today, your sister may come to a decision to break your family culture to adjust with the company policy, but who knows, tomorrow she may be laid off for some silly reasons like a recession.

So, what is the use of creating some discomfort within your family members?

There is only one option in front of you.

Let your sister discuss this issue with the HR Department and try to find a solution. If the company is not ready to adjust to your situation, it's better to look for some other good opportunity in another firm.

Note: Don't mistake the HR Department, as this may be the policy of the company initiated by the owner for customer attraction, satisfaction, or service.

Hope nowadays most working women don't wear Mangal Sutra.

Thanks,

Don.

Hi,
I would like to ask, does the HR allow an ornament to be worn in the work place. :?:
If the answer is "yes" then my friend there is a simple solution. :idea:
In market there is numerous design where the upper half is a gold chain and the lower half is in made up of black bead ( I recently made one for my beloved wife on 10th anniv from India :-D ). Now a days it a fashion to wear small and trendy mangalsutra. Mostly females don’t display mangalsutra , it is always covered.
Well for outside world it’s a gold chain and for home it’s a mangalsutra.
This will I hope resolve the matter.
Bobby

Hello everybody,

I have been following up this thread for quite long and somehow I felt that there's a part of India with which I have still been untouched.

Myself being an Indian gal, born and brought up in a very cultured Hindu family with my mom being a typical traditional lady, I had never been taught that a wife's love for her husband is hidden inside her mangalsutra. All I knew was that it is another pious thing which Hindu married women wear to show that she are married and care for her husband, same like sindoor.

But as you can see in today's age, hardly any newly married lady prefers wearing sindoor. She is all decked up in high heels sandals, jeans, short tops, and sunglasses. Does that lessen her love for her husband or does she think ill of her husband while not wearing mangalsutra and sindoor?

I have always been taught of the linkage between souls and not the physical thing, and that's what I feel is the true bondage.

In today's world, the competition is so high that you need to be presentable and professional in your professional life in order to perform well, especially in a job like that of VJ, RJ, etc.

I strongly feel that one's intentions should be pious; after that, whether you wear a mangalsutra or not, it really doesn't matter. Moreover, you should sit with your husband and discuss the nature of the job with him.

I am sorry to say but somehow 90% of the entire conversation has shown the shallowness among the husband-wife relation wherein the love of the wife is completely dependent on an inanimate object like mangalsutra. Once again, it's not your outer cladding but your inner faithfulness and love which matters the most.

I would like to express my apologies to all those whose sentiments I might have unintentionally hurt, but all I want to say is: Let's have a rock-solid relation with our respective husbands wherein nothing and nothing can damage their trust in us females.

I am able to say this thing because last weekend when I participated in a fashion competition in Dubai, it was my darling hubby who came and took off my wedding ring (as it's a heavy gold ring) saying his wife should look the hottest contestant while posing. Though I stood only as a runner-up, my love for him has definitely increased manyfold.

Once again, my apologies and my assurance that this is just my point of view, so please don't take it otherwise.

I may look a bit oldie. Please read the Harishchandra Story. The Mangal Sutra needs to be worn but need not be displayed. The issue arises if you want to display it. And what is inside, I'm sure does not bother the Management. Our friends have poured out their personal views. What is the path to be taken? Personal views, with due respect, may not be right. And as HR professionals, we should be policy developers.

Our friend says pious intentions and Hindu traditions, why should one have the rituals and the ring if not Hindu? The great westerners. Ask them to dispense with that. It's easy to ask one to dispense with precedences but to implement for self. Firstly, why should we follow the western concept of management? The world is looking at Indian Management Techs, and we are looking for 'their' approval.

We used to have our father's name in our CVs and were proud to write. The so-called system is risky because at the time of submission it's one, during the interview it's second, and at the time of documentation, it is third. Instead of upholding ourselves, we are still upholding slavery and looking for 'their' approval for life.

Dear All,

In life, what matters is "what you chose when you are given an option"... not just "chose whatever".

To give more clarity - had I been given the ultimate choice of choosing the way I prefer to dress, I'd rather ignore all tradition (and still let people know that I am the same Asha when relationships are concerned, but just with a different outlook).

But when it comes to a matter of choosing between two options like - "choose to wear Mangal Sutra - and forget the job" and "Not wear the Mangal Sutra - have the job" - it's more like a condition imposed.

In such a situation, the couple (husband and wife) take a keen look into what choice the other makes. When there is no such condition imposed - I am sure the wife will not worry about NOT wearing the Mangal Sutra occasionally when she is dressed in a modern outfit (even the husband may think it's okay).

Thank you.

She can hide her mangalsutra by covering it with any veil that looks good. She can wear it with a long chain.

Dear Harshal,

I have gone through your query on cite HR.com, and I suggest that you ask your sister to remove the mangal sutra before reaching the office and to wear it after leaving the office. There should not be any restrictions on wearing the mangal sutra because it is a part of religion. According to the law, we can file a case against that news channel. Additionally, it could potentially become a political issue.

Thanks,
Naresh

Dear Harshal,

This is a very sensitive issue. Both parties (Organization and your Sister's Family) need to be flexible and come to a win-win situation. I am sure that in this tussle, your sister would be getting stressed out, which is not right as she won't be able to give 100% in both fields.

The family should take steps where instead of the traditional Mangalsutra, they should allow a new simple designer Mangalsutra. Today, we have a variety of Mangalsutras that are more like chains and not the traditional design. It would look like a Mangalsutra and at the same time, look like a chain.

The organization should also take a step ahead where they speak to her family and try convincing them. Also, give your sister the liberty to wear a Mangalsutra that doesn't look like a traditional one. They should also make it clear during the hiring process that Mangalsutras won't be allowed.

It's easy to get employees, but difficult to get dedicated employees.