Navigating Cultural Traditions: MangalSutra in HR Policies

Dear All,

I need your guidance in the following matter. My sister is working with a radio channel in Pune as a Radio Jockey. She is married and has been working with them for the last 2 years. As per the job requirements, she has to go out for interviews and road shows, etc.

Now, as she mentioned, it is not allowed for employees (married women) to wear mangalsutra as they have to go out in the field. This situation is creating some problems in her personal life. I seek your guidance on this matter. Is it possible to have a policy like this where employees are not allowed to wear a Mangalsutra?

Please guide me. You can also email me at my email id.

Thank you.

Hi,

This is a very sensitive issue as it impacts our culture. Please ensure that the mangal sutra is covered either by wearing it around the neck or by dressing in a way that covers the neck.

Hi,

It is a tricky issue. Let us try to understand the WHY behind what the company is asking her to do. After that, let us try to find out whether it was mentioned to her that she would be asked to adjust on these fronts at the time of joining the current job. I am not asking her to become a Jhansi Ki Rani, but asking the HR people for the rationale behind the same at the first stage would be the best thing to do.

Dear Harshal,

It is a balance of work and personal life peace that everyone looks at. It's not a luxury, but something we need - to be effective at work, as well as a balanced person in life.

I know certain families that are very particular about the lady who is married wearing mangal sutra, else they think that the husband's life will be in danger. It is a belief that only if a woman is a widow, she must not wear her mangal sutra.

Things have changed (not everywhere) but a few women out there do not wear it always. Maybe your sister is not in that group and is very much concerned about not wearing it (it kind of brings questions in their relationship like - "so she prefers work more than her husband's life").

This will become a huge issue in her life, and people (especially relatives) only need a reason to spoil someone's happiness.

As far as her side is concerned - guess she does not want to remove it either.

She needs to sit with the people (guess HR?) and ask the reason "why" the mangal sutra should not be worn.

I can understand if a tattoo has to be hidden, but why a mangal sutra? Will it bring a bad image? No ways.

Policies are meant for making the process better. A Tom, Dick, or Harry cannot be born all of a sudden and demand a change in an old traditional belief.

And before everyone could blame the HR - excuse me!

Vijay Mallya is the one who demands that the girls representing Kingfisher - must be sexy and wear minimal clothes (as a policy). So the lesson: HR is not bent upon such idiotic rules - it's the management (the owner). Can't help sometimes but live with it because it's a matter of your bread and butter.

Indirectly - letting someone be stupid in their thoughts lets you have your bread and butter! ;-)

Remember: If she chooses not to wear the Mangal Sutra - it's the relationship she weighs down. Jobs will come and go. Who knows, she may even be laid off tomorrow for any crap reason like a recession.

But Marriage is not like that. If she loses her job because of this - she will only be valued by people who should really matter to her (most importantly her hubby!)

Dear Harshal,

It is quite a sensitive issue, and you must deal with it diplomatically. First of all, we must understand that a working person has to compromise regarding certain traditional things when it comes to maintaining a balance between personal and professional life. I understand that if the lady is going out for public meetings and road shows, the mangalsutra would not look very professional. However, at the same time, it is affecting her personal life. As an HR professional, you need to sit and talk to her and advise her to build a stronger personal relationship wherein her husband or in-laws can understand the nature of her job. The final solution can only come through a healthy conversation. If this also doesn't work, then suggest to her to dress in a way that doesn't display her mangalsutra.

Regards, Sunita Saxena HOD-Human Resource

Usually, the entertainment industry focuses on body skills, and many young, unmarried women are working in radio, airlines, etc. These women need to be free, look good, and appear young in order to attract customers to the services. Otherwise, why would someone watch a roadshow if the person is wearing a mangalsutra and a saree? This is purely a choice for your sister. She can refuse to do roadshows or choose to leave her job. However, changing the policy seems impossible as "the show must go on."

This is a really sensitive issue. An Indian woman will never be happy to remove her mangalsutra at any cost. She has to convince the management or else, I suggest looking for a change. Job is not more important than the Mangalsutra. I am sorry if I hurt anyone here.

Similarly, in some industries, if an employee marries, they are seen as unfit for the job. For example, in the case of air hostesses, if they become pregnant, they can't perform the job. Therefore, most airlines prefer unmarried girls due to industry policy. Unfortunately, we can't change this, so please advise your sister to make decisions very carefully. Also, ask her to request exemption from roadshows.

Dear Harshal,

This is a normal issue. Every industry has its own requirements and specifications. We need to understand it. Perhaps this is the reason why Kareena Kapoor has refused to wear Saif's wedding ring for at least the next 2 years, as per a Times of India report. The film industry is glamorous. Once a superstar gets married, suddenly their professional charges fall. As far as radio jockeys are concerned, there is a similarity between them and film actors/actresses in terms of glamour.

There should not be any problem wearing a mangalsutra in the office premises, but when it comes to public interaction, the company may not allow wearing a mangalsutra. It may also be possible that the company would not allow wearing vermillion. This is solely due to the industry type. No issues.

With Regards,
A. Manjar

I think in a job, it is important to meet the professional requirements. She could either keep the mangalsutra in her purse during the interview or take 3 to 4 designs of simpler-looking mangalsutras to get approval from HR/Management. The management is asking to remove the mangalsutra only for a professional look.

Probably, if she wears a more stylish one with a thin chain and a very small pendant, it should work!

This is a really sorry situation, and HR, who is the key to resolving such sensitive issues, should come up with a solution where both the employee and the management are happy.

Wearing a mangalsutra is a religious sentiment, now hurting an employee's sentiments means demotivating him. I am sure the day she was told about this, she must have lived in stress, and I am 100% sure her performance graph must have started to dip.

If I am not wrong, even the labor law says that no action should be taken that would hurt the religious sentiments of any employee and also affect her married life. So no organization can force its employees to do anything that would hurt his/her religious sentiments. It should be the employee's free will whether to follow the ritual or not.

Being a frontline worker in any industry, one has to understand that grooming regulations need to be adhered to. With due respect to everyone's feelings, one has to understand that you have to dress in a certain manner while performing your job responsibilities as the front face. You can carry it with you and wear it while off from the job and take it off while at work. You just can't expect your employer to be too relaxed about dressing in any fashion you want while on duty as the face of the organization.

HR-wonder, I really wonder how far you have seen the Kingfisher crew and checked their grooming and uniforms, but I believe you have no right to make such comments on the uniform and staff of any esteemed organization. Please show some respect to others, and this will help you to attain it :)

Regards,

Sheetal Sehgal

As your sister is in a Catch-22 situation, the best solution is to wear a designer mangalsutra, which is available in the market. This mangalsutra is proper yet does not look like a traditional one. It can be worn with casual or corporate attire.

This way, both purposes are served - the sentiments of the girl's family are respected, and the organization's purpose is fulfilled.

Lest Sudarshan's reply goes unnoticed, I second his opinion. This seems to be an apt solution to the problem we have in hand. Good, short, crisp, and most importantly a thoughtful response, Sudarshan.

PD

This is a ridiculous HR policy. I do not know why our Indian companies are not respecting values, culture, and tradition. Can they be able to say the same with others...

Now, Obama wants the Indian system of education, but we are falling into the useless system of the West. Better to resign and find a good job.

I am not commenting on the HR policies, but in Indian law, NO EMPLOYER ON INDIAN SOIL CAN RESTRICT ANY EMPLOYEE FROM WEARING THE MANGALSUTRA OR APPLYING SINDOOR WHILE WITHIN THE TERRITORY OF INDIA. There is no second opinion on this law. This is the law.

I know mangalsutra is important, but there are ways she can tie it on her wrist. What I feel is she should talk to her husband about this, understand his perspective, take him into confidence, and then decide between wearing it as a job or as a mangalsutra. I'm a married girl and I do wear a mangalsutra around my neck, but I also tie it on my hand. You can do this; otherwise, it's your decision. Okay.

I would like to share this information with you all:

Mangalsutra - In many Hindu wedding ceremonies, the groom gives the bride a gold pendant or necklace incorporating black beads or black string. This is called a mangalsutra. It not only proclaims a woman's married state, it is believed by many to exercise a protective influence over the husband. That is, a wife's love and concern, as shown by her donning of the mangalsutra, is magically helpful to the husband. This resembles the Karwa Chauth celebration, in which a wife fasts and prays for her husband's welfare.

Dear All,

I appreciate the quick feedback from all of you. Everyone has provided one or more valuable inputs. Your inputs are really helpful for me to come up with a solution. "Broader views are always better to find a concrete solution," that's what I think.

Once again, thank you.

Saritha, my advice is not to wear mangal sutram on your hand, dear. There is a meaning for every culture we follow. I am sorry if I hurt you. Never play with mangal sutra. God bless you.

Yes, fine, ma'am.

It's my suggestion that I wear my Mangalsutra on my neck only.

Thanks, ma'am. You are older than me. I am not hurt at all. You are right; this is for our husbands' lives.

Thanks.

Well, these kinds of policies indirectly showcase women as 'objects'. The organization wants to differentiate between married and unmarried women. The management owes an explanation as to why they intend to do so.

Regards,
Shikha

Hi,

Sorry to interrupt, but I really need to ask this: What is a mangalsutra?

Regards,
Dennis Kong K.D.

Dear Dennis,

Nithya has already explained in one of her replies. For further explanation, you can always use Google.

Regards,
Shikha

Thank you for your question!

Mangalsutra - In many Hindu wedding ceremonies, the groom gives the bride a gold pendant or necklace incorporating black beads or black string. This is called a mangalsutra. It not only proclaims a woman's married state, it is believed by many to exercise a protective influence over the husband. That is, a wife's love and concern, as shown by her donning of the mangalsutra, is magically helpful to the husband. This resembles the karwa-chauth celebration, in which a wife fasts and prays for her husband's welfare.

Koi maieee ka laal usko force nahin kar sakta utarne ke liye. Unless she succumbs to the pressure. Just give one dirty look to the person concerned and all will be ok. Stand up and speak sps.

Dear,

Tell your sister... She must protest.

Advise her to contact electronic media channels such as Aaj Tak, Zee TV, NDTV, etc.

Dada

Dear Sheetal,

Regarding "attainment of respect" - I don't think I have to fake myself to attain the same. You need to be yourself first - speak your views and not be overly polished when you have to speak at the right spot.

And why would I mention Kingfisher: Please check their yearly calendar. I would say as a guy - it's great! ;-)

Do you know that the IPL season had issues with the girls in red? I completely agree with K Ravi's views. It's true - just to seek attention, people (especially owners) do this.

My point here is - don't think that HR creates such "policies." It's the owner or the management themselves. Would appreciate if you'd stick to what's being discussed.

Being a front liner for any industry, one has to understand that grooming regulations need to be adhered to. With due respect to everyone's feelings, one has to understand that you have to dress up in a certain manner while performing your job responsibilities as a front face. You can carry it with you and wear it off from the job, and take it off while on the job. You can't expect your employer to be too relaxed about dressing in any fashion you want while on duty as the face of the organization.

Hr-wonder, I really wonder how far you have seen Kingfisher crew and checked their grooming and uniform, but I believe you have no right to pass such comments on the uniform and staff of any esteemed organization. Please give some respect to others, and this will help you to attain it :)

Regards,
Sheetal Sehgal

No HR has the right to force you to remove your mangalsutra. It is your choice to wear it or not. What you can do is simply tuck the mangalsutra in, and as you will be wearing T-shirts, no one will be able to see it. If anyone tries to force you, ask where it is stated in the policy when you joined them. Just because you cannot remove your mangalsutra, nobody can terminate your employment.

I feel the policy is to make your life happy and to help smooth the flow of work. However, there are times when you have to compromise according to company policies, like working in alternative shifts or going places to promote the company. These things are surely discussed before hiring people, and their concerns are always taken into consideration. But certain things cannot become policies, like if you want a promotion, you should not get pregnant and other sensitive matters. I feel this is a very sensitive issue and should not be compromised. You work to earn self-respect and prosperity, so please speak about this. If you feel this is something you can't compromise on, you shouldn't be doing it.

Regards,

Ranjan Kumar

I don't find this to be a big issue! I think she must go for it, i.e., she must carry on with her mangalsutra if her husband is not allowing. Otherwise, if he would be understanding, there will never be a problem. I wish no job will restrict any lady to wear a mangalsutra. In India, it's not yet a monopoly of HR to restrict their employees to go against culture and tradition. I think collective bargaining will be the right way to solve such a problem. Go directly to HR and tell them it's very important for me to carry on with this, rest covering up the neck, putting it in the purse, etc., are the secondary options.

Remember, don't mix professional and personal life. For one's sake, you have to sacrifice for the other. Best of luck and do tell me the result.

A mangalsutra (also mangala sutra or mangalasutra) is an Indian symbol of Hindu marriage, consisting of a gold ornament strung from a yellow thread, a string of black beads, or a gold chain. It is comparable to a Western wedding ring and is worn by a married woman until her husband's death.

Mangalsutra is one such symbol of marriage. It is not just a jewelry item; it has lots of significance to an Indian married woman. It is a sacred thread of love and goodwill worn by married women as a symbol of their marriage.

The groom ties it around the neck of the bride on the day of their marriage, signifying their union. It is known by different names in different states of the country.

According to Hindu culture, there are five signs of marital status of women. They are mangalsutra, toe rings, kumkum, bangles, and a nose ring. Mangalsutra is the most important among them.

The word mangalsutra means an auspicious thread or cord.

Nithya, thanks for taking the discussion to the right path. For a woman, the most important priority should be her family rather than a job.

We should never compromise on our values, ethics, and culture. We are following the West, but it's not good in the long run.

India gave culture to the world (Indus Valley civilization), and we are forgetting it.

The HR or management of such organizations should take this into account.

And how can shoes be worn on the neck, a hat on the foot, a wristwatch on the neck?

Please value our tradition... A request to all Indians.

Hello Dear,

To solve this problem, your sister must talk with the HR Department or remove the Mangalsutra while on duty, and vice versa, or consider changing jobs.

You see, every company and work profile has certain norms that need to be followed.

Regards,
Nitika
HR Executive

URL: [Lakme Revlon Deny Female Staff Marriage Symbols - Sachiniti](http://sachiniti.wordpress.com/2007/11/14/lakme-revlon-deny-female-staff-marriage-symbols/)

Read this article.

Please let me know if you need any further assistance or information.

What's this funny stuff?

Employees are not shareholders in the company but may be involved in the management of company affairs. Employers' regulations affecting the freedom and religious sentiments of employees should match professional requirements.

Your sister has to decide whether her act of temporarily setting aside her mangalsutra during office hours will harm her emotional attachment or loyalties to her husband.

Partho

Dear Harshal,

It's a sensitive issue. The HR in that organization should be aware of Indian culture, whether it is an Indian company or an MNC, as long as that company exists in India. This can be directly addressed with the concerned HR. We cannot modify Indian culture, but we can always alter corporate culture as long as the employee is happy. Employee satisfaction is important.

Thank you.

Dear Friend,

It is a bit sensitive issue. A traditional Indian lady always expects to wear a mangalsutra before marriage. Once it is around her neck, her happiness is unlimited. Even if her husband agrees, she won't do it.

My advice is to let her discuss this with her husband so that both can make a decision. This is purely a husband and wife decision. Before that, I would like to know why the employer is objecting.

Regards,
Raveesh

You're right, Raveesha. I feel the same - wearing it or not does not affect the relationship at all. It's about the understanding between the two.

Dear, I think it's not the employee, but the employer who is mixing personal and professional issues. By asking the employee to not wear a mangalsutra, the employer is actually asking her to pose as an unmarried girl; hence I say it's the employer who is mixing up personal and professional issues.

"I don't find this to be a big issue!! I think she must go for it, i.e., she must carry on with her mangalsutra if her husband is not allowing; otherwise, if he would be understanding, there will never be a problem. I wish no job will restrict any lady to wear a mangalsutra. In India, it's not yet a monopoly of HR to restrict their employees to go against culture and tradition. I think collective bargaining will be the right way to solve such a problem. Go directly to HR and tell them it's very important for me to carry on with this. The rest, covering up the neck, putting it in the purse, etc., are secondary options.

Remember, don't mix professional and personal life. For one's sake, you have to sacrifice for the other. Best of luck and do tell me the result."

Dear Harshal,

I think your question can be analyzed in two ways:

1) As per the job requirement, she has to go out for interviews, road shows, etc.

Now, as she said, it is not allowed for employees (married women) to wear mangalsutra when they have to go out in the field.

Going out for a roadshow and interview is in agreement, but is there any written clause in the agreement that prohibits wearing a Mangalsutra? If nothing is specified, you can claim the company for an unlawful act. Otherwise, this has to be decided by the court of law. Every job has its own meaning to implement in work action, but matters affecting religious aspects should be decided mutually or by the legal provisions of the country. To my knowledge, such restrictions are prohibited, but on mutual agreement, they can be enforced.

b) When you look at personal values, you can consider two suggestions given by other friends: i) Wearing a designed Thali, or ii) Looking for an alternative job.

Based on this, I suggest seeking the opinion of your sister and her husband. I also strongly recommend looking into the future, as this should not create any problems between husband and wife. You can earn money from a job, etc., but not at the expense of personal relationships and feelings.

Cheers,

Ajay

Hi,

Companies should not be asked to do so as it's a cultural issue. Companies should not hire married women if it is affecting their business.

Hi,

I have been tracking this post. What I feel is that the company's decision is the need of the hour. I am not defending the company, but considering the type of industry it is, one has to conform to certain standards. For instance, if you are a cleaner in a company, you have to wear the uniform that a cleaner wears. Take, for example, the hotel industry. Females working in the front office are required to wear a saree, which is mandatory. A Muslim individual who has a particular perception regarding a burkha may not accept this requirement.

I believe it is driven by industry demands, and there is nothing wrong with the company or the employees.

Regards,
Vikas

Join my SMS channel Jobs_Jobs by sending JOIN Jobs_Jobs to 9870807070. This service is free for recruiters and job seekers.

First, take positive vibrations from this issue and ask yourself. The media line is different from all other sectors. In some hotel industries, these kinds of things are not allowed. Maybe you can ask your management about the benefits and disadvantages for our business of wearing a mangalsutra during working hours. Most importantly, the feelings should be developed in the heart, not just by wearing things.

Regards,
Anju

Dear Harshal,

The TV programs need to be made attractive to the viewers. The competition is so high in the market that HR also comes under a lot of pressure and makes decisions that may not sound very logical. However, I do not think that minor issues like applying sindoor, bindi, and mangalsutra should be taken seriously. When someone is an actor, they are supposed to wear different attires and look different according to the need. Hence, the question of wearing certain items should be considered a minor issue, and we should all move past it. It is certain that Indian traditional jewelry cannot be mixed up with western outfits.

I suggest that the husband-wife relationship should be made much stronger than these decorations. In society, there will always be diverse opinions, but we should not be concerned. Ultimately, success is what is always respected, and there will always be admirers of a successful person. Go Bindas.

Prithvi

Dear,

This is absolutely not acceptable because it is going to destroy our culture. There is nowhere mentioned that Mangalsutra is not allowed. You should challenge your management on this.

Best Regards,
Sajid Ansari
Delhi

In India, the mangalsutra is given a lot of weightage. But I believe the decision lies entirely with the lady wearing it. The two choices I see are: 1. either carry it in your purse at work 2. wear a designer one.

Let's get thinking, members. We see many lady anchors on TV, but how many of them have their mangalsutras on? It depends totally on the occasion, I believe. If it's a show they are hosting, it's not visible. But if they are attending a wedding or something personal that is covered, they are seen wearing one.

So it's all about making a wise choice. If the lady feels the mangalsutra is very important to be around the neck at all times, then she is free to resign from her job. Marriage is an institution between two people and their minds and hearts.

As mentioned earlier, we need to groom ourselves as per the needs of the work environment. Thank you.

Why does your sister wear a mangalsutra? She is married. To whom does she want to show that she is married? Only to herself? What happens if she does not wear a mangalsutra? My view is that if you are from a traditional family and it is necessary to wear a mangalsutra, try to hide it however you can. Otherwise, try to mark "mang" on the forehead very slightly. I see many working women who neither wear a mangalsutra nor "mang". Kindly excuse me if I hurt you.

Hi,

This is a million-dollar question. Government should frame rules and regulations on the subject matter as Mangal Sutra represents our culture and tradition. Government's intervention in this regard is solicited. MNCs and others, so-called modern cultured companies, should give more importance to the culture and tradition of the society where they operate. It's a really sensitive issue that needs to be attended.

India has always been liberal in following any religion, culture, and custom that her people follow. Every company working in India should respect the varied Indian culture.

In the media or fashion world (e.g., Lakme/Revlon), I don't find a convincing reason why a woman should be unmarried in promoting their products/services. I think people should be bold, open, and modern enough to accept our Indian culture to pursue any business in India. Even in Western culture, wearing a wedding ring or engagement ring is completely legal and falls under the standards set by any HR department there.

After the lengthy discussion we had here, here are the takeaways:

1. Wear a long mangalsutra that can be hidden. A high-neck smart skivvy can help. Even a well-pinned scarf can assist. (Urmila Matondkar did this in a picture.)

2. Wear a designer mangalsutra that does not look like a traditional one, thus respecting your culture.

3. If your employer cannot provide a genuine reason for not wearing a mangalsutra, they cannot force you to abstain from wearing one. Check if this is specified in the offer letter. If not convinced, consider looking for another job as there are many options available.

4. While many female workers choose not to wear mangalsutras or any marriage symbols, this could be because they are ashamed of their marriage (I understand this might offend some). For those who respect their marriage, they can select any of the options mentioned above. Trying to convince one's husband to allow not wearing a mangalsutra may diminish respect in his eyes.

It's up to individuals on how they balance work and personal life. How they persuade their employer is their choice. Remember, there is always the option to say no at the right time.

If you disagree with my comments, please speak up; otherwise, India is at high risk and may sink in this world.

Best of luck and God bless in achieving success in your career and personal life.

Each country has its own tradition and cultures. Changing of culture and tradition will prove dangerous to the society in the long run, and I personally feel that today's people who argue that there is nothing wrong in changing cultures will realize that what they have told is "utter nonsense and blunder" if they are alive at that stage.

"Values" bind a person in a society and show the quality of a person. However, in today's modern world, the value of human life is decreasing day by day, and for "money's sake," people are doing all sorts of "rubbish." The above case is a classic example of how everything is turning into business. Today, all fields (education, medicine, politics, etc.) have become businesses, and now it is also affecting culture.

Is the radio channel running a "bride show" competition? Anyhow, if you ask me how to decide, it depends on the "value" a person who chooses. Either she should go by "ethics" or "money." Decide for yourself.

R. Badhrinath Sr. Manager - Human Resources

It is not only illegal but insulting for any HR department to impose such a rule. A mangalsutra is a religious choice, and no one can dictate terms on this. There have been cases worldwide where religious sentiments have been respected, even by MNCs.

If the HR department pushes your sister further, I strongly suggest she file a case with the appropriate courts. I guarantee her support from many sections of society.

It's basically not right and unethical to say that one should not wear a mangal sutra during road shows.

As an Indian and a Hindu religious person, there cannot be any deviation from the religious beliefs.

The job can be changed for the sake of a good reason. It's foolish to think of staying away from wearing it and then putting it back on.

KB

Sister is working as a radio jockey, so the mantra is not seen on TV.

The second issue relates to family. If it is acceptable by the husband and family, then where the issue exerts. This mantra gives you only respect and maturity and helps for good support.

Dear,

This is not at all a sensitive issue. The other members are making it sensitive. We are Indians, and we have our culture, rituals, and beliefs. We are Hindus, and wearing a mangalsutra is a part of our custom which we cannot stop because of any company. There is no such policy anywhere; it's all man-made. It is part of westernization. So ask your sister to oppose this and ask her to do it collectively. If a woman wears a mangalsutra and goes for field work, and if she doesn't wear it and goes for work, I don't understand what the difference in working will be. Dear, I think all these policies are rubbish, so we all should oppose this; otherwise, we Indians will lose our identity in India itself. If it were in some foreign country, then we could understand that. But in India, I can't digest.

Regards,
Suresh

Dear Harshal,

HR policies are meant to be followed, not argued, just like traditions. We have come a long way; now, it's the trend and fashion that matter the most. You can ask your sister to purchase a mangal sutra, which is more fashionable and serves the purpose of both work and relationships. Maybe this could be the solution, or else others have already given you suggestions.

All the best, hope you will find a solution.

Mayank Akole

Dear Sunitha,

I really don't understand this type of professionalism where she has to face the real problem. This is really spoiling our culture and tradition. I myself, being an HR professional, don't agree with this. Even though she convinces her in-laws and husband, she will face a problem in her personal life.

She has to confirm first that before her employment, the employer had informed her about all these issues, and then she has to speak to her supervisor/head regarding this.

Chitra

Hi,

Companies are in business; it's a religious matter, OK, but why are you not seeing it from a business point of view? In HR, we have to work as change agents as well. Tomorrow, someone may say it's their religion to wear a burqa while working as a radio jockey. Does that make any sense? I think religion is not attached to sindur, kirpan, kara, burqa, and all that stuff. Dear, please first have a healthy discussion with your HR and think broadly. Either you quit the job or adapt yourself according to the situation, but don't complain and try to be happy. If your sister quits her job today, will these so-called relatives arrange bread and butter for her? Traditions are fine, but if they become obstacles in our way, I personally feel that we should change ourselves according to the demand.

Regards,
Satnam Singh

The best solution that I could think of is to help her family members (in-laws and husband) understand the nature of her work and job requirements. Try to make them realize that she is working for the benefit of the family itself.

Hope this will be effective. Good luck to you and your sister.

Best Regards,
Mrunmai

Dear Harshal,

Let us take a look at a different angle. Did you know that hostesses in established airlines are grounded after marriage? Perhaps these corporate houses have had career planning where they thought that women would be more productive after gaining experience in flying. This is again a part of the company's policy.

Now, tell me, don't your sister's husband or her in-laws want her to start a family? How do you expect her to meet the public during her 5th or 7th month of pregnancy? Her role may not allow her to be physically comfortable to perform those tasks. These are acceptable facts that our minds allow us to accept and change. We can also challenge those employers/bosses and say, "I can still do it," but for what? Why invite trouble, my friend?

Mangalsutra is indeed a prominent and permanent icon representing a married woman in Hindu tradition. I doubt if any HR would have a policy as you mentioned. Similarly, if HR states that their female representatives are in the roles you mentioned, they would have considered various perspectives for the benefit of their employees and the organization's public image. It's nothing personal about your sister or the Mangalsutra.

Your words carry a lot of emotion, Harsha. I apologize if I have hurt you. She can do many things provided we know what she enjoys doing... IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.

Thank you for taking the time to read my view.

Kind regards,

I do agree with Divya. Keep the mangalsuttra in your purse while on the job and wear it whenever you are out of a job.

Hi,

As we all know, a company is more powerful than an individual employee. A company cannot compel any female employee to not wear a mangalsutra if there is no specific provision embodied in the appointment Terms & Conditions.

Dear,

First of all, we should respect our Indian culture. When it comes to this problem, it is very tricky. One thing that can be done is why doesn't she delegate her job within the organization.

Dear Mr. Akhilesh,

Well said about our culture. I do respect this as an HR. There are limits for everything. We cannot sacrifice all of these just for professionalism.

Chitra

Dear Harshal,

All policies of the organization will be written within the framework of the law of the land. In India, wearing a mangalsutra is a tradition accepted by Hindu law. Just because of their policies, you need not remove or resign. Take up the matter appropriately with management. Just because you are not adhering to their conditions, which are contradictory to the law of the land, they cannot take action. So be brave and fight. For example, wearing a turban in France is prohibited, but the Sikh community fought and won.

Thank you.

First of all, check the documents you submitted at the time of joining to see if HR mentioned anything about this. If they did, inquire why. I don't think any HR professional would ask such an unrealistic thing, considering they are also from India based on my belief. Please seek clarification from HR and resolve this matter; otherwise, you have many options available within your sphere.

Hi,

No management will ask to remove mangalsutra. They might prefer covering it with clothing due to the conditions of work. Work is important; however, nowhere do the working conditions suggest that females should not wear mangalsutra.

Hi Harshal,

First of all, as a policy, HR cannot object to wearing a mangalsutra as it is against the fundamental rights given by the Indian Constitution to practice/follow any religion. They can only request your sister not to display the mangalsutra prominently but to hide it inside her top/dress. There are some companies/TV channels that follow the above practice, and as it also concerns the sentiments of not only the employee but the society around her, I suggest that your sister talks to the HR.

For your information, the erstwhile Air India, which used to ground cabin crew once they got married, lost a case in court and had to allow them to continue working as cabin crew. It is something else if your sister wishes to remove her mangalsutra, but HR cannot pressurize her to remove the mangalsutra but can, at best, request her not to display it too prominently.

Maybe someone in the forum can give a legal opinion on this as I feel that any kind of pressure can be considered illegal given the fact that the Indian Constitution provides for freedom to practice any religion.

Regards,

Krishnan

I think she needs to have a talk with the management and should make an effort to convince them, since I guess there are no laws made in India that a woman could not wear a mangalsutra at work. Definitely, this is a serious situation and needs to be handled seriously.

The difference of thoughts and priorities-based reply :) Good attempts.

I would rather explain the situation and suggest a solution through "Self-Reference Criteria."

Many times it happens that your SRC does not work for the situation that you need to deal with. Come up with a solution that lies within the problem itself.

The problem is not that your sister is not allowed to wear a Mangalsuthra, but the root cause is the nature of her job.

When it comes to HR policies of any company, it should align with the vision, mission, and objectives of the organization. It has to be -I must say.

Specific to wearing a Mangalsuthra or not should be driven by the success of the road shows and public interviews. If your sister can achieve better results by wearing a Mangalsuthra, I do not think even the owner or top executive of the organization would question it. This is the beauty of the private sector. The bottom line is good results. The one who can justify their actions is the winner. If your sister can justify wearing what she wants and delivering what she is expected to contribute to the organization, I do not think any such issue will arise in the future.

As an HR person, I always aim to create "Employee-Friendly HR Policies" with the theme - By them, For them - Believe me, it works very well in practice.

Hi hr_wonder,

We should understand that while passing any comments to others, we should not be so rude that we forget basic politeness. Be yourself but don't quote organizations/people unnecessarily. You yourself enjoy and check out the Kingfisher calendar but still condemn Vijay Mallya.

Kingfisher models choose to participate in such shoots, but I believe models are not forced into calendar shoots. It is entirely with their consent. It is clear that it depends on them whether they want to opt for it or not. It is their decision, and it is about their limitations.

Coming back to the main issue, we can look for various solutions, such as designing a mangalsutra that can be hidden under your dress or removing it while on duty. This approach will help her to follow the grooming regulations of the organization where she has been working for the past two years and simultaneously adhere to the customs she believes in.

Have a good day.

Regards,

Sheetal Sehgal

Quote:

hr_wonder Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Bangalore

Posts: 10

Dear Sheetal,

Regarding "attainment of respect" - I don't think I have to fake myself to attain the same. You need to be yourself first, speak your views, and not be polished when you have to speak at the right moment.

And why would I mention Kingfisher: Please check their yearly calendar.

As a guy, I would say it's great!

Did you know that the IPL season had issues with the girls in red?

I completely agree with K Ravi's views. It's true - people, especially owners, do such things just to seek attention.

My point here is - don't think that HR creates such "policies." It's the owner/management themselves.

I would appreciate it if you stick to what's being discussed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheetalsehgal

Being a frontliner for any industry, one has to understand that grooming regulations need to be adhered to.

With due respect to everyone's feelings, one has to understand that you have to dress in a certain manner while performing your job responsibilities as a front face. She can carry it with her, wear it while off from the job, and take it off while on the job. You can't expect your employer to be too relaxed about dressing in any fashion you want while on duty as the face of the organization.

Hr-wonder, I really wonder how much you have seen the Kingfisher crew and checked their grooming and uniform, but I believe you have no right to pass such comments on the uniform and staff of any esteemed organization. Please show some respect to others, and this will help you attain it.

Regards,

Sheetal Sehgal

Dear Sheetal,

I don't condemn Vijay Mallya - I love his work. :-) Well, coming back to the issue: I want to get this into everyone's head - IT IS NOT THE HR WHO DESIGNS SUCH POLICIES. IT IS THE OWNER/MANAGEMENT!

Hope you got my message.

Dear Mr. Singh,

Absolutely correct. I agree with your comments.

I am surprised to read some of the comments posted by our friends who are in favor of discouraging the use of Mangalsutra, which is supposed to be an anti-social mindset against Hindu tradition.

Hai ki nahi !!!

Ramesh Karasi.

Why can't people carry on with their traditions and beliefs if it doesn't hurt anyone's sentiments or business?

Tomorrow, the management might say that wearing a saree or turban is against the corporate policy. It's not about what attire you wear, but the attitude and aptitude towards your profession that can take you places and help you move up the corporate ladder.

Though we all, as professionals, should try to confine ourselves to business attire, it doesn't mean that not abiding by it in a sacrosanct manner would have any grave effect on our profession.

As far as the 'Mangal-sutra issue' is concerned, the individual must introspect (perhaps discuss with their spouse too) before raising the matter with HR. Once she is convinced that what she is asking for is right, only then should she proceed to fight for it, asking the management for substantial reasons to not wear a mangal-sutra.

It's also about the dignity of a woman. It's high time we start raising our voices and concerns against the absurd decisions of management. HR is the face of the organization.

Yes, Runnu, you are right!! Mangal sutra is made from the tradition and culture of the husband's family. The design, style, weight, everything matters in mangal sutra. For example, my mangal sutra is half Sovereign weight; it's quite a big one. We cannot modify any mangal sutra design at any cost; we need to follow the customs of generations of the husband's family.

At the same time, North Indians wear very small pendant-like things; they must not change it to a bigger one. It has a lot of meaning in it. Work is not greater than a mangal sutra according to me. Culture definitely cannot be stopped.

My suggestion - Talk to HR and understand why the current policy is in place. They need to provide valid reasons for the policy in force. Secondly, if the rationale is correct and viable, then accept it. However, if it's not, then inquire further. In my opinion, as a RJ (and having traveled around), wearing a mangalsutra should not by any chance affect anything. I do not recall the last time I heard a RJ on my car radio wearing a mangalsutra. RJ's do not project themselves on screen and are not visible to the eyes. Therefore, wearing a mangalsutra shouldn't be an issue in the first place.

It's possible that the parent organization (if it's not an Indian firm) has banned employees from wearing necklaces or anything around their necks. This is reasonable and viable. However, necklaces or other accessories do not necessarily impact culture and act as an accessory. In our case, the Mangalsutra is not merely an accessory; it holds significance in Hindu law. No employer can violate the law of the land.

Talk to HR and keep us posted.

Dear Harshal,

As this is a very sensitive issue, she can still wear a Mangal sutra with a plain long gold chain (without black beads) like South Indians, and she can put it inside her dress. It will look similar to any other chain.

With Regards, Nandini M S

Hi, I think it's a very complicated issue. But first of all, I think it's a very stupid policy. Is carrying a mangalsutra affecting her performance? Not at all. She must discuss with management and try to express her viewpoint on this matter. Even she should try to find out the reason for the same. Is this the same policy for every married lady in the office, or is she the only person suffering here? If, for any reason, management is not ready to change the policy, then she needs to handle it diplomatically, like carrying the mangalsutra in her bag or doing something that she feels is suitable according to the company.

However, I believe she should consider looking for a new job because a company with such issues may not be worth working for her.

If my statement hurts anyone, then I apologize.

Dear Harshal,

The policy is unjust and goes against Article 25 of the Indian constitution. She can wait for an official memo and then take the organization to court to seek compensation for it. Remember, someone needs to start it, and others will follow. (First Rule of Revolution)

Hi,

What I suggest to you is that you currently have two options: either change the department within the same company (if you prefer to continue working in that company) or simply cover the mangalsutra with appropriate clothing.

Hello, that is my engagement snap, yaar!

In marriage, they only tie the mangal sutra... don't joke about sentiments, Ravi.

Please let me know if you need any further assistance.

It depends on the work profile and in the entertainment industry, it is preferred that even married women look unmarried.

Dear all,

I would like to say something - if we accept modernization in today's era, then why do we cling to traditional customs? Different job categories lead to different situations. In relation to such jobs, both girls and guys tend to seek more entertainment in their unmarried lives. Everybody desires it.

Thank you,
Harish Kumar
9259736911

Hi,

It is part of our Indian culture, and in any employment setting, wearing a Mangalsutra is not objectionable.

Madhava Reddy

Harshal,

Was this message a part of your sister's offer letter? If there was anything mentioned, she needs to adhere to the policy until she finds a better job or decide to quit and wait for a new opportunity if the management remains unconvinced. If nothing is documented on paper, she can assert her rights with the management. One does not have to abide by verbal policies; she has the advantage of standing up for herself. However, if I were in that situation, I would not sacrifice my personal life for my professional one. As mentioned by others, jobs may come and go, but marriage, according to Indian customs, happens only once. I would choose to maintain a healthy relationship with my husband if he is sensitive about the issue.

Regards,
Kavitha.

Looking from a broader perspective ,if a policy like not allowing wearing mangal sutra during public appearance has been made, it clearly indicates that being “married” is an issue as it will deter public at large to flock around during a road show or some thing of that nature.
But since flocking is what is required (For an RJ flocking is a barometer of popularity=Better brand visibility=Better revenue) wearing a mangal sutra doesn’t help at all. So best alternative will be to switch to such a job where being married is not an issue, otherwise similar issues will keep on arising.

Hi,

You know it's not only about wearing a mangalsutra in public; it's also about certain HR policies worldwide that contradict personal liberty. For example, in the US, they would not allow you to wear a scarf around your head.

Organizations in the mainstream corporate world have, over the years, tried to become more culture-sensitive. However, they still have a long way to go before they can fully assimilate national culture into their organizational culture.

It's disheartening to see an Indian organization not being sensitive to the cultural needs of an Indian employee.

In this case, it's better to come out of the shell and talk to HR directly. Don't think about changing the job right now over this issue if everything else is okay. But if there is an option and all negotiations fail, then consider making a change.

It's surprising to see that while we are ready to accept Western culture in the organizational space, we are sometimes forced to give up our own culture. This is a serious issue.

Anirban Banerjee

The issue is very sensitive from a religious point of view and must be respected as an individual choice and duty to society at large. Everyone must remember that India is a Hindu majority country, and the irony is that the typical removal of the mangalsutra is asked by none other than a Hindu himself or herself, which is a tragedy.

I am sure that no one dares to ask Muslim women to remove the burka. We have to remember that not everyone is fortunate enough to be born with a silver spoon, as others suggest relinquishing the job itself. In the worst-case scenario, we must seek help from the court, as India is a free country, and the judiciary does work diligently.

Govind Rana

Dear Harshal,

It is indeed a tricky situation. Let your sister make the decision after discussing with HR, as our friend has already advised you. In some industry types, it is a requirement that you can't wear ornaments, tattoos, signs, or marks, etc. For example, in the hotel industry, it is not allowed to wear any ornament if you are a chef, specifically in the kitchen.

Jobs may come and go, but I believe that just because of the strict nature of HR policies/traditions, you don't have to be a scapegoat. All the best.

ShajiN

This is one of those policies that have sprung from the brilliantly weird HR guy (although I am also one). This policy lacks rationale; unless there is a convincing rationale, it should be flouted without any fear. There shall be many more like her in the same organization. Therefore, first question it and seek rationale. If you are convinced, then only follow it.

There are companies and jobs that have grooming standards, but there is rationale to it, e.g., an air hostess that has a uniform may not allow a bindi to ensure that there is uniformity or restrict as to what should be visible. There are companies that ban rings, other than the wedding/engagement rings, for employees that are customer-facing. The restriction must pass the test of reasonability and functionality; otherwise, it can be called arbitrary.

Pramod.

I firmly believe that the values of an organization should echo through the values of its people and those who govern them. Values like respect and humility for every person, from all cultures, irrespective of marital status, sex, caste, etc., should be of paramount interest. A culture that can't show respect for these primary things is not worthy of being called so.

The dignity of employees and their sensibilities should be taken care of. The lady in question should consult HR about solutions that are constructive, ethical, and value-driven in nature. If required, people should be made to understand the importance of treating employees with due respect and dignity. If the decision remains unchanged, the company is not worth working with.

Dear all,

Wearing a mangalsutra or not is a personal decision, or it might be the demand of professional life. I have no special comments on this, but after going through all the posts, one can easily make out that serious sensitization, orientation, and training on Gender and Development are required by many people.

Dear All,

I see a different picture. But before commenting, a few clarifications are needed: Is it a non-Indian company or Indian? Where were the dress code and other guidelines signed by the employee? Was she married before this job or during this job? What is the gravity of the job?

Thank you.

The issue must be taken up with management. It is a question of your values and it in no way hampers performance. In case the 'selection rules' had stipulated that married ladies will not be recruited for this job, compliance can be demanded. Otherwise, no. Tomorrow it will be 'sindhoor' and so on.

Take on the challenge and meet HR.

Wishing you all the best,

Harry

Company has liberated your sister from draconian practices of the so-called "MANGALSUTRA," a symbol of slavery of women to man. Today's world offers many opportunities to women, and these feudal systems in the name of religion, culture, and sentiments have only distorted the image of women over the years and centuries.

Indian women have to overcome these issues. I appreciate management's stand not to entertain medieval age practices when society, by and large, was male-dominated, and they were inculcating practices to satisfy the male ego, viewing women as commodities and material.

Although I disagree with this issue having no HR angle, it's purely related to management practices in a particular business environment.

Partho

Dear All,

I am neither trying to jeopardize the traditional values and emotions connected to wearing a mangal sutra but expressing my views on this sensitive issue.

For a married woman, all ornaments have significance, and the same is related to her husband in some way. I mean, she should wear ornaments when she is with family members or in a family setting. When it comes to a professional environment, professionals have their own set of rules based on business guidelines. In such settings, where we meet different people every day for business needs, such adornments are not necessary. Do not make the Mangal Sutra an issue that is quite personal to you. Keep it with you in your purse, and when returning to your family, put it on. Your husband and in-laws will be happier to see you respect their values and traditions.

Yes! In a professional setting, I do not believe that the Mangal Sutra, Chudaa, and other items that women employees wear are required.

For example, why do women not wear nose pins, nathni, or maang tikka in the office? It is because they may feel somewhat uncomfortable with all these bridal jewelry items during work. Similarly, the mangal sutra can also be avoided during working hours.

Regards,... Shiv

Looks like her company is indirectly telling her that she has committed a crime by getting married. This is really disheartening! I personally feel she was recruited for her potential and skills, not because she is expected to remain single forever. She should assert her stance by stating that she will wear her mangalsuthra while working. If the situation does not improve, please advise her to consider pursuing her career with another firm that values ethics and respects human culture over individual status.

Regards,
Sheethal

You have to check with the HR Department to see if there is any type of formal dress code policy stated in it. In a transparent culture, employees have the right to know about it and receive convincing reasons for any proposed changes. If a valid reason is provided and it is a job requirement, staff members must comply with it.

The law does not mandate anything in this regard, but companies are expected to respect individual beliefs and local requirements. Companies should communicate such decisions to employees in advance to avoid potential issues that could have political implications, disrupting both business operations and regional harmony.

Finally, all the suggestions are submissive rather than assertive. Every individual providing services in any organization has the right to understand the reasons behind any changes. It appears that the suggestions stem from an immature approach by the HR Department and the owners. We need to embrace change without fear of job loss.

Wake up!!!

Dear All,

We are all confusing the person. These types of conditions only exist in MNCs. We HR people, why can't we write to the Govt. to amend the law or include a clause stating, "Company's policies should not hurt the culture of employees"? We must create a lobby against this.

Please check whether it is in the appointment letter. If not, she can file against this condition. Hurting the feelings of an individual is equal to spoiling the fundamental rights of that individual.

Regards,
Raveesha:blink: