Harpreetwalia
Senior Manager/freelance Consultant
Rajeev Zoman
Administration & Hr
+1 Other

#Anonymous

Dear All, Greetings!
As i am working in a NGO as Associate HR. I have been working here since Aug'14. I have resigned from my position on 4th November and now I am on Notice. Because of my boss's behaviour towards me i have resigned. I have a 2yr old baby and i can't cope up both personal life and professional life. Sometime after my office hour my boss calls me and started scolding me which effects my personal life. He scolds me in front of everyone and after sometime he comes to me starts apologising. This has been happening with me for 2 years. After my resignation he told me he won't repeat all theses things so withdraw my resignation. My Executive director told me to talk with me but he has been busy since my resignation so has not talked to me yet.
So kindly guide me what should i do? Should i told everything to ED sir about his behaviour or just inform my boss about his behaviour is tolerable and withdraw my resignation.
Please help.
Thanking you.
22nd November 2017 From India, Sambalpur
Hi Dear,
The relationship between you and your boss seems to up and down most of the time. You direct boss may be of a short temper which he realizes after having arguments with you and others-may be.
You being in HR need to understand that at times HR has to manage his own boss as well. We are in a filed where we mostly deal with people's emotion and our bosses are also human being. Running off is never a recommended solution. You need to learn dealing with tough people also if you are looking for a long term career in this stream. Its good that your boss aplogise later on after scolding you unnecessarily as this signifies that he is not in his control and apologizing to you also describe that you are an important person in the area.
Have a meeting with your ED and describe him of the situation and let him know everything in a positive description. In such situations its always better to forgive someone and move on as the people around are also under the impression of your boss's short temperament. No need to put resignation for such reason. Deal it firmly, this is a learning for you with human emotions. If you win here then it will be an self achievement for you which you will realize one day.
22nd November 2017 From India, New Delhi
Hi Dear
Please don't leave organization. In today's world there is lots of work pressure it happens sometimes superior scolds the subordinates but in your case you are lucky he apologizes for his mistake, i think he is great. You have great career ahead since you are working from 3 years so stuck to present job.
Best of Luck ...
22nd November 2017 From India, Nasik
#Anonymous
Thank you so much for the reply...but i have one doubt that i have been doing all the work alone...but he never appreciates me ...he only does email..apart from that he never does any data related work..again he never recommends my name for increment...he always gives me work when office time is about to over..these things bother me..he has been on leave from last one and half months and i have been doing all the work under ED Sir. and i have been completing everything in timely.
So can i share all these things to ED Sir or not?
Thank you again for the help.
22nd November 2017 From India, Sambalpur
but i have one doubt that i have been doing all the work alone..- It happens in small/mid size companies.
but he never appreciates me - No criticize is also an appreciation...
he only does email.. - Email of what positives/negatives?
apart from that he never does any data related work. - Generally top bosses are getting this data related work through juniors / subordinates
again he never recommends my name for increment...- So why you have not thought of changing job so far?
he always gives me work when office time is about to over.. - If you know his working style then why don't you ask for work voluntarily before closing of office hours?
these things bother me.... In reality only above mentioned things are bothering you nowadays
he has been on leave from last one and half months and i have been doing all the work under ED Sir. - So ED already know what is your capability.
and i have been completing everything in timely. - Its your view not of ED
22nd November 2017 From India, Pune
Hi dear,
I have gone through the same issues that you are facing now.
I would like to tell you that even if your boss is scolding you and then apologizing later and is also asking you to withdraw your resignation, it means he knows that if you move out of the organization he will be in a big trouble as currently you are doing all of his work.
Secondly you should talk to your ED, but in such a way that he should feel that you are ready to do all the work and also if he is asking you about your boss's behavior do inform him. Also let him know that your boss does apologize, but since he scolds in front of all other team members you feel bad, but even after all such things happening around you, you have not let those things hamper your work. You are completing all your assigned work on time.
Also try to be proactive and start meeting your boss in the morning as soon as he is in office and get the list of the work he is expecting you to complete in the day.
Start informing your boss after you complete half of the work in your to-do list for the day so that you will know what else work he wants you to do, thus he will also understand that you are working as per him and he will not get a chance to scold you.
Send him an email every day before you leave of the tasks assigned and whatever its status is so in future if he asks you or thinks of scolding you, you will have it on mail that you had informed him.
Talking of appreciation, one definitely need appreciation as its a motivational factor in everyone's career, but at times one has to wait and watch. There will be a day when there would be some work which only you can do in the best way, that day will be your day.
You also mentioned that he calls you up after office hours and scolds you which affects your personal life; in this case set up a meeting with your boss and tell him firmly (does not mean rudely or arrogantly) that he should not call you after office hours as you have a kid and after going home you need to give full attention to your kid as after office hours your kid is your priority.
Hope your issue gets solved.
All the best.
Thanks,
Kreena Prashant, Pune
23rd November 2017 From India, Pune
#Anonymous
Dear Kreena ,
Thanks for the valuable reply which means a lot to me..
He knows very well that how valuable i am..but he never accepts that..he comes office 10.45/10.30 every day but our office time is 9AM ..after that he starts his regular gossip for about 30mins after that he starts work...but my work starts at 9am so i should leave office in timely but no he never allows me that..
And also i have one question in an Organization who is the responsible person of all the increment and salary revision work? our finance manager and HR Manager they both forced me to do that...finance manager says its a HR work and HR says its a accounts and finance departments work ..as i am very new to all these HR related work so i do all these things..
Kindly help me..
23rd November 2017 From India, Sambalpur
Hi,
If your boss is coming late to office then you can do one thing, on the previous day before you leave, ask him what work has he lined up for the next day. If he asks you why you want to know today, then tell him that if he lets you know what work you have to do the next day then accordingly you can decide which work is to be done first. If he says he will let you know the work next day after he comes, then let him do it. Next day if he scolds you that you did not complete certain work, then you can tell him in a soft language that you had asked him about the work, but he didn't tell you as "HE WAS BUSY". This will show him your pro-activeness and also if you practice this everyday then he will have to think before he says anything to you.
Coming to your question on increment, then its your manager who is responsible for your increment. He is supposed to do it ; I mean he is supposed to do the discussions and give recommendations for you. But you will have to talk to him about this.
Let him know that the delay in the increment is demotivating you, but this is not the right time to show this to him. First he needs to understand that his behavior is not right towards you.
Thanks,
Kreena
23rd November 2017 From India, Pune
#Anonymous
Dear Keena,
Thanks again!
I am talking about all the employees increment calculation.
Who is responsible for increment and revision related calculation work. Is Finance manager or HR Manager is responsible to finalize and do all the calculation regarding increment related work.
Thanks for the quick reply.
23rd November 2017 From India, Sambalpur
Hi,
The increment and salary revision recommendations have to come from the respective managers. The HR is also involved into the discussions and then it is forwarded to the accounts team after the increment percentage is finalized. The calculations part is done majorly by the accounts dept.
Thanks,
Kreena
23rd November 2017 From India, Pune
#Anonymous
Dear Kreena,
Thank you so much for the help.
Thank you.
23rd November 2017 From India, Sambalpur
Dearm Annonymous,
Good treatment & behaviour is the essence of working place also create a good atmosphere to work by the employee. There are some exceptional people they treat their junior as if slave and behave rudely. Generally this type of people having much personal & family problems, for which they show their anguish & frustration upon others.
Now nothing left for you in that office as you have already resigned. Now you better concentrate on your baby and family, also look for a new job. You have got experience and will get one too. Why to bother unnecessarily for past which is going to end within a short span.
Your this posting gives me to think that you seek advice from us, whether to go with resignation or to withdraw. You know your organisation and the people around you better than us. You decide what will be best for you as a whole.
It is hurting while suggesting to ghost as you people bears no name at all. If you are so scared of identity or loosing of prestige should not seek help from others.
24th November 2017 From India, Mumbai
#Anonymous
It happens in all the organisations between Junior level and managers. It would be good if you can connect to more people or major people in the organisation as you are HR.
Doing so will help you become stronger in any company. If your manager is not supporting you then you can be in touch with his manager.
I tell this to everyone, we should always try to close the important work first which our managers followup. Then we can do other things on the next day as they are not much important that we have to close by today. If we work on time then you can leave on time and if you come late also managers doesn't tell anything to you.
And I always try to finish the work on time so that no one can stop you on this. Tell them that my working hours have been completed and if still any work is pending then I will do it and leave. But update them that I can't sit daily on the works that are given while leaving the office.
If its continuing just inform your managers manager that this is all happening daily.
24th November 2017 From India, Hyderabad
My dear Lady:
Being in the profession for more than four decades I have learned:
Never scold or belittle an employee
Never ever do so in front of others
If at all there is an issue, it needs be discussed in private
Not to be reprimanded, but to be counseled and advised
Your boss's attitude - the beans now being spilled -
Would have belittled himself in the eyes of everyone
Talk to your HR Manager, seek his counsel
Forgive, and pray for, your boss
(Remind him you have a resignation note ready in your handbag)
And he will begin seeing where he stands
Among his associates that keep his department / service on the move
Arif ur Rehman
25th November 2017 From Pakistan, Karachi
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