An Easy Way To Develop Self Confidence - PDF Download
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The General Manager, Mr. Ashok Kumar is conducting a meeting with his five production managers came from different production units. He describes about one of the new projects of the company. While he explains about it, he tells that the project is on experimental basis and it may pose challenges but it is possible to do it. Finally he asks towards his managers that who is ready to take up the projects. After a few silent moments, one of the managers, Mr. Srikanth raises his hands and says that he is ready. The general manger praises him and asks to come for a separate discussion.
After the meeting, Mr. Saravanan, a close friend of Mr. Srikanth tells to him that you are going to suffer a lot with that new project. Mr. Srikanth replies that he will manage it. Again, Mr. Saravanan tells that whatever you tell, you are going to suffer because of the new project.
If we compare both the managers, we can easily say that Mr. Srikanth has more self-confidence than Mr. Saravanan does. Why and how has self-confidence come to Mr. Srikanth? Can we go for an analysis?
What is self-confidence? Is it being inside us or is it coming from outside? If you like this, you will get the answer that self-confidence is nothing but a confidence on us. It is a self-belief that we can do it. Then why somebody believes that he can do and in contrast, somebody thinks that he cannot do even though both are being in an equal place. If you take both Mr. Srikanth and Mr. Saravanan, both are working as managers in a same company. While Mr. Srikanth believes that he can do the new project, Mr. Saravanan believes that he cannot do it.
If any body says that he cannot do it, he may not know that job and sometimes there is no relevance between that person and the job. For example, a biologist can say that he cannot do a rocket technology. This is due to the reason that he does not have the enough knowledge on the subject. This is not the thing, which we are talking here. Here we are talking about a belief, which a person has on a particular thing or act, which actually he can do it. Here we are relating ourselves with a thing or act that because of us, there is some change is going to take place in a particular thing or act. We believe that we can bring that particular change in a thing, act, or both. We believe that we have enough tools like knowledge, time, energy, skills etc to make a change in a particular thing, act, or both and finally we can make a new thing, act, or both. If a person does not believe that he has knowledge, energy, or skill enough to do a thing, then he will have disbelief in doing that particular thing.
Why this variation in belief between person to person is there and what determines the level of belief. Now you can feel that the experiences and the knowledge gained out of that experiences are very important in deciding a belief on something. If the experiences are good, the belief is positive and if the experiences are bad, then belief is negative. In the life of any person, if more experiences are bad, then he or she may be a negative person with less self-belief and confidence. When these kinds of persons see a new work or situation, they will either fear or avoid that work or situation. This is the difference between Mr. Srikanth and Mr. Saravanan.
The experiences in childhood also can affect a person’s self-confidence in latter age. How to overcome this is the question now. If we have to develop our self-belief and confidence means, first we need to experience good and positive things in our current period. Once we starts to experience success, then our self-belief will automatically increase. The following two things are very important to overcome the problem.
1. First and foremost thing here is that we need to self-praise our small successes.
2. We should never compare ourselves with the success of others.
If we follow the above two rules in our work and life, then there will be a change in our self-belief and confidence in a positive direction. Once we start to come out, nothing can stop us. Even our failures will not affect us now. In your targeted work, if you see your small successes and praise yourself then really you will see a big success at the end.
If after all of our efforts, we are not able to belief ourselves, then we need to think about changing our path way or work. May be our core competency is different from what we are doing now.
One message is very clear here that all the persons are capable to achieve a peak provided they believe themselves. What ever we believe is our life. These believe are there in our subconscious mind and operate our movement towards success or failure. What is about you? It is totally in your hand.
Example Situation- I
Assume that you start a business. As business is in initial stage, you do not have much staff. You are doing the order-taking job. You approach around twenty clients and get no order. With many clients, you get ill treatment also. That day evening, you are alone and think about it. What will be your thinking?
1. You feel very much dejected, worry about your selection of business, and think about closing the business immediately.
2. You feel agitated and think that you will try for another one month and if not getting order, then you will close the business.
3. You feel happy that you could able to get some answer of “ok we will see” from two of your clients.
4. You will feel very happy that you have covered twenty clients in a day and put the seeds of your business.
The objective of your journey to your clients is to get order. In the four answers given, the objective has not met out. However, in first two answers, the failures are taken in to prominent mode and in third and fourth answers; successes are taken in to account.
If you remember the first rule, you will understand that you have to see your small achievements and praise yourself. This is the indication that you are self-confident and the success is nearing you. If you start to see your small successes rather than your failures coming in the way, then you have already started to believe yourself and will reach the success.
Assume that you are working as an accounts executive in a firm. Your manager has assigned some work to you and a same kind of work to one of your colleagues. The deadline to finish this job is ten days. After seven days, your manager calls you, says that your colleague has completed the work, and asks you whether you will complete the work with in the remaining three days or not. Further, he says that if you are not able to do it please give it to that person and let him finish it. What will be your reaction and answer to your manager?
1. You will try to be in safer side and tell that let your colleague to handle this work and finish it with in next three days.
2. You will say that you will try to finish it with in three days.
3. You will assure that you will finish it with in the target period.
4. You will say that you will get the help from your colleague and assure that you will finish with in a day.
As we have discussed earlier, if we compare our work with others, then there will come some doubt on us. It will erode our self-confidence and you may not get success. Here, the first two answers are the examples of such a kind of comparison with our colleagues. It has raised some doubt on the self-believe and led to negative answers. In contrast, third and fourth answers are showing independency and high confidence level.
Repeatedly we need to understand that if we have to erode our poor self-belief registered in our mind, we have to start to avoid the comparison of our achievements with others and to praise ourselves for our small and tiny achievements. This will really go to our sub conscious mind and direct us to think positive with high self-belief and confidence.
Chief Resource Person,
Yes We Can Consultancy Services,
Coimbatore - 42