Boss2966
Industrial Relations
Hussain Zulfikar
Hris Implementation, Payroll, Recruitment,
Tajsateesh
Recruitment/talent Acquisition, Career Counselling
Raj Kumar Hansdah
Shrm, Od, Hrd, Pms
Pon1965
Construction
Kknair
Hr, Ir, Law, Disc. Matters
Milanjanuary
Gm-hr & Training
Aditi_Mitra
Hr Generalist
Bina_bina
Hr In Chemline India Limited
Pawaram
Asst.manager Hr
+5 Others

Dear all,
I am working as an asst manager-hr in a fmcg co.I got married almost a year back.In my contact address my residential address is given and after marriage I have not changed it to my in-laws address as in my residential address proof my parental address is given.In the appointment letter of the company it is mentioned an employee needs to inform the management in case of change in residential address.Nowhere in the appointment letter it is mentioned that an woman employee needs to submit in-laws address after marriage. Now,GM-HRD is pressurising me to give my in-laws address to the company.Kindly advise am I bound to give my in-laws address to the company ?
Regards
Aparajita
14th July 2011 From India, Calcutta
Once you are married, your hubby house becomes yours as per our Indian customs. you need to change your address to the present one. Pon
14th July 2011 From India, Lucknow
Dear Pon,
I realy agree with you, but now a days most of the women employees are prefer to stick up with their previous names only, they are not changing their names after marriage.
In this situation what a role HR can play ?
can somebody will through a more light on this issue ?
what are the consequences of it legaly ?
Would appreciate more views on this issue.
Kirti.
14th July 2011 From India, Mumbai
Hi
@aparajitaaks
With reference to the posting, if you have changed your residence address from your parents house to your In-laws house, what is the harm in informing the company regarding change in address. what is the fuss all about. Its a simple change in address, just like you would shift from one house to another. Also in your query you mentioned that, its a clause in your employment contract to inform company about change in address.
14th July 2011 From Kuwait, Salmiya
Hello fellow CiteHRs,

I love this debate. Because, its not really about address updates. Instead, its about individuals' mind-sets and 'thinkings'.

Whilst I realise that being a patriarchal society, it is automatically assumed that post-marriage, a woman's entire identity magically owes its allegiance to her marital apparatus.

However, let's just look around ourselves - especially at professional women who've earned a significant mileage prior to getting married. And, what we find there is not surprising at all.

A large percentage of them either don't change their surnames. Or, if they do, they simply add their husband's surname after their original name (including their maiden surname). And, as far as I am concerned, it is not just appropriate, but entirely normal.

And, like any reasonable argument, the above can also be extended to the context of residential addresses.

However, the issue here is not that Aparajita has any qualms of supplying her employer with the address of her marital home. Instead, she objects to providing them with her in-laws' address.

And, in my view, her position is entirely appropriate. Because, it is no business of any employer to know where their employees' relatives live. Because, if such was to be the case, then where do we draw the line? Do we start supplying our siblings' addresses, their in-laws' addresses etc...

I think her GM HR is being entirely unreasonable. Because, he/she was to be challenged in an appropriate legal surround, he/she would literally have no legs to stand their argument on. Because, at its very core, it is fundamemtally baseless and nonsensical.
14th July 2011 From India, Gurgaon
Hi Gaurav

Interesting Contribution from your side, I agree with you. I feel that when a man and woman gets married, this are two individuals coming together promising each other to spend life together. why should women adjust with lots of things such as as change in name, leave parents house and go to In-law's house, change surnames etc. infact, both man and woman shall take equal steps towards each other,

Instead of women coming to husband's father's house, they should both leave seperately in another house, if due to economical or emotional reasons couple is not able to do so, then there should be mutual agreement between Man and Wife regarding staying at one of the parent's house.

A woman leaving her house after marriage is considered absolutely normal, where as if a Man chooses to be a "ghar-jamaai" he is mocked in the society, how silly !!

Old traditions are not challenged, and those who do, are ridiculed as bad mannered etc etc.

With reference to my earlier post here, what I mean is, if the woman has left her house and shifted to her in-laws house to reside there, a company has a right to know the current address of employee, for communication purposes. In my experience, company asks for 2 addresses, one where the person resides and an alternative adddress of a relative, guardian or so, just in case of emergency.
14th July 2011 From Kuwait, Salmiya
Dear Aparajita
There is no need to complicate the issue.
It is an established fact (which you agree to) that an employee should inform the management, in case of a change of address.
It is immaterial, whether it is caused due to :
  • the need for a better accommodation;
  • preference for a locality;
  • change in status of property (from rented to one's own or vice-versa)
  • or for any other reason such as marriage.
Now, it seems as if you have invited your colleagues including your GM to your marriage ceremony; and the gentleman seems to have been fixated by "your in-laws". Please ignore this fact (or otherwise).
If you have changed your address; which is generally the case; give your new address.
If you are still staying with your parents; just tell your GM FIRMLY, THAT THERE HAS BEEN NO CHANGE in your residential address status.
I hope you would find the above helpful.
Warm regards.
14th July 2011 From India, Delhi
Hello Aparajita,
I am with Raj Kumar.
Looks like the whole discussion is being confused & digressed from a 'change of address' issue to the 'reason(s)' & 'logic' reg the change of address--notice the difference?
For a moment, forget that your marriage is the 'cause' for the change of your address. If your parents [IF you are living with them] OR you [assuming you live separately in some shared acco in a city], WOULD YOU NOT INFORM THE OFFICE IF YOU CHANGED THE RESIDENCE/ACCO?
Pl note that the Office needs to be given the NEW ADDRESS as per the rules--doesn't matter if it's the in-laws address or friend's address or something else AND also doesn't matter WHY YOU HAD TO CHANGE the address. Like Raj Kumar mentioned, just give them the new address UNDER YOUR NAME--WHATEVER THE NAME IS AS PER THE COMPANY RECORDS.
Rgds,
TS
14th July 2011 From India, Hyderabad
Dear Aparajita

As said by Mr. Rajkumar and Mr. Sateesh, it is the employee's moral responsibility to submit the details for change of address, spouse details and other relevant information to the HR Department for their records.

This is not being done by the employees because of their ignorance and not aware of the system and the purpose of giving the details.

In defence services, all the soldiers are to give the details of Wife name (Maiden & After Marriage), Wife's father name, Age/Date of Birth, Address of Wife, accordingly in office the records will be changed for Nomination, Legal Heir, Family Pension details etc immediately after marriage. If you wish, you can introduce the same to your office also, in which you can add the Nomination Form, Legal heir certificate (self attested by the Staff himself), even a Will also can be taken and filed alongwith his personal documents (duly sealed in a cover).

If you start in your office then inform to other offices also, where your words will be taken into consideration and let them also follow the procedure, which will be helpful to others too. You may start for your office and in due course it will be spread to all the offices.
15th July 2011 From India, Kumbakonam
Dear All,
Thanks for the views.In a nutshell can see there are two distinct opinions .One view says since I have got married I should submit my in-laws' residential address.another view says there is no harm if I do not do so.
I do not have any problem in submitting my in-laws' address to the company.But in the GM-HRD's attitude and the way he asked the address from me gender biasness was very apparent,which made me more stubborn.Nowhere in the Hindu Marriage Act (which I went through at a glance after this event,I might be wrong)I could find that it is mentioned after marriage a woman's residential address becomes that of her husband's.In today's world while we are speaking about women liberation & all, how can one force an woman to change her resi add to that of her in-law's .It is upto an woman to decide which address she wants to maintain. If an woman wants to maintain her parental resi add then can anyone question and compel her?
Regards
Aparajita
15th July 2011 From India, Calcutta
Dear Aparajita
In case of emergency, or anything happened to that lady, how will you communicate to their home?
Whom You have to communicate? Whether to her husband or to her parents? Normally in our Indian Culture after Marriage obviously a girl after marriage will get settled with her husband and with his family. In case of any untoward incident in office, you have the moral responsibility to inform to the Husband first then only her parents and in laws.
That's the reason here your HR Head has asked for change of address procedures to be adopted in your office.
Hope you can understand it.
15th July 2011 From India, Kumbakonam
Dear Mr S. Bhaskar,
I fully understand your view.Infact this view has also been reflected in some other posts by our compatriots regarding this issue.Might be in our culture after marriage a lady's responsibilities becomes her husband's.But can't a lady decide in case of untoward consequences as mentioned by you her parents need to be informed first, the parents-who have given birth to her,who have made her able to reach the position where she is now,is it not a moral responsibility of an woman to keep her parents' position in her life same as that used to be prior to marriage?
Regards
Aparajita
15th July 2011 From India, Calcutta
Dear Aparajita
You have manufactured a product. Nice. You are having the patent registered.
But the Product got loss. Who is the loser? The person who purchased the product or the Manufacturer?
Manufacturer will have the feeling that his product for damaged and lost. But the ultimate loser is the Purchaser.
15th July 2011 From India, Kumbakonam
Dear Aparajita

I understand your feelings and also the issue of gender-bias or discrimination.

At the same time, we must look into the requirements of the organization as well; which need to know the CURRENT RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS of its staff, so that they can be contacted; dropped or picked up; gifts/messages/communications sent to them etc. etc. during the time when they are on leave/absent or otherwise.

It is (or ought to be) IMMATERIAL for an organization whether a married lady resides with her parents, in-laws or A NEW SEPARATE RESIDENCE WITH HER NEW FAMILY (namely, her husband and later their children). The latter is more often the case these days in urban areas and a sociological fact - joint families are decreasing in number and nuclear families are in increasing trend.

One is at liberty to retain the parental address; as in certain cases it may be possible that whatever the new couple plan, may be of temporary nature or a stop-gap arrangement as they decide to settle down to a residence which is more favourable to their needs and resources.

Warm regards.
15th July 2011 From India, Delhi
Hello Aparajita,
Like I mentioned in my earlier posting, looks like you are confusing one issue with another.

If you want to give your parents' contact for any eventuality to be on the records of the company, it's upto you.
But IF your PRESENT address IS NOT the same as your parents', then it becomes necessary for you to give your PRESENT ADDRESS TO THE COMPANY. BOTH ARE DIFFERENT ISSUES which are again ABSOLUTELY DIFFERENT from who your First Priority in life is.

First & foremost pl remember that--Change is the ONLY Constant in life.
I am not sure if you have kids. Assuming you don't, once you have kids, then your COMPLETE focus WOULD go to them for their upbringing--at least IT SHOULD. At that stage, what if your parents & husband tell you that your primary focus HAS TO BE THEM ALONE with the kids coming secondary--or even third priority after the parents/husband? Would that be an acceptable situation for anyone? If it's acceptable for you, I have nothing to add here.

Coming to your query--"is it not a moral responsibility of an woman to keep her parents' position in her life same as that used to be prior to marriage?", the answer is BOTH YES & NO. Only the situations in which you keep your parents position the same will change--in fact, have to change. Having married, would the spouse be wrong to expect that he/she should be the First priority in the other's life? You have crossed the rubicon--just bear that aspect of life in mind.
An analogy--similar mind you--NOT identical--for the query you raised could be this: Assuming you started your career in one company/organization & worked there for a long time--let's say 12-15 yrs. If you get a good opportunity in another company at that stage or you moved to another city, will you not resign & shift? You definitely will. And will you forget the Company that was the PRIMARY cause for your career? I bet NO, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, you will shift your focus, attention & LOYALTY to the new company. Or would tell your new company that since you worked for the earlier company for 12-15 yrs, your FIRST LOYALTY & FOCUS will remain with them?

I hope you get the point.
If you haven't, I would ask you bluntly: if there's no way anyone else can have Priority-1 in your life EVER, why did you get married at all?

Rgds,
TS
15th July 2011 From India, Hyderabad
Dear Aparajita,
We have two opinions in front: one to submit and one not to submit the new address. If we forget for sometime the idea of gender biasedness, then we can think about the responsibility of an employee to inform his or her employer the new address. With this view point, one better acts ethically and updates the employer with latest contact information. This may be important for many reasons.
Suppose, the newly wed couple stays seperately from the in-laws in a totally new location, then it is not just for the wife but also the husband who is bound to inform his concern employer the new address. So, this issue should not be taken personally nor from gender biasedness point of view. Mixing the issue with the Hindu Marriage Act and the Women Empowerment / Liberation or stuff like that is just a way to complicate the issue.
You are a sensible person and act rationally!!! Best of Luck!!!
Best Regards
Binapani
15th July 2011 From India, Delhi
Dear all,
What I gather from this discussion is only 2 members have been able to understand my point of view.
@tajsateesh-the point is not why I have got married,the point is why should I be asked & compelled to give my in-laws' add as Address 1 in my office when I have stated very clearly that my parental address should remain as my contact add & address1 in office record.Its immaterial for the office to know with whom I am residing,whether with my parents or my husband or alone.When the employee herself has asserted about which one her contact address should be in office records,why the office is bothered about which address it is?After completing five yrs of service in hrd field I know what the value of an address is in office records.
@bina_bina-herein comes the questions of women liberation & hindu marriage act.This situation has arose because till date in our patriarchal we assume a lady's identity is that of her husband's.This is what was reflected in GM's attitude which I dislike.

Regards
Aparajita
15th July 2011 From India, Calcutta
Pon, Hussain have given the cultural perspective, Gaurav got to the crux of the problem.
But Raj kumar has hit the nail on the head by clearly stating the legal dimension.
Dear Aparajita,
I respect that you have taken into account the acceptability of the way people speak to you. I urge that you hold your standard as well as your temper in this fiasco. Do not react to the GM, simply tell him there has been no such address change, and if he insists, ask him to email you regarding his concerns. One, he probably wont email as he cannot state "have you changed your address now that you are married" and two, asking for a formal mail itself will deter him.
Politics is an integral part of HR dept., learn the game.
15th July 2011 From India, Bangalore
Hi Aparajita,
Here i would like to say that , dont take it like ur In law address or ur parent address . It should be like address where u are staying. Just like that it will be more simple to understand.
If you are staying with ur parents or with ur in laws tht address will be ur contact address.
But companies do have 2 address information
1) Permanent address
2) Communication address
now u can decide which address u want to give in which option .
Its very simple and sober.
15th July 2011 From India, Delhi
Dear Aparajita
Thanks for your interaction with our helpful members.
Now things are getting clearer. Unlike what was presumed earlier; the fact is that you are quite aware of the system and its requirements.
What irks you is; why you should be asked to furnish your in-laws address and accept it as your own present residential address.

Yes, you have a point there, irrespective of any Acts on marriage; or gender bias. In fact, I feel it even encroaches on your Right to Privacy.
Yes, as long as you have provided an address which is correct; (i.e. your parents address);
  • there are no Laws that compel you to provide your in-laws address as you residence.
I hope that answers your original query; "Kindly advise am I bound to give my in-laws address to the company ?"
Do let us know if this clears all your doubts on this matter.
Do feel free to revert back, in case you need further clarifications on this.
Warm regards.
15th July 2011 From India, Delhi
Dear All,
The brawl started day before yesterday.It continued for the whole day yesterday.Yesterday itself I had asked the GM to give me a letter/email regarding the matter when he sort of threatened me to issue me letter if I donot give my in laws' address.GM-HRD has gone completely silent over the matter today.
15th July 2011 From India, Calcutta
@ Mr Raj Kumar Hansdah,
You have got to the point .thanks a ton.Now I myself feel confident knowing "there are no Laws that compel you to provide your in-laws address as you residence"as you have mentioned.It is the attitude which has annoyed me.It is completely my personal choice whether I shall retain my parental address/surname or use that of my in-laws'.Why point finger on my personal preference?
15th July 2011 From India, Calcutta
Dear Aparajita!!! I think we are all going off the tangent, the real issue is, does the organisation have your actual residential address? It is needed for reasons, more than one. If you continue to be put up with your maternal family there is no need to disclose your in-law's address but if you are put up in a different place other than the address already given to your orgn. then you need to furnish the new address, be it your in-laws or an altogether new one. But the point remains that an organisation really needs your temperorary address and the permenent address in its records. But no body can compel you to disclose the address of your kith and kin including in-laws provided you are not residing there.
Regards
KK
16th July 2011 From India, Bhopal
Dear Aparajita,
How you will maintain Parental address. if you are not staying with your Parents. Itís your moral responsibility to provide company the address where you are currently residing.
Itís not the issue about the address of in-laws; so keep your ego aside and simply provide your current updated residing address.
With regards,
Abhijit Pawar.
16th July 2011 From United States
Dear all,
I do not understand any "moral obligation" to disclose ones address.
1. for untoward incidents - this is for a practical reason, no morality is involved, even so one may feel to give a caring uncles contact no in case of emergency.
could there be any other reason for a company to know my location?
16th July 2011 From India, Bangalore
Dear Aparajita

As being in HR you must understand that the issue is not a debate of woman identity, I myself have not changed my surname yet,but where we work the need of providing right information is necessary as in case if there is any problem with your bank account or any other financial transaction or any official transactions ,your office might approach ,and the information will not reach to you directly.

It is not must ,but yes as an employee its our duty,and specially being in HR you must understand this well ,then only you can make other employee understand.

If your GM has approached in negative way , that may be because you have given him the reason to do so.Its just my perception don't take it wrong ,sometimes we girls get emotionally adamant in case of our parental issue so we don't want to change that.

please be easy ,its nothing wrong to inform the right thing to your company.If you go somewhere else for studying or change of job ,won't you give your in-laws address then ?

Regards

Mitali
16th July 2011 From India, New Delhi
Dear Ms. Aparajitha,
You are correct according to hindu marriage act. It's up to you to decide.
Now consider this situation.
Your in-laws are multi- millionares and your hus is their only child, will you take their money? If you dont want, no law can force you. If your manager is bullying, tell him to worry about millions living without any address in our country. If he is not, then you think about this sad fact. Thank you
16th July 2011 From India, Kochi
Aparajitha,
This is first time i am posting something in this site. If you dont want to change the address, dont change. Tell your boss, on records i want this address. Tell him "if you are so much interested in my current address, i can give you off the records".
You stick to your decision. Otherwise if he is still stubborn, put ur parents address in permanent & hubby's address in current address.
Even after having all these discussions, your GM is stubborn, directly ask him "why you are so particular about my hubby's address?". I think after this, he will not pressurise you.
Keep it simple, silly...
Devarajan.N.R
98418-22629
18th July 2011 From India, Madras
Dear Aparajita, You are absolutely right.I think the matter should be left at the discretion of an individual. Regards, Aditi
18th July 2011 From India, Calcutta
Dear Aparajita, Greetings!!! Hope you have handled the situation tactfully and the GM is quiet now. Best Regards Binapani
26th July 2011 From India, Delhi
Pls share with us whether your problem is resolved now. How you solved the issue amicably?
8th August 2011 From India, Madras
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