Try and explain the difference between PERSONAL life and PROFESSIONAL life.
How both should balanced.
In Professional environment personal feeling should not supersede professional decisions.
You can also check whether ur policy says that two person from the same family cannot work in the organisation, if that is the case then u certainly can say that its THIS organisation which has already breached its own policy for the contribution ur director has made to the organisation.

From India, Mumbai
Dear Members,
As stated by a lot of you that these are just his gimmicks, he has a better job in his hand & he just wants to leave..........i would agree, but the question we need to ask are:
1. Does his wife feel insulted or raged by the kind of celebration she got???
2. Does she too have a job offer, or does he plan to take her along to the new company as well??????
My suggestions:
Try finding the answer of question No.2????? You may solve this whole damn mess....
Moreover let the guy leave if he wants to, but try retaining his wife..........
Abhishek Bhatara

From India, Pune
Thanks everyone here for your valuable suggestions. Well Abhishek I have done exactly what you have stated. I did had a long conversation with the wife of the Director and as per comments, she is not interested in leaving the job.
Moreover, she herself is unable to understand her husband's behavior. Meanwhile, we have asked the director that he wants to quit he can as we cannot change the policies of our company as per his convience. Also, we have ensured that the wife is still working with us.
Please let me know if there is anything extra that I can do to solve this mess and also retain the guy ensuring their no further mess concerning him and his wife???????
Do reply guys................

From India, Delhi
Hi Prachi,
It looks like from your answer that the girl is more mature and realistic than her husband. But time and again you have said that the Director is efficient and has contributed to the Organisation.

One thing we all have to agree....i.e., though he has married a girl of a lower cadre, she becomes WIFE OF A DIRECTOR and definitely she deserves better treatment. For example, if any Director's wife or relatives visits the company, we definitely takes care of them because they are the family members of the Director. Applying the same analogy in this case, the girl is first the Director's wife and later she is an employee at a lower cadre. You should be happy that after marriage the Director has not promoted her to a higher cadre. You have to treat her as Director's wife in celebrations like this and I am sure nobody will object to special treatment to her because she is the Director's wife.

Under the above circumstances, I feel that you should talk to the Director that this type of situation has come in for the first time and hence this lapse and in future this will be treated in a different way. By this you will satisfy the ego of the Director and I am sure even the Management will not bother.

Lastly one thing is ture - EVERY RULE HAS AN EXCEPTION.

All the best.


From India, Bangalore
Hi Prachi,
Thanks. As I have mentioned, if you go and talk to him and explain that his wife will be first Director's wife and then an employee and she will be treated specially henceforth, he will definitely understand and will not quit. With this, his ego also is satisfied and probably he may also be feeling how to get out of this situation since this unwanted mess has been created by himself.

From India, Bangalore
I think your company should celebrate his wife's birthday in same manner as the directors birthday as now she is wife of a director.I think its not a big issue and to deal with such issues implement anti-nepotism policy where no two members of a family can work together:mrgreen::grin:
From India, Delhi
Dear Sam
But what about other people in her team and rest of the employees in my company................ What procedure should be followed with them then? what will happen to the ideology of being fair with the employees in the company and how should deal with the dissatisfaction that will be created amongst other members????????????????????????/
Do reply.........................

From India, Delhi
Ms. Prachi,
I am not doubting your conversations with the concerned lady, but try reading between lines.....people at times say something, but mean a totally different being in the HR dept., maybe seen by her as a person who isn't trustworthy( because of your proximity to the decision makers & the nature of your job), to be told the real details.............have someone else also find out about her intentions.......someone not so close to her, but of same level or designation.....maybe the results may surprise you....even shock you.....

Meanwhile, what does this director say about leaving the job.........maybe the celebration was just the last straw in the inflated ego this person may have......or maybe his wife naggs him after office is inevitable that they don't carry some office related problems home......& he is genuinely frustrated by this constant nagging at need to tread carefully into this territory....try talking to your HR manager or the company head about this....& they may throw some light about the matter at hand.........maybe he has discussed these issues with them.....

Also try to make all concerned understand that you have no hidden interests other than solving the matter in the most humane manner, without bending rules........rules or SOPs are not to be bended but followed to the last letter.........they are here to handle daily situations....god knows if u accede to this director's demand of a royal birthday bash for his wife, some other chap may want other unjust demands to be fulfilled......

Moreover it sends a very bad signal to the company employees, and they too may feel exploited or over stressed or may feel plainly cheated or not treated fairly......

Abhishek Bhatara

From India, Pune
DEAR prachi, I have also faced this problem in my organisation as we had two brothers working gets annoyed just as the other was not treated at par.the best is anti-nepotism policy.:)
From India, Delhi
Well....... may be u can convince ur mgt to "lead by example" by making one common policy and action for such kind of event checking the disparity between the levels and bringing sense of equality for all..........

From Singapore

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