One day while walking down the street, a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a truck, and she died instantly. Her soul arrived in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it to Heaven, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"That's not my problem. Just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from above. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven, and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind; I prefer to stay in Heaven," said the woman.
"Sorry, we have to follow the rules..."
And with that, St. Peter put the woman in an elevator, and it went down, down, down to Hell. The doors opened, and she found herself stepping out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with. They were well-dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up, hugged her, talked about good old times, played an excellent round of golf, and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil, who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute), and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up, up, up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter was waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing and singing. She had a great time, and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up, and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell, and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," St. Peter said.
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this; I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator, and again she went down, down, down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here, and there was a beautiful golf course, a country club, we ate lobster, danced, and had a great time. Now all that is here is a wasteland of garbage, and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her, smiled, and told her, "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an employee."
From India, Pune
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it to Heaven, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"That's not my problem. Just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from above. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven, and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind; I prefer to stay in Heaven," said the woman.
"Sorry, we have to follow the rules..."
And with that, St. Peter put the woman in an elevator, and it went down, down, down to Hell. The doors opened, and she found herself stepping out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with. They were well-dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up, hugged her, talked about good old times, played an excellent round of golf, and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil, who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute), and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up, up, up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter was waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing and singing. She had a great time, and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up, and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell, and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," St. Peter said.
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this; I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator, and again she went down, down, down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here, and there was a beautiful golf course, a country club, we ate lobster, danced, and had a great time. Now all that is here is a wasteland of garbage, and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her, smiled, and told her, "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an employee."
From India, Pune
Hi Hemant,
That was a good one. The message is partially true — to get the best talent, potential candidates are shown a very lush green field and beautiful picturesque scenario, but what one gets to see actually on joining is quite different. This is the case even with the best of companies. It's a big shock for employees when they envision the vast difference between the picture shown and the actual thing — while recruiting, we forget that by doing this, we might be playing with the expectations, future, and lives of individuals. I'm sure many of us have personally experienced the torture of a company's false promises. This should make us sensitive so as to ensure we do not become a party to such fake promises. What say?
Regards,
Swati
From India, Chennai
That was a good one. The message is partially true — to get the best talent, potential candidates are shown a very lush green field and beautiful picturesque scenario, but what one gets to see actually on joining is quite different. This is the case even with the best of companies. It's a big shock for employees when they envision the vast difference between the picture shown and the actual thing — while recruiting, we forget that by doing this, we might be playing with the expectations, future, and lives of individuals. I'm sure many of us have personally experienced the torture of a company's false promises. This should make us sensitive so as to ensure we do not become a party to such fake promises. What say?
Regards,
Swati
From India, Chennai
Hi,
I guess the latest trend is to have special training centers where the induction as well as the initial 2 to 4 months of training is given. These training centers are nothing less than 5-star resorts with all kinds of facilities: gym, swimming pool, tennis/badminton courts, plush lawns, huge campus... everything lavish. Once you get into the grind of work and report to the actual office for work, you end up in open cubicles with absolutely no time to enjoy the 'lavish facilities' (if they still exist).
Well, I don't know who is to blame, but that's the way things are. Even if facilities are provided, the workload is such that hardly anyone gets time to enjoy the same. The facilities planned and implemented will be actually effective only when their usage level is high and the number of employees taking benefit out of it is high.
From Switzerland, Geneva
I guess the latest trend is to have special training centers where the induction as well as the initial 2 to 4 months of training is given. These training centers are nothing less than 5-star resorts with all kinds of facilities: gym, swimming pool, tennis/badminton courts, plush lawns, huge campus... everything lavish. Once you get into the grind of work and report to the actual office for work, you end up in open cubicles with absolutely no time to enjoy the 'lavish facilities' (if they still exist).
Well, I don't know who is to blame, but that's the way things are. Even if facilities are provided, the workload is such that hardly anyone gets time to enjoy the same. The facilities planned and implemented will be actually effective only when their usage level is high and the number of employees taking benefit out of it is high.
From Switzerland, Geneva
Hi Swati,
Yes, I totally agree with you. It is us, the HR people, who show greener fields to our new recruits, and when they actually join their respective departments, the scene is different. However, I think that if we show a rosy picture, then we should work really hard to actually make the rosy things happen. HR can make a big difference in the life of all employees.
What do you say?
From India, Pune
Yes, I totally agree with you. It is us, the HR people, who show greener fields to our new recruits, and when they actually join their respective departments, the scene is different. However, I think that if we show a rosy picture, then we should work really hard to actually make the rosy things happen. HR can make a big difference in the life of all employees.
What do you say?
From India, Pune
Hi Hemant & Swati! Agree with your views, but I guess that's how most HR departments portray their offerings. There could be exceptions to the rule, but I've been a victim of this game too. I feel I'm stuck in a profile where I don't fit in, and this was recommended by HR to me! I thought HR was about putting the right people at the right time in the right place. They've surely put the wrong person in the wrong time and in the wrong place in my case at least! But let me ask you guys something... is the grass always greener on the other side? Or are our reactions right? Ciao! Lalita
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi,
I quite disagree with both the Humors in this post. First of all, the HR department has to be split into two categories. One is the resourcing department, and the other is the General or core HR department. I do agree that the resourcing team at times shows the greener side, but it is also true that every person has to work somewhere. All places would have some negative factors. For that matter, even a housewife would have lots of non-positive factors.
It is just the way we take it. When we put on green spectacles, everything looks green.
It so happens that when the resourcing team shows a greener side, it affects the core HR as well. The attrition rate and employee satisfaction are the Key Result Areas (KRAs) for any Generalist HR. They have to do their best to retain an unsatisfied employee. So, in my opinion, it would not be right to make a general statement about the HR department.
Also, it is my personal experience that management comes to you and tells you that since you are in HR (considered unproductive as the humor puts it), you are not eligible for incentives and benefits. But they fail to understand that managing people is also a big challenge, and I believe that bringing in new business is easy, but retaining existing business is difficult. Therefore, the 'Core HR' department also needs to be treated at par with any other revenue-generating department.
Everywhere I have been, I have distinguished the HR department into resourcing and core HR because I am an HR Generalist and have faced the brunt. Even the resourcing team is considered on par with the marketing team, but everywhere the Core HR is affected in terms of their objectives and also when it comes to incentives.
Let me know if I need to change my views.
From India, Bangalore
I quite disagree with both the Humors in this post. First of all, the HR department has to be split into two categories. One is the resourcing department, and the other is the General or core HR department. I do agree that the resourcing team at times shows the greener side, but it is also true that every person has to work somewhere. All places would have some negative factors. For that matter, even a housewife would have lots of non-positive factors.
It is just the way we take it. When we put on green spectacles, everything looks green.
It so happens that when the resourcing team shows a greener side, it affects the core HR as well. The attrition rate and employee satisfaction are the Key Result Areas (KRAs) for any Generalist HR. They have to do their best to retain an unsatisfied employee. So, in my opinion, it would not be right to make a general statement about the HR department.
Also, it is my personal experience that management comes to you and tells you that since you are in HR (considered unproductive as the humor puts it), you are not eligible for incentives and benefits. But they fail to understand that managing people is also a big challenge, and I believe that bringing in new business is easy, but retaining existing business is difficult. Therefore, the 'Core HR' department also needs to be treated at par with any other revenue-generating department.
Everywhere I have been, I have distinguished the HR department into resourcing and core HR because I am an HR Generalist and have faced the brunt. Even the resourcing team is considered on par with the marketing team, but everywhere the Core HR is affected in terms of their objectives and also when it comes to incentives.
Let me know if I need to change my views.
From India, Bangalore
Hi, soms23!
You seem to have taken it very personally!
The humor was supposed to be taken in good spirits. All departments in an organization are mocked at in some way or another, so take it easy. You needn't get so defensive.
I agree with your classification of HR into sourcing and 'core/managerial' HR. In our company too, we follow something similar.
If you reread my post, you'll notice that I had concluded on the note of the grass possibly always being greener on the other side. That should pacify your grievance. 😄
You know what? The HR department in our office is called Hopeless Resources and/or Harmful Resources! 😄 Just kidding!
HR is surely on par with any other department of an organization. If it weren't for HR, you and I wouldn't be where we are today!
I agree with you, soms23, on what you've written about the incentives part. In most cases, people in all departments have deliverables that help them earn their variable pay. Generally, HR gets left out in this. That's not fair! There should be some quality and/or quantity targets for HR people too, to earn more money and motivation.
After all, the HR team, which has to motivate others, needs some motivation for itself too!
What do you say, people?
Ciao!
Lalita
From India, Madras
You seem to have taken it very personally!
The humor was supposed to be taken in good spirits. All departments in an organization are mocked at in some way or another, so take it easy. You needn't get so defensive.
I agree with your classification of HR into sourcing and 'core/managerial' HR. In our company too, we follow something similar.
If you reread my post, you'll notice that I had concluded on the note of the grass possibly always being greener on the other side. That should pacify your grievance. 😄
You know what? The HR department in our office is called Hopeless Resources and/or Harmful Resources! 😄 Just kidding!
HR is surely on par with any other department of an organization. If it weren't for HR, you and I wouldn't be where we are today!
I agree with you, soms23, on what you've written about the incentives part. In most cases, people in all departments have deliverables that help them earn their variable pay. Generally, HR gets left out in this. That's not fair! There should be some quality and/or quantity targets for HR people too, to earn more money and motivation.
After all, the HR team, which has to motivate others, needs some motivation for itself too!
What do you say, people?
Ciao!
Lalita
From India, Madras
Hi Lalita and Som3,
I agree with all of you. HR does have some kinds of categories. The main motive of the humor was just HUMOR! Nothing else... But if you really think, don't you feel this kind of "greener pastures" happens in our everyday life also? How often have you felt that your friend has a better job, better car, or maybe a better spouse! These kinds of comparisons do occur, and if you remember, there is a motivation theory based on this very fact.
I strongly agree with your views that YES HR SHOULD have incentives. Our work also has KRAs, and based on that, an incentive plan can be chalked out. Our work is to motivate the people and get the work done in an efficient and effective way.
Hey, why don't we all get together and build some framework for giving incentives to HR people? What do you people say?
From India, Pune
I agree with all of you. HR does have some kinds of categories. The main motive of the humor was just HUMOR! Nothing else... But if you really think, don't you feel this kind of "greener pastures" happens in our everyday life also? How often have you felt that your friend has a better job, better car, or maybe a better spouse! These kinds of comparisons do occur, and if you remember, there is a motivation theory based on this very fact.
I strongly agree with your views that YES HR SHOULD have incentives. Our work also has KRAs, and based on that, an incentive plan can be chalked out. Our work is to motivate the people and get the work done in an efficient and effective way.
Hey, why don't we all get together and build some framework for giving incentives to HR people? What do you people say?
From India, Pune
Hi Hemant! I second your opinion. Our 'jokes' were meant for humor and were hence not meant to be taken seriously. HR also should have incentives, but....what can be the deliverables? As soms23 said, HR can be broadly classified into sourcing and 'core/managing' HR....let's take the example of sourcing.... The deliverables for sourcing can be the number of people recruited on time. However, the HR team might try to rush the process to achieve their targets, potentially compromising on the quality of hires. If the quality of recruits is considered a parameter, it may not be detectable for at least a quarter, so the HR team may not earn incentives for 3-4 months in a row at least. What could be the solution to this? I invite suggestions from all our forum members on this.... "What can be the parameters for HR people for earning incentives/variable pay?" Do let me know what you think of this.... Cheers! Lalita
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi Soms,
I do agree with you, HR does contribute to revenue. HR is responsible for controlling attrition and adopting retention strategies. Recruiters should work by seeing themselves as HR professionals. But nowadays, people promote themselves as telemarketers or part of the marketing team. This is a part of marketing, but it is not just selling a position; it is about selling a position to the right person. We need to choose the right candidate. This is where HR and Marketing differentiate in recruiting.
Humor has to be taken as humor, still, it holds moral value which we need to identify!
Thanks,
Pramod
Bangalore.
From India, Bangalore
I do agree with you, HR does contribute to revenue. HR is responsible for controlling attrition and adopting retention strategies. Recruiters should work by seeing themselves as HR professionals. But nowadays, people promote themselves as telemarketers or part of the marketing team. This is a part of marketing, but it is not just selling a position; it is about selling a position to the right person. We need to choose the right candidate. This is where HR and Marketing differentiate in recruiting.
Humor has to be taken as humor, still, it holds moral value which we need to identify!
Thanks,
Pramod
Bangalore.
From India, Bangalore
Hi,
First of all, I am sorry if I have hurt anybody. I did not take it personally, but I guess my tone was harsh. But I did not mean that. It's just that I have been thinking about this for quite some time now. In fact, I happened to leave my previous organization also due to this reason.
Fortunately, in my present company, they are open to incentives for all departments, including HR and R&D. It is also one of my KRAs to suggest incentive patterns.
I am working on it and shall soon come up with something positive.
Regards,
Soumya Shankar
From India, Bangalore
First of all, I am sorry if I have hurt anybody. I did not take it personally, but I guess my tone was harsh. But I did not mean that. It's just that I have been thinking about this for quite some time now. In fact, I happened to leave my previous organization also due to this reason.
Fortunately, in my present company, they are open to incentives for all departments, including HR and R&D. It is also one of my KRAs to suggest incentive patterns.
I am working on it and shall soon come up with something positive.
Regards,
Soumya Shankar
From India, Bangalore
Hi Soumya! You needn't be sorry... it's ok. From your reaction, we can surely make out that you're very passionate about HR, and that's a positive sign. Why be sorry about it? :) You were saying that you left your previous organization because of "this"... may I ask what you were referring to as "this"? In the context of your post, it could be interpreted in two ways: 1) due to a lack of incentives, or 2) due to your harshness. :wink: And hey, do let me know if you manage to work out parameters for incentivized HR pay. Cheers! Lalita
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Dear Lalitha,
'This' means the HR department is being considered 'unproductive'. The entire staff would get incentives except for me, and you won't believe I was the only person not to have a mobile when I was managing 200 employees. It's the partiality that hurts.
I mentioned 'this', referring to our topic of importance not being given to the HR department.
Regards, Soumya Shankar
From India, Bangalore
'This' means the HR department is being considered 'unproductive'. The entire staff would get incentives except for me, and you won't believe I was the only person not to have a mobile when I was managing 200 employees. It's the partiality that hurts.
I mentioned 'this', referring to our topic of importance not being given to the HR department.
Regards, Soumya Shankar
From India, Bangalore
Hey Sowmya,
This really sucks, but there should be some reason why they were doing that. Were you a fresher? Because I am here as a fresher and I have joined on a contract basis, so even I am not eligible to enjoy all the incentives that permanent employees enjoy. If you were not a fresher, then I agree it was done with intentions, or you did not approach to claim your benefits. You should know the reason why.
Pramod
From India, Bangalore
This really sucks, but there should be some reason why they were doing that. Were you a fresher? Because I am here as a fresher and I have joined on a contract basis, so even I am not eligible to enjoy all the incentives that permanent employees enjoy. If you were not a fresher, then I agree it was done with intentions, or you did not approach to claim your benefits. You should know the reason why.
Pramod
From India, Bangalore
Hi Soumya! That's sad to know, yaar. Why that discrimination between you and the others? If this kind of prejudice exists in a company, employees are bound to be dissatisfied. No surprise that you quit! In fact, it's good that you left! Probably now they must be crying over the resource that they've lost! 😜
In our company, fortunately, this does not exist. People in the executive cadre do not get incentives for the first 6 months; after that, they too are eligible for incentives along with the rest of the employees. Of course, the percentage differs. So, that's what, in our HR guys' view, keeps them pretty satisfied.
Don't worry. Everything will fall into place. It's a matter of time, I guess. So keep smiling! 😄
Cheers!
Lalita
From India, Madras
In our company, fortunately, this does not exist. People in the executive cadre do not get incentives for the first 6 months; after that, they too are eligible for incentives along with the rest of the employees. Of course, the percentage differs. So, that's what, in our HR guys' view, keeps them pretty satisfied.
Don't worry. Everything will fall into place. It's a matter of time, I guess. So keep smiling! 😄
Cheers!
Lalita
From India, Madras
Hi Lalita!
Hmmm... there seems to be confusion here. You said that you would be interested to know or maybe work out a framework for incentives for HR. And now you say that your company's HR people are quite satisfied and your company has an incentive program. How come?
From India, Pune
Hmmm... there seems to be confusion here. You said that you would be interested to know or maybe work out a framework for incentives for HR. And now you say that your company's HR people are quite satisfied and your company has an incentive program. How come?
From India, Pune
Okay, let's not continue bashing this around. HR has a very major contribution to any company; otherwise, companies won't spend so much on maintaining such a department. The company I work for [a startup] is having major problems retaining brilliant programmers because of the lack of a good human resource section. Recruiting, training, motivation, and retention help strengthen the backbone of any company.
The philosophy that many of the other departments believe in is partially due to the fact that HR is more of an organizational function, which inadvertently leads many cynics to criticize the whole function of such a department.
Yes, there are often times when the whole function comes across as a mere gimmick to a programmer, but you need to understand that criticism is something that needs to be dealt with rather than criticized itself. Come to think of it, the only times the operations people come in proper contact with the HR folks are either during appraisals, trainings, seminars, or some fun get-together, so they fail to see many of the things that have gone into building the organization that supports such features.
Sometimes I am glad you left that place. It was unfair practice, and if it had been in the US or UK, you could have sued them and made a million out of it. Relax and concentrate on your work. There are many great companies coming to India, and I am sure you will get a great break somewhere soon.
Regards,
CiteHR Admin
Quick tip: Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (m-w.com) is the easiest way to access a dictionary online.
From India, Gurgaon
The philosophy that many of the other departments believe in is partially due to the fact that HR is more of an organizational function, which inadvertently leads many cynics to criticize the whole function of such a department.
Yes, there are often times when the whole function comes across as a mere gimmick to a programmer, but you need to understand that criticism is something that needs to be dealt with rather than criticized itself. Come to think of it, the only times the operations people come in proper contact with the HR folks are either during appraisals, trainings, seminars, or some fun get-together, so they fail to see many of the things that have gone into building the organization that supports such features.
Sometimes I am glad you left that place. It was unfair practice, and if it had been in the US or UK, you could have sued them and made a million out of it. Relax and concentrate on your work. There are many great companies coming to India, and I am sure you will get a great break somewhere soon.
Regards,
CiteHR Admin
Quick tip: Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (m-w.com) is the easiest way to access a dictionary online.
From India, Gurgaon
Hi Folks,
I am visiting this site after a gap of a few days. I am very happy to see the depth of discussions and opinions shared by all. Great job! Keep it up!
Well, someone said that we (HR) tend to paint a rosy picture. Yes, it's true to some extent as it is inherent in all of us. I am sure we have all, at some point in time, put our best foot forward while interacting with others, especially during the initial courtship days. Let's be honest about it. The same attitude is reflected in our professional lives as well.
One fact I would like to highlight is that we, as HR professionals, have to be passionate about the work we do, no matter what tasks or assignments are given by the management. Last week, I recommended to my client, who had just hired a person in a senior management position, to do the following:
1. Invite him to the workplace to experience the environment and culture.
2. Recommend the HR department to send his visiting cards home prior to him joining the office and at the end of his first day, suggest taking his family out for dinner and billing the company for the same.
Perhaps this may help in curbing the rosy picture. For this, HR has to take a strategic role in advising the management.
Cheerio,
Rajat
From India, Pune
I am visiting this site after a gap of a few days. I am very happy to see the depth of discussions and opinions shared by all. Great job! Keep it up!
Well, someone said that we (HR) tend to paint a rosy picture. Yes, it's true to some extent as it is inherent in all of us. I am sure we have all, at some point in time, put our best foot forward while interacting with others, especially during the initial courtship days. Let's be honest about it. The same attitude is reflected in our professional lives as well.
One fact I would like to highlight is that we, as HR professionals, have to be passionate about the work we do, no matter what tasks or assignments are given by the management. Last week, I recommended to my client, who had just hired a person in a senior management position, to do the following:
1. Invite him to the workplace to experience the environment and culture.
2. Recommend the HR department to send his visiting cards home prior to him joining the office and at the end of his first day, suggest taking his family out for dinner and billing the company for the same.
Perhaps this may help in curbing the rosy picture. For this, HR has to take a strategic role in advising the management.
Cheerio,
Rajat
From India, Pune
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