Hi, my previous manager has given negative feedback to my current employer regarding my behavior. I sometimes used to masturbate during weekends at home and occasionally suffered from nightfall during weekdays. As a result, my body would have a light smell, but he deemed it unprofessional.
Now, I am married, and my wife expects intimacy every weekend as we do not have kids yet. However, due to the previous manager's feedback and the slight odor from my body after physical intimacy on weekends, which lingers for the next 2 or 3 days, my manager is questioning my behavior and professionalism.
I am unable to openly discuss this with the manager due to privacy concerns, but I am also struggling to find a solution to this issue. I have consulted with doctors, and they all say it is a natural process and advise letting it occur without trying to suppress it, as there is no harm caused by the body's mechanisms or for any other reason.
How should I handle this situation?
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)
Amend(0)
Now, I am married, and my wife expects intimacy every weekend as we do not have kids yet. However, due to the previous manager's feedback and the slight odor from my body after physical intimacy on weekends, which lingers for the next 2 or 3 days, my manager is questioning my behavior and professionalism.
I am unable to openly discuss this with the manager due to privacy concerns, but I am also struggling to find a solution to this issue. I have consulted with doctors, and they all say it is a natural process and advise letting it occur without trying to suppress it, as there is no harm caused by the body's mechanisms or for any other reason.
How should I handle this situation?
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi,
Personal Hygiene
Ensure that you maintain good personal hygiene, especially during work hours. Regular showers, using deodorant, and clean clothing can help address any concerns about body odor.
Addressing Feedback
If possible, without violating your privacy, address the feedback indirectly. You might express to your manager that you've taken feedback seriously and have made efforts to improve your overall professionalism, without going into explicit details.
Communication with Manager
Consider having a professional conversation with your manager about your commitment to your job and addressing any specific concerns they may have. You don't need to disclose personal details, but you can emphasize your dedication to maintaining a professional image at work.
Medical Advice
If you have consulted with doctors who confirm that your health practices are normal and not harmful, consider obtaining a medical note or statement to share with your manager. This could help provide reassurance about the nature of the situation.
Work-Life Balance
If your manager is concerned about your overall professionalism, emphasize your commitment to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Mention that you have made adjustments to ensure your personal life does not interfere with your work responsibilities.
Thanks
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
202Personal Hygiene
Ensure that you maintain good personal hygiene, especially during work hours. Regular showers, using deodorant, and clean clothing can help address any concerns about body odor.
Addressing Feedback
If possible, without violating your privacy, address the feedback indirectly. You might express to your manager that you've taken feedback seriously and have made efforts to improve your overall professionalism, without going into explicit details.
Communication with Manager
Consider having a professional conversation with your manager about your commitment to your job and addressing any specific concerns they may have. You don't need to disclose personal details, but you can emphasize your dedication to maintaining a professional image at work.
Medical Advice
If you have consulted with doctors who confirm that your health practices are normal and not harmful, consider obtaining a medical note or statement to share with your manager. This could help provide reassurance about the nature of the situation.
Work-Life Balance
If your manager is concerned about your overall professionalism, emphasize your commitment to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Mention that you have made adjustments to ensure your personal life does not interfere with your work responsibilities.
Thanks
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear member,
Your query is puzzling to many. Despite the complexity of the post, I find a logical inconsistency in your message.
Manager's Complaints
This is the second employment where your manager has complained about an odor emanating from your body. Their objections are valid because it is challenging to work with a colleague whose body has an unpleasant smell. Their irritation is understandable.
Family's Role
If the odor is present at the office, it should be noticeable at home as well. Why haven't your family members brought this to your attention? How do you tolerate the smell yourself? What about your spouse? Why hasn't she suggested any corrective measures? Generally, Indian women are known for their methodical and orderly approach. Your problem seems beyond the average person's imagination, yet your wife has not attempted to address it. There seems to be more than meets the eye.
Addressing the Issue
You have mentioned the causes of the odor, but it seems more like an excuse than a plan for corrective action. Blaming your previous manager for informing the current manager about the odor does not solve the issue. In your current employment, are you not confirming this feedback? Can the situation be changed by blaming others or avoiding self-examination?
Seeking Solutions
People come to this forum seeking solutions. Mr. VM Lakshminarayanan, a senior member, has provided a solution. I suggest you explore further. Research online about maintaining personal hygiene and sanitation. List the points and determine which ones merit implementation with extreme conscientiousness. Some people sweat more than others; if you belong to this category, removing body hair may be necessary.
The situation is serious and could impact your employment. It is crucial for you to address it promptly.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Your query is puzzling to many. Despite the complexity of the post, I find a logical inconsistency in your message.
Manager's Complaints
This is the second employment where your manager has complained about an odor emanating from your body. Their objections are valid because it is challenging to work with a colleague whose body has an unpleasant smell. Their irritation is understandable.
Family's Role
If the odor is present at the office, it should be noticeable at home as well. Why haven't your family members brought this to your attention? How do you tolerate the smell yourself? What about your spouse? Why hasn't she suggested any corrective measures? Generally, Indian women are known for their methodical and orderly approach. Your problem seems beyond the average person's imagination, yet your wife has not attempted to address it. There seems to be more than meets the eye.
Addressing the Issue
You have mentioned the causes of the odor, but it seems more like an excuse than a plan for corrective action. Blaming your previous manager for informing the current manager about the odor does not solve the issue. In your current employment, are you not confirming this feedback? Can the situation be changed by blaming others or avoiding self-examination?
Seeking Solutions
People come to this forum seeking solutions. Mr. VM Lakshminarayanan, a senior member, has provided a solution. I suggest you explore further. Research online about maintaining personal hygiene and sanitation. List the points and determine which ones merit implementation with extreme conscientiousness. Some people sweat more than others; if you belong to this category, removing body hair may be necessary.
The situation is serious and could impact your employment. It is crucial for you to address it promptly.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi Dinesh Divekar,
My post should not be handled considering sex and masturbation as taboo. If you are already married, you might already know about the smell that I am talking about (a mix of nitric oxide, ammonia, bleach, or chlorine).
The smell can be due to sexual arousal or morning wood, which no one has control over, resulting in precum (which is different from semen).
Also, when someone ejaculates, the body expels remaining semen from the vas deferens during the course of the following 2 or 3 days, which is completely a normal process.
Some people do have an excessive uncontrolled urge for ejaculation. How and why should they suppress it?
Everyone has to do something for a living, and just because someone struggles with maintaining body odor on a regular basis, should stringent policies jeopardize someone's career?
Hygiene and smell are completely different; not necessarily is bad smell always unhygienic.
Companies always boast about contributing to environmental issues, social welfare, etc. Then why are companies so dogmatic on HR policies for stringent professionalism jeopardizing someone's career, leading to daily mental pressure affecting the right to privacy?
I think OMG2 is a better watch!!
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
My post should not be handled considering sex and masturbation as taboo. If you are already married, you might already know about the smell that I am talking about (a mix of nitric oxide, ammonia, bleach, or chlorine).
The smell can be due to sexual arousal or morning wood, which no one has control over, resulting in precum (which is different from semen).
Also, when someone ejaculates, the body expels remaining semen from the vas deferens during the course of the following 2 or 3 days, which is completely a normal process.
Some people do have an excessive uncontrolled urge for ejaculation. How and why should they suppress it?
Everyone has to do something for a living, and just because someone struggles with maintaining body odor on a regular basis, should stringent policies jeopardize someone's career?
Hygiene and smell are completely different; not necessarily is bad smell always unhygienic.
Companies always boast about contributing to environmental issues, social welfare, etc. Then why are companies so dogmatic on HR policies for stringent professionalism jeopardizing someone's career, leading to daily mental pressure affecting the right to privacy?
I think OMG2 is a better watch!!
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear member,
It appears that your problem is unique and beyond the understanding of the common person. Infusing your post with technical details, you have come up with your defense. Nevertheless, your second post did not answer some of the questions asked in my post.
Defending one's position on a public forum like Citehr has no enduring value. This is a matter between you and your company. We members of this forum are a third party. We have limitations in interpreting the situation. Nevertheless, your body odor is impacting your employment. Whether to continue to defend your position and forego a second job or to take corrective measures and protect employment is your call. We, the members, cannot undo the situation!
The only recommendation I can give is to consult a psychotherapist.
All the best!
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
It appears that your problem is unique and beyond the understanding of the common person. Infusing your post with technical details, you have come up with your defense. Nevertheless, your second post did not answer some of the questions asked in my post.
Defending one's position on a public forum like Citehr has no enduring value. This is a matter between you and your company. We members of this forum are a third party. We have limitations in interpreting the situation. Nevertheless, your body odor is impacting your employment. Whether to continue to defend your position and forego a second job or to take corrective measures and protect employment is your call. We, the members, cannot undo the situation!
The only recommendation I can give is to consult a psychotherapist.
All the best!
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi Aussiejohn,
Even though it might appear as prima facie evidence of an unhygienic condition, I have a few points to point out.
Colleagues were seated next to me for years, and they had no issues. Even though the smell used to be subtle, it never caused others not to sit beside or around me. Otherwise, colleagues would have raised this with my manager beforehand, and at least I would have been made aware or given warnings from my manager.
It was only when I raised concerns with HR about being bullied by these colleagues that they started making allegations about body odor. Don't you smell something fishy about office politics targeting someone with such minor issues?
I never went to the office without taking a bath, always dressed cleanly, and applied perfume. However, when I had a good time during weekends, my body would start emanating a subtle smell in the following 2-3 days, more so after urinating. Doctors performed all tests and confirmed it's completely normal and the smell is expected.
Now, the question is, will a subtle smell also lead to termination? Do I need to compromise my private life with my wife to avoid being perceived as smelly?
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Even though it might appear as prima facie evidence of an unhygienic condition, I have a few points to point out.
Colleagues were seated next to me for years, and they had no issues. Even though the smell used to be subtle, it never caused others not to sit beside or around me. Otherwise, colleagues would have raised this with my manager beforehand, and at least I would have been made aware or given warnings from my manager.
It was only when I raised concerns with HR about being bullied by these colleagues that they started making allegations about body odor. Don't you smell something fishy about office politics targeting someone with such minor issues?
I never went to the office without taking a bath, always dressed cleanly, and applied perfume. However, when I had a good time during weekends, my body would start emanating a subtle smell in the following 2-3 days, more so after urinating. Doctors performed all tests and confirmed it's completely normal and the smell is expected.
Now, the question is, will a subtle smell also lead to termination? Do I need to compromise my private life with my wife to avoid being perceived as smelly?
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)CiteHR is an AI-augmented HR knowledge and collaboration platform, enabling HR professionals to solve real-world challenges, validate decisions, and stay ahead through collective intelligence and machine-enhanced guidance. Join Our Platform.
This discussion thread is old and is closed for new comments. If you want to continue this discussion or have a follow up question, please post a new thread. Add the url of this thread if you want to cite this discussion.
Food Safety & Personal Hygiene Awareness Training 1.pptx
Personal Protective Equipment.zip