Jeppiar, the chairman of Satyabama Engineering College and some other colleges in Chennai, is very famous among his college students for his funny English. Now, enjoy a few of the English sentences spoken by Jeppiar. Friends, they are extremely funny and you might burst into laughter, so be careful. These are a few comedies about Jeppiar The Great. (Mind you, these are facts!)
Nice to read... read it fully... you will really enjoy it...
The chairman of the famous JEPPIAAR group of engineering colleges speaks to his students.
About his family:
- I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)
At the ground:
- All of you, stand in a straight circle.
- There is no wind in the balloon.
- The girl with the mirror, please come here... (Meaning the girl with glasses).
To a boy, angrily:
- I talk, he talks, why do you talk in the middle?
Giving a punishment:
- You, rotate the ground four times...
- You, go and understand the tree...
- You three, stand together separately.
- Why are you late - say YES or NO... (?)
Jeppiar at his best:
Jeppiar had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at college... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."
Inside the Class:
- Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
- Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
- Shhh... Quiet, boys... the principal just passed away in the corridor.
- You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class...)
- Both of you, get out of the class.
- I have a cold today...
- Take a copper wire of any metal, especially silver...
- Take a 5 cm wire of any length...
Once Jeppiar had come late to a college function, by the time the function had started, so he went to the dais and said, "Sorry I am late because on the way my car hit two muttons" (Meaning goats).
Let me tell you some of the dialogues heard during Sathyabama College Day 2001 -
"This college strict you, the worry no... you get good marks, I am happy, tomorrow you get a good job, JPR is happy, tomorrow you marry, I enjoy."
St. Joseph Freshers Day 2003 -
"No ragging in this college. Anybody who rags will be arrested by the police."
From India, Hyderabad
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Nice to read... read it fully... you will really enjoy it...
The chairman of the famous JEPPIAAR group of engineering colleges speaks to his students.
About his family:
- I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)
At the ground:
- All of you, stand in a straight circle.
- There is no wind in the balloon.
- The girl with the mirror, please come here... (Meaning the girl with glasses).
To a boy, angrily:
- I talk, he talks, why do you talk in the middle?
Giving a punishment:
- You, rotate the ground four times...
- You, go and understand the tree...
- You three, stand together separately.
- Why are you late - say YES or NO... (?)
Jeppiar at his best:
Jeppiar had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at college... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."
Inside the Class:
- Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
- Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
- Shhh... Quiet, boys... the principal just passed away in the corridor.
- You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class...)
- Both of you, get out of the class.
- I have a cold today...
- Take a copper wire of any metal, especially silver...
- Take a 5 cm wire of any length...
Once Jeppiar had come late to a college function, by the time the function had started, so he went to the dais and said, "Sorry I am late because on the way my car hit two muttons" (Meaning goats).
Let me tell you some of the dialogues heard during Sathyabama College Day 2001 -
"This college strict you, the worry no... you get good marks, I am happy, tomorrow you get a good job, JPR is happy, tomorrow you marry, I enjoy."
St. Joseph Freshers Day 2003 -
"No ragging in this college. Anybody who rags will be arrested by the police."
From India, Hyderabad
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Hi All,
You must have read it previously. I hope you are going to enjoy it again.
One more thing, no malice to our Bihari Brethren.
A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new school in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on Independence Day. Here's his dynamite speech:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Strictly speaking, I wanted to join your school more quickly, but for the following reason. Too much time was lost in getting sleeper reservation in the three-tier compartment. The clerk rejected to give a ticket. I put a complaint to the stationmaster. He told me to go to the lady clerk. At first, she also rejected. I then pressed her for a long time and at last with great difficulty, she gave birth only to my son. Anyway, I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for the birth of my son. We got independence because of great leaders like Gandhiji who kicked out all the English people from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birthright and we shall have it. Today we all have our birthright. You children are the future dynamic generators of the nation. Look into the future time only. No looking back, or looking at your behind. Be great like X'raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton, etc. You know genius, no? It is one percent perspiration and ninety-seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish with you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A, and other degrees. Then you can become great lawyers in the supreme courts, skilled accountants, or scholars in college. The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, the classroom is the soil. We will plant you in this soil, pour the water of knowledge on your heads, and one day you all will become great flowers. Many job vacancies come in papers. Only yesterday I saw in the paper "Wanted for a reputed engineering firm: - Generators, high-power condensers" and so forth. These jobs may be technical, but you can shine.
If you have a flair for English, you can become a teacher. I am now ending this quickly.
May God bless you! Thank you and thank God!
From India, Delhi
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3You must have read it previously. I hope you are going to enjoy it again.
One more thing, no malice to our Bihari Brethren.
A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new school in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on Independence Day. Here's his dynamite speech:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Strictly speaking, I wanted to join your school more quickly, but for the following reason. Too much time was lost in getting sleeper reservation in the three-tier compartment. The clerk rejected to give a ticket. I put a complaint to the stationmaster. He told me to go to the lady clerk. At first, she also rejected. I then pressed her for a long time and at last with great difficulty, she gave birth only to my son. Anyway, I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for the birth of my son. We got independence because of great leaders like Gandhiji who kicked out all the English people from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birthright and we shall have it. Today we all have our birthright. You children are the future dynamic generators of the nation. Look into the future time only. No looking back, or looking at your behind. Be great like X'raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton, etc. You know genius, no? It is one percent perspiration and ninety-seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish with you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A, and other degrees. Then you can become great lawyers in the supreme courts, skilled accountants, or scholars in college. The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, the classroom is the soil. We will plant you in this soil, pour the water of knowledge on your heads, and one day you all will become great flowers. Many job vacancies come in papers. Only yesterday I saw in the paper "Wanted for a reputed engineering firm: - Generators, high-power condensers" and so forth. These jobs may be technical, but you can shine.
If you have a flair for English, you can become a teacher. I am now ending this quickly.
May God bless you! Thank you and thank God!
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
ENGLISH OF A DESI TEACHER
In class:
- Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
- Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
- Cut an apple in two halves - take the bigger half.
- Shhh... Quiet, boys... the principal just passed away outside.
- Both of you three, get out of the class.
- Close the doors of the window.
- Take Copper Wire of any metal, especially of Silver.
- Take a 5 cm wire of any length.
About family:
- I have two daughters, both of them are girls.
At the playground:
- All of you, stand in a straight circle.
- There is no wind in the balloon.
Punishment:
- You, rotate the ground four times.
- You, go and understand the tree.
- You three, stand together separately.
- Why are you late - say YES or NO.
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
In class:
- Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
- Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
- Cut an apple in two halves - take the bigger half.
- Shhh... Quiet, boys... the principal just passed away outside.
- Both of you three, get out of the class.
- Close the doors of the window.
- Take Copper Wire of any metal, especially of Silver.
- Take a 5 cm wire of any length.
About family:
- I have two daughters, both of them are girls.
At the playground:
- All of you, stand in a straight circle.
- There is no wind in the balloon.
Punishment:
- You, rotate the ground four times.
- You, go and understand the tree.
- You three, stand together separately.
- Why are you late - say YES or NO.
From India, Delhi
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