Hi all,
I was disappointed when none of you gave me any remarks on the article Conflict Management.
Anyway, I'm completing this article with the second part now, hope you will give your valuable inputs on this.
Two basic dimensions of Conflict Behavior:
Assertiveness:
This happens when your views and opinions appear to be incompatible with others. These kinds of situations show that your assertiveness is the degree to which you try to satisfy your views and opinions.
Cooperativeness:
This is the degree to which you try to give the other person's views and opinions more importance than yours. The word itself suggests being receptive to the other person's ideas.
Conflict Handling Modes
There are five combinations of assertiveness and cooperativeness, which are discussed here.
- Competing:
It is assertive and uncooperative. Here you try to satisfy yourself and give no value to the other person.
- Collaborating:
It is both assertive and cooperative. Here a win-win solution is looked at which satisfies both the parties involved.
- Compromising:
It is in the middle, none of the components is given high importance. It is a situation where you accept a settlement which only partially satisfies both the parties.
- Avoiding:
This is both unassertive and uncooperative. You avoid the conflict without trying for any satisfaction to any of the parties concerned.
- Accommodating:
It is unassertive and cooperative. You give all the importance to the concerns of the other party at the expense of your own inputs.
Yes, the ultimate aim of all these five is the same to resolve conflict, but as per our nature and situations, we tend to wear any of these masks to resolve conflict.
How can we use these modes effectively?
When to Compete?
- Use this module as less as possible.
- Competing can be used on important issues where collaborating is not feasible, such as:
* When you are right
* When not so popular actions are required to be taken
* When quick decisions need to be taken
* To defend when under attack
* Too considerate people
* When consensus is not possible.
Behavioral skills for Competing:
* Persuasion
- Complete the groundwork
- Motives should be clearly explained
- Shared concern should be emphasized
- Be specific and credible
* Fighting fair
- Stick to the issue in discussion
- Give respect to the other party
- Listen carefully and respond
- Act as a referee
* Warnings not threats
- No threatening
- Warnings can be used
* Impose decision
- Assert your authority
- Reward the new behavior
- Follow up on deviations if they occur during discussions
* Support
- Be supportive
- Be tough-minded
- Keep talking about the issue of "Fitting"
When to Collaborate?
- Build the conditions where collaboration is possible
- Try to collaborate on important issues, like
* When both parties are vital for the organization
* When learning is involved
* Merge insights from diverse perspectives
* When commitment is needed
* When the concern is on maintaining relationships
Behavioral skills for collaborativeness:
* Right Tone:
- See others' positive concerns
- Use "we" and avoid the blame game
- Highlight the benefits of the solution
- Be polite
* Both parties' concern
- Talk about concerns and not positions
- Don't blame positions
- Share and discuss your concerns
- Help the other party to share their concerns
* Mutual Problem
- Use "and" and avoid "buts"
- An integrative approach to resolve conflict
* Brainstorm
- Be flexible and open
- Use exploratory language
- Agree on the best solution
* Collaborating in Groups
- Derive multiple alternatives
- Work on more information
- Create common goals
- Use humor
- Avoid power and authority
- Aim for consensus
When to Compromise?
- Not on vital issues
- When little is at stake
- Compromise when collaborating and competing are not feasible, such as
* When the people involved have equal powers
* When a temporary solution is sought
* When a fast decision is required under time pressure
* When assertiveness can harm relations
* When the other two Cs have failed
Behavioral skills for COMPROMISING:
* No Competing
- Gather information on the situation
- Suggest a compromise and don't appear weak
- Give concessions if reciprocated.
* Fairness
- Insist on being fair
- Determine the facts
- Maintain a give-and-take relationship
When to Avoid?
- Try not to do that
- To avoid emotional conflicts
- Issues of the blame game
- Control anger
- When discussions deviate to personalities
- Avoid when little is gained
- Unimportant issues
- Symptoms of other issues
- Anyone else can handle
- Too sensitive issues
- You know you cannot win
- Postpone
- Find time to gather information
- Refocus
- Take a break
- Change the setting
Behavioral Skills for AVOIDING
* Deciding what is important
- Clear-cut goals
- Joint goals
- Stick to goals
- Look for more information
* Do not sound weak
- Give reasons
- Set a time if postponing
- Use inviting language
* No Anger please
- Set psychological boundaries
- Give the benefit of the doubt
- Discharge anger politely
- Use fun and humor
When to Accommodate?
- Yield to a better position
- If you are persuaded
- When others have more information
- If you are losing
- When your boss is in the picture
- When you are outvoted by the group
- When you are outmatched
- Sacrifice
- Do a favor
- Let people try
- Boost confidence
- Accommodate to keep away hard feelings
- To repair damage
- To forgive others
Behavioral skills for ACCOMMODATING
* Concede gracefully
- Don't show sore emotions
- Explain the motive behind your action
* Satisfy a complaint
- Accept anger but no abuse
- Explain without sounding defensive
- Apologize if necessary
- Listen
- Reply politely
Ken Thomas is the original writer of conflict management; I just molded all this information in my own words.
Hope you will all like it.
Cheers
Archna
From India, Delhi
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115I was disappointed when none of you gave me any remarks on the article Conflict Management.
Anyway, I'm completing this article with the second part now, hope you will give your valuable inputs on this.
Two basic dimensions of Conflict Behavior:
Assertiveness:
This happens when your views and opinions appear to be incompatible with others. These kinds of situations show that your assertiveness is the degree to which you try to satisfy your views and opinions.
Cooperativeness:
This is the degree to which you try to give the other person's views and opinions more importance than yours. The word itself suggests being receptive to the other person's ideas.
Conflict Handling Modes
There are five combinations of assertiveness and cooperativeness, which are discussed here.
- Competing:
It is assertive and uncooperative. Here you try to satisfy yourself and give no value to the other person.
- Collaborating:
It is both assertive and cooperative. Here a win-win solution is looked at which satisfies both the parties involved.
- Compromising:
It is in the middle, none of the components is given high importance. It is a situation where you accept a settlement which only partially satisfies both the parties.
- Avoiding:
This is both unassertive and uncooperative. You avoid the conflict without trying for any satisfaction to any of the parties concerned.
- Accommodating:
It is unassertive and cooperative. You give all the importance to the concerns of the other party at the expense of your own inputs.
Yes, the ultimate aim of all these five is the same to resolve conflict, but as per our nature and situations, we tend to wear any of these masks to resolve conflict.
How can we use these modes effectively?
When to Compete?
- Use this module as less as possible.
- Competing can be used on important issues where collaborating is not feasible, such as:
* When you are right
* When not so popular actions are required to be taken
* When quick decisions need to be taken
* To defend when under attack
* Too considerate people
* When consensus is not possible.
Behavioral skills for Competing:
* Persuasion
- Complete the groundwork
- Motives should be clearly explained
- Shared concern should be emphasized
- Be specific and credible
* Fighting fair
- Stick to the issue in discussion
- Give respect to the other party
- Listen carefully and respond
- Act as a referee
* Warnings not threats
- No threatening
- Warnings can be used
* Impose decision
- Assert your authority
- Reward the new behavior
- Follow up on deviations if they occur during discussions
* Support
- Be supportive
- Be tough-minded
- Keep talking about the issue of "Fitting"
When to Collaborate?
- Build the conditions where collaboration is possible
- Try to collaborate on important issues, like
* When both parties are vital for the organization
* When learning is involved
* Merge insights from diverse perspectives
* When commitment is needed
* When the concern is on maintaining relationships
Behavioral skills for collaborativeness:
* Right Tone:
- See others' positive concerns
- Use "we" and avoid the blame game
- Highlight the benefits of the solution
- Be polite
* Both parties' concern
- Talk about concerns and not positions
- Don't blame positions
- Share and discuss your concerns
- Help the other party to share their concerns
* Mutual Problem
- Use "and" and avoid "buts"
- An integrative approach to resolve conflict
* Brainstorm
- Be flexible and open
- Use exploratory language
- Agree on the best solution
* Collaborating in Groups
- Derive multiple alternatives
- Work on more information
- Create common goals
- Use humor
- Avoid power and authority
- Aim for consensus
When to Compromise?
- Not on vital issues
- When little is at stake
- Compromise when collaborating and competing are not feasible, such as
* When the people involved have equal powers
* When a temporary solution is sought
* When a fast decision is required under time pressure
* When assertiveness can harm relations
* When the other two Cs have failed
Behavioral skills for COMPROMISING:
* No Competing
- Gather information on the situation
- Suggest a compromise and don't appear weak
- Give concessions if reciprocated.
* Fairness
- Insist on being fair
- Determine the facts
- Maintain a give-and-take relationship
When to Avoid?
- Try not to do that
- To avoid emotional conflicts
- Issues of the blame game
- Control anger
- When discussions deviate to personalities
- Avoid when little is gained
- Unimportant issues
- Symptoms of other issues
- Anyone else can handle
- Too sensitive issues
- You know you cannot win
- Postpone
- Find time to gather information
- Refocus
- Take a break
- Change the setting
Behavioral Skills for AVOIDING
* Deciding what is important
- Clear-cut goals
- Joint goals
- Stick to goals
- Look for more information
* Do not sound weak
- Give reasons
- Set a time if postponing
- Use inviting language
* No Anger please
- Set psychological boundaries
- Give the benefit of the doubt
- Discharge anger politely
- Use fun and humor
When to Accommodate?
- Yield to a better position
- If you are persuaded
- When others have more information
- If you are losing
- When your boss is in the picture
- When you are outvoted by the group
- When you are outmatched
- Sacrifice
- Do a favor
- Let people try
- Boost confidence
- Accommodate to keep away hard feelings
- To repair damage
- To forgive others
Behavioral skills for ACCOMMODATING
* Concede gracefully
- Don't show sore emotions
- Explain the motive behind your action
* Satisfy a complaint
- Accept anger but no abuse
- Explain without sounding defensive
- Apologize if necessary
- Listen
- Reply politely
Ken Thomas is the original writer of conflict management; I just molded all this information in my own words.
Hope you will all like it.
Cheers
Archna
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi Archana,
How are you? Well, I am a new member of this forum. I have gone through your second part of the article 'Conflict Management', and that was really good. Unfortunately, I didn't read your first article on the same topic. I will search for it and read it.
I would like to ask for a suggestion since you must have good knowledge of this issue. I am facing a conflicting situation in my organization. I joined a telecom software company last month after doing my training with the same company in January this year. As a result, I was familiar with the employees and the company environment. I am handling operations and hold the position of Executive Assistant. One of my responsibilities in my job profile is to design and maintain a reporting system in the organization. My boss and I worked on it together and implemented it. However, after two days, I was asked to stop the reporting system because the employees do not like being asked to report. It seems to be an ego problem as they are senior to me, and I am asking them to fill out the reporting documents every week.
I feel stuck now with nothing in my hands, and I am doing all the work. Even my boss is not supporting me, and office politics are at its peak in my organization. Can you please advise me on how to react to this situation? I am looking forward to your suggestion. I hope I have clearly explained my problem to you.
Looking forward to your reply.
Thanks & Regards,
Gunjan
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
How are you? Well, I am a new member of this forum. I have gone through your second part of the article 'Conflict Management', and that was really good. Unfortunately, I didn't read your first article on the same topic. I will search for it and read it.
I would like to ask for a suggestion since you must have good knowledge of this issue. I am facing a conflicting situation in my organization. I joined a telecom software company last month after doing my training with the same company in January this year. As a result, I was familiar with the employees and the company environment. I am handling operations and hold the position of Executive Assistant. One of my responsibilities in my job profile is to design and maintain a reporting system in the organization. My boss and I worked on it together and implemented it. However, after two days, I was asked to stop the reporting system because the employees do not like being asked to report. It seems to be an ego problem as they are senior to me, and I am asking them to fill out the reporting documents every week.
I feel stuck now with nothing in my hands, and I am doing all the work. Even my boss is not supporting me, and office politics are at its peak in my organization. Can you please advise me on how to react to this situation? I am looking forward to your suggestion. I hope I have clearly explained my problem to you.
Looking forward to your reply.
Thanks & Regards,
Gunjan
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Thanks Shyamali, I have put up a problem in the post which you have started for sharing problem. If you have the solution or any ideas to solve my problem, do let me know. Cheers Archna
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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Dear Archna,
Sorry, I did not see your first part, but the topic of Conflict Management always makes me nostalgic because I had done a project on the same and was awarded the highest marks. Since that time, I have always been dealing with various conflicts. It was really nice of you to remind me of my Project Days where I had to slog and wait for quite some time to get real-life situations and put them in my project.
Regards,
SC
From India, Thane
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Sorry, I did not see your first part, but the topic of Conflict Management always makes me nostalgic because I had done a project on the same and was awarded the highest marks. Since that time, I have always been dealing with various conflicts. It was really nice of you to remind me of my Project Days where I had to slog and wait for quite some time to get real-life situations and put them in my project.
Regards,
SC
From India, Thane
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT.ppt