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Hi, can anyone please guide me on how to resolve trivial issues - more or less interpersonal conflicts? My team members are very good at their work, but they constantly face problems with each other in terms of being rude or getting snubbed. How can I resolve that? I am listening to their trivial queries and lending them an ear, but then what? What should I do? Please advise.
From India, Mumbai
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A good way would be showing them a movie or games on behavioral skills and etiquettes. Keep the message subtle yet powerful enough. For example, if you show a smoker a movie with the end caption that "smoking kills," the chances are high that he will shut off his receptors and fail to register the message. The same goes in the case of dangerous driving too.

Surya

From India, Delhi
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Dear Swati,

Your team members need to be trained on Interpersonal Skills and Assertive Skills. Team members have time for fracas and affrays. This shows that measures of performance have not been communicated properly. Let the goals be set for the team as a whole and start a reward system for the team as well.

Hereafter, start behavioral-based interviewing in your recruitment process. Through behavioral evaluation, you can discern the candidate's attitude, which they cannot hide.

Thanks,
Dinesh V Divekar
Freelance Soft Skill & Behavioral Trainer
email: din2704@rediffmail.com

From India, Bangalore
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Hi Swati,

You can conduct team-building exercises with them and see how they behave as a team. Try doing role-plays with them, which would enhance their capabilities. You can also do an individual SWOT analysis with them.

I agree with you that handling equally good players is a difficult task, but you should always look for opportunities where you can strengthen the team's bond.

All the best.

Regards,
Anuradha

From India, Delhi
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Hi Swati,

Trivial issues are just that. I think the best way to handle ego issues is to let them be non-issues. From my experience, I have observed that training, showing movies, or counseling has little or no effect on people's behavior.

These issues shall fizzle out in time as and when they realize that it's a game where no one wins. If these little conflicts do affect their performance, maybe then we can think of some serious steps to correct their behavior that interferes with work.

So just chill.

Regards,
Ashim


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Dear Ashim,

The lack of social or interpersonal skills is an indicator of bullying, which is widely prevalent in schools, colleges, and even workplaces. Bullying stems from superiority beliefs, whether based on gender, religion, region, etc. Good performance is not a shield for undesirable behavior in other areas.

In the past, people used to ignore such behavior; however, modern HR practices involve putting employees through counseling.

Surya

From India, Delhi
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Hi Surya,

I entirely agree with your observations. In fact, I was responding to this specific post where Swati has admitted that the interpersonal conflicts are based on trivia, and she also says that these employees are otherwise good at their work.

I appreciate the merit of counseling at workplaces. However, I am absolutely certain that most of today's organizations are not geared for professional counseling. Today's workforce is confident and shuns any authority over them. They take pride in their competencies and know their value to the organization. They are also aware of the options they have. In such a scenario, any attempt at cursory counseling can actually shut them up, and they won't even give us an opportunity to vent their emotions.

This, in my opinion, can be counterproductive.

Some of the other readers have suggested team-building initiatives. I doubt if any of those employees Swati is referring to are unaware of its advantages. What is possibly happening in this specific situation is that people are trying to be one up and are thus taking a soft approach to establish their credentials through gossiping, etc.

May I request Swati to respond to this, and you can add your comments too.

Thanks

Regards,

Ashim R Parida


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