My supervisor told me that he has noticed that I visit the washroom too often and I need to reduce it. However, being a woman, we need to visit the washroom more frequently (especially during certain days of the month) than men. I admit that on some days I might have visited more often because I was not feeling well, and some colleagues noticed it, but that does not mean I do it every day. Additionally, I need to drink more water during summer and monsoon, so I do visit a couple of times more than others. Being a female, I was embarrassed to provide any clarification to him.
Should I Talk to Females in the HR Department?
I don't want any bad blood with my supervisor, and I don't want to take it negatively. Already, there are some team members who are against me and filling his ears against me, and this can be a new issue. Should I simply ignore this and not drink water so that I can control my visits, even though it can have a bad effect on my health? My job requires being at the desk, but I work for nine and a half hours, so is it wrong to visit the washroom 5 to 6 times a day?
Regards.
From India, Ahmedabad
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7Should I Talk to Females in the HR Department?
I don't want any bad blood with my supervisor, and I don't want to take it negatively. Already, there are some team members who are against me and filling his ears against me, and this can be a new issue. Should I simply ignore this and not drink water so that I can control my visits, even though it can have a bad effect on my health? My job requires being at the desk, but I work for nine and a half hours, so is it wrong to visit the washroom 5 to 6 times a day?
Regards.
From India, Ahmedabad
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My question is, what if he takes it negatively if I go to HR, and what if he goes against me? At the end of the day, I have to work under him. (Here I haven't mentioned that in caps to shout or be rude, but I want to put more emphasis on the apprehension I have). Should I go to HR or not?
From India, Ahmedabad
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From India, Ahmedabad
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Congratulations to you for having the courage to open such a personal and natural matter in the forum. It is quite surprising how anyone, I mean anyone, can ask such a thing directly. In fact, I am embarrassed that a male boss would ask such a thing.
Approaching the Situation
If you have a female boss, approach her either in a group of girls or individually. Explain the situation you are facing because of your boss and the mental pressure it has caused. As a female, she may understand the problem. Warn him not to repeat it in the future.
If you do not have a female boss, you can boldly discuss the same with HR. If you are comfortable with the above two options, go directly to his cabin, sit in front of him, and tell him he is not supposed to ask such things. Explain that every family has women in the form of mother, sister, wife, and other respective roles. Once you address this issue, he will likely not repeat it.
Addressing Personal Matters
As a responsible boss, there are better ways to discuss such matters. However, if others are not supporting you, take the initiative to solve the issue. Whether one drinks more or less water in any weather is a personal matter. Natural calls cannot be avoided, and holding them in can lead to health issues. If natural calls are attended to at proper intervals, there should be no reason for such questions to be asked of any female staff. Even if someone takes longer in the washroom on certain days, it should not be a cause for concern.
If a boss suspects that someone spends more time in the washroom due to slow habits, it is an opportunity to self-reflect and improve those habits, not for negative intentions. Stay composed and confident in justifying your point.
Regards.
From India, Lucknow
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Approaching the Situation
If you have a female boss, approach her either in a group of girls or individually. Explain the situation you are facing because of your boss and the mental pressure it has caused. As a female, she may understand the problem. Warn him not to repeat it in the future.
If you do not have a female boss, you can boldly discuss the same with HR. If you are comfortable with the above two options, go directly to his cabin, sit in front of him, and tell him he is not supposed to ask such things. Explain that every family has women in the form of mother, sister, wife, and other respective roles. Once you address this issue, he will likely not repeat it.
Addressing Personal Matters
As a responsible boss, there are better ways to discuss such matters. However, if others are not supporting you, take the initiative to solve the issue. Whether one drinks more or less water in any weather is a personal matter. Natural calls cannot be avoided, and holding them in can lead to health issues. If natural calls are attended to at proper intervals, there should be no reason for such questions to be asked of any female staff. Even if someone takes longer in the washroom on certain days, it should not be a cause for concern.
If a boss suspects that someone spends more time in the washroom due to slow habits, it is an opportunity to self-reflect and improve those habits, not for negative intentions. Stay composed and confident in justifying your point.
Regards.
From India, Lucknow
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I have faced a similar situation like yours. The thing is that I drink a lot of water, so I also have to go to the washroom more than others. What I do is keep my other breaks short and maintain a mental log of the time. At the end of the day, it is all about meeting your deadlines and KRAs. If your boss has pointed it out, talk to him and explain the situation. Tell him that you can keep a time log so that he knows how much time you are taking for your breaks. Your break time is 'YOURS', so it all depends on you how you take it. Until you are doing your work properly, meeting your deadlines and KRAs, the frequency of your visits to the washroom should not be an issue.
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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What a bizarre situation! By the way, are we adults or school children? I can understand if a teacher tells these things to some primary student. Is your supervisor interested in sticking to the chair or the output of the work? Have the KRAs of your work been well-defined? Does your work relate to taking calls from customers? Does your absence from your desk hamper someone else's work too (like bank employees)?
Anyway, never stop going to the washroom. This is because it may lead to kidney stones or other problems. Otherwise, suggestions given by Atul Sharma are also good.
Ok...
Regards,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Anyway, never stop going to the washroom. This is because it may lead to kidney stones or other problems. Otherwise, suggestions given by Atul Sharma are also good.
Ok...
Regards,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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There are no restrictions as such that only so many times you need to visit the washroom. Just be plain and straight that you were sick and your health conditions were not supporting. Hope all men do understand and also your senior too will have women in his family. Don't worry, first take care of your health. In case you feel you will be safe if you explain to him, just give it in writing, due to health reasons you had to do that, and nothing in person to avoid the work.
Cheer up, don't worry. It's all in your hands how you solve the matter as a mature person.
Regards,
Jayalakshmi.M
From India, Bangalore
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Cheer up, don't worry. It's all in your hands how you solve the matter as a mature person.
Regards,
Jayalakshmi.M
From India, Bangalore
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I do not have words to explain my feelings. This is completely unethical behavior from your boss.
Understanding the Situation
Before anything, I'd like to understand the following:
1. Is he concerned about your productivity?
2. Are you meeting your deadlines regularly?
3. Did he share any feedback with you regarding your work, timelines, or targets assigned?
4. Do you share a good professional relationship with him?
5. Is he trying to convey any other message in this context?
6. Is he a smoker? Does he take breaks for other reasons like coffee, chatting, or anything else?
However, I am sure, either way, irrespective of your answer being yes or no, he is not supposed to talk to you like this.
Unlike other employees (especially college freshers and people with a rural background), you have tried analyzing the situation, and I am sure you will be able to fix the issue.
Suggested Actions
I'd suggest talking to your line HR and trying to explain the situation. They can always convey the message to your senior in a positive way that should not affect your personal and professional relationship with your line manager.
All the best!
Regards,
From India, Hyderabad
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Understanding the Situation
Before anything, I'd like to understand the following:
1. Is he concerned about your productivity?
2. Are you meeting your deadlines regularly?
3. Did he share any feedback with you regarding your work, timelines, or targets assigned?
4. Do you share a good professional relationship with him?
5. Is he trying to convey any other message in this context?
6. Is he a smoker? Does he take breaks for other reasons like coffee, chatting, or anything else?
However, I am sure, either way, irrespective of your answer being yes or no, he is not supposed to talk to you like this.
Unlike other employees (especially college freshers and people with a rural background), you have tried analyzing the situation, and I am sure you will be able to fix the issue.
Suggested Actions
I'd suggest talking to your line HR and trying to explain the situation. They can always convey the message to your senior in a positive way that should not affect your personal and professional relationship with your line manager.
All the best!
Regards,
From India, Hyderabad
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I feel your boss is not happy with some of your actions and is unable to justify or explain those points. Now, immaturely, he is pointing to your personal time to blame you. Sometimes bosses are bosses coincidentally, though they don't deserve it; by luck, they are the boss. So, they don't have experience in how to communicate their displeasure to their subordinate on a particular point. Bosses like yours are showing their displeasure using such silly points (since he is able to catch you on this point only).
I think you should clearly ask your boss, "Hey, I know you have some displeasure in mind. Can we talk about the actual matter instead of beating around the bush (usage of the washroom)?" He might not be happy with points such as overcommunication with colleagues, office timings, or some other point on which he is unable to make any observation or comment. I think you should dig into this matter to the end with the boss.
Thanks
From India, Mumbai
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I think you should clearly ask your boss, "Hey, I know you have some displeasure in mind. Can we talk about the actual matter instead of beating around the bush (usage of the washroom)?" He might not be happy with points such as overcommunication with colleagues, office timings, or some other point on which he is unable to make any observation or comment. I think you should dig into this matter to the end with the boss.
Thanks
From India, Mumbai
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Most companies restrict the use of cell phones inside the work premises. In such circumstances, employees tend to use their cell phones in washrooms. They keep their cell phones on vibration mode and step into washrooms when they receive alerts. I have observed such instances. Our HR has addressed such cases, of course, not with female employees. Please check if this is not the reason. If not, feel free to inform him that this is your normal routine that you cannot avoid. As a friendly suggestion, please consider consulting a doctor as well, which is not harmful.
Regards,
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
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Regards,
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
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If this is a genuine problem, then you should communicate in a good way. However, if the person who needs to be communicated with does not understand, you just have to ignore it. You need to do your best at work, and sometimes, attending to your personal needs, such as the ones you mentioned, increases productivity rather than reducing it. Make sure to explain this to him.
Regards
From India, Hyderabad
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Regards
From India, Hyderabad
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I totally agree with Vikas. There are larger issues at play here. This is not about washroom usage. It is about feedback, which your boss doesn't have the guts to give you directly, and should be taken seriously by mutual discussion without wasting further time.
From India, Khopoli
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From India, Khopoli
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Dear sister I think that it is better for you to tell your supervisor directly with your problem , without caring about others
From Saudi Arabia, Jeddah
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From Saudi Arabia, Jeddah
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It's so funny; this reminds me of my school days. Teachers used to impose restrictions on going to the washroom because we used to smoke cigarettes and chew tobacco there.
In a professional environment, this kind of imposition totally exhibits the mentality of the senior. My view is to talk with him to understand the motive behind this and plan further action accordingly.
Experts have already posted their views and comments; thanks to all.
Regards.
From India, Bhubaneswar
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In a professional environment, this kind of imposition totally exhibits the mentality of the senior. My view is to talk with him to understand the motive behind this and plan further action accordingly.
Experts have already posted their views and comments; thanks to all.
Regards.
From India, Bhubaneswar
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You are a female employee, and he is a male boss. He does not have the right to discuss such sensitive issues with you. He can approach a female HR, and she can discuss it with you. He only has the right to complain about your absence from your desk; further details should be discussed by a female HR. Let him communicate his expectations with the female HR, and you can discuss with her to come to an acceptable solution.
Support from a Good Boss
A good boss should support their juniors with their health issues, irrespective of whether they are male or female. It's all about not allowing people to cross their line.
From India, Mumbai
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Support from a Good Boss
A good boss should support their juniors with their health issues, irrespective of whether they are male or female. It's all about not allowing people to cross their line.
From India, Mumbai
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While I understand your predicament at this juncture, I would like to ask if your job responsibilities are related to the front desk or are customer-facing. In such a case, the frequency of your visits to the washroom may not be such a big issue, but the duration you spend in the washroom may be getting highlighted. Being away from your desk becomes more evident, especially when you are handling these responsibilities.
Nevertheless, a male boss speaking to you about this is certainly not palatable. Politely, just tell him that you need to visit for XYZ reasons and leave it at that. Certainly, you should speak to someone in HR and inform them about this incident. Continue doing your work well!
ALL THE BEST
From India, Pune
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Nevertheless, a male boss speaking to you about this is certainly not palatable. Politely, just tell him that you need to visit for XYZ reasons and leave it at that. Certainly, you should speak to someone in HR and inform them about this incident. Continue doing your work well!
ALL THE BEST
From India, Pune
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Irrespective of gender, nature calls, or any issue can be discussed in front of an audience. Kindly approach a senior female manager or the HR in charge. Do not approach the reporting manager right now. Discuss all the fact-based things with HR and seek advice, as I think they might arrange a round table discussion between both of you one-on-one. If you are not happy, kindly send an email to the HR head regarding any derogatory comments on a person, marking cc to HR if needed. If they are still hesitating, please email me, and I will assist you further.
Regards,
Kailash
From India, Bangalore
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Regards,
Kailash
From India, Bangalore
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Its really absurd...asking such thing to a female employee... He might be mentally disturbed. I would say be brave and communicate to your HR politely about the issue..and let HR handle him
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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If going to the toilet often is only an occasional matter and not a perennial one, I suggest you discuss the same with your boss. However, if it is a constant matter and the cause is medical, you may want to consult your doctor and get a medical certificate to that effect. Your boss will then understand. Whatever the situation, ensure that your work is not hindered.
Regards,
S. Ponusamy
From Malaysia, Ipoh
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Regards,
S. Ponusamy
From Malaysia, Ipoh
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