How to deal with Lady HR Boss perfectly ? Can anyone help and give some tips ?
From India, New Delhi
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16From India, New Delhi
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If we assume you have been reporting to leaders at work, you must have already identified the leadership models and how to respond to them.
How is this situation different from what you have seen so far? If you are looking for a specific input in dealing with a reporting manager, please do share the incident that required you to brainstorm.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
From India, Mumbai
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How is this situation different from what you have seen so far? If you are looking for a specific input in dealing with a reporting manager, please do share the incident that required you to brainstorm.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
From India, Mumbai
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This Lady HR Boss is well qualified from technical as well as top B-schools. Brilliant in academics. When it comes to dealing with critical situations, especially with employees, the HR person becomes 'bali ka bakra' and she enjoys it a lot at that time. However, she recommends promotions, increments, etc., as per norms and makes the HR person happy, who is not from top B-schools but from a reputed institute with specialization in HR and having baseline experiences in dealing with employees, IR issues, Unions, grievances, etc.
One extreme moment was when an HR person submitted his resignation due to frustration, but she didn't accept it and asked for a long association with the organization. It is, of course, a very good and renowned organization with more than 2000 employees. The HR person has been working with this Lady Boss for the last 7 years. Still waiting for a solution as to why he becomes 'bali ka bakra' every time. Is it her tactic to stay relevant in the job? Or is there anything else?
From India, New Delhi
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One extreme moment was when an HR person submitted his resignation due to frustration, but she didn't accept it and asked for a long association with the organization. It is, of course, a very good and renowned organization with more than 2000 employees. The HR person has been working with this Lady Boss for the last 7 years. Still waiting for a solution as to why he becomes 'bali ka bakra' every time. Is it her tactic to stay relevant in the job? Or is there anything else?
From India, New Delhi
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Hi ABC8708,
Check out the following - it is an excellent article that may help you understand how to deal with your situation.
Regards,
Harsh
From United Kingdom, Barrow
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Check out the following - it is an excellent article that may help you understand how to deal with your situation.
Regards,
Harsh
From United Kingdom, Barrow
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Fortunately, women have marvellously acquired certain positions in society as well as in many companies. Misfortune arises when we encounter such "MEAN MENTALITY" bosses. It doesn't matter what education she has or which B-School she attended; it's always a matter of capably dealing with juniors.
These kinds of lady bosses will never change, and employees have not seen or heard of any changes. Employees will have to decide exactly how much they are willing to take. Even in your case, if you decide to see where the line of delineation is, the very moment - "poltergeist" in her overpowers the situation, and you should be prepared for the worst-case scenarios.
No, you do not want to take any chances and standstill; the praise and pride of that lady should be controlled as any slight hunch may risk the chances of getting FIRED or getting involved in DIRTY & BAD OFFICE POLITICS, [She would enjoy as such].
On the contrary, the above are unembellished reasons as to why the HR is a "STOOG" here in this case. At an outset to your point, all you need to do is work your wits safely and do not get engaged in any out of the blue business. {If you think you've got another job handy, have it played out of harm's way and prevent yourself from any sham}.
From India, Visakhapatnam
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These kinds of lady bosses will never change, and employees have not seen or heard of any changes. Employees will have to decide exactly how much they are willing to take. Even in your case, if you decide to see where the line of delineation is, the very moment - "poltergeist" in her overpowers the situation, and you should be prepared for the worst-case scenarios.
No, you do not want to take any chances and standstill; the praise and pride of that lady should be controlled as any slight hunch may risk the chances of getting FIRED or getting involved in DIRTY & BAD OFFICE POLITICS, [She would enjoy as such].
On the contrary, the above are unembellished reasons as to why the HR is a "STOOG" here in this case. At an outset to your point, all you need to do is work your wits safely and do not get engaged in any out of the blue business. {If you think you've got another job handy, have it played out of harm's way and prevent yourself from any sham}.
From India, Visakhapatnam
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Thanks, Sharmila. She is the strangest woman/HR person I have ever seen. When we talk about the balance between work and life, we always give priority to family. Is she a victim of this? She is 40+ and still single. It is also true that being happy in the family front makes one's career successful and enjoyable. Sometimes, when I talk about the weekend or planning for a movie or outing on Sunday with the family, I see her very egotistical mind on Monday many times. Now, I stopped telling her about my family.
From India, New Delhi
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From India, New Delhi
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Dear Mr. ABC8708,
First, to answer your question on how to deal with a lady boss: the answer is simple, treat her the same as you would a gentleman boss. We are only hearing one side of the perspective, so passing judgment would be unfair. In a reasonable organization, senior management would recognize tactics of shifting blame to juniors. Even if juniors are perceived as at fault by senior management, it reflects poorly on the senior leadership. Additionally, a lady boss cannot shield herself by blaming juniors for her mistakes. Therefore, the best approach is to focus on doing your work well and you will likely remain unscathed in the long run.
Kind regards,
[Your Name]
From India, Chandigarh
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First, to answer your question on how to deal with a lady boss: the answer is simple, treat her the same as you would a gentleman boss. We are only hearing one side of the perspective, so passing judgment would be unfair. In a reasonable organization, senior management would recognize tactics of shifting blame to juniors. Even if juniors are perceived as at fault by senior management, it reflects poorly on the senior leadership. Additionally, a lady boss cannot shield herself by blaming juniors for her mistakes. Therefore, the best approach is to focus on doing your work well and you will likely remain unscathed in the long run.
Kind regards,
[Your Name]
From India, Chandigarh
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Dear ABC,
People have made some excellent comments. As is my habit, I have read your comments and need to extract some points to clarify the situation. Please correct me if I am wrong.
You work for an organization (not sure in which capacity) that has 2000 workers.
The HR boss is a female who is well-qualified, with an MBA from a reputed institute. She is 40 years old and yet single. You think she has no family life.
It is not clear whether you are the HR person or if it is someone else. From your statement "Bali ka Bakra," it appears that the HR person is male and obliges the female boss whenever she allots him work. He has 7 years of work experience with this boss, and she has promoted him even though he has qualified only from a reputable but not a top institute.
When he wanted to resign from his job in frustration once, she dissuaded him from doing so, and he withdrew the application.
You talk to that "Boss" about your family life, etc., and you have found her to be "egotistical" on Mondays. So, now you have stopped talking to her about these matters. I did not understand what you meant by this statement.
Now, let me make a few general statements. A colleague of mine was an unmarried woman. But, she was a very committed family person. She looked after her aged parents. The thing you say about a single lady will equally apply to a single man. For example, where my father worked, a researcher asked "Mr. K, why do you rush home at 5 pm on the dot? Look at me, I do research till 8 pm and then go home." But after a couple of years, my father noticed that the researcher was dashing home at 5 or even earlier. My father asked him why? He said that he had a fiancee, and she wanted to go out walking, etc. So, you are right; family commitments make us do things which others may not.
Finally, a question, are you the "Bali ka Bakra" in question that needs a solution?
From United Kingdom
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People have made some excellent comments. As is my habit, I have read your comments and need to extract some points to clarify the situation. Please correct me if I am wrong.
You work for an organization (not sure in which capacity) that has 2000 workers.
The HR boss is a female who is well-qualified, with an MBA from a reputed institute. She is 40 years old and yet single. You think she has no family life.
It is not clear whether you are the HR person or if it is someone else. From your statement "Bali ka Bakra," it appears that the HR person is male and obliges the female boss whenever she allots him work. He has 7 years of work experience with this boss, and she has promoted him even though he has qualified only from a reputable but not a top institute.
When he wanted to resign from his job in frustration once, she dissuaded him from doing so, and he withdrew the application.
You talk to that "Boss" about your family life, etc., and you have found her to be "egotistical" on Mondays. So, now you have stopped talking to her about these matters. I did not understand what you meant by this statement.
Now, let me make a few general statements. A colleague of mine was an unmarried woman. But, she was a very committed family person. She looked after her aged parents. The thing you say about a single lady will equally apply to a single man. For example, where my father worked, a researcher asked "Mr. K, why do you rush home at 5 pm on the dot? Look at me, I do research till 8 pm and then go home." But after a couple of years, my father noticed that the researcher was dashing home at 5 or even earlier. My father asked him why? He said that he had a fiancee, and she wanted to go out walking, etc. So, you are right; family commitments make us do things which others may not.
Finally, a question, are you the "Bali ka Bakra" in question that needs a solution?
From United Kingdom
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Hi friends,
I cannot agree with many of your comments. First, ABC8708 says that the Lady Leader in question is from a reputed B-School and has a good academic background. Considering her background and her capability to lead a workforce of >2000 employees, one cannot agree with your argument. Nevertheless, the top management is not blind and deaf enough to keep such a Lady Leader to continue her leadership.
We have to keep in mind that our work is our bread and butter, and in any organization, such incidents may happen, as nobody is without mistakes and cannot become a god.
Regards,
Vijayan
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I cannot agree with many of your comments. First, ABC8708 says that the Lady Leader in question is from a reputed B-School and has a good academic background. Considering her background and her capability to lead a workforce of >2000 employees, one cannot agree with your argument. Nevertheless, the top management is not blind and deaf enough to keep such a Lady Leader to continue her leadership.
We have to keep in mind that our work is our bread and butter, and in any organization, such incidents may happen, as nobody is without mistakes and cannot become a god.
Regards,
Vijayan
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Dear ABC,
I would like to tell you one thing; you are agreeing that she is well-qualified from a reputed institution. As a senior staff member, she may think that it will not be good for her to interfere in day-to-day activities. The 2000 workforce can understand with whose permission the "bali ka bakra" has taken the initiation. Sometimes the senior management intentionally asks the subordinates to perform certain things to observe the results and to analyze the seriousness of the initiation. They won't leave you on the road if you follow their instructions and implement them. Even if you did something wrong while performing your day-to-day activities, the top management has to face the tune of the 2000 workforce.
My sincere advice to you is not to spoil your life with this type of inhibitions. Boss is the boss, and they are always right. The top management always watches the activities and knows the capability of their staff. One must agree that she has the stuff if she is working as the head of the department for more than seven years. It is not good to discriminate against anyone by gender or of any type. Try to adjust with her or submit paper because if you are angry with your boss or your boss gets angry with you, you will have to face the tune.
From India, Hyderabad
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I would like to tell you one thing; you are agreeing that she is well-qualified from a reputed institution. As a senior staff member, she may think that it will not be good for her to interfere in day-to-day activities. The 2000 workforce can understand with whose permission the "bali ka bakra" has taken the initiation. Sometimes the senior management intentionally asks the subordinates to perform certain things to observe the results and to analyze the seriousness of the initiation. They won't leave you on the road if you follow their instructions and implement them. Even if you did something wrong while performing your day-to-day activities, the top management has to face the tune of the 2000 workforce.
My sincere advice to you is not to spoil your life with this type of inhibitions. Boss is the boss, and they are always right. The top management always watches the activities and knows the capability of their staff. One must agree that she has the stuff if she is working as the head of the department for more than seven years. It is not good to discriminate against anyone by gender or of any type. Try to adjust with her or submit paper because if you are angry with your boss or your boss gets angry with you, you will have to face the tune.
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear Vijayan, It would have been useful to know with what comments by whom you do not agree and why.
From United Kingdom
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From United Kingdom
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Dear ABCD,
Boss is Boss, and they are always right. The Boss may be he/she. Never mind. As you grow, you may also adopt such qualities unknowingly. It is very easy to find flaws in others; try to see their good qualities. Try to adopt their good qualities and implement them. You will see a sense of satisfaction in your work.
Thanks/Regards,
AK MATHUR
From India, Delhi
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Boss is Boss, and they are always right. The Boss may be he/she. Never mind. As you grow, you may also adopt such qualities unknowingly. It is very easy to find flaws in others; try to see their good qualities. Try to adopt their good qualities and implement them. You will see a sense of satisfaction in your work.
Thanks/Regards,
AK MATHUR
From India, Delhi
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Dear ABC, I will not agree with your opinion thier should not be any gender bias whether they are male or female "Boss is always Boss". With Regards Hima
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Dear Mr. Nashbramhal,
The word "Egoistical" used to describe an academically accomplished and professionally graduated lady leader cannot be accepted. Every leader may have some problems, but these should not interfere with their profession.
Sorry if I am mistaken.
Thanks,
Vijayan
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The word "Egoistical" used to describe an academically accomplished and professionally graduated lady leader cannot be accepted. Every leader may have some problems, but these should not interfere with their profession.
Sorry if I am mistaken.
Thanks,
Vijayan
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So well explained by Umakanthan.M Please take your Boss as a neuter gender rather than male or female.Gender bifurcations like this show how unfit we are for this developing society.
From India, Madgaon
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From India, Madgaon
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Dear Vijayan,
Thank you for pointing out the comment you disagree with and providing your perspective. However, I would like to clarify that I have not stated anywhere that such behavior is acceptable. In fact, I have requested further explanation on what "egoistical" entails and how it was displayed.
Best regards,
[Your Name]
From United Kingdom
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Thank you for pointing out the comment you disagree with and providing your perspective. However, I would like to clarify that I have not stated anywhere that such behavior is acceptable. In fact, I have requested further explanation on what "egoistical" entails and how it was displayed.
Best regards,
[Your Name]
From United Kingdom
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Dear colleague,
Excellent comments and views by all. Thanks to everyone. First of all, this is not a case of gender bias, as I feel. The work schedule is very tight in our 24x7 manufacturing unit, which is a complete Desi company with a global presence of very reputed products in India. We have excellent working conditions, but when we have to face some industrial relations (IR) issues or critical events, instead of attending, it is forced upon the HR person who has baseline experience in dealing with people, even though it is specifically mentioned in their Key Result Areas (KRA).
There are a total of 21 persons in the HR department (including Time Office), with another 11 female employees, including the Training & Development Manager and the IR Manager (female). Last year's attrition rate was 1.4%, with 6 Mandays of training. Almost everything is quite good within the HR department. It could be an exception if other senior personnel were also asked to attend IR issues or critical events. A solution is needed as to why only this HR person is always chosen for such tasks.
From India, New Delhi
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Excellent comments and views by all. Thanks to everyone. First of all, this is not a case of gender bias, as I feel. The work schedule is very tight in our 24x7 manufacturing unit, which is a complete Desi company with a global presence of very reputed products in India. We have excellent working conditions, but when we have to face some industrial relations (IR) issues or critical events, instead of attending, it is forced upon the HR person who has baseline experience in dealing with people, even though it is specifically mentioned in their Key Result Areas (KRA).
There are a total of 21 persons in the HR department (including Time Office), with another 11 female employees, including the Training & Development Manager and the IR Manager (female). Last year's attrition rate was 1.4%, with 6 Mandays of training. Almost everything is quite good within the HR department. It could be an exception if other senior personnel were also asked to attend IR issues or critical events. A solution is needed as to why only this HR person is always chosen for such tasks.
From India, New Delhi
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Dear ABC8708,
You do not seem to have answered my questions. Could you please combine all your messages and give us a summary list of points like I have done in my post so that we could focus on the key issue you are raising.
Thanking you in advance.
From United Kingdom
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You do not seem to have answered my questions. Could you please combine all your messages and give us a summary list of points like I have done in my post so that we could focus on the key issue you are raising.
Thanking you in advance.
From United Kingdom
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Dear ABC8708,
In all your posts, I don't think you have managed to narrate your actual grievance!
Your initial question was: "How to deal with lady HR boss?"
Firstly it seems gender biased, but you are saying it is not! Then you are saying she is highly qualified, well acknowledged in the firm, handling the responsibilities well, but may have egoestic/stubborn approach, & might have crucified some of her employees to cope up with some HR issues.
As per my understanding; You do not approve this behavior from your boss any way, But your grievance slightly differs, considering her being a lady. You are ready to give some allowances for this fact that she may had to act more strictly, being in a male dominated world.
Then tell me……
In day to day interactions, Would you have reacted differently to your boss, if your boss was a gentleman, with same ego, attitude & background?
In day to day interactions with your employees, as a HR representative, do you behave differently towards lady/gentleman employees?
Please retrospect your quotes in earlier posts & answer these questions. If the answer to both the questions come as "No", then we can proceed ahead!
A person's general nature / their own life issues / their ambitions & their ability to use politics at work CANNOT be changed by the HR. That’s not the function of HR.
You may have known/heard the issues in her life, but please accept that, as HR you cannot solve them.
It’s a different thing, if you are friends & want to help, go ahead, ......but then you wouldn’t have faced the original question.
If her approach is not hampering the department / organization, then you have to accept her as is & have to learn the real reasons behind some of the decisions made. If her approach is really hampering the department, then you can surely report to higher management, but you have to be very sure (with statistics) about that!
In my opinion, best way to deal with such persons is to:
1. Be clear in all communications. Don’t assume anything. Don’t keep anything verbal/ambiguous.
2. Keep the communication both ways. Don’t just listen, also react.
3. Be professional & keep the interactions to minimum as required.
4. Share the same goal for organizational benefit, when working together.
5. If you still cannot take it, work towards moving the boss out of the organization/equation, or moving yourself out of the organization… (just kidding…. :-)
Best Regards,
Amod.
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In all your posts, I don't think you have managed to narrate your actual grievance!
Your initial question was: "How to deal with lady HR boss?"
Firstly it seems gender biased, but you are saying it is not! Then you are saying she is highly qualified, well acknowledged in the firm, handling the responsibilities well, but may have egoestic/stubborn approach, & might have crucified some of her employees to cope up with some HR issues.
As per my understanding; You do not approve this behavior from your boss any way, But your grievance slightly differs, considering her being a lady. You are ready to give some allowances for this fact that she may had to act more strictly, being in a male dominated world.
Then tell me……
In day to day interactions, Would you have reacted differently to your boss, if your boss was a gentleman, with same ego, attitude & background?
In day to day interactions with your employees, as a HR representative, do you behave differently towards lady/gentleman employees?
Please retrospect your quotes in earlier posts & answer these questions. If the answer to both the questions come as "No", then we can proceed ahead!
A person's general nature / their own life issues / their ambitions & their ability to use politics at work CANNOT be changed by the HR. That’s not the function of HR.
You may have known/heard the issues in her life, but please accept that, as HR you cannot solve them.
It’s a different thing, if you are friends & want to help, go ahead, ......but then you wouldn’t have faced the original question.
If her approach is not hampering the department / organization, then you have to accept her as is & have to learn the real reasons behind some of the decisions made. If her approach is really hampering the department, then you can surely report to higher management, but you have to be very sure (with statistics) about that!
In my opinion, best way to deal with such persons is to:
1. Be clear in all communications. Don’t assume anything. Don’t keep anything verbal/ambiguous.
2. Keep the communication both ways. Don’t just listen, also react.
3. Be professional & keep the interactions to minimum as required.
4. Share the same goal for organizational benefit, when working together.
5. If you still cannot take it, work towards moving the boss out of the organization/equation, or moving yourself out of the organization… (just kidding…. :-)
Best Regards,
Amod.
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Dear ABC8708,
From your brief narration of the boss's achievements, behavior, and successful handling of her job for so long, there appears to be a doubt about your parochial attitude or discomfort in working with a lady boss rather than the other way around. Please introspect and observe her dealings with others and their opinions of her.
I have a suggestion - if you are close to this bali-ka-bhakra person, ask him to have a one-on-one talk with her or seek help from one of the seniors to understand, develop rapport, and meet expectations. Please avoid mudslinging in such forums - some colleagues may be reading this and watching you!!!
Regards.
From India, Mumbai
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From your brief narration of the boss's achievements, behavior, and successful handling of her job for so long, there appears to be a doubt about your parochial attitude or discomfort in working with a lady boss rather than the other way around. Please introspect and observe her dealings with others and their opinions of her.
I have a suggestion - if you are close to this bali-ka-bhakra person, ask him to have a one-on-one talk with her or seek help from one of the seniors to understand, develop rapport, and meet expectations. Please avoid mudslinging in such forums - some colleagues may be reading this and watching you!!!
Regards.
From India, Mumbai
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Can anyone tell me please what does this phrase "bali-ka-bhakra" mean? Is it 'scape goat"?
From India, Salem
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From India, Salem
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Yes, it means "Scapegoat". Many bosses pass the buck on to juniors rather than admit that it was their fault, like a lot of politicians who sack the lowest worker when something goes wrong.
From United Kingdom
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From United Kingdom
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Thanks to all for your input. I appreciate the solutions provided and have made note of all points. I plan to implement them practically, step by step, considering your professional backgrounds. I value all the thoughts, advice, views, and opinions shared. Thank you once again.
If any of you have additional insights or would like to share more with me, please feel free to post your views.
From India, New Delhi
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If any of you have additional insights or would like to share more with me, please feel free to post your views.
From India, New Delhi
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Dear ABC,
Tell her directly, please don't make yourself or someone else the "bali ka bakra." Be frank. If you are not at fault, then dare to tell her directly. Regarding family matters, it is up to you to share with her or not. Also, nobody has the right to make comments about the family life of someone else; neither you nor she has this right. So, respect each other.
From India, Mumbai
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Tell her directly, please don't make yourself or someone else the "bali ka bakra." Be frank. If you are not at fault, then dare to tell her directly. Regarding family matters, it is up to you to share with her or not. Also, nobody has the right to make comments about the family life of someone else; neither you nor she has this right. So, respect each other.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Sir,
I have gone through many of the comments, but I hold a different opinion on the same topic since it seems to be a very sensitive issue we are discussing. Gentlemen, when you were born, your mother and grandmother may have been the ones who cared for you. In your journey towards success, please try to acknowledge their contributions and the ways in which they have supported you. During your school days, you may recall the influence of your female school teachers and principals who have also played a role in shaping you to reach this level. Similarly, do not forget the impact of your aunt, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, and other women who have contributed to where you stand today. Additionally, recognize the role your wife has played in your life. If she is now your boss, how you choose to handle your relationship with her will teach you the appropriate way to deal with her. I believe that approaching her with respect rather than attitude will help resolve any issues you may face. I hope you find this perspective valuable and that it sheds light on your path to achieving all your goals and objectives.
Regards,
S.P. Bhardwaj
Cell no. 9871260076
From India, Delhi
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I have gone through many of the comments, but I hold a different opinion on the same topic since it seems to be a very sensitive issue we are discussing. Gentlemen, when you were born, your mother and grandmother may have been the ones who cared for you. In your journey towards success, please try to acknowledge their contributions and the ways in which they have supported you. During your school days, you may recall the influence of your female school teachers and principals who have also played a role in shaping you to reach this level. Similarly, do not forget the impact of your aunt, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, and other women who have contributed to where you stand today. Additionally, recognize the role your wife has played in your life. If she is now your boss, how you choose to handle your relationship with her will teach you the appropriate way to deal with her. I believe that approaching her with respect rather than attitude will help resolve any issues you may face. I hope you find this perspective valuable and that it sheds light on your path to achieving all your goals and objectives.
Regards,
S.P. Bhardwaj
Cell no. 9871260076
From India, Delhi
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Dear Sir,
We are a broker firm, and we have a direct Provider of BG/SBLC specifically for lease. The provider is tested and trusted. We have been dealing with the company for the past 12 years. Interested Agent/Lessee should contact us for directives.
Regards,
Fredrick Delay
From Nigeria, Lagos
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We are a broker firm, and we have a direct Provider of BG/SBLC specifically for lease. The provider is tested and trusted. We have been dealing with the company for the past 12 years. Interested Agent/Lessee should contact us for directives.
Regards,
Fredrick Delay
From Nigeria, Lagos
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