Workplace Conflict in Bombay Office: How Should I Handle This Sensitive Situation?

Dear Seniors,

Please hear the issue:

We have one of our offices in Bombay, where we have one lady admin staff and seven male engineers. One of the senior engineers is now in a clash with this female staff over trivial matters and has said many abusive things to her. In turn, she has responded in a similar manner. She even cried because of this. The issue has become known to some engineers who work under this senior engineer, escalating the seriousness of the situation. The senior engineer even alleges that this lady lacks good character (as a lady) and is negatively influencing the other males there. He claims he cannot tolerate this, feeling a loss of power since the lady joined, as he was in charge before her.

Now, I am unsure of the actions I should take as:

- Taking action against the senior engineer could have a significant impact on the business, as he is involved in important projects.

- The lady is new and has been accused of making damaging statements (the truth of which is uncertain).

I attempted to resolve this by suggesting to both parties that we should overlook everything and consider it a misunderstanding, but the conflict persists. I am uncertain whether I should involve other colleagues to inquire about the issue, as I do not want it to spread from my side. Additionally, I am unsure if it is appropriate to ask male staff about the behavior of a lady.

Please provide me with urgent advice as I aim to resolve this quickly.

Also, if any of you seniors could share your contact number, I would like to discuss the matter with you.

Regards,

jm

Hi,

Be very cautious in handling this matter. You ought to know that there is a decision of the Supreme Court on sexual harassment, and now the same has been incorporated in the rules of every organization. In case the lady complains of any sexual harassment, the management will have to formally proceed by holding an inquiry, which may become very embarrassing for everyone.

Since you have already spoken to both individually and the same has not been helpful, the best course would be to go to the root cause and investigate the issue. Are there complaints against the lady by other engineers as well? If not, the statement of the senior engineer has to be accepted with a pinch of salt. If there are complaints from others as well, then the lady cannot be allowed to continue in such a responsible position.

If it is possible for you to have a mechanism by which direct communication between the senior engineer and the lady is avoided, at least for a few days. Let someone else from amongst the engineers do the talking for some days. After some time has passed, maybe things would cool down.

If not, tell both the persons that a formal inquiry will be made and whoever is found responsible for spoiling the office discipline will be held liable.

As far as possible, try and settle the issue through discussion.

Cyril

In my opinion, get an HR consultant from your HO to Mumbai for a month or less depending on the situation. Let him have a word with both the parties and other staff and give his opinion to you.

Looks to me like a case of jealousy due to the loss of power by the senior engineer. However, that does not justify him badmouthing his colleague and assassinating his colleague's character, especially a lady.

I suggest you be firm on this issue. Sit the engineer down and explain the repercussions that could arise if he continues to slander the lady's character.

Regarding the lady, she may have a strong personality that does not sit well (I apologize for saying this) in a male-dominated environment. Perhaps since her arrival, she has been able to effectively manage the other engineers, which might be bothering the senior engineer. Of course, this is all speculative.

You need to have a serious discussion with the senior engineer first to understand the root cause of his behavior. Following that, it would be beneficial to gather feedback from other team members regarding both the lady and the senior engineer. This information will assist you in making a well-informed decision.

We are in the 21st century, and sexual discrimination and harassment are unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

Dear JM,

For your case, the following points emerge:

a) Your staff have not been trained in interpersonal skills and assertion skills.

b) Workplace behavior - how should it be? Has it been communicated to all employees? The use of abusive language is forbidden by anyone - seniors or juniors, males or females - it does not matter who.

c) The behavior of the employees is not goal-oriented. Have you prepared KRAs for the senior engineer? If these were in place, he should have understood that he cannot achieve anything on his own and needs support from his staff as well.

d) When the lady Admin Officer was selected, was the senior engineer involved in her selection? Was he informed that this recruitment was to relieve him of smaller tasks so that he can handle assignments of higher order or those suitable to his stature?

e) You mention that the lady is also commanding type. If that is the case, what steps did you take to check her attitude during her recruitment? This incident calls for the introduction of "Behavioral Interviewing" in your company.

f) Is there an ideal mix of persons of all castes, religions, and languages in your company, or is it lopsided with domination by a particular group? Please note that when individuals from specific groups work together, they may end up fighting too much.

Ok...

Dinesh V Divekar

Soft Skill & Behavioral Trainer

Thank you for all of your valuable comments.

The senior engineer is now saying that he can't work with this lady because he claims she keeps telling others that he tried to misbehave with her.

I am afraid to talk to other engineers because I don't think it's fair to ask them if the lady has a "bad" character. There are chances for her to be innocent.

Jm

Dear JM,

As our friends suggested, Workplace Behavior Training is very necessary for your staff. I also suggest that if you take Sachin's advice, it will work and provide temporary relief. For a permanent solution, you have to provide proper training and implement strict actions against those who violate workplace discipline.

Regards,
Sree

Dear JM,

This appears to be an ego or personality clash between the Senior Engineer and the lady administrator. The lady must be of independent nature and in the process of making decisions; she must have ignored the Senior Engineer, who was looking after this function before. Hence the problem.

The situation is delicate. Both need your firm counseling. The Senior Engineer must not spread slurs and revolt against the lady. This could land the company, as well as the gentleman, in some serious legal troubles. Having expressed his dislike, he must behave now.

The lady also needs to lie low. A change in either of the players at this stage will be counterproductive for the company. The Senior Engineer will have proved his nuisance value and become a bugbear to any new office administrator. So try to buy time and keep a close watch over the situation by speaking to both of them daily.

Regards,
Mohan

Apart from what all seniors have mentioned, you need to also make sure that both of them - the Admin Officer and the Senior Engineer are clear about their roles and responsibilities in the office. If required, let senior management (to whom the Senior Engineer reports) participate in defining the roles and responsibilities of the Senior Engineer. Having clarity in the role of each one will help prevent/minimize such incidents in the future.

Ajit

Hi JM,

If I understood this case correctly, the Senior Engineer and the lady administrator seem to be very rigid in their stance and not willing to come to any solution. In such a situation, I would call both of them and sit them down together, asking them to provide explanations in front of the senior management panel and let them make the decision. Another possible approach is issuing a show-cause notice to both of them and deciding accordingly. I believe both of them will reconsider before making allegations or behaving inappropriately towards each other if they understand they have to respond to a show-cause notice. Additionally, I would consider transferring the lady administrator to another location if she is willing to relocate, as it appears that the Senior Engineer holds key responsibilities for projects.

Thanks & Regards,
Mehul Mehta

Hi,

Please be careful while handling this case. I have some suggestions as I have faced the same type of situation before and had a tough time.

If what you mentioned is true, then try to get that lady to keep quiet at any cost. Just discuss with her and convince her that you are conducting an internal inspection. Ask her to provide her statement regarding the situation where the senior engineer and she exchanged some abusive words. Please instruct her to write down everything clearly and describe the whole scenario in 150 words. Ask her to write an essay.

Ask the same from the engineer, but in a different manner. In this situation, you should show that you are neutral. However, you should internally support the engineer as he is driving the business. Without business, there will be no office, and without an office, what will be the requirement of that lady.

Always prioritize the people who are tied to the revenue generation of the company or who are resources that generate or help to generate revenue. The admin cannot generate revenue, but the service engineer can. So, be cautious. Meanwhile, try to convince the lady to keep quiet. Every time she asks for the final decision, request a statement from her. Initially, ask for a detailed statement, then a specific statement, and then the next. Always convey to her that you are trying to assist her and resolve the issue permanently.

After some time, the situation will come under control, or the lady will leave. However, do not lose your senior engineer for the lady. It will be a loss for the company. You can replace someone in admin, but certainly not someone like the senior engineer who has been working for a long time. This is a common situation that occurs in service sectors, especially in small-scale businesses.

I hope you understand my point.

Regards,

Dev

Mr. Dev,

Are you saying here that just because the senior engineer brings in business, he should be excused from this sick behavior? The character assassination that he has been indulging in is acceptable to you.

Sorry to say, I would rather fire the senior engineer and lose business than have an image of my company as a company that tolerates sexual harassment.

Wake up, Mr. Dev. It's the 21st century, and women are no longer doormats where you can just walk all over them, and they will not say anything.

All very good advice. Let me just add my bit. First of all, are you aware of the 'facts' of the case? Or have you based your opinion just on hearsay and allegations? Either way, you must, first and foremost, ascertain the facts as best you can. Make discreet inquiries with colleagues of both parties, especially those things which can be independently verified. This will not be perfect, but you may be surprised at the results, and it will help you decide on a course of action. Game-playing almost always boomerangs in such situations, so my advice would be to be discreet, quick, and direct. What Cyril has suggested in the very first post makes sense. Improper handling could lead to a case of sexual harassment, further complicating matters. While finding facts of the case, involve a woman colleague (neutral and respected).

The next step could be confronting them with the emerging facts. There can never be any compromise with discipline. I know it is a cliché, but it is tested and pays off in the long run. Whether the engineer brings business or not, if he is in the wrong, then he has to be dealt with. Revenue generation can never be the decisive factor in matters of discipline. That is what 'professionalism' in HRM is all about.

To cut a long story short:
1) Do discreet and quick fact-finding.
2) Seek the help of a woman colleague (or a neutral respected person).
3) Buy some time by informing the engineer that this situation may escalate.
4) Take any of the possible actions (formal inquiry, show cause, transfer) based on the emerging facts.
5) Don't take 'sides' and avoid appearing biased. Your impartiality is crucial.

This is just my opinion.

Dear Sri JM,

In your query, you mention that the senior engineer is in conflict with the junior lady engineer. The former may be having difficulty dealing with someone of the opposite gender. Both parties should understand their roles in the office or work environment. Before addressing this issue, it is essential to clarify their individual goals. When independent goals align, they can work towards a common team goal. Engage in discussions with them as a team and as individuals. I have conducted similar experiments in the past, which helped rectify certain situations. Team members need a common platform to perform effectively and to voice their opinions. This approach embodies participative management.

Thank you.

Hi,

I believe from reading the other posts, you might have understood that if the lady complains against the engineer, you need to officially review this, and it is going to become more publicized. Warn the engineer about the same thing, but it's up to you how well you are going to tell him this and make sure that the engineer doesn't get angry with you or the lady. Do the same thing with the lady, saying that it would spoil her image and future if the issue becomes public, and try to calm them for some time.

Slowly create a work environment where there is a need for both of them to coordinate with each other. As they become more coordinated, I think the gaps will be reduced, and everything will be set.

Hi JM,

I have gone through the entire thread of discussion and somehow I feel that the issue is not that the "admin" person is a "lady". It has nothing to do with "gender". If a male was given the responsibility to handle the senior guy, the situation would have been the same. But nevertheless, the situation becomes even more complex if there is a "lady" in question.

I feel it is more important to counsel the lady on an urgent basis. Tell her that she is new in this office and she has to prove her worth before she dictates her terms. The senior people will never take directives from her unless she can prove that she is trying to coordinate and manage the show in an efficient manner and not trying to boss the situation.

As for the senior guy, he has to be explained that just because he is senior, he cannot take things for granted. I agree with the other comments on this post that he should be warned that in case the lady drags him to court, he is going to have a tough time.

I have faced this situation in my organization where I had to implement company policies with seniors and junior guys. I had a tough time doing that. I first identified what the problems the senior guys are facing and why they are reluctant to follow simple things like wearing ID cards. I tried and solved a few of their workplace issues, and now they have accepted me in the system. You can narrate the same to the lady and ask her to rethink on this matter.

This is my personal opinion, and I do not intend to challenge any of the views or comments made on this post.

I hope this makes sense to you.

Thanks and Regards,

Indrani Chakraborty

If you wish to speak to me, please drop me an email at indrani.chakrabortty@gmail.com

You are right in saying that the situation will be the same whether it involves a female or male employee. However, the situation became more serious the moment the engineer started abusing her about her character and complained that she is also spoiling the environment. Don't you think the mistake lies with both of them? As a responsible person and a senior figure, do you believe the engineer behaved in the right way?

Thanks,
Pradeep

Hi Pradeep,

Thank you for your comments. I am trying to find a way out of the situation and not judge who was right or wrong. Whatever I know about this situation is from Mr. JM, and based on his comments, I cannot decide who is right or wrong. The opinion I gave was just to show a way out to JM from this trouble. I hope you understand.

If I assume that JM is right and the senior guy has actually tried to defame this lady in public, then it is definitely not acceptable. But you must agree with me that we are making a comment on this situation only through the information gathered from this forum, and hence we can give a suggestion and not a judgment. I hope I have cleared my point.

Thanks and Regards,
Indrani Chakraborty

I believe I already gave the solution. I don't know whether you agree with it or not, but please try it out. Speak to both of them separately. Try to calm things down initially and create an environment where there is a definite need for both of them to work together. I hope this approach works as the communication gaps and ego barriers between them break down.

Hey, I didn't take it otherwise, and you can always take this (our communication) as one of the examples of ego blocks or communication gaps.

Richa,

I am not saying that the company should tolerate sexual harassment, nor am I suggesting to fire the lady admin. Given the sensitivity of the recent situation, it just needs some time to resolve.

On another note, the engineer is a significant revenue generator for the company, and dismissing the lady admin would not be just. However, firing the engineer would result in a loss of business, affecting revenue. Letting go of a long-standing employee is not advisable.

To better understand the situation, many factors need consideration. HR should act as a mediator. Conflict is inevitable, but HR must identify the root cause and delve deep into the situation to find a resolution.

In all honesty, if both employees are equally responsible for the issue, Richa, whom would you choose to terminate and why? Would it be the employee who has dedicated six years to the company and is a revenue generator, or the other employee not directly involved in revenue generation? Both employees should be viewed equally, regardless of gender, and seen as part of the human resources perspective.

Regards,

Dev

Hi,

I think until everyone in the company knows what's happening between the engineer and the lady, you should not be afraid to talk to anyone regarding this issue. Try talking to other engineers in a friendly and tactful manner so they can provide insight into the behavior of both the lady and the senior engineer. Engage with as many people as possible to get a comprehensive view and avoid making a biased decision. Strive to resolve the situation by understanding every angle.

Regards,
Gladys

Dear friend,

I think she is correct. First, make sure that the senior engineer should be aware of the legal consequences if she takes any sort of complaints legally. The other thing is that if the admin is new to this organization, tell her to coordinate with all people. Tell her that personal abuse at the workplace will be harmful not only to her career but also to the organization. Check all the options suggested by friends earlier. You are the person in presence; I think you can take appropriate action.

Have a nice day.

S. Kumar HR Management