How Should I Handle a Senior Employee's Disrespectful Behavior Over an Email Exclusion?

Hi, This is Rohini, working as an HR manager in the organization. I have been with the organization for three months now, and recently, an issue occurred that I believe requires your guidance.

Issue with a Senior Employee

One of the senior employees raised her voice at me and was disrespectful when she found out that I had excluded her from a celebration email. Before sending the email to the leadership team, I had checked everyone's availability. The employee had informed me she was unavailable, so I excluded her, just as I did with other employees who weren't available. However, she reacted strongly, telling me that I couldn't exclude her, and her behavior towards me was quite disrespectful.

Previous Incidents

This isn't the first time she has displayed such behavior. I have heard from other colleagues that she has treated them similarly in the past, but no formal documentation has been made regarding these incidents. Given this, I am unsure about how to proceed and would appreciate your advice.

Next Steps

I have already scheduled a meeting with her to understand her concerns better and to discuss the issue directly. However, I would like to know if there are any additional steps I should take, or if any formal action is needed on my part.

Thank you for your guidance and support on this matter.

Dear Rohini Gangwar,

Showing arrogant superiority and disdaining others, considering them unworthy, is common in almost all companies. Such attitudes develop due to reasons like long service, outstanding academic qualifications, exclusive technical competence, closeness to the top boss, etc. Their brazen behavior creates a devastating effect on the company's culture. People get demotivated, and their demotivation, in turn, results in higher employee attrition. The top bosses are so self-possessed that they ignore the overbearing pride of such people. In some cases, they are aware of the behavior of these individuals but choose to overlook it for unknown reasons.

Solution to Arrogant Behavior

So, what is the solution? The solution is to downplay the bloated sense of self-worth of such individuals and move on. Overthinking their behavior could lead to stress. Just as we occasionally get burns while cooking, do we not ignore them? It is easy to advise ignoring the arrogance of others, but some stress is inevitable during our employment.

Is the Person Punctilious?

Is this person punctilious? I ask this question because punctilious individuals expect punctiliousness in equal measure from others, and when others fail to do so, they become irascible.

You have only been with the company for three months. I could have suggested that you inform the top boss of this superior's obnoxious behavior. However, how receptive he or she will be to accepting this feedback is a point to consider.

Documenting Behavior

Another option is to document her irascible behavior. Whenever this individual becomes angry, record when she became angry, why she became angry, against whom she became angry, etc. A pattern in behavior may emerge, and understanding this pattern is crucial.

Training Program

A further corrective measure is to organize a training program on creating an interpersonal environment in the company. Before the training, provide feedback to the trainer that, although the training is for all, it is primarily aimed at one person in the company. In my previous training assignments, I have received similar feedback.

Observation and Evidence Gathering

Lastly, continue to observe her behavior and identify her weaknesses. Determine whether the organization is incurring losses due to her weaknesses. Gather evidence of the losses and maintain a record of them.

Thank you, and please return to this forum after a few weeks or months to update the members on how you handled this situation.

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

Dear Rohini Gangwar,

While giving a reply, I left out two points. My follow-up comments are as below:

Protocol of Communication

Exclusion of the name in the email was the ground of resentment for the senior employee. This shows the senior employee's bureaucratic mindset. These types of people prefer following the protocol of communication. Since you knew that the senior employee would be unavailable during the celebration event, you assumed that the senior lady need not be informed. However, the senior lady's thinking was the opposite. She wanted all official communication addressed to her. She considered the exclusion of her name in the official circular as ignoring her position or undermining her position. Hence, she became angry.

Lesson to be Learned

How to maintain the protocol of communication and how important it is to people is a lesson to be learned from this incident. The exclusion of her name was based on your assumption. Never assume anything while initiating official communication. Official communication is expected to be formal, and formality demands being in accord with established forms, conventions, and requirements.

David McClelland's Theory of Motivation

I hope you have learned this theory of motivation in your MBA course. David McClelland's theory of motivation, also known as the "Three Needs Theory," states that people are driven by one of three main needs: the need for achievement, the need for affiliation, and the need for power. While the average individual is driven by all three needs, one of the needs is always dominant or super dominant. If we relate this incident to David McClelland's theory, we find that the senior manager is dominated by the "need for power." People with a high need for power exaggerate their position and enjoy controlling others.

Feedback to the Senior Manager

Whatever the motivational drive of the senior manager may be, she deserves to be given feedback. While she could be driven by the power motive, others could be driven by the affiliation motive. People with a strong affiliation need could certainly get upset because of her dominance. Her behavior could be a deterrent to others, and she could be good at getting things done, but she could be demotivating the subordinates as well. Will your company be able to calculate the cost of demotivation?

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

I'm trying to look at it differently. Keeping aside her unruly (if I can call it so) behavior, what's wrong if you include all names and send those emails without any omission? Probably this kind of unwanted incident wouldn't have arisen, I believe. What if the exclusions change their minds and subsequently are willing to join? Isn't it permissible or not? Prevention is better than cure. It's only 3 months now since you joined. Try to gain tolerance. It's not advisable to pick quarrels with your colleagues at such an early period of your career. Let us first try not to give any room for others to find fault with us. It's a better option, isn't it? Don't look for like-minded opinions but try to take all along to the extent possible. Reserve your strong reactions for a later date. It's good that you scheduled a one-on-one meeting with a view to thrash out differences. Better sense will prevail.

Ideally, you should initiate a dialogue with her without getting angry. The reaction must be due to a misunderstanding. When the employee hears from you that it was not a willful action, there are more chances of getting convinced and expressing regret.