Dealing with a Difficult Employee Linked to Owners: How Can HR Manage Without Quitting?

One of my friends is working as an HR Manager in a start-up firm. They hired a male candidate for the senior-most position, with the perspective of creating a strong base as a start-up. After a few weeks, HR observed arrogant and dominating behavior from that employee, and the same was complained about by a few employees on the floor as well.

This continued for a few months. The HR also tried to have a polite conversation with the arrogant employee, but nothing worked. Now, her problem is that she cannot take any strict action because this arrogant person is from the well-known contacts of the owners. She also tried to explain the whole scenario to the owners, but again, nothing worked.

Now, she is worried about the fact that he is spoiling the work culture because of his behavior, and being an HR, the blame is on her that she is unable to maintain and balance the environment. Please suggest what steps she can take to deal with this situation because quitting is not a feasible solution.

Dear Swati ji, I agree that arrogant people can spoil the work culture. They also tend to dominate conversations. I think the first step is to create an atmosphere of discussion, reminding the dominant colleague that the opinions of teammates matter too. Most importantly, consider ways to improve the team's dynamics, develop trust, and mutual respect. Most teams can benefit from team building.

If the dominant person goes off on a tangent, find a way to politely interrupt. Many people with dominant personalities enjoy being challenged at work, so try assigning them challenging projects that will test their skills and abilities. Keep conversations targeted and brief. Speak confidently. Avoid generalizations and support your assertions with evidence. No one is perfect, and many times dominant colleagues don't have bad intentions; they are just too bold and confident. So, I think quitting is not the right decision; rather, gathering up and straightening things your way is required. Never run; being a warrior is fun.

Thank you.

Dear Madam, I beg to differ with the views largely on your predicament. Because the owners are indifferent to the nonsensical behavior of this entrant, you are put in a spot. Certainly, the uncalled-for temperament of this person, by any standards, cannot be left unchecked in the larger interest of the organization, team morale, and culture.

I think you should prepare a confidential note to the owners giving a detailed history of his behavior and how it is detrimental to the organization's well-being. You need to convince and let the owners take responsibility to compel him to change his ways. You will have to let them know that you have the organization's interest uppermost in mind.

If with your sincere approach the owners fail to act in the desired direction, you are free to choose your options.

Regards,
Vinayak Nagarkar HR and Employee Relations Consultant

Dear Swati,

As an HR professional, your friend is expected to do everything to protect the interests of the organization. Let her do it, but beyond a point, there is no need to develop an emotional attachment with the company. Your friend works in a business enterprise. The MD of the company, who is the No. 1 stakeholder, should understand the importance of the work culture. If he/she does not understand, then there is nothing wrong with bidding goodbye to the company.

The MD of the company is expected to keep an ear to the ground. He must know what is happening in the company. He must encourage upward communication in his company. While running a startup, if he is ensconced in his own affairs, then so be it.

Your friend works in a commercial entity. It is neither a rehabilitation center for the arrogant person nor a reformation center. The task of reforming behavior or winning confidence by accepting dominance looks fine in films or TV serials. In a large number of family serials aired on national channels or otherwise, it is typically shown how a newly married daughter-in-law (DIL) puts up with subjugation by the mother-in-law (MIL). After years of submissiveness or even compromise with prestige by the DIL, the MIL starts trusting her.

A few years ago, a Marathi film was released wherein it was depicted that a village lad, though well-educated, falls in love with a foreign girl. After the marriage, she is brought to the village. But the groom's family members unleash their harshness on her as she belonged to "other" culture. Nevertheless, the foreigner transforms herself into a typically "Bhartiya bahu" and puts up with their abrasiveness and wins the hearts and minds of the near and dear ones but after sacrificing for years.

We, the Indians, are taught that the haughtiness of the few is a fait accompli and in the interest of family or organization, someone's sacrifice is most important. However, it must be borne in mind that humility, liberalness, and politeness are two-way streets, and there cannot be a one-way.

Against this backdrop, I recommend your friend concentrate on her career development only. Nothing is as important as that. If your friend feels that career growth can take place in that company, then only she should continue. Otherwise, there is a big world outside.

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

Dear Madam, Your friend is well acquainted with the ground realities, behavioral aberrations of the new senior managerial entrant in the leadership role, and the soft-peddling attitude of the owners. Yet, she should put up a brave fight against the misfit person and exhaust all options first to straighten his behavior in the most persuasive manner.

Instead of taking an escapist stance and giving up without trying, what is needed to be done in the larger interest of the organization, in my view, is against HR's grain and values. HR is the "social conscience" keeper of the organization, and she should not leave any stone unturned to uphold the same in nailing the wrongdoings of a person who, despite being in the leadership role, has not learned the ropes of basic human relations.

Her success will depend on her courage of conviction, persuasive skills, grit, and determination in driving the point that her efforts are for a cause that is for the good of the organization, and there is nothing personal about it.

Quitting the job without giving it a try is an easy option and is meant for weak-minded people who lose the battle in their minds first before even going to the battlefield. Well, it is easier said than done, but the experience will surely enrich her as a professional and help build up strengths even if there is unfortunate failure.

Rest, it is up to her to take the right call.

Regards,

Vinayak Nagarkar

HR and Employee Relations Consultant