Gender Bias in Harassment Policies: How Can My Friend Handle a Bullying Senior?

Concerns About Gender Bias in Harassment Policies

I have heard many questions from different sources, mostly friends, about harassment policies being gender-biased.

I have a friend who is being chased and bullied by his previous superior (not boss), who is now two positions up in the same organization. My friend was rehired (after 3 years) in his previous company. This co-worker has been spreading lies about him being an underperformer, with inadequate skills for the project he has been signed up for. He has been ignoring everything as those weren't coming directly from her to him, but recently she directly started asking him why he is trying to hide from her and mentioned that she heard he is looking for a change, in front of four people working within my friend's team. He has very recently joined this organization and is trying to settle in, and is immensely upset about someone saying all these negative things about him. He doesn't want to confront her directly because of these policies. There are people already aware of what she is doing. What can we do in this situation?

What you have told about your friend is unfortunate. However, we need a little more information. What is the designation of your friend? How many people report to him? We need this information to know whether your friend can take advantage of the ID Act, 1947.

Since when has his senior been making negative comments? For how many weeks or months has this been going on? What is the nature of the industry in which your friend works?

Hereafter, tell your friend to record the negative comments on his mobile phone. However, he should do this surreptitiously. When he succeeds in doing this, tell him to take a backup of the audio file.

Every time, it may not be possible to do the audio recording. Therefore, tell him to maintain records of his interaction with the senior. Tell him to write down when the negative comments were given (date and time), where they were given, in front of whom the negative comments were given, etc.

One of the solutions for your friend is to ask for a personal meeting with the senior. Let him clear the air. Give her a chance to vent her anger. Possibly she may mellow down thereafter.

The second solution is introspection. Let him maintain records of the past instances of the negative comments and find out whether any pattern emerges. If there are flaws or errors in his work, then he ought to eradicate them.

The third solution is to contact the immediate superior and ask for his/her help. By now, possibly your friend might have done this too. This meeting is important to understand which side he/she is tilting towards. Is it on your side or the other side?

The last solution is to approach HR and explain how demotivating it is when a senior passes negative comments in public. Again, it depends on how far HR is ready to intervene. Some HRs may intervene, others may take it nonchalantly.

Advice to your friend: While swallowing insults is not easy, still tell your friend to take these in his/her stride and move on. There are various types of harassment, and one amongst them is this. There are cases of discrimination arising out of caste, creed, religion, ethnicity, language, etc.

General comments: Problems of this kind show a poor interpersonal environment in the company. The senior who passes negative comments has not mastered interpersonal skills or feedback-giving skills. The senior does not understand the importance of motivation either. Juniors might commit errors, but even then, while giving feedback, it is the duty of seniors to ensure that juniors' motivation level does not go down. Emotional outbursts, put-downs have no place in the modern workplace.

The instance highlights a message to HR as well. We do not know whether employee engagement activities of any kind are conducted in the company. However, if the interpersonal environment is poor, then what is the use of conducting workplace games?

We do not know whether the alleged victim had approached HR. If this person did not approach HR, then it goes on to show the mental distance between common employees and HR. The victim of the alleged harassment tells his/her friend about the harassment, and that friend comes to the public forum to ask for a solution speaks volumes.

Suppose if the victim of the alleged harassment had approached HR but HR did not step in, then it goes on to show the ineffectiveness of HR. On one side, HR aspires to be a business partner but does not step in to solve the workplace fracas. What is the use of such HR?

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar