How Should I Handle My Boss's Inappropriate Comment in Front of Colleagues?

I work in the HR department of a company. I report to the HR manager. On 9th July 2018, when it was raining, my boss told everybody to leave. I was in the office and was planning to leave a bit later due to work. Then my boss, in the presence of other employees, said "E BAILYA nigh atta."

Please suggest what should be done further in such a case.

Understanding Workplace Language

We are unable to understand the meaning of the word uttered by your boss. Try to post the details in a language commonly understood by the members, preferably in English.

Addressing Inappropriate Language

In case it is a bad word, then tell him that he should refrain from using such un-parliamentary words, or else you can escalate it to the higher-ups. You can even lodge complaints. If such a word is uttered in the presence of other employees and nobody objected, it means that most are uncultured; hence, it's better to look for a change.

Thanks and regards,
Kamesh333

Handling Inappropriate Language from a Boss

Presuming that the boss had used a bad or contemptuous word, I suggest the following in case he repeats the poor conduct.

Next time he uses such or similar words towards you, just look at him and ask, "Are you addressing me?" Then, tell him to avoid using unparliamentary words in this manner. Is he like this with others as well or only with you?

If he repeats the bad conduct, submit a written complaint mentioning the words used, witnesses, and circumstances. I am sure the boss will stop behaving rudely if you are polite, firm, and address such issues directly and fearlessly.

Dear friend, you have written your post with slight confusion. Who exactly passed disparaging comments against you? Was it the HR Manager or someone else? Are you referring to your HR Manager as "boss"? Anyway, I interpret the remark of your boss in the following way:

a) Your boss could be uncouth in general. Therefore, while telling you to leave the office, he did so in a very unprofessional manner. How is his conduct with others? Did you hear a similar comment while talking to others as well?

b) If the general conduct of the boss is okay with others but he passed an unsavoury remark only against you, then it shows somehow he is frustrated with you. How is your relationship with him? Is it strained?

Whatever the reason may be, the boss must maintain professional conduct at the workplace. In fact, if some other employee behaves unprofessionally or casts a disparaging remark, then seniors should step in. Unfortunately, it is the other way around.

I recommend you send an email to the boss asking for a personal meeting. In the personal meeting, give him feedback. Make sure that there is no one else in the room. Lodge your protest on his remarks but be polite. In case he wavers, tell him that this meeting is only for this remark and nothing else. Do not talk about any other subject. Record the conversation between both of you but do this surreptitiously. Once you reach home, take the backup of this audio file.

For Kamesh: The remarks are in Marathi. The direct translation would be "Hey bull, quit the office." But if translated loosely, it could mean "Hey idiot, leave the office now."

For Mr. Nathrao: Indirectly, you have advised to wait and if he repeats such remarks, then give him feedback. However, if such tendencies are nipped in the bud, the better. If the originator of the posts downplays the comments, then it could embolden the boss further. In case the boss is the MD of the company, then there is a risk of the boss taking the feedback personally. However, sometimes we have to take the bull by the horns.

General comments: As of now, we do not know whether the boss is the HR Manager or someone else. Nevertheless, it was wrong on the part of that person to refer to the originator of this post in an offensive manner. In many companies, systematic training is conducted on workplace etiquette or corporate behavior. Far from it, here we have either HR or someone from leadership passing a contemptuous remark against the junior. While the junior may suppress his/her feelings at that time, they give vent to it when they get the opportunity. Those who witnessed this incident must have been appalled. These incidents may appear small but have the capacity to degrade the culture of the company!

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

You should have reacted instantly by telling him to behave and not to use profane language. You lost that chance, but you can still make him realize your anger through your behavior. Some people are very open and think of others the same way. Believe me, sometimes even abuse is not abuse when it happens between friends. However, as you say he is your boss and you expect professional behavior from him, you should tell him straight away. Just wait for the next encounter. Please approach higher authorities if the problem persists. Lastly, if he still doesn't understand, then make him understand in his language.

For Dinesh Sir

It's Bailya and not Baila. Bailya means pansy or gay.

Handling Inappropriate Comments from a Boss

You have recommended giving an instant reaction to bad words by the boss. Nevertheless, sometimes it leads to a verbal feud. Therefore, the right approach would be to show patience, wait for the next day, and give feedback in private.

When a person reacts instantly, the other side becomes defensive as well. However, if some time is allowed to pass, then the passage of time helps because the other person might have reflected on their comments. The objective of the feedback should be to make the other party realize their wrongdoing and not to prove the other person wrong.

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

Inappropriate Language in the Workplace

The use of inappropriate language, including slang and offensive words, towards someone is unacceptable. It is considered the worst behavior when done in the presence of others, such as seniors, juniors, and colleagues.

Many times, people use phrases, proverbs, critical words, or remarks for certain occasions. For example, your boss might make a remark against the disobedience of his order (like declaring the office closed due to heavy rain). Sometimes, remarks are made to create humor but can be misunderstood depending on the place, person, and timing.

In my opinion, the remark "this bull can do everything tonight" has hurt you because it was said in the presence of other office staff.

Assessing the Situation

Was this behavior a one-time occurrence, or has it happened before? In many instances, when you are engaged in casual conversation, words may be used that are not commonly spoken.

Addressing the Issue

Go and tell your boss that his behavior towards you last evening was inappropriate, and you do not appreciate such treatment. If your boss consistently behaves rudely towards you, causing damage to your reputation, then one could consider filing a defamation case, but it is important to have sufficient witnesses.