Why Do Employees Expect HR to Always Be Soft-Spoken and Kind, Even When Provoked?

The Perception of HR's Role

I do not understand why employees always feel that HR should be soft-spoken and good to them all the time. Employees take things for granted, and HR has no right to address the same and make employees realize their mistakes or any behavioral issues at the workplace. They feel HRs are always aggressive, and how can they talk to us in that manner? On the contrary, they do not understand that they provoke HRs to do so sometimes, and they are the reason for reacting in such a fashion.

The Double Standard in Behavior Expectations

It's so frustrating that employees can be aggressive and act the way they want, and that should be fine. But as soon as HR has some behavioral changes towards any particular employee, it's not right. You have to be soft-spoken and always kind.

Seeking Opinions on HR Reactions

What's the take on it? I mean, do we HR overreact sometimes, or is it the same scenario everywhere?

Dear friend,

It is not just HR, but everybody must be soft-spoken at all times. However, it is not that easy. Occasionally, the HR department becomes a download center where people think they can unload their anger or frustration. HR has to face wrath many times for no fault of their own.

Nevertheless, you may explicitly mention what the issue was in your company.

Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar

HR is a thankless job - isn't it?

No, it is one of the most important functions in any organization. Certainly, HR professionals should be soft-spoken, gifted with great integrity, patience, empathy, and be good communicators. Company management may hire HR as a shield against employees. When joining any company, one should know why the CEO is hiring you as a professional. If you are paid to 'act' as the empathizing face of management and if you are happy with that, do not complain later but perform your 'role'. If you are hired to perform real HR functions in forward-looking companies, you will be granted the required rights and privileges too. You will not always be at the receiving end, and you can work without losing self-respect. Also, never become intellectually lazy.

The Role of HR in Employee Relations

I do not understand why employees always feel that HR should be soft-spoken and good to them. It's the Human Resources Department, so it needs to be polite and courteous.

Employees take things for granted—who authorized them to do so? Aren't there set policies, rules, and regulations to control employee behavior? HR has the right to address these issues. Once there are set rules and regulations, people will not act that way. It is the duty of the HR department to counsel, educate, and guide employees to follow the set guidelines.

Employees feel HR professionals are always aggressive, but how can they talk to us in that manner? It seems that HR may be perceived as aggressive towards employees most of the time. Conversely, they do not understand that they provoke HR sometimes, and they are the reason for the reactions. People do make mistakes, and it's the HR department's duty to help them realize and prepare an action plan to avoid repeating them.

It's ridiculous that employees can be aggressive and act however they want, but as soon as HR shows some behavioral changes towards a particular employee, it's deemed wrong. You cannot bark at dogs that are barking at you; show maturity in your reaction and set an example for them. HR has to be soft-spoken and kind.

What's your take on it? Does HR overreact sometimes, or is it the same scenario everywhere? I have already answered how I react to my organizational culture.

Similarly, what happens in the home setting also plays out in the workplace. The production and other department personnel take on the role of the father, while employees, mainly workmen and line function staff, are like the kids. The HR generalists, on the other hand, play a crucial role as the mother. HR professionals must exhibit flexibility and gentleness while also adhering to the company's rules and regulations.

The role of HR in balancing employee and organizational needs

All of us have to be soft-spoken, courteous, and helpful. The HR department, by the nature of the job, has a special responsibility to address employees' problems. Their approach to employees makes all the difference. Balancing individual employee needs and organizational needs is an art that comes from experience and a particular mindset. However, HR also needs to be strict at times when necessary, such as taking action based on the findings of an inquiry.

The importance of communication in HR

Equally, bear in mind that an HR person needs to be an excellent communicator. How you communicate makes a significant difference. Communication involves listening to the other person and understanding intuitively what is being conveyed. Half of the problems get solved when you listen carefully and sympathetically.

Maintaining professionalism in HR

HR people are human too, but the job requires you to behave in a particular manner. By solving problems and refusing to react aggressively, you contribute to productivity. So, work with a positive and objective mindset.

The Role of HR in Employee Interactions

I agree with the comments of the fellow members that HR should be courteous and polite. In general, this should be the pattern of behavior. You are obliged to be mature enough to assess the situation and behave accordingly. Since you are in HR, you are expected to understand the psyche of the employees. You are not obliged to be polite all the time, but you are obliged to understand when not to be polite. In HR, you cannot unload your own frustration on the employee.

Situations When Employees Approach HR

There are three situations when an employee comes to HR:
a. They have some grievance to share to get a resolution,
b. They have been forwarded to HR by the department for either counseling or for taking some action,
c. Some complaint has been received by HR, and the concerned employee has been summoned by HR.

HR people are intelligent enough to decide when to behave in what manner. The most important lesson I have learned in my career of 35 years in HR is:
a. What not to speak,
b. When not to speak,
c. Where not to speak,
d. How to speak and how not to speak.
This lesson helps in handling the most tedious and complicated situations, everywhere, whether at home or in the office.

Anyone can say that it is easy to say this but difficult to follow. I say it is difficult to follow but not impossible to achieve. HR has to ensure only one thing, that their behavior should not culminate in an ugly situation. You are expected to be patience personified. If you can do that, HR is a place where you will succeed.

Warm Regards,
Bharat Gera
HR Consultant
[Phone Number Removed For Privacy-Reasons]

Dear Anonymous, The HR department is a vital part of any organization, engaging with employees from the day they are interviewed until they retire. It functions as the reception of the organization and acts as an intermediary between employees and management. Employees rely on HR for various matters such as salary, leave, EPF, medical benefits, housing, canteen facilities, children's education, loans, etc. Given the service-oriented nature of the department, it is crucial for HR staff to be humane, soft-spoken, and humble. These qualities should be embodied in daily interactions.

All the best, [Your Name]

I think HR has to act in both ways as per the situation demands. Sometimes they need to show their teeth when it comes to indiscipline or code of conduct violations, and sometimes be soft when they need to act as a sync to control a violent or tense situation from going out of control or potentially leading to serious worker agitation. Therefore, the job is very tactful and important. They are considered to be very understanding of human behavior and humanities, so it is expected that they do not react immediately without thinking of the potential outcomes it may lead to. That's why people sometimes take them for granted, assuming that they will not retaliate, which is not true.

Select your action as the situation demands.

Dear Anonymous,

An HR person has to play the role of both a mother and a father to his/her employees. It depends on the situation whether one has to be polite/calm or show some aggression. Many times, problems get solved when you simply listen to your employee with care and sympathy.

On the other side, an HR professional has to be strict towards the company's rules and regulations to maintain a healthy environment.

Dear colleague,

HR is a Heart Reader/Mind Reader. He/she is a people person, so has to be generally polite, soft, persuasive, and empathetic. However, he/she has to take a tough stand at times but with fairness and equity.

Regards,

Vinayak Nagarkar
HR Consultant

The main purpose of any HR department is to sort out work problems, work alongside management and staff to ensure peace and tranquility within the workplace, in order to achieve maximum productivity. Sorting out human relations issues requires tact, firmness, and knowledge of the issues. Accordingly, it is clear that a mixture of polite and tactful behavior is mandatory for any HR professional to be successful in their job.

The Role of HR in Modern Organizations

HR is now HCM, i.e., Human Capital Management, a Business Partner. The HR professional should stay neutral and not align with either management or labor. They should be fair in their treatment of people, assess situations correctly, and offer remedies both by the rule book and by using common sense. More often, they have to consider what a fair-minded person would think.

The Importance of Emotional Balance in HR

An HR professional needs to have emotional balance. At times, they take risks by considering a candidate for a job based solely on a resume (which may be fake) and a one-hour interview, sometimes swayed by the candidate's acting talent. HR cannot confine their knowledge to their domain; they should understand the company's business operations, functions, profitability, growth, etc.

Behavioral Expectations for HR Professionals

When it comes to behavior, it is expected of any individual to be well-balanced, and HR is no exception, as all my professional friends opined above. If behavior is erratic, it is more likely due to the way one was raised without any corrections being made during their growth, but that has nothing to do with the job description of an HR professional!

Best wishes

It is presumed that HR professionals are postgraduates and have the behavioral skills training and mastery to deal with people. In layman's terms, it is expected and stated that HR needs to be "soft-spoken." The most important part is to deal with every employee with respect and dignity. Expressing your ideas and opinions without hurting others while still making your point is a skill to learn. If you are assertive in dealing with people, the majority of your problems are resolved.

Thanks,
Sandesh Joshi

The Importance of Politeness in HR and Beyond

Polite and courteous behavior should be inherent in your character and dealings. That way, things will move better. This is not a special requirement for HR alone; it is a universal requirement. No amount of training can convert a rude and bad-natured person into an extremely polite and humble person. That is why deep selection and checking of behavioral aspects are vital for recruitment.

The recent issues being faced by Indigo are a manifestation of this problem. Outwardly polite and humble, but the minute any provocation takes place, the basic nature takes over, resulting in a loss of image for the airline. Had Indigo genuinely imbibed the essence of this quote, things would have been different: "Politeness and civility are the best capital ever invested in business."

But "Politeness is organized indifference." — Paul Valéry. This is where problems arise. One must do their job, HR or otherwise, with a genuine sense of being helpful and productive. The biggest act of kindness and politeness is if you listen to another person's problem fully and sincerely without interruptions. That will itself win half the battle.

The Importance of Being Soft-Spoken in HR

Yes, we should be soft-spoken. We need to be gentle when there is any query from an employee. However, we need not be soft when the situation is out of control, but this should be reflected in actions, not just words.

Most of the time, HR gets frustrated when an employee doesn't understand what HR is saying and asks the same question every day, even after a solution has been provided or an answer given.

Ultimately, if a company aims to maintain discipline, HR is necessary. However, a common issue arises when employees assume HR is always available and solely exists to solve their problems, even outside of work hours or when leaving the office. They may not realize that HR also has daily tasks and responsibilities, including generating reports manually or through software.

The Employee-Employer Relationship

The relationship between an employee and an employer can be likened to that of a son and a mother or father. If a son persists in demanding something repeatedly, how will the parent react?

All business functions exist because of customers. For the HR department, its company people are the customers. Therefore, here is a logic as to why an HR person should always retain their composure and speak softly. They have to be 'Assertive' rather than 'Aggressive'. Speaking softly is also a soft skill, and an HR person is supposed to be proficient in soft skills. I have enclosed a few slides that I use in my programs to highlight the importance of speaking well and the necessity to maintain it softly.

V. Raghunathan