Dear Ram Kishore,
Letter of suspension is official communication. In official communication, there is no place for informal language. Unfortunately, you have mixed formal and informal language together. I recommend following revisions in your draft: -
+++++
a) Hello Srinivas,: - Official letters, especially the letter that deal with employee discipline cannot be addressed as "Hello". We need to write employee's complete name, Employee No, Department etc.
b) Suspension Information: - Better to give subject heading as "Letter of Suspension"
c) This letter is to inform you that as a result of your actions on ( dt. ), you have been issued a suspension for ( Duration): - Based on the employee's actions, employee cannot be submitted. We need to write, "We had noticed misconduct on account of ______ on ____ (date). To investigate the misconduct, we had conducted domestic enquiry. Enquiry report establishes your culpability under the provisions of Standing Orders Paragraph No ____, Sub paragraph No____ and clause No ____. Therefore, as a punitive measure, you are placed under suspension from ______ (date) to ______ (date).
d) At this time your suspension you will not receive pay from the organisation: - write "For the suspension period mentioned above, you will forfeit your wages." Please note that your language should have sufficient punch.
e) You are expected to return to work on July 21st, 2009.: - Rather write, "You will resume your duties on _____ (date) at _____ hours. This is not a routine wherein you convey your expectations. This is a letter issued for the disciplinary purposes. You must use commanding language.
f) Unless contacted beforehand, you are not permitted to enter office premisses until the suspension is over. In the meantime any office property should remain in your possession.: - Rather than this statement write "Unless authorised, you will not enter into office premises during your suspension period. However, company property allotted to you will remain with you".
g) We advise you to refrain from making any public comments about the incident. Our lawyers have been instructed to defend our position to the media.: - Rather than this just write "Disclosure information about your suspension is strictly prohibited. Unwanted disclosure of information of suspension will also considered as misconduct". It is not advisable to give reference of company's lawyers, media etc.
h) If you have any questions regarding this suspension or if you have any important information that could shed further light on these allegations, please do not hesitate to contact me.: - Do not hesitate to contact me this language is suitable while dealing consultants, suppliers etc. However, in the letter of suspension, just write "This letter of suspension is self-explanatory, however, for further queries you may contact Ms/MR ______ of HR Department".
i) Regards, Human Resources: - Regards, phrase is used for the seniors or the one who done some favour. We cannot use this phrase while issuing letter of suspension to an employee who has done some misconduct. Secondly, we cannot just write "Human Resources". This is the name of the department. We need to write name of the signatory, designation etc.
j) Additional comments: - Occasionally few seniors may include 1-2 warning sentences in the letter of suspension. Therefore, we may write, You are hereby advised to be careful of your conduct. Recurrence of same misconduct or a misconduct of similar nature could lead to initiation severe disciplinary action against you.
+++++
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar