How Can We Learn Emotional Intelligence to Handle Awkward Situations Calmly?

Learning Emotional Intelligence

Is it possible to learn to become emotionally intelligent? Is there any way to learn and practice it? If yes, please tell me what the steps are. I have searched here but have not found any such topics.

Actually, it happens in life—be it personal or organizational—we come across people who may attack us with words that could leave us feeling angry or embarrassed. The options are either not to react and stay calm, handling the situation tactfully, or to react and engage in an argument. The first option is preferable, but in reality, we often resort to the second option, which can be harmful.

Could we please discuss how to become emotionally mature and handle such awkward situations calmly and tactfully? I would appreciate it if you could share your experiences, ideas, and suggestions.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Understanding emotional intelligence is a crucial part of soft skills. Any aspect of soft skills can be learned independently, and this particular subject is no exception. There are numerous books available in the market; consider purchasing some to enhance your knowledge. While there are articles on Emotional Intelligence (EI) available on the internet, the information may be scattered. Books, on the other hand, are well-organized, presenting topics in a structured manner.

I admire your eagerness to acquire new skills. Having the willingness to learn is half the battle. I wish you the best of luck in your learning journey. Additionally, besides self-learning, it is essential to have a guide who can provide feedback on the implementation of your learning. While the story of Eklavya in the Mahabharata is inspiring, we live in the 21st century and cannot precisely emulate him. Therefore, your next challenge is to find a guide or mentor who can assist you in implementing your learning effectively. Just as salt is crucial in an Indian recipe, feedback is vital in the implementation of learning.

Best regards,

Dinesh Divekar

Dear Pmon,

Regarding Emotional Intelligence (EI) or any other topic, I have been providing guidance to members of this forum for almost the last decade. Therefore, I recommend that you proceed with learning a new subject, implement the learning, and then confirm the challenges you faced during the implementation. Feedback will be provided thereafter.

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Generally, the term emotional intelligence (EI) is known as the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions, label them appropriately, and use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior. EI is also said to reflect abilities to join intelligence, empathy, and emotions to enhance thought and understanding of interpersonal dynamics.

However, I personally disagree with the term emotional intelligence. In my view, emotions and intelligence are two different sides of a coin, like two different poles of a magnet, which cannot come together at any time. The framework of intelligence cannot have any place for emotions, and likewise, emotions cannot match intelligence.

If a person is emotional, they cannot be fair, rational, or impartial, as their views are usually influenced by their own emotions and personal feelings. They cannot even judge their own capabilities objectively. Criticism can hurt them deeply when it is related to their emotional style of doing things. They also might struggle to assess the intelligence and talent of others in an impartial manner.

In my opinion, it is just a theoretical concept coined by Michael Beldoch that first appeared in a 1964 paper. However, the term serves as good fodder for idle minds to engage in debates and discussions, leading to more theoretical knowledge.

By the way, why do you want to learn and practice EI?

Emotional Intelligence: Key Areas

Emotional Intelligence has four main areas: 1. Self-Awareness, 2. Self-Regulation, 3. Self-Management, and 4. Self-Actualization. Read Daniel Goleman's book on Emotional Intelligence. You will agree that all of us have the ability to improve our self-awareness by taking a deep look into ourselves.

For example, if you attend some sensitivity training workshops, you will become much clearer about your own strengths and weaknesses, which in turn will increase your awareness. This is a significant area, but you can certainly improve your emotional intelligence.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness, self-regulation, self-management, and self-actualization can be understood by an emotional person. But what about the ability to monitor other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions, label them appropriately, and use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior?

In fact, upon serious thought, it has nothing to do with intelligence. Self-awareness, self-regulation, self-management, and self-actualization are only remedial measures to rectify the drawbacks of a person's emotions with strong willpower and self-practice through devotion and determination. A weak-willed person cannot control or manage their emotions, let alone judge others.

To be frank, the topic should have been termed "Emotional Management." I believe that the term "intelligence" has been added to create a sense of curiosity, just to attract the attention of academicians and theoretical-minded individuals. Regarding books, many can be written by anyone with a creative mind to form hypotheses from any term or topic. The discussions on any topic can be endless.

Please let me know if you need any further assistance.

Regards

Improving Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

Unlike IQ, which is very hard to change, EQ can be improved through deliberate practice. There's no need to eliminate emotions in the workplace, but both leaders and employees need to understand themselves better and learn how to manage emotions effectively. Keep in mind the four competencies of emotional intelligence:

1. Self-awareness
2. Self-regulation
3. Empathy
4. Social skills

I believe that you would benefit from having a mentor, who could be a kind colleague, close friend, or relative, to help you recognize and adjust your daily reactions in a timely manner. Please be patient, as it will take time to improve.

You may want to delve deeper into the topic at http://vnmanpower.com/en/iq-vs-eq-wh...ess-bl219.html

Thank you.

Resources for Developing Emotional Intelligence

Two resources for you:

1. Workshop by Mr. Satish Mandora from www.squarecircles.in, which I found very effective. Details and contacts are here: http://squarecircles.in/images/LAXMAN%2021%20Jan.pdf

2. This course on Coursera by Dr. Richard Boyatzis. It is free if you do not want a certificate. I attended this and found it very useful. https://www.coursera.org/learn/emoti...nce-leadership

A habit of sitting in silence and watching your breath for 15 to 30 minutes a day helps significantly in developing better insights and improving emotional intelligence.

All the best!!

Regards, Vijai Pandey
www.ThePsychometricWorld.com

Dear Pmon,

You have already received a lot of input from many of our senior members. The subject of Emotional Intelligence has been extensively discussed in this forum. You can try the following from Cite HR archives. There are many more in Cite HR if you are interested.

- [Emotional Intelligence Ppt - Ppt Download | CiteHR](https://www.citehr.com/showthread.php?t=195910)
- [Presentation On Emotional Intelligence - Pdf Download | CiteHR](https://www.citehr.com/showthread.php?t=299769)

V. Raghunathan

I remember Dr. Promod Batra's team at Delhi used to conduct workshops on emotional intelligence. You may Google to get his contact details.

Thank you, everyone, for your valuable inputs.

Some people also ask why it's important. It's important in the corporate world to manage your emotions when you face stress, criticism, personal clashes, etc. Knowing how to handle our emotions helps us tackle many such situations coolly and, most importantly, smartly. :-)

Pmon

One contribution from me also.

[Emotional Intelligence for Everybody PPT](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEEGMyl7tno)

If it helps, you can read the rest of the description on their site [here](http://pptclub.blogspot.com/2015/07/pptclub-emotional-intelligence-for-everybody-powerpoint-presentation.html) - [PPT] Emotional Intelligence For Everybody PPT Download and download the PPT also from [PPTClubArchive](http://pptclub.wix.com/pptclubarchive).

Ok

Binu