Hello Pragati Ray,
While joining the other members in sharing your grief, please mention clearly in this forum what documents you have submitted to the company.
More importantly, did the lot include your Marriage Certificate?
@Korgaonkar--
To the extent I know, once a man/woman has proof of marriage, doesn't that evidence—legally—override the other nominations given before marriage?
@ Dinesh--
Regarding your comments "let me reiterate my suggestion of staying together. If both parties unify, the grandson will benefit the most as he will learn to live with other family members as well. Instincts of teamwork get imbibed easily in joint families than in nuclear families"—
I am not so sure that this will work out as you expect in this case. Having watched such situations from very close quarters, it's more than likely that the kid will grow up being torn between the two poles of affection and demands...mother and grandparents [given the background].
One of them surely has to back out...in the process, taking the brunt of the pain and helplessness. It's tough to give any 'right/wrong' suggestion in such a situation.
And knowing child psychology reasonably well, the kid is bound to grow into someone who either doesn't trust anyone or has very low self-esteem later in his life...I won't be surprised if it continues into his late life too—seriously.
Your surmise about joint families is true only when it's been there since birth for the child. It's tough to even give credence, forget believing, that a child picks up psychological inputs during 0-5 years of age that decide much of what he/she becomes later in life.
@Pragati Ray--
You mentioned "I'm sure if I asked them for that certificate they won't give me; in fact, they will ask for their share"—for all you know, your in-laws may not be the same people after the loss of their son?
Like Dinesh suggested, send someone whom you trust to just inquire if they will give the NOC...let this not look like you are asking for it. Let it look more like the via-media person is suggesting to them on his/her own. Based on their response/reaction, you can take the next step. Just give this possibility a chance—if it works out, well and good. And if it doesn't, you haven't lost anything.
Even if they ask for a share, I am with Dinesh on this aspect...unless, of course, they want 90% of it...meaning a major share.
It's up to you to decide your priority...money or a peaceful life focusing on you and your son's future. Please note that money can always be earned again. Like the saying in Hindi goes: "Zindagi mein kuch paana hai to kuch khona hai". The choice is the individual's...again, nothing 'right/wrong' here, only consequences.
You haven't mentioned if you are working and if your husband was the only son to your in-laws. Both these factors would also determine some response mechanisms from both ends.
And without sounding prophetic, I also wouldn't rule out the possibility of your in-laws contacting you later in life [when they really realize their follies...i.e., they change...which is not possible if all of you compromise to stay together now] to see their grandson...especially if your husband was their only son. Hence, I would suggest you not to 'burn all the bridges'...unless you see clear evidence of them trying to take emotional and psychological control of your child. The ideal situation would be where your son has both you and his grandparents.
All the Best.
Regards,
TS