How Do You Handle a Dominating Co-worker with Years of Experience? Seeking Advice!

Dealing with Co-worker Domination

How can one face co-worker domination due to her 15 years of experience in the same office under the same boss? She is a female without much knowledge about management, yet she makes the boss nod his head for her seemingly trivial decisions. Despite being a diploma holder, she interferes with the work of MBA, BE, and BTech professionals inside the office, simply because she has been working there for 15 long years. The boss believes she is the only loyal worker.

How can one deal with her? Suggestions and advice are most welcome.

Thanks,
Prakash.S

There is a saying, "You cannot afford to be in the lake and also be an enemy of the crocodile at the same time." Being a newcomer, it won't be easy to get rid of her before you make your strong footing.

Your Options:

1. Bear with her and believe in fate.

2. Quit the job and ensure you don't find her clone in another organization.

3. Understand her and why she makes silly, useless decisions. Learn if there is something more behind her decisions with practical experience of 15 years, which you, as a newcomer, might be lacking. I guess her decisions would obviously be affecting others in the organization apart from yourself. If you stand united, then divided we fall.

Regards,

I do accept the existence of such senior employees in organizations who have succeeded in making their boss dance to their tunes. But, you must look into the Problem - First.

Kindly share your exact (realistic) problem (your perception) associated with the senior-most employee in your organization. If it has affected you, kindly let us know what kind of loss you have incurred.

I am sure it's not about the XYZ employee (irrespective of her seniority or position in the hierarchy). It's all about your interpretation & perception. Hence, I request you to focus on the problem (interpret accurately with a high perception level), but not on the human being.

Your qualifications may not support you to make decisions or handle situations or manage things better than expected or develop a process for further improvement, unless you have been through a stage where you have spent sufficient time and dealt with various problems/issues/processes, etc., that must be realistic in nature. In simple words, it is all about the:

1) Experience (knowledge/information) gained over a period of time,

2) Maturity (logical/analytical/calculative) level possessed by an intellectual who can demonstrate the competencies of a star performer.

Please share your problem, and I will present a solution to your perception. You need to solve it before it takes you for a long ride.

With profound regards

You have to understand that this way has been successful for her for many years. It has become her working style—tried, tested, and accepted by the boss, who has also become accustomed to it. You have to work very hard, smart, and diplomatically until you match the level of loyalty and dependability from the boss's point of view. "To understand all is to forgive all." Understand her majboori/insecurity behind this. Never take it personally. It's part and parcel of non-professionally managed setups everywhere, especially in small and medium-scale industries.

Regards,

Strategizing to Work with a Dominating Co-worker

Think this way: why can't you extract work from her? Understand her requirements, analyze the same, make a strategy, and have her work for it. By doing so, you will concentrate on developmental tasks instead of breaking your head over this issue.

Regards

"To get what you want, STOP doing what isn't working" - Dennis Weaver.

Take a Different Approach

Look at the world from her point of view. What are her fears, her anxieties? How have the last 15 years shaped her beliefs about the workplace? Why is the boss listening to her? You may gain a different perspective.

Be the Change

Cheers

It seems like there is more politics and less work nowadays. If this worker of yours is causing trouble intentionally, it might stem from some insecurity on her part. Change your attitude, have faith in yourself and your skills. Please do not gratify her by reacting; that is just what she wants. Forget her and concentrate on your work. Believe me, things will settle down after some time.

When somebody joins any organization, this has to be faced; hope she might be your next good friend. However, in the profession, do not compromise on things in which you are a master. Argue to the core; it looks like your boss is not so knowledge-oriented. Argue to the core if you feel that you are right and she is really silly. At least if you don't win, both your boss and his sect will think twice before commenting on anything.

In life, we may need two choices in every aspect of life, so choose the one that will make you feel better at the end of the day.

Hope you got your solution.

Nice Suggestion (Cite Contribution) & Sankatacharya. Everyone has their own way of working; how can we deem them wrong? No doubt, if she has been working in the organization for the past 15 years, bosses will definitely have more faith in her. I believe if you want to establish your position among the bosses, first show that you value her experience, try to learn her way of working, and then only you can surpass her.

Fifteen years ago, people were not as professional as they are today, so it is undoubtedly very difficult for her to accept changes. You will have to gain her confidence and help her understand the benefits of the policies. I think slowly, this way you can bring about the changes.

Regards,
Ravita

For experienced persons, it is common that they will dominate others. My suggestion in this connection is to bear with such people and observe their professionalism. Maintain strict confidence, show your ability to do things better, keep patience, behave properly, keep up with time management, punctuality, attendance, and promptness in dealing with official business. Bear in mind the official targets and their implementation within the prescribed time frame. Show loyalty and soundness so that the officials in your surroundings will definitely support and like you. Develop yourself professionally, demonstrate your qualities and skills in your professional dealings to show that you possess more qualities and skills that could not be acquired solely through experience.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you.

Best regards

I feel that you are experiencing an issue with ego regarding how a girl who is just a diploma holder can supersede an MBA. The first issue is that she is a woman, and the second is that she is a diploma holder. However, you are ignoring her experience and loyalty. Experience is a more critical aspect when dealing with the situation. It will take a lot of time for you to prove yourself. So, first prove yourself and then compete. She has been working for the last fifteen years, which means she is an asset to the company. Even though you may think she is making silly mistakes, she must also be doing a lot of good work.

You need to introspect.

1. You seem to have a strong gender bias. You must accept that irrespective of gender, people can perform.
2. You seem to have a strong bias towards qualifications. The fact that she has been in the organization for 15 years is an indication that she is contributing.
3. How do you presume that the decisions taken by the management on her advice are silly? Do you really know the circumstances under which these decisions are made?
4. If the boss believes she is loyal, there must be some truth in it.

Unless you eliminate biased opinions based on gender and qualifications, you cannot grow. Look at the content and not the container. You seem to have been influenced by the container.

Best wishes,
Sivasankaran

I am presenting my views on your query. I hope it helps you in overcoming the problem and leading a happy life.

How to Face Co-worker Domination Due to Her 15 Years' Experience in the Same Office Under the Same Boss?

Why do you want to 'face' her? Why can't you try to work around and work with her?

"She is a female without much knowledge about management, but she makes the boss nod his head for her silly, useless decisions."

Please post your educational and professional data and your intellectual largess that gives you the license to decide about others' knowledge of management. Define management for me in your own words.

"After all, she is basically a diploma holder, but she messes up with all the MBA, BE, and BTechs inside the office just because she has been working there for 15 long years. And the boss believes she is the only loyal worker."

This shows a bit of intellectual arrogance. I guess you are a bit more qualified than a Diploma. My dear friend, knowledge and education are two different things. Just being more educated does not give you an upper hand in being able to appreciate a situation.

This reminds me of the story I had read around 14 years ago: 'The Enchanted Pool'. When all the brothers of Yudhisthira had died after drinking water from the pool, Yudhisthira was asked by Yaksha a question to save one of his dead brothers:

Question: How does one get wisdom?

Answer: Not by studying any Shastra does one get wisdom. It is by association with men in wisdom that one gets wisdom.

So, instead of boasting about your better education level, try to learn from people. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey was all about. That will help you in a long way, and after 20-30 years, you will feel that this was the best decision you ever made.

How to Get Rid of Her? Suggestions and Advice Are Most Welcome.

I feel that this option should be left to the boss. Do your best and leave the rest. If you try to do this to her, tomorrow you may find yourself in her shoes too.

This reminds me of another story I had read around 10-12 years back. There were a lot of frogs in a well that used to live happily. One day, there was a bit of discontent in the mind of a frog, and he decided to get rid of his enemies. So, he invited a large snake from a hole nearby the well. The snake used to eat frogs every day. Soon, all the frogs were dead, and the snake turned to eat that frog and his family. The frog died repenting his action.

Regards,
singhn9

Attribution: https://www.citehr.com/403654-managi...#ixzz1sqcAytrO

Addressing Co-Worker Dynamics

Practically, the lady in the organization is a very experienced employee. Understanding the boss's perspective, she has been working for a long time in the organization, which needs to be respected.

At the same time, you need to sit and discuss matters with the lady about her reasons for providing such an opinion. Whenever you are in a meeting, you can present your point while agreeing with the lady's perspective. Show that the point she raised was good, but it can be further modified in your way.

Regards,

Someone like this exists in every organization. As some have mentioned, there may be a communication gap or a perception problem. But if you feel that is not the case and she is deliberately doing so to pamper her ego, then the best thing is to avoid this. One should never mix their work with personal rifts. Such people exist everywhere and continue to be like this. Someone like this doesn't deserve your attention, AT ALL!

All the very best, and have some patience... Besides, if your company has 360-degree appraisals, then you can always mention it then!

Regards

You can't do anything about this situation since she has reaped the fruits of loyalty. Working in one organization for 15 years is not child's play. She must have shown her performance in the past, and that could be the reason for her having stayed for 15 years. Everyone has some bad qualities; that doesn't mean that you can criticize him or her. So, you should try giving her a memo and see the consequences of it. If the boss says anything to her, then try to make him understand the reality. If he is not ready to listen to you, then give up. You grow and leave the company.

Please consider becoming aware of how your perception of the lady is affecting you. Once you have taken notice of the thoughts that are evoked by her in you—particularly in a situation you would call toxic—consider accepting and letting go of those thoughts. Try to be in the moment; there is a lot more happening at your workplace beyond just interactions with the lady. Do not miss out on these other experiences due to any preoccupation with her.

All of this is much easier said than done, but that is the challenge for all of us, I guess. Best wishes.

I think understanding her can surely help. What is the quality in her that makes the boss listen to her? Is it her experience, dominating nature, convincing skills, etc.? If her decisions are really affecting the business and others, identify those affected and unite to address the issue. These actions can really help and are sometimes needed in an organization. Sometimes people find a comfort zone at a place and don't want to leave; this can be a reason to perceive her as loyal to the company.

Not a difficult thing to correct her, but it would require lots of patience on your part. Do you have JDs in place? Next, do you have KPIs in place? Formulate a compensation and a training plan keeping the above in mind.

With the passage of time, i.e., <6 months, it would be clear to everyone that she is not a domain expert in any area nor a strong leader.