Struggling to Stand Up for Myself: How Can I Become More Assertive Without Regret?

I am facing some self-complex issues. I find it hard to shout at people, especially those who are at the same level or are outsiders. In my routine life, I struggle to confront certain situations and later regret not speaking up at that time. I console myself by believing that only the tough can forgive others, and there is no point in escalating petty issues.

However, some things can hit your self-respect at times. I want to be more aggressive so that nobody can unnecessarily dominate me. Could somebody please suggest some exercises or training to help me with this?

What is aggression? One of the dictionary meanings of aggression is "destructive behavior or actions." Do you want to engage in destructive work in life? Why do you want to shout at people? For managing people, it is not necessary to shout at each and every person. Actually, when you shout or express your anger in that manner, it shows a weakness of your mind.

Managing as a Manager

As a manager, your success is proven when you can manage things by keeping your cool. In HR, many times you have to handle irritating people and situations. You should be perfect in your ideas and your work so that others cannot blame or confuse you. Your voice and words should have weight, which can have a desirable impact on others. Be clear and confident when communicating with others. If the opposite person disagrees, then also, in clear words, give him/her an idea of the impact of the same.

You should shout very rarely and that too purposefully to have some desirable impact. Nobody takes it seriously when a person is always shouting at everyone all the time.

Regards

Not being aggressive is not your problem. Your problem is that people are taking you for granted. This problem has arisen because of a lack of assertive skills. Therefore, you need to learn these skills. Secondly, you also need to learn interpersonal skills. Thirdly, you need to learn how to exercise authority. Exercising authority is important, and it can be done even without shouting.

Famous Quote

Please remember the famous quote of Herodotus (484 BC - 430 BC). He said, "Force has no place where there is a need for skill."

Ok...

Regards,
Dinesh V Divekar
Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.