Feeling Trapped by a Harassing Manager: Should I Turn to HR or Consider Leaving?

I don't want to work with my current manager. She has mentally harassed me, due to which I can't concentrate on my work. Her routine is to find fault in my work continuously, document it through mail, then use some quality people to let me down with my work, demotivate me, etc.

Now I have been with the company for 8 months, with 4 months left to complete the bond. The harassment is escalating. What should I do? Should I go to HR and talk about this, or will they threaten me with the legal bond, or will they help me in the changing process?

Or what if I abscond? I won't mind the letter, etc.

Bad bosses are not a new species; you will find them in all organizations. It is very difficult to avoid them unless you start your own business. Running from the situation is not the right solution, and complaining to HR and others might not solve your issue; at the same time, it might make the issue bigger.

Dealing with a Difficult Boss Professionally

You have to deal with it professionally. Have continuous discussions with your manager, ask for feedback, concentrate on your work, and show results. If nothing works, then consider looking for a new job and resign. Ensure that your exit is smooth and clean.

You could have given a little more information, like what type of industry you are in, what your designation is, and what your general job responsibilities are. Your boss finds fault because the fault is there. It is good luck that you have this kind of boss!

Imagine a situation where your boss was inefficient. Then possibly, he would have found fewer faults in your work. But then whose loss would it have been? Yours or the boss's?

I recommend that you persist in the same job tenaciously. This way, you learn to deal with adversity. Leadership demands facing adversities. Take it in a positive spirit. One day, your boss will mellow down.

You need to do some introspection as well. Is your boss giving you a dressing down because you commit the same mistakes again and again? Every job requires some basic common sense. Has your boss scolded you because you failed to show common sense?

What you need to do is start writing a diary and note down instances of your boss chiding you. Then classify the mistakes. Try to find out whether any specific pattern emerges.

If you handle the situation patiently, you will reap the rewards of this patience. If you run away from the situation, you will receive rewards, but these could be negative. The choice is yours!

I understand the difficult situation you are going through. It is much easier to give advice than to face a real situation. However, running away is not a solution. If you run away, you will not receive an experience certificate. If you don't get an experience certificate, then it will be considered a gap in your career. How will you justify this gap? This very gap will set back your career sometime later.

Regards,
DVD

I know the difficult situation you are going through. It is much easier to advise than to face the real situation. However, running away is not a solution. If you run away, you will not receive an experience certificate. Without an experience certificate, there will be a gap in your career that you will need to justify. This gap could set your career back in the future.

Speak to someone who is superior to you; perhaps they can provide advice.

I totally agree with Dinesh. Even if you leave your current job, is it guaranteed that you will not face similar issues in future jobs? Maybe you will have to work with people who give you a tougher time than your current boss. Learn to be patient, and I know it will only come with time and maturity. You will have to tackle situations tactfully and wisely. Try to self-evaluate; no one is perfect, and there is always room for improvement. If you leave the company, you will never learn to tackle these difficult situations.

Best of luck!

Addressing Mistakes at Work

If the boss is finding some mistakes in your work, it means there is room for improvement. No doubt, you will not repeat the same error in the future. Just set up a meeting with your boss and politely express that their behavior is concerning you, and assure them that you are making efforts to enhance your skills. Running away from a situation is not a solution; be strong.

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Also, please go through books on Emotional Intelligence in the workplace. They will guide you on how to handle both challenging and positive situations in the workplace.

Regards,
Nilesh Patil

Thanks for replying and empathizing with the matter. This is my first job. I am in the BPO industry in Chandigarh. I would like to let you know that I am leading the quality chart. Other coworkers do praise me and motivate me. However, she looks for reasons to blame. It's not like I am blindly pointing my finger at her. Initially, there was a time when she showed some partiality towards me, and I acknowledged the same early on. I had a meeting with her. Due to my intervention in the matter, she had to change her decision and did it in my favor, which was justified.

However, she still blames me for exhibiting offensive behavior to put forth my point of view. I could have been offensive, maybe due to my talking style or questioning style, etc.

Later on, everything went smoothly. Soon, I received an email stating that I had used the wrong measure or manipulated the system to reflect good work (daily counts). I researched the matter and let her know that it was not my mistake. It could be either a system glitch or the auditor's fault who hadn't done the job willfully and skillfully.

She stood in front of the quality auditor and said certain things, indicating it wasn't his fault and all. Later on, things again turned offensive, and I finally raised this issue with HR. I don't know what will happen. What about the bond?

Don't you think she could blame me for being offensive and try to divert from the real issue and portray me negatively to HR in a manner that I am untrustworthy, especially since she is in management?

What if they terminate me or try to make me sign some papers, or what about the full and final settlement?

A few friends in HR suggest I not sign any documents just for the F and F money because, after the bond period is over, they could sue me for bond money since they would have a document signed by me dated earliest.

Please help me...

Thanks for the previous assistance; looking forward to your cooperation.

Re: Mental Harassment

Once, I was in the same situation you are facing now. Quitting the job is not the solution. Try as much as you can to be on top of the situation. This means you have to be diligent in carrying out your assigned duties. Please be patient. Such "mental harassment" will bring out the best in you.

Today, the "mental harassment" I experienced in the past has transformed me into a head of department. I attend management meetings with the same woman who gave me plenty of trouble, as I saw it then. Nevertheless, that made me who I am today.

Best Regards,
Adah

Hi, being an HR professional, I always love to face problems. Please note that we all taste success after facing problems. Further, please check if it is really harassment because some management may test your mental strength, a kind of stress interview. So, it's better to analyze the problem and then make a decision. Please note again, you can take opinions from others, but the decision you have to make. Have a nice day.

Best Regards,
Rajkumar Paul.

Dealing with Harassment from an Immediate Boss

Harassment from an immediate boss in any department is always present. Harassment can occur from the immediate boss or through other departments where he/she coordinates.

Consequences of Selecting the Wrong Candidate

Selecting the wrong candidate without much exposure to a particular activity can lead to harassment. In private sectors (Medium-Scale Enterprises), candidates (professionals) are often recruited through top-level recommendations. In such cases, organizations may be unable to provide a suitable job to the candidate, resulting in a waste of time during office hours. Irrelevant tasks are given to the candidate to perform. Eventually, the top management of the company calls the candidate and asks, "What tasks have you been doing all these days?" The management may disagree with the candidate's explanation and begin to consider how to address the situation.

Elimination through Harassment

The best way to eliminate the candidate is through harassment, such as not assigning any work, complete isolation, not allowing any communication, and thorough monitoring of the candidate's computer activities. This treatment may lead the candidate to conclude that the top management of the company is not considering them for a regular position, leaving no option but to leave.

Finding a Positive Way Forward

In this scenario, the candidate may not feel comfortable discussing internal politics, performance, workload, and objectives with anyone, which can be unproductive.

The only way to escape this situation is to find a good opportunity that suits your nature and scope of work, select the right industry, and not settle for a lower salary. Imagine this situation and approach it with positivity. "May your world always be a beautiful place."

Good Luck.

Regards,
Rekha Bhanu

Handling Toxic Bosses: Steps to Take

Toxic bosses can increase the stress in your life, and staying with such people for too long can either break you or make you like one of them. Here are 2-3 steps to handle this situation:

1. Be assertive about your rights. Be strong. When something goes wrong, tell the person strongly, politely, and firmly. Stick to your guns. Don't be afraid of conflicts if you are convinced you are right.

2. If things don't work out, discuss the matter with your HR or the next higher authority.

3. If nothing works out, then finish your time and leave. All of us work for our living and peace of mind. If your mind is going to pieces every single day, then the situation needs to be changed. Many people stick around in bad jobs or bad marriages, hoping that things will change. It never happens. Your quest for peace and happiness should not be held ransom by any person, at home or in the office. However, the only thing you need to introspect is whether there is a chance that you are at fault. Ask every person whom you work with for this answer if you have the courage. Take feedback from your friends, colleagues, and even enemies. If you are convinced about your stance, be strong, be reasonable, and change the situation or change the job.