Facing Pressure for Unwanted Relationships at Work: How Can I Protect Myself and Take Action?

Hello, I have worked with three MNCs. In all of these MNCs, I have observed that the management expects employees to engage in physical relationships with colleagues, and if you refuse, they begin to harass you mentally, affecting your experience within the company. What should be done about this? The way some female colleagues approach you in the office involves giving various inappropriate signals, as you may be aware. This is the third company where I have encountered this issue. What actions can I take? Is it possible to take legal action against them? If so, what steps can I follow? Please advise. This is the third job I have lost due to this situation.

Thank you.

Hello, I have worked with 3 MNCs. In all of these MNCs, I have observed that the management expects employees to engage in physical relationships with colleagues, and if you refuse, they may resort to mental harassment to make your time in the company difficult. What should be done about this? The way female colleagues approach you in the office is by giving various inappropriate signals, as many of you may be aware. This is the third company where I have encountered this issue. What actions can I take? Can I take legal action against them? If yes, what should I do? Please advise. This is the third job I have lost due to this issue.

Interesting query! Can you please answer the following questions? This will help our readers and seniors suggest good solutions:

- What is your age?
- What is your profile background?
- In which industry are these MNCs you mentioned located?
- How long were you employed at each MNC?

Thanks

Dear Abhay,

The information you have provided is inadequate. This is your side of the story. Unless we know the other side, it would not be fair on our part to give our opinions.

Nevertheless, Mr. Zulfikar has raised valid questions. What was your position in each of the companies?

Overall, in MNCs, the culture is a little open. For a conservative society like India, it may not be amenable. But then from your post (though it is repeated thrice), what is not clear is what was the motive behind the sexual overtures from the other gender. Why would anyone do that? What was the business of those MNCs? Were they running some dating agency? Discreetly, did you find out the reason why some women staff were currying favor with you?

Generally, higher-level staff get involved in some sort of affair with 1-2 odd women employees. A few even go to the extent of terminating women employees if they do not respond to the sexual overtures. Otherwise, some odd seductress does her job, and a senior-level official gets involved with her, though willy-nilly.

Now, what has happened in your case is quite different. In your case, some third party has a vested interest in developing an affair with you through a second party! This did not just happen in one odd company but three companies in continuity. And for not obliging to their overtures, you ended up losing your job! Will this story be logically acceptable to any other person?

Thanks,

Dinesh V Divekar

I felt a little surprised upon seeing the issue you stated above. By expressing this in a general manner, I felt you were generalizing the topic and the issue. The issue you mentioned is not a simple matter and could potentially result in disciplinary action, up to and including termination of employment.

The statement above seems to suggest that all industries are filled with women seeking someone to satisfy their physical desires. This allegation appears to stem from a biased view you may hold towards the industry or the female workforce.

I would suggest that if you are of marriageable age, you consider getting married to broaden your perspective and refresh your outlook on the industry. Alternatively, if you believe that women approach with ulterior motives, perhaps you should give it a chance, as not everyone in the industry may have such intentions. (Inserting humor: :P) Jokes aside, I would greatly appreciate it if you could provide the requested details for further discussion if you are indeed facing this issue.

Regards,
Jay
Director HR

None of us are clear about your query. Even though many organizations follow an OPEN CULTURE, what you have mentioned cannot happen nor can it be promoted in any way. Maybe you were asked to develop INTERPERSONAL SKILLS for A HEALTHY EMPLOYEE RELATIONSHIP @ THE WORKPLACE, but it cannot go beyond this.

Regarding INTERNAL AFFAIRS between employees of the opposite sex, it may be happening, but again, this is not promoted in any organization to any extent because it is not a part of BUSINESS OBJECTIVES. Forget about those selfish employees (maybe holding higher positions) who want to have a physical relationship with employees just to fulfill their desires.

Could you please let me know, "why would management want you to engage in a physical relationship with female employees?" What does this have to do with THE ORGANIZATION'S BUSINESS OBJECTIVES?

You have to disclose whatever is on your mind, and please don't post anything that is "IMAGINARY" or try to play games. Please think wisely before you reply to us.

I am really curious to study your behavior to understand you better and would appreciate it if you could email me the names of those MNCs where you have served, including your current employer.

Regards

Addressing Workplace Harassment Concerns

There are two sides to this issue. For individuals like me who are outside the MNCs, it is inappropriate to comment without any first-hand information. It is also fair not to generalize based on things said and done in a single instance. However, if such incidents have occurred or are happening, as a human being, it concerns me greatly, especially if it involves female colleagues who are like my sisters and friends. In such a case, I am genuinely concerned.

As an outsider, it is challenging to ascertain the exact circumstances if such a thing has indeed happened. Nevertheless, such occurrences may not be limited to MNCs but could happen in non-MNCs as well; good and bad exist everywhere. The prevention of such incidents relies on the strong determination of the women affected. If it occurs repeatedly involving more than one female, collectively, it can be addressed, and action can be taken against those responsible. This is the need of the hour. The power of women is formidable, and it is gaining strength.

Regards,
Kumar S.

Since this has been posted in this forum, I feel Mr. Abhay has to provide more details as called for. Only then can anything meaningful be done. But I do wonder how this can happen wherever he got employed. Something seems to be wrong.

At the same time, Mr. Abhay may feel it's impossible to provide all details here. It would be wise if he could reply personally to at least one of the seniors here so he can be helped if the complaint is genuine.

Mr. Abhay,

I am not clear with your briefings above. Kindly brief it well. Notably, you are working in India. I do not believe this happens in India. You might have received some wrong information (gossips). Please try to understand that a physical relationship does not lead a particular employee to higher grades. Do you all believe this and accept this, citehrians?

For your kind information, I have good respect for women. More or less 200 women workers are working in my company, and I have not found even one case like this now.

Regards,
Ramkishore
HR Manager

Dear Abhay, I am surprised reading your response. Honestly speaking, I am not convinced by the explanation you have put forward. Also, refrain from using abusive words; this is a respectable forum.

You are a 26-year-old mature man with good education and a positive career ahead of you. As you mentioned, three big MNCs wanted you to have an intimate relationship with your female colleagues. This is unacceptable, illogical, and indigestible. Moreover, in India, although we are advanced, India still remains a conservative and hypocritical country with respect to premarital sex.

Even assuming that you have received sexual advances from many girls in your three employments, you can politely turn down their advances and concentrate on your job. Management would be concerned with your boardroom performance, not bedrooms!

Generally, women have been victims of sexual harassment at more significant levels compared to men. In the case of men, it is more out of obsession with one or two women on personal levels.

You mentioned that you went to an IPS officer to complain about such harassment and hacking of your account. Trust me, whether you are a big shot or a commoner, the police will take your complaint seriously unless you are complaining against some big politician, then I can understand.

Certain Points from Your Narration with Which I Am Not Convinced:

1. Non-action of Police
2. Management pressuring you to have sex
3. Bunch of girls chasing you

There are plenty of good professionals your company can hire; you are not the only superstar or showman working in the company. There are enough handsome boys in your city; you can tell those girls to chase them.

Abhay, my friend, don't take my words wrong. You know your truth; that's it! If whatever you said is true, one company, it's believable! But two and three companies... Come on, Abhay! You are not telling us something!

Dear Mr. Abhay,

I have gone through your reply and would request you to have control over yourself.

- I have also noted a few points where your issue was not taken for granted just because you are "MALE," else it would have been a very serious issue in the history of INDIAN EMPLOYERS/MNC's.

- I truly wonder how FEMALE EMPLOYEES are executing as planned by their superiors. We all need to consider BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN before we can arrive at a relative conclusion.

We are trying to counsel you to gather facts that could help us understand the whole scenario. There should be some logic for you being targeted, and we haven't got any clue as to why your employers have chosen you for such treatment.

All I can say is that you please try to answer our queries. Let's have fruitful discussions rather than exchanging filthy information.

Would you mind answering my queries?

1. "Is this happening only to you or to any other guys in your current and previous organizations?"

2. "Are none of the employees aware of what's happening with you?"

3. "Did you receive any support from your co-workers/colleagues?"

4. "Did you reveal this information to anyone else apart from the police?"

Please provide us with logical information. You can personally talk to any of the senior members; perhaps you can meet Mr. Dinesh Divekar as he is residing in BANGALORE. Reveal everything you have with you.

Kindly consider my request and proceed further. We shall arrive at a productive/effective conclusion for your workplace issues only if we are convinced; otherwise, no one can help you, dude.

Just to keep you cool, I would love to say that, YOU ARE A GUY, just chill dude, things will be fine pretty soon.

With profound regards.

Dear Mr. Abhay, I would rather stay away from this discussion. My reply is only because some of the stalwarts of the forum have taken the time to respond to you.

Clarifying Intentions

What is your intention? Do you have some inbuilt problem? You mentioned that this is the third multinational corporation that has forced you into a situation like this. Why do you have to risk losing your job just because of this reason? What did you do when you faced this situation in the first two companies? There are still so many questions. Either come with a clear query or else kindly stay away, please.

Moderators, please look into the post.

I feel you have to change your industry to something like manufacturing or even the Defense Forces. You may try this, or else stand up and reveal the companies and managers who are forcing you into this situation (only in your view). Here, you can do a couple of things.

Stand up and publish the names, as well as your employee number and all details with solid evidence, or else you might fall into big trouble as this could be a case of character assassination and company defacing. Alternatively, go with the flow as you have a rare chance, as many people are just praying for a chance like this. Or, you may join some social holistic groups or organizations where such things do not happen.

As I said, consider changing the industry. Alternatively, take the help of a counselor to understand what's the real issue.

Regards,
Jay
Director HR and Client Relations

Before you proceed with any charges, try to identify the people who are supporting you. You may not have as many supporters as you assume, even if you are the victim.

Regards,
Ashak Officer-IR

Mr. Abhay, I don't know how much truth there is in your query. Though your query is very hypothetical, and I would say it seems more like an attention-seeking kind, your allegations against your company and the staff working there are highly unacceptable.

If what you have said is true, have you tried to find the reason? Why is it that these things are happening only to you? What steps have you taken on your personal front to deal with these matters (apart from involving the authorities)? Have you spoken to your colleagues, immediate seniors, or the management? Not everybody would react the same way.

You are questioning the fundamental objectives and foundations of MNCs, as well as the dignity of female employees as a whole. Stop doing it. Nobody pays you in an MNC for all these things. Respect people in your company as well as your company.

All the best.

This is a serious issue. If you are really facing such kinds of problems, you can take up this case to the police with clear evidence. This is a kind of 'ragging'. This should not be allowed to continue.

Regards,
Raju

Dear Abhay,

The same situation I faced in two companies. I have worked at three companies. So far, I have changed two companies because of sexual harassment by office colleagues. I was unable to work freely as the girls were sitting near my system, speaking bad, indirect words, and engaging in sexual inducement. They wouldn't answer me properly on official matters. I suffered a lot and fell into anxiety by hearing and listening to their worst behavior. No one supported me. Everybody was involved in this bad activity, including higher officials.

Yes, you are correct, Abhay. Why should we go to the office to engage in nasty things? Men and women should not come to the workplace to participate in sexual activities. Those engaging in sexual activities in the office should go and engage in such activities in prostitution areas. They can earn a lot more money compared to the software industries. Workplaces are temples that provide a safe environment for you. Companies involved in sexual activities will definitely face consequences. They are earning only through prostitution, not in an honest way. They have no conscience. People engaged in sexual activities are even cheaper than dogs. Only an animal can behave in this manner, not a human being. It is shameful that such incidents happen in our country.

Abhay, I support you. Don't be bothered. You are a good human being and understand real life well. Don't get tense. No tears, please. My humble advice is to get married to a good girl and lead a genuine life. Join an industry that is not involved in sexual harassment by seeking recommendations from friends and relatives or start a business. Take care. Bye.

Regards, Jmurugan.

Dear Abhay, I have worked in a very liberal environment company, but your assertion beats me—unacceptable. I have never seen this nor heard about this. Being from HR, I should have known. So just relax and get on with your professional life. Of course, if you have actually experienced what you claim you did, then there is always a redressal mechanism in each company, particularly in an MNC company. Why did you not report it to them? I am sorry; I am unable to digest it.

Regards,
Neeraj

Many have expressed their viewpoints. Of course, the matter is a serious issue. But the remedy is not with the forum members as it concerns individuals' likes, dislikes, work environment, ethics, etc. We could only discuss the matter here. Instances on the impression that it might have happened. Let us not go into a personal level and better refrain from accusing for what has been said. Instead, let us discuss the issue only.

Regards,
Kumar S.
BG.

Dear Abhay, I feel either your interpretation of situations is wrong, or you must be a very attractive man, the most eligible bachelor in your company's office. For your information, no company promotes any such activity in their offices. Please re-analyze the situations; wrong interpretations might cause you problems.

Regards,
Suneet