Hi,
My previous manager has given negative feedback to my current employer regarding my behavior. I sometimes used to masturbate during weekends at home and occasionally suffered from nightfall during weekdays. As a result, my body would have a light smell, but he deemed it unprofessional.
Now, I am married, and my wife expects intimacy every weekend as we do not have kids yet. However, due to the previous manager's feedback and the slight odor from my body after physical intimacy on weekends, which lingers for the next 2 or 3 days, my manager is questioning my behavior and professionalism.
I am unable to openly discuss this with the manager due to privacy concerns, but I am also struggling to find a solution to this issue. I have consulted with doctors, and they all say it is a natural process and advise letting it occur without trying to suppress it, as there is no harm caused by the body's mechanisms or for any other reason.
How should I handle this situation?
From India, Mumbai
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My previous manager has given negative feedback to my current employer regarding my behavior. I sometimes used to masturbate during weekends at home and occasionally suffered from nightfall during weekdays. As a result, my body would have a light smell, but he deemed it unprofessional.
Now, I am married, and my wife expects intimacy every weekend as we do not have kids yet. However, due to the previous manager's feedback and the slight odor from my body after physical intimacy on weekends, which lingers for the next 2 or 3 days, my manager is questioning my behavior and professionalism.
I am unable to openly discuss this with the manager due to privacy concerns, but I am also struggling to find a solution to this issue. I have consulted with doctors, and they all say it is a natural process and advise letting it occur without trying to suppress it, as there is no harm caused by the body's mechanisms or for any other reason.
How should I handle this situation?
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
Personal Hygiene:
Ensure that you maintain good personal hygiene, especially during work hours. Regular showers, using deodorant, and clean clothing can help address any concerns about body odor.
Addressing Feedback:
If possible, without violating your privacy, address the feedback indirectly. You might express to your manager that you've taken feedback seriously and have made efforts to improve your overall professionalism, without going into explicit details.
Communication with Manager:
Consider having a professional conversation with your manager about your commitment to your job and addressing any specific concerns they may have. You don't need to disclose personal details, but you can emphasize your dedication to maintaining a professional image at work.
Medical Advice:
If you have consulted with doctors who confirm that your health practices are normal and not harmful, consider obtaining a medical note or statement to share with your manager. This could help provide reassurance about the nature of the situation.
Work-Life Balance:
If your manager is concerned about your overall professionalism, emphasize your commitment to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Mention that you have made adjustments to ensure your personal life does not interfere with your work responsibilities.
Thanks
From India, Bangalore
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201Personal Hygiene:
Ensure that you maintain good personal hygiene, especially during work hours. Regular showers, using deodorant, and clean clothing can help address any concerns about body odor.
Addressing Feedback:
If possible, without violating your privacy, address the feedback indirectly. You might express to your manager that you've taken feedback seriously and have made efforts to improve your overall professionalism, without going into explicit details.
Communication with Manager:
Consider having a professional conversation with your manager about your commitment to your job and addressing any specific concerns they may have. You don't need to disclose personal details, but you can emphasize your dedication to maintaining a professional image at work.
Medical Advice:
If you have consulted with doctors who confirm that your health practices are normal and not harmful, consider obtaining a medical note or statement to share with your manager. This could help provide reassurance about the nature of the situation.
Work-Life Balance:
If your manager is concerned about your overall professionalism, emphasize your commitment to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Mention that you have made adjustments to ensure your personal life does not interfere with your work responsibilities.
Thanks
From India, Bangalore
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Hi,
Your reason for body odor seems not right. Consult a good dermatologist to diagnose the actual cause. It might be due to excess sweating as well. Check your soap and consider bathing twice daily.
From India, Madras
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Your reason for body odor seems not right. Consult a good dermatologist to diagnose the actual cause. It might be due to excess sweating as well. Check your soap and consider bathing twice daily.
From India, Madras
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Dear member,
Your query is baffling to most. Apart from the bafflement of the post, it is too embarrassing to reply to. Nevertheless, I find a logical inconsistency in your post.
This is the second employment in which your manager has complained about the malodor emanating from your body. Yes, their objections are valid because it is difficult to put up with a colleague whose body stinks! Their irritation is understandable.
However, if the body is malodorous in the office, then it should be the same at home. How come your family members have not brought this fact to your notice? What about you? How do you tolerate the offensive smell of your body?
What about your better half? Why has she not suggested any corrective measures? Generally, Indian women are more characterized by method and orderliness. Your problem exceeds the imagination of the average person, yet your wife has not attempted to rectify the anomaly. There seems to be more than meets the eye.
You have mentioned the causes of the bad smell from your body. However, it seems the causes you mentioned are more for refutation than for corrective action. Blaming your previous manager for informing the current manager about the bad body smell does not address the issue. In your current employment, are you not confirming this feedback? Can the situation be changed by blaming others or avoiding self-examination?
People come to this forum seeking solutions. Mr. VM Lakshminarayanan, a senior member of this forum, has provided a solution. I suggest you explore further. Research online about maintaining personal hygiene and sanitation. List the points and determine which ones merit implementation with extreme conscientiousness. Some people sweat more than others; if you belong to this category, removing body hair may be necessary.
The situation is dire and could impact your employment. It is crucial for you to address it promptly.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Your query is baffling to most. Apart from the bafflement of the post, it is too embarrassing to reply to. Nevertheless, I find a logical inconsistency in your post.
This is the second employment in which your manager has complained about the malodor emanating from your body. Yes, their objections are valid because it is difficult to put up with a colleague whose body stinks! Their irritation is understandable.
However, if the body is malodorous in the office, then it should be the same at home. How come your family members have not brought this fact to your notice? What about you? How do you tolerate the offensive smell of your body?
What about your better half? Why has she not suggested any corrective measures? Generally, Indian women are more characterized by method and orderliness. Your problem exceeds the imagination of the average person, yet your wife has not attempted to rectify the anomaly. There seems to be more than meets the eye.
You have mentioned the causes of the bad smell from your body. However, it seems the causes you mentioned are more for refutation than for corrective action. Blaming your previous manager for informing the current manager about the bad body smell does not address the issue. In your current employment, are you not confirming this feedback? Can the situation be changed by blaming others or avoiding self-examination?
People come to this forum seeking solutions. Mr. VM Lakshminarayanan, a senior member of this forum, has provided a solution. I suggest you explore further. Research online about maintaining personal hygiene and sanitation. List the points and determine which ones merit implementation with extreme conscientiousness. Some people sweat more than others; if you belong to this category, removing body hair may be necessary.
The situation is dire and could impact your employment. It is crucial for you to address it promptly.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Get some good dermatological soap and have a good shower every single day. On days when you have sex, then you need to shower more carefully and ensure you thoroughly clean every part of your body, especially your private parts.
Secondly, ensure your clothes are spotlessly clean and laundered daily. Use good quality deodorant.
It is very likely that this problem emanates from laziness and a lack of attention to basic hygiene practices. Deal with that, then review the situation. If the problem persists, then you need to seek professional help, and that means a medical specialist, not just a doctor in general practice.
Failure to tackle this problem head-on could end up being fatal for your career.
From Australia, Melbourne
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Secondly, ensure your clothes are spotlessly clean and laundered daily. Use good quality deodorant.
It is very likely that this problem emanates from laziness and a lack of attention to basic hygiene practices. Deal with that, then review the situation. If the problem persists, then you need to seek professional help, and that means a medical specialist, not just a doctor in general practice.
Failure to tackle this problem head-on could end up being fatal for your career.
From Australia, Melbourne
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Hi Dinesh Divekar,
My post should not be handled considering sex and masturbation as taboo. If you are already married, you might already know about the smell that I am talking about (a mix of Nitric oxide, ammonia, bleach, or chlorine).
The smell can be due to sexual arousal or morning wood, which no one has control over resulting in precum (which is different from semen).
Also, when someone ejaculates, the body expels remaining semen from the vas deferens during the course of the following 2 or 3 days, which is completely a normal process.
Some people do have an excessive uncontrolled urge for ejaculation. How and why should they suppress it?
Everyone has to do something for a living, and just because someone struggles with maintaining body odor on a regular basis, should stringent policies jeopardize someone's career?
Hygiene and smell are completely different; not necessarily is bad smell always unhygienic.
Companies always boast about contributing to environmental issues, social welfare, etc. Then why are companies so dogmatic on HR policies for stringent professionalism jeopardizing someone's career, leading to daily mental pressure affecting the right to privacy?
I think OMG2 is a better watch!!
From India, Mumbai
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My post should not be handled considering sex and masturbation as taboo. If you are already married, you might already know about the smell that I am talking about (a mix of Nitric oxide, ammonia, bleach, or chlorine).
The smell can be due to sexual arousal or morning wood, which no one has control over resulting in precum (which is different from semen).
Also, when someone ejaculates, the body expels remaining semen from the vas deferens during the course of the following 2 or 3 days, which is completely a normal process.
Some people do have an excessive uncontrolled urge for ejaculation. How and why should they suppress it?
Everyone has to do something for a living, and just because someone struggles with maintaining body odor on a regular basis, should stringent policies jeopardize someone's career?
Hygiene and smell are completely different; not necessarily is bad smell always unhygienic.
Companies always boast about contributing to environmental issues, social welfare, etc. Then why are companies so dogmatic on HR policies for stringent professionalism jeopardizing someone's career, leading to daily mental pressure affecting the right to privacy?
I think OMG2 is a better watch!!
From India, Mumbai
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Dear member,
It appears that your problem is unique and beyond the realm of the understanding of the common person. Infusing your post with technical details, you have come up with your defense. Nevertheless, your second post did not answer some of the questions asked in my post.
Defending one's position on a public forum like Citehr has no enduring value. This is a matter between you and your company. We members of this forum are a third party. We have limitations in interpreting the situation. Nevertheless, your body odor is impinging on your employment. Whether to continue to defend your position and forego a second job or to take corrective measures and protect employment is your call. We the members cannot undo the situation!
The only recommendation I can give is to consult a psychotherapist.
All the best!
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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It appears that your problem is unique and beyond the realm of the understanding of the common person. Infusing your post with technical details, you have come up with your defense. Nevertheless, your second post did not answer some of the questions asked in my post.
Defending one's position on a public forum like Citehr has no enduring value. This is a matter between you and your company. We members of this forum are a third party. We have limitations in interpreting the situation. Nevertheless, your body odor is impinging on your employment. Whether to continue to defend your position and forego a second job or to take corrective measures and protect employment is your call. We the members cannot undo the situation!
The only recommendation I can give is to consult a psychotherapist.
All the best!
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Anonymous,
We have gone as far as we can go with this discussion. As a Moderator, I was very tempted to delete it from the get-go as it is not appropriate in this forum. This topic has nothing to do with HR per se. In addition, there is no suggestion that discussion of sexual activity is taboo, BUT IT IS NOT a topic for discussion here. This is a professional HR forum for the discussion of HR problems and questions. If you must, take it to Reddit or other such places where anything goes.
You have resorted to scientific mumbo-jumbo to try and justify your position when the prima facie evidence points to a lack of personal hygiene, an issue which you appear to be unwilling to address. You also appear to be fighting for some sort of principle which could jeopardize your job. As my colleague Dinesh has pointed out, this is a matter for you alone to resolve.
If two managers have counseled you on this matter, then the ball is now in your court to fix it. It appears likely that both managers may have acted due to complaints regarding your personal hygiene from your current and former work colleagues who may have felt uncomfortable being in close proximity to you.
Your justifications are fallacious and untenable, so stop wasting time trying to convince us. If they were credible, most men would probably have the same problems, but we DO NOT.
Get off the internet and go start dealing with your problem NOW.
From Australia, Melbourne
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We have gone as far as we can go with this discussion. As a Moderator, I was very tempted to delete it from the get-go as it is not appropriate in this forum. This topic has nothing to do with HR per se. In addition, there is no suggestion that discussion of sexual activity is taboo, BUT IT IS NOT a topic for discussion here. This is a professional HR forum for the discussion of HR problems and questions. If you must, take it to Reddit or other such places where anything goes.
You have resorted to scientific mumbo-jumbo to try and justify your position when the prima facie evidence points to a lack of personal hygiene, an issue which you appear to be unwilling to address. You also appear to be fighting for some sort of principle which could jeopardize your job. As my colleague Dinesh has pointed out, this is a matter for you alone to resolve.
If two managers have counseled you on this matter, then the ball is now in your court to fix it. It appears likely that both managers may have acted due to complaints regarding your personal hygiene from your current and former work colleagues who may have felt uncomfortable being in close proximity to you.
Your justifications are fallacious and untenable, so stop wasting time trying to convince us. If they were credible, most men would probably have the same problems, but we DO NOT.
Get off the internet and go start dealing with your problem NOW.
From Australia, Melbourne
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Hi Aussiejohn,
Even though it might appear as prima facie evidence of an unhygienic condition, I have a few points to point out.
Colleagues were seated next to me for years, and they had no issues. Even though the smell used to be subtle, it never caused others not to sit beside or around me. Otherwise, colleagues would have raised this with my manager beforehand, and at least I would have been made aware or given warnings from my manager.
It was only when I raised concerns with HR about being bullied by these colleagues that they started making allegations about body odor. Don't you smell something fishy about office politics targeting someone with such minor issues?
I never went to the office without taking a bath, always dressed cleanly, and applied perfume. However, when I had a good time during weekends, my body would start emanating a subtle smell in the following 2-3 days, more so after urinating. Doctors performed all tests and confirmed it's completely normal and the smell is expected.
Now, the question is, will a subtle smell also lead to termination? Do I need to compromise my private life with my wife to avoid being perceived as smelly?
From India, Mumbai
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Even though it might appear as prima facie evidence of an unhygienic condition, I have a few points to point out.
Colleagues were seated next to me for years, and they had no issues. Even though the smell used to be subtle, it never caused others not to sit beside or around me. Otherwise, colleagues would have raised this with my manager beforehand, and at least I would have been made aware or given warnings from my manager.
It was only when I raised concerns with HR about being bullied by these colleagues that they started making allegations about body odor. Don't you smell something fishy about office politics targeting someone with such minor issues?
I never went to the office without taking a bath, always dressed cleanly, and applied perfume. However, when I had a good time during weekends, my body would start emanating a subtle smell in the following 2-3 days, more so after urinating. Doctors performed all tests and confirmed it's completely normal and the smell is expected.
Now, the question is, will a subtle smell also lead to termination? Do I need to compromise my private life with my wife to avoid being perceived as smelly?
From India, Mumbai
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Dear member,
Your posts are inconsistent and contradict one another. You have written three posts, and in each post, you have left loose threads and introduced new revelations. It seems that this saga will continue endlessly. Therefore, it is better to put a stop here.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Your posts are inconsistent and contradict one another. You have written three posts, and in each post, you have left loose threads and introduced new revelations. It seems that this saga will continue endlessly. Therefore, it is better to put a stop here.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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