I've been working as HR for almost 6 months but still my co-workers do not respect me and treated me as a lower rank file. The reasons are the following:
1. i'm too kind with them
2. i don't know how to reason out
3. lack of information
4. maximization of waste
5. do not know how to handle a situation
what should are the things I need to improve?

From Philippines, undefined
Dinesh Divekar
Business Mentor, Consultant And Trainer
Gopinath Varahamurthi
Mindhour Partner, Ass.professor/adm. Officer,
Senior Manager Projects - Motherson Techno
Assistant Manager - Accounts/legal
+1 Other

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Dinesh Divekar

Dear Jeany,
While you have described the situation in which you are in, you have not mentioned your designation, nature of your industry, whom you report to, your qualification etc. You have identified your weaknesses for the situation that is prevailing in your company. But then what about your strengths? While overcoming shortcomings, you need to encash on your strengths as well. Anyway, suggestions on overcoming your shortcomings are as below:
1. i'm too kind with them
Reply: - Don't be unwantedly kind or strict. Where to do stringent enforcement is a subjective decision and it has to be taken on case to case basis. In the meanwhile, master assertion skills. Always check whether you are just to people as well as with organisation. Your kindness should not come at expense of organisation's loss. Interests of the organisation are always supreme. Strive for them.
2. i don't know how to reason out
Reply: - The definition of reasoning out is "to determine or conclude something by logical thinking". Therefore, whenever, you speak or write, try to give adequate reference of case studies, laws, acts and so on. Do not talk anything without evidence. In your communication, check whether you have used correct definitions, terminology etc.
3. lack of information
Reply: - Improve your subject awareness. Preparedness is key to success. Therefore, invest your time in preparation. Secondly, whenever you commit some mistake, record what happened and why it happened. Go and talk to subject matter experts and have discussion on professional matters.
4. maximization of waste
Reply: - Curtail wastefulness. Find out what technological tools that you can use to improve the productivity. Start measuring the turnaround time of the various processes. Develop analytical skills in order to optimise the resources.
5. do not know how to handle a situation
Reply: - [i]Learn principles of communication. Also learn negotiations skills, conflict handling skills and so on. Start implementing these skills. Record your observations as to what did you do well and what needs improvement.
Final comments: - Is there any scope to get mentored by a good mentor. Take feedback from the mentor and start working on the feedback. Believe on yourself. Key to self-transformation is in your hand. Anything and everything happens with self-belief. Success = self-belief + efforts in right direction.
Dinesh Divekar

From India, Bangalore
Thank you so much I will put this in my notebook as my reminder to improve and to be a better worker at the same time in myself
From Philippines, undefined

Dear Jeany,
I understand your situation.
You will get respect if you start working together your colleague on
1) Selected issue in which he is interested first.
2) Normally the colleagues will be busy in doing the things which they like, hence find out and ask or just ask whether he/she need any support in resolving the things or in improving the things.
3) Find out what good things he has done and give since appreciations.
4) Definitely he must be responsible for some activity, sit with him to support if he struggling or to review and praise him for good things.
I did all above and I did not face any issue when I was new to organization.

From India, Bengaluru
gopinath varahamurthi

Dear Friend,
The best thing in life is learning and knowing self, you are too good enough, know yourself.
SWOT ( Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threat ) are important, to the organisation, goal, your progress...
1) Take a note, better a diary, write the event periodically
2) wherever you are misguided write it in different colour, when ever you give right direction put it in another colour, when and where you are doing mistakes either consciously or unconsciously put it in pencil (to erase later)
3) written in pencil correct it, written in different colours take time to correct
4) Always at every night before going to bed have some time like a cow chew it and understand your progress and bring in good things
5) Never succumb to pressure, take your time even you are in the lowest rung life give more time for progress limited time or no time to get destroyed
6) Read more books related to industry/motivation/speeches ...
You will become a Pioneer....
Best of Luck ....

From India, Arcot
Dear Zian,
Anyone who know his/her weakness, may be a legend to convert his/her weakness to strength.
Kindly follow the guidelines of our mentors.
Best of Luck
Respected Mentors
Thanks a lot for your posts.


Respect, that is what all of us strive for.. But the funny thing with respect is that it doesn’t come attached with any designation, post or position. It must be earned.
If you look up a dictionary, “Respect” means “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements”.
If you notice, another thing about the definition, you will realize that ability, qualities and achievements in your profession are built on the foundation called “Knowledge”. In my view, the lack of knowledge is one of the basic reasons for this despairing feeling of inadequacy.
BUT, merely having “Knowledge” is not sufficient, you must LEARN TO APPLY THAT KNOWLEDGE to practical situations thereby developing your “ABILITIES”, Successful application of your abilities gives you “Achievements” and a combination of both gives you “professional qualities” that others look up to. In case you are unsuccessful in applying your abilities, do not despair, it will just improve your “KNOWLEDGE” and refine your “ABILITIES”.
Then there is the aspect of “Personal Qualities”; are you trustworthy, are you reliable, are you a gossip-monger, how do you conduct yourself, how you dress, your etiquettes, how you talk, and so many more qualities…
Gaining knowledge is a lifelong process, and developing the “Abilities”, “Qualities” and “Achievement” needs constant updates to your knowledge base and lots of hard work, persistence and dedication.
One can begin with self-awareness, for which SWOT Analysis as Mr. Gopinath Varahamurthi has already brought out, is a very useful tool. Self SWOT Analysis is easier said than done, one must be dispassionate about it and have courage to do it, because it can be quote revealing about oneself. But if you do it successfully, you get a clear-cut idea about how to channelize your efforts towards becoming a better professional.
(A word of caution about gaining KNOWLEDGE: With free “data” available on the world wide web, including this forum and many like this, the habit of reading reference books, professional publications etc have completely vanished… notwithstanding all this free advice and guidance, as Mr. Dinesh Divekar very rightly brought out in his reply - always, always, always go back to the books, the bare acts, the case laws, read & re-read the original stuff…)
All the best..

From India, Kochi

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