Hi, Good morning! This is Samia.
I'm a victim of a bad boss. He has an ego problem. He wants all of his employees to say, "Boss is always right," but I do not agree with that. Instead, I believe that "Time is always right." For the last three years, he has not given me any increments. He always tries to find faults with my work, and if he doesn't find any, he creates traps for me. I am unsure how to handle this situation. I want to change departments, but he does not approve. He wants me to continue working under him. I need help.
From Bangladesh
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I'm a victim of a bad boss. He has an ego problem. He wants all of his employees to say, "Boss is always right," but I do not agree with that. Instead, I believe that "Time is always right." For the last three years, he has not given me any increments. He always tries to find faults with my work, and if he doesn't find any, he creates traps for me. I am unsure how to handle this situation. I want to change departments, but he does not approve. He wants me to continue working under him. I need help.
From Bangladesh
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Why you have not chaged the organization in last 3 years without any increment? Any special reason to stay in same job despited disrespectful treatment?
From India, Pune
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470From India, Pune
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Dear Samia,
If I understand you correctly, you have already mapped the behavioral pattern of your boss. You are already in far better control than you think you are. You know the signs when he is about to find faults, acknowledge his points. Nothing better will work than helping him restore his point. Bullies take years to be as bad as they are, so give yourself that many years to deal with them.
See it as a game; each time he tries his way, let him win and appreciate his effort to correct and build you. Acknowledge and give him credit for his words, for what works for you. Be patient with yourself. This is an entirely new zone for you. Learn the rules and play by them.
There are no brownie points for you, but the fact that you will learn to handle him until you are in this job is your award. Once you master it, there can be no one who can shake you up this bad. Bullies want to see us suffer. When you appreciate him, you are changing the feeling towards a better one.
Detach your thoughts from his words and see it as objectively as you can. Rather challenge yourself to stretch your limits. Understand this is your course for Emotional Intelligence and nothing more. However, each time you stretch, reward yourself with something that you like, such as a mini trip to a nearby place that makes you happy or even your favorite song :)
My thoughts are from my experience; hence they might not make much sense to you. However, if you help me think along, I might be able to help better. Thank you for sharing your situation with us. We are certain you will solve it no sooner!
From India, Mumbai
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If I understand you correctly, you have already mapped the behavioral pattern of your boss. You are already in far better control than you think you are. You know the signs when he is about to find faults, acknowledge his points. Nothing better will work than helping him restore his point. Bullies take years to be as bad as they are, so give yourself that many years to deal with them.
See it as a game; each time he tries his way, let him win and appreciate his effort to correct and build you. Acknowledge and give him credit for his words, for what works for you. Be patient with yourself. This is an entirely new zone for you. Learn the rules and play by them.
There are no brownie points for you, but the fact that you will learn to handle him until you are in this job is your award. Once you master it, there can be no one who can shake you up this bad. Bullies want to see us suffer. When you appreciate him, you are changing the feeling towards a better one.
Detach your thoughts from his words and see it as objectively as you can. Rather challenge yourself to stretch your limits. Understand this is your course for Emotional Intelligence and nothing more. However, each time you stretch, reward yourself with something that you like, such as a mini trip to a nearby place that makes you happy or even your favorite song :)
My thoughts are from my experience; hence they might not make much sense to you. However, if you help me think along, I might be able to help better. Thank you for sharing your situation with us. We are certain you will solve it no sooner!
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Samia,
Ms. (Cite Contribution) has given you very good ideas on how to handle your egotistical boss. Additionally, I would like to add one more suggestion.
Always praise your boss for his deeds in a positive way in front of his informer, who will be available in your office. By doing so, the informer will likely share positive feedback with your boss.
Moreover, it's important not to display any facial expressions regarding the situations. Even if your boss scolds you, exit his office with a smile, make the necessary corrections, and resubmit the work. Conceal your emotions from others through your facial expressions to keep the informers in a state of confusion.
Always store important data separately and maintain a personal copy on a pen drive or a plain CD on a weekly basis. This way, if your colleagues tamper with the data, you can recover it without significant loss.
These straightforward steps are what I follow in my office to protect myself. I wish you all the best.
From India, Kumbakonam
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Ms. (Cite Contribution) has given you very good ideas on how to handle your egotistical boss. Additionally, I would like to add one more suggestion.
Always praise your boss for his deeds in a positive way in front of his informer, who will be available in your office. By doing so, the informer will likely share positive feedback with your boss.
Moreover, it's important not to display any facial expressions regarding the situations. Even if your boss scolds you, exit his office with a smile, make the necessary corrections, and resubmit the work. Conceal your emotions from others through your facial expressions to keep the informers in a state of confusion.
Always store important data separately and maintain a personal copy on a pen drive or a plain CD on a weekly basis. This way, if your colleagues tamper with the data, you can recover it without significant loss.
These straightforward steps are what I follow in my office to protect myself. I wish you all the best.
From India, Kumbakonam
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Someone says, "Never wrestle with a pig, as you both get dirty, and the pig likes it." If you are facing pressure from your boss, congratulations! This means you are excelling in your job, and he appreciates it. He is trying to show that he recognizes your efforts by guiding you.
It's essential to ignore such individuals and focus on your work. Eventually, the pressure will dissipate, and you will bask in the light of success.
Best of luck.
Regards,
Rahul
From India, Pune
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It's essential to ignore such individuals and focus on your work. Eventually, the pressure will dissipate, and you will bask in the light of success.
Best of luck.
Regards,
Rahul
From India, Pune
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I have gone through your query regarding the Boss. I must say that "A boss need not always be right." But, please bear in mind that "A boss is always a boss." More experience and situations will make you perfect to understand the above.
With Best Wishes,
P. Radhakrishnan
From India, Aizawl
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With Best Wishes,
P. Radhakrishnan
From India, Aizawl
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Please don't mind; you have hit the hammer on your own leg. Here, I feel (may be wrong) that you are more egoistic than your boss. If he says that bosses are always right, let him/her think that way - what hampers you? As rightly said by Ms. (Cite Contribution), acknowledge and give him credit for his words, for what works for you. Instead, you have lost your 3 years' increment just to satisfy your ego rather than his. I am sorry if by any means it has hurt you.
From India, Ahmadabad
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From India, Ahmadabad
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We hear one side of the story. Who knows if you are right or if your boss is right? Your boss must be more experienced than you, and if your company management supports your boss, it means there is something good about him for the growth of the company. Can you provide any specific instances where you were right and your boss was wrong?
Pon
From India, Lucknow
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Pon
From India, Lucknow
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Hello Samia,
Others have given good suggestions. Hence, I will raise some questions. Why do you say "Time is always right"? Time is right for what? What's wrong in giving the "Devil (Egoistic boss) its due"? Like Vadodara says, it's our own ego that causes problems at times.
From United Kingdom
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Others have given good suggestions. Hence, I will raise some questions. Why do you say "Time is always right"? Time is right for what? What's wrong in giving the "Devil (Egoistic boss) its due"? Like Vadodara says, it's our own ego that causes problems at times.
From United Kingdom
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