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Thread Started by #mdaslam49

Dear all,
Need your advice for my situation,
I am working in company as an HR Manager for last five months, by Nature I am not a very strict man and I can not be serious all the time. I always maintain jolly mood, joking with employees and take situation lightly.
Slowly I started realizing that people may not take me serous if I continue to be like how I am.
Please advice me should I change my attitude towards them or shall I continue the way I am.
How an Ideal HR Manager should behave?
Cool, Calm or agressive and serious
24th April 2012 From Kuwait, Kuwait
No need to change ur attitude. Behave seriousness at work & after completion of the behave like a friend but before u need conduct a meeting regarding this.
24th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
Be Dynamic.Act according to situation and go according to people :)
Remember that Employees as well as Management will have loads of hope on you.
Be what you are, while justifying your role.Leadership styles might be different , but being a leader matters.
24th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
A very good question by you MDASLAM49 and I would like to offer my thanks to you for raising this question which an important question for all of us here too

Well, what I understand is that an HR Manager needs to be STRATEGIC.

We daily speaks about Skills need to be required/ developed to be a good HR Manager and lot more but hardly people speak over Attitude, Behaviour/ interpersonal skills of an HR Manager which are really important thing and matters a lot. What I believe is to be a good or idealistic HR Manager one must have Magnetic Confidence, Good Interpersonal Communication Skills, Leadership and Presentation skills, Motivator/Philosopher and a good Learner along with a relevant experience. HR department/personnel are only who communicates with every department/employee working under premises of an organization and therefore it is really important for one to know when, how, to whom and what to speak and react on which and why.

HRD creates good resources to work with and maintain it by many ways to attained Organization objectives that we all know and these situation demands one to act/play an important role for Organization/Department accordingly, therefore, I believe to be a good and idealistic HR Manager one needs to be STRATEGIC.
24th April 2012 From India, Gurgaon
Dear Mr. Aroora, It is a great help, am very much thank full to you. The only thing i believe i am lacking is emplyee relation, can you give some idea to handle the employee relation. Aslam
24th April 2012 From Kuwait, Kuwait
Being jolly is a wonderful thing. At the same time, you need to be firm in given situations. The firmness is conveyed by your Body Language like eye contact, facial expressions and the tone of your voice.
Are you worried that people will not take me serious or the process has already started. If it is just fear, gives yourself more time before reacting.
If already people started taking you light and it is affecting your workmanship, then develop this dual expressions fast. As long as performance is not hampered, you need not worry.
24th April 2012 From India, Mumbai
It is not always possible to be in a serious mood,But I feel HR people need to draw a certain line between employees and themselves.Since They are the persons who deal with people in diffrent situations,Many a times HR become scapae goat between management and employees.So we have to behave in such a way that employees should trust us as well as they should not take us for granted.An ideal HR should know where to get serious ,where to be calm and quite and where to be aggresive.
(This is my personal opinion)
Sukhada Sant
24th April 2012 From India, Pune
Dear Aslam,
No need to change your nature for anyone :)
Coz you are having a gud nature of making others happy. But for a HR, they need to be little bit :) firm... If its not possible for you, dont worry. Keep quiet in those situations. Being non reactive in situations make people realize that we are expecting them to do work. I tried it and got succeeded. please try this Strategy
25th April 2012 From India
Dear Profesionals
May you please help me regarding information on how to teach Supervisors or foreman’s to do weekly schedules of their activies starting from Monday to Friday. Is needed by management for control. If can have Template to work on and some facts of why is so important to have it in any organisation.
kind regards
25th April 2012 From South Africa, Pretoria
Dear friend

I hope the suggestions given by the seniors is quite holds good. It is nothing wrong for HR Managers to be mingled with staff members and colleagues freely, but at the same time, the HR Managers should maintain official decency and decorum to maintain strict discipline of the staff members. In regard to the official business and transactions, the HR Managers should maintain strict observation, watch the work of the subordinates to complete the targeted work. Able supervision and firm decision making is necessary for smooth functioning of the HR Department. As a Manager of the Department, you have your own goals and objectives, and you have to fulfill certain norms to avoid dislocation of work.

If people are not recognizing you as serious, it is your loop-hole given to your staff members. You, being HR Manager, must maintain some standards and systematic discipline to show the dignity of the position and as well as you can extract work from others by means of your joyful interaction and involvement.
25th April 2012 From Canada, Calgary
Hello Everyone! Greetings for the Day! I am very happy to see theses kind of postings bcoz it will be helpful to all of us. Regards, Saichand
25th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
Hi Aslam,
As a HR being jolly with employees is not at all a problem. Most of the employees have fear / afraid to approach Admin/HR persons.
But it is your basic duty to maintain distance with them, this will retain your imagine & weakness will not be known to others.
Avoid discussing personal problems / official issues / gossip about others with employees.
25th April 2012 From India, Karur
From your question I gather your organisation does not have a competency frame work in place. This would provide a good indication of the behavior / competencies expected in each function.
Being jolly, smiling and joking can be considered as "People Friendly" as long as you address the task on hand, and not put it off with a joke always.
You cannot & perhaps should not change your behavior just to satisfy few people who feel something is not proper.
I suggest you focus on
a. HR Skills - are you the best HR in your firm and do people feel confident approaching you. This would include your recruitment, policy making, appraisal, training skills, etc.
b. Level of maturity - as visible through your behavior combined with Business knowledge. This is what does your company do and are you - the HR capable of supporting the business
c. Strategic thinking - based on your knowledge of business, HR and general wisdom
Hope this helps
25th April 2012 From India, Mumbai
Dear Mohd Assalam,
The typical HR manager is soft spoken but strict when it comes to his job responsibility. It is alright to be light hearted but your being so empathetic must not be taken as sympathy, Be cool but strict. I had seen 24 Hr managers and Deputy managers. They were all serious and they meant business. It is better to be that way but your being your business oriented should not leave room for your employees to make small talks. Any talk with your employee must be understood as a privillege given to them as the head of HR is talking to them cordially.
25th April 2012 From India, Madras
Dear Mohd Asslam,
It is alright to be cordial to the employees. but that must not be taken for your being free with their deviant manner. Every man has self respexct and your self respect should not be tarnished. Be strict but cool in your expressions, That will take care of your image.
25th April 2012 From India, Madras
Hi Aslam
You being in HR, you are dealing with human beings - first and foremost thing to remember.
You need to be jolly in mood, serious at times, strict to meet objectives of the moment, etc. as you are dealing with human beings (repeat). You meet them with their mood swings and they meet you with varieties of requirements, situations; here your maturity as well as wisdom are tested to face the situation and win over.
One has to act depends on the situation and need-of-the-hour. Hope I am correct
25th April 2012 From India, Pune
i feel u should go with Mr. Richard suggestion. its very important for hr manager to be friendly in nature b'coz then only employee will approach you for their problems n if the solution is not with u dont make commitments but surely do your best.
25th April 2012 From India, Delhi
Dear Mr.Aslam,
HR managers are peoples managers.Your nature as explained by you is an absolute fit to win the people.You must win the people and people will die for you.As professional I Understand that you may be getting few set back with your jolly nature and light heartedness, but educate people below you to learn that work is always accountable and therefore company policies, rules and regulations are handy to deal with people with adverse nature.Remember Manager are stratgic and Manager like you are magical.
26th April 2012 From India, Vadodara
Dear, HR Manager must have skills of dealing with people; need change with situation. He must be polite, firm in decision making,committent to goal, Regards Javed Akhatar
26th April 2012
Hi Members Cite HR Such type of information and suggestions are very good. These are helpful for all of us dealing with manpower thanks again and keep sharing
26th April 2012 From India, Delhi
Hi, Thank you all for sharing your valuable information and suggestion which motivate all the junior level people like me and how to react with the employee\'s.
26th April 2012 From India, Madras
Dear Arora,
The guidelines posted by you is really tooooooo good to comment on. This has actually helped me to self evaluate myself and also develop a lot more confidence in myself.
Great going !!!
Mou S K
26th April 2012 From India, Calcutta
HR Manager should have great interpersonal communication skills, truly cared about the employee and He/She should encourage the workers to do their best. Not by threats but through support.
26th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
Do your job properly. Stick to the policies. Keep good relations with everyone. Be jolly. Don’t get influenced by others in doing your job.
26th April 2012 From Bangladesh
Dear Mr.Mdaslam49

As you explained about yourself as follows in your words:

1. I am not very strict man

2. I can not be serious all the time

3. I always maintain Jolly mood

4. Joking with employees

5. Take situation lightly

Result of the above: People are not taking you serious. It is true and happening due to your above behaviour. Firstly you rough it out from your mind that people should be happy with you and you should always get appreciation from them, why dear you are a HR Manager and you have your own and important role in the company. Just imagine you are playing a role and you have to change accordingly. There is a need to balance your attitude according to situation to situation. Following are some tips :

1. Talk less

2. Stop Joking with employees

3. Come forwards to help their Professional & Personal life (if need)

4. Smile but not laugh

5. Maintain some distance without harm relationship

6. Behave like parents

7. Try, people should be happy through your professional approach not personal appearance or acting.

8. Your actions should be very sharp but tone should be very calm see or remember voice of Arun Govil in Ramanayan.

9. Get respect from employee through Bench Mark of your Department’s work quality and knowledge sharing

10. Don’t react with people immediately.

You try some tips mentioned above; I trust you will get out from the present situation.


Ajay Mehta

__________________________________________________ _______
26th April 2012 From India, New Delhi
Ajay Mehta's tips are very important to follow by every HR Manager. It is pertinent to note that some of the HR Managers behave very seriously with their employees, by following strict and stringent discipline and discharge their duties without even considering the human factors. People may afraid of them. It may also not good for the sake of employee. Neither too seriousness, nor too liberal mentality is not suitable for any HR Manager. In the light of what is required for organizational goals and objectives, HR Managers should deal with their employees amicably rather than dictatorial to do the things in better way. Taking into account the situations, and factors, HR Managers should maintain co-ordination, co-operation to the extent possible in such a way that it should hinder the freedom of the HR Manager.

HR Managers should cultivate their logic of dignity, decorum, and tackle the issues with most professional way without giving room for others to take their liberty into their hands, as otherwise, the HR Managers would become buffoons in the eyes of their subordinates. It may not be good either for personal or for professional activities.
26th April 2012 From Canada, Calgary
Verry Welll Said by Mr. Ajay Mehta & by all our Seniors,
you have to react & take decisions according to the situation..
In other words, "We have to be just like a Mirror"..reflect the image(ourself) as per the situation..
"Polite to Genuine Employees & Strict to Adverse"
Vital Subject for Juniors like us...
Really Appreciate..
26th April 2012 From India, Mumbai
dear friend
you handling the situation you have mention above i will suggest you that always approch a comtemperory theory.
work according to a situation. keeping a jolly nature is not bad.but you have to show a attitued like a authoried person.
26th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
Dear Sir,
I would like to suggest you that being an HR person, you need be strict so that people can take you seriously.otherwise, they will ignore you & will not respect you.I think you should adopt autocratic type of leadership rather than democratic.
HR Trainee

26th April 2012 From India, Delhi
H R means High Risk.
Handling machine is easy rather handling men.
So, apart from our HR “Job,” RECRUIT – RETAIN – RETAIN, one shall;
Be good; Not seems to be good,
Be flexible; Not seems to be flexible,
Be among; Never alone,
Be an adviser; Not a ruler,
Believe in Team; Be live in Team,
Handle with care n Caution
No hire and Fire Policy.
Maturity in brain; Purity in thoughts;
Clarity in actions, humanity in receiving
Guard the Three “T”s; Thoughts,
Tongue and Temper.
Trust n Respect
Good luck
26th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
Dear mdaslam49,
Well what I think being Friendly is not at all bad, till you have a line of control beyond which no employee is allowed , I mean that being an HR manager you need to observe people, talk to them, Interact with them because thats the only best way you can truely examine them and understand them in there real work environment but as said before you need to have a limit to every thing to keep it going well, you need to maintain balance in your work responsibilities requirements and social .
And yes acting according to the stituation is not only a mandatory skill of Hr professional but also key factor to succeed in this field, so always keep this in mind before you react and whenever you get confuse.
Hope I helped you to some extent.
26th April 2012 From Kuwait, Kuwait
Dear mdaslam49,
You should first make an impression amongst the team you are heading. I believe you should also practice calling them by their first name. Being jolly is a good thing, but then youneed to know where to draw the line between being personal and being professional. try it!!!!!! good luck
26th April 2012 From India, Pune
Agree with Mr. Ajay, Mr. Richard and other people. Their responses are really appreciable and would like to offer my sincere thanks to all

In addition to this I would like to share something that there is no question about to have cool/calm, strict and friendly behavior at work or deal with others but to act according to situation demand and need of this respective profession HUMAN RESOURCE. Because anyone who is not related to Human Resource, can also have the same body language to lead his/her department personnel but is not gonna deal with every department personnel/employees. They have their own territory to work but for an HR Manager who has to work for all, have to maintain Organization culture, responsible for formation and implementation of rules & regulations for effective and systematic work for Organization along with the best cooperation and support, needs to be strategic.

For example:

A Manager for Accounts & Finance also needs to have a different body language to deal with his/her peers/subordinates, and the same is required by all other department people. Why an HR Manager required 'strategic' body language/behavior bcz this is the only department personnel who deals and works for with every department comes under any Organization.

Human Resource (HR) is not just HR but it is Human Resource Management which is responsible for how people are treated in organizations.

"An effective Management policy of the people at work".

“You being in HR, you are dealing with human beings - first and foremost thing to remember” said by Mr Suresh is appreciable and I wanna offer my thanks to him too
26th April 2012 From India, Gurgaon
Dear mdaslam49,

First let me congratulate you for the position you hold.

Guess what?? Your question will get never ending response as it’s a million dollar question for the one who is facing the situation and also to the experts who might have either experienced or seen similar personality in colleagues or X employees. As the question itself is so tempting that even I could not hold myself getting into the list. 

In general, corporate world is all about wearing a mask and hide your actual personality. Every one in the corporate world wants to meet the professional requirement which in turn may/will change their attitude, style of function, body language, behavior and so on…. as per the process needs to fulfill the role taken up. In the due course, some of them will even forget what they were prior getting into corporate world and what they are today. No fault of any one, its just Human tendency what I call it .

Now coming to the solution, your introduction says that you are an HR Manager and definitely you might have worked for several years to get into this position. Since people in all the levels have accepted you, today you are in this position. So, there is some spark in what you are already following and which has helped you through out the way till this stage. Hence, I would recommend you to continue the same with little bit of fine tuning here and there and make your way for further tenure. However, if your prior experience was in a different stream all together then I would say, you need to start wearing the mask as suggested by other.

Just think about it and take it further..

All the best


Making an attempt is the step towards Success and not attempting will lead to failure.
26th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
HR managers need to be the employee's point of contact to the top management to address concerns and set the company culture. They need to be approachable and non-biased enough to be able to suggest solutions to concerns. Being unduly serious does not help this - the employees need to look at the HR managers as their go to person. But on the other hand the HR manager should not encourage too much cribbing and should be a source for encouragement and motivation.
Ajay Mehta put it very well "You need to act as parents" - love your employees but also discipline them. When the employees trust you they will also take your advice on situations or concerns.
Create team players who are focused on the company goal.
26th April 2012 From India, Gurgaon
Hi, everybody we are into HR solutions Infact i had registered to this site to be in constant touch with HR managers and admin persons can any body help me in getting the contacts of HR managers of companies in india preferably in bangalore
26th April 2012 From India, Bangalore
Wonderful factors mentioned by Mr. Yagnaiah K which are required to be in mind by every HR Manager. I appreciate him for giving such a magnificent thoughts which are useful to all HR Managers.
Thanks a lot
27th April 2012 From Canada, Calgary
To my understanding a HR professional should be a situational leader who is able to react appropriately to certain situations. A HR manager should be more assertive and should not give room for employees to judge us.
27th April 2012 From India, Thrissur
HR should wear multiple hats. For some you may be the best, for some you may be not good, but that should not make you discriminate them in be what you are irrespective of what others think of you as long as your boss is happy to have you in his team and you are doing your job well.
That doesnot mean you should neglect your customers(employees). its a part of the job where in sometimes you may be considered very casual, easy going but that can be misunderstood of being not responsible....
27th April 2012 From India, Bangalore
I am working in company as an HR Manager for last five months, by Nature I am not a very strict man and I can not be serious all the time. I always maintain jolly mood, joking with employees and take situation lightly.
27th April 2012 From India, Lucknow
Employees should have faith that if any problem would be there you are with them to solve their issues but on the same hand they also feel that if we remain casual towards displine you are there to watch strictly.
There is nothing harm in mingling but at the same time you need to draw a line of the limit upto what you should be free with them.
27th April 2012 From India, Anand
My thoughts...
"taking situation lightly" as mentioned in your note is a BIG concern, considering your role that you have at your current organization.
You'll have to work on that, which is the toughest job for most of us. Saying "No" where it's required is important and also balancing personal & professional relationship. HR is custodian of lot of stuff, you'll have to ensure that all are following these appropriately.
Wish you all the best,
27th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
A HR manager must have multidimensional personlaity, having to tackle the each and every situation. He/She is supposed to play a very vital role in organisation as he/she is supposed to make a link between employees and management. You can not have static personaliy every time, and supposed to behave as per the need of oganisation, by which he will be able to get maximum utilisation of most important resource of any industry i.e. human resource.
28th April 2012 From India, New Delhi
Hello Seniors
My manager is Harsh and rude only with male employees at work place.
He usually use his power and authorities in a wrong way.Help me out to deal with his mis-behavior so that my job should be safe and other employees even should not suffer.
28th April 2012 From Netherlands
Dear Soofia,
if in similar way other colleagues are of the same opinion about the behavior of your manager then you all can speak and discuss the matter with his seniors. The seniors will consult and counsel your manager.
28th April 2012 From India, Mumbai
Hi Soofia, Pl. specifiy few instances, which will help us to understand and share you suggestions. Thx, Pradeep
28th April 2012 From India, Hyderabad
It's wonderful discussion we we are holding here. I felt it worth spending time reading the whole.....

Dear Mdaslam49,

I would like to look at this in three different personal approaches (This is absolutely my theory of approach):

1) Authority and responsibility

2)Personality and relationships

3) Psychology and consequences

All the three are very crucially and sensitively interlinked with each other and goes implicitly together. Being an HR Manager, the first approach to this is, Authority and responsibility, the main important reason why you are in the company. Here, holding this status, you are not a natural person but a body established to perform certain prescribed roles. Hence, you are HR Manager in the company, not Mr/Ms XYZ. Hence, you are expected to behave in the capacity of HR Manager - that means since you are not a natural person holding yourself the status and position of HR Manager (established person), you are not supposed to bring in your personal emotions which any day, anyway affect your work styles - like which may include partiality (though not materialistic and may not hinder others, but still...)

likes and dislikes (though not strong enough to make you love or hate, ignore or concentrate on some one...)

anger and exaggeration (which hinder your decision making abilities)

enjoyment and interdependency (affect your quality of work and moods of working)

attachments and detachments (affect your interests, performance and development)

speech (most important, affect confidentiality, matter of empathy, sincerity..) so on and so forth...


Personality and relations, here I completely speak about holding the personal, amicable and societal relationships,


Psychology and consequences, here comes the real problem!! Since, as we all know basic of psychology is same in all of us, but the psychological behavior is different from one to one almost entirely. So, what ever you are and how ever you are, the kind of behavioral impact of yours differ from one to one. Mental process : If I enjoy your behaviour I tend to like it, but my psychology says, why should I like it, I may enjoy it doesn't mean I should like it (ego), if he cracks jokes I laugh, every one laughs so I too do, when every one laughs every day, it has become routine, I no more observe the difference, hence I call it a liberation, (here you lose the grip on employer employee relation), now, being it routine and I have got some personal distraction too, hence I would like to call for a change or being relaxed, (person mixed with employee status), so let me take advantage of our kind HR manager, who is being liberal to us, who may probably understand my situation, and one takes your liberal attitude for granted, so the other starts, one by one, so when your attitude is taken for granted by all...!!, PSYCHOLOGY. Now the consequences, is that you are still a HR Manager, but employee has become no more employee but also a person, since you are responsible for triggering his emotional part of brain to react in a way that it started expecting more than usual and human tendency becoming more and more moody and expecting sensual enjoyments. CONSEQUENCES.

Hence, with the above explanations, it is clear that, First one has to be given the most importance to the core, second the average and third the least.

You are neither the employee's family nor friends to give a vice versa approach to my theory discussed above.

Hence, I would suggest you that you maintain a strict official relationship with the employees. Act like the Authoritative person. And utilize your behavioral gift during leisure, T&D times,and be jovial and build a good bond. In this way, you are triggering both kind of behaviors from the individuals, as employee as well as a person. This makes them feel you are the person who is more amicable, empathetical and understanding, at the same time strict when it comes to responsibilities and works to be done in the way it has to be done.......

When you want to have a discussion always try to keep it personal, between you and the employee, like if you want to warn, or try to improve your employee and figure out his problems affecting the work, never touch any one's emotions in front of others..!! Afterall, we are human, though employees...

Hope, you understand the implied suggestion behind my efforts.......

I also thank you, it's an opportunity to share my approaches...

All the very best
1st May 2012 From India, Bangalore
aslam, there are no good or bad things about personality. it is simply a continuum (refer to MBTI) next it is difficult to change if your are currently high on extraversion to being an introvert.
4th May 2012 From India, Delhi
He/She should be attentive with the employees and should be able to provide solutions for employee problems.Able to deal and interact with every employee and should cheer the employees with fruitful words
Shravan GLN
9th May 2012 From India, Bangalore
Good Question..... even i am feeling the same thing where i am workng currently as HR Generalist.... even i am a very friendly and jolly nature person... but soon after joining i realised, people have started taking me for granted.... so i switched to being firm.
11th October 2012 From India, Pune

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