Hi,
In Tamil Nadu, there is a well-known person by the name of Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self-financing colleges, who always speaks in English. The college students have collected and published a book by the name of "Jeppier's Spoken English."
Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Jeppier's Spoken English":
At the ground:
- All of you stand in a straight circle.
- There is no wind in the balloon.
- The girl with the mirror, please come here. (Means: girl with specs, please come here).
To a boy, angrily:
- I talk, he talks, why do you talk in between?
While punishing students:
- You, rotate the ground four times.
- You, go and understand the tree.
- You three stand together separately.
- Why are you late - say YES or NO?
While addressing students about Dress Code (he is very strict about this):
- Everybody should wear a dress to college.
- Boys, no problem.
- Girls are big problem. (big=proplum).
- Girls should wear only salwar, no nighties.
- Girls should not wear T-shirts, U-shirts, V-shirts... but if you want to wear them, remove it when inside the campus and put it outside the campus.
Sir at his best:
- Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."
Sir at his best inside the classroom:
- Open the windows' doors. Let the atmosphere come in.
- Open the windows' doors. Let the Air Force come in.
- Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
- Shhh... Quiet, boys... the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor.
- You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class).
- "Both of you three get out of the class."
Close the windows' doors, please. I have a cold today.
Take a copper wire of any metal, especially of silver.
Take a 5 cm wire of any length.
Last but not least, some Jeppier experiences...
Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais and said, "Sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons" (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama College Day 2002:
"This college strict you, no worry, you get good marks, I am happy, tomorrow you get a good job, I am happy, tomorrow you marry, I enjoy."
At St. Joseph's College of Engineering Freshers' Day 2003:
"No ragging in this college. Anybody who rags, we will call the police."
VERY IMPORTANT: Enjoy this English, but don't forget your English!
I request you to take this article sportingly and not seriously.
From India, Pune
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16In Tamil Nadu, there is a well-known person by the name of Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self-financing colleges, who always speaks in English. The college students have collected and published a book by the name of "Jeppier's Spoken English."
Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Jeppier's Spoken English":
At the ground:
- All of you stand in a straight circle.
- There is no wind in the balloon.
- The girl with the mirror, please come here. (Means: girl with specs, please come here).
To a boy, angrily:
- I talk, he talks, why do you talk in between?
While punishing students:
- You, rotate the ground four times.
- You, go and understand the tree.
- You three stand together separately.
- Why are you late - say YES or NO?
While addressing students about Dress Code (he is very strict about this):
- Everybody should wear a dress to college.
- Boys, no problem.
- Girls are big problem. (big=proplum).
- Girls should wear only salwar, no nighties.
- Girls should not wear T-shirts, U-shirts, V-shirts... but if you want to wear them, remove it when inside the campus and put it outside the campus.
Sir at his best:
- Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."
Sir at his best inside the classroom:
- Open the windows' doors. Let the atmosphere come in.
- Open the windows' doors. Let the Air Force come in.
- Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
- Shhh... Quiet, boys... the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor.
- You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class).
- "Both of you three get out of the class."
Close the windows' doors, please. I have a cold today.
Take a copper wire of any metal, especially of silver.
Take a 5 cm wire of any length.
Last but not least, some Jeppier experiences...
Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais and said, "Sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons" (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama College Day 2002:
"This college strict you, no worry, you get good marks, I am happy, tomorrow you get a good job, I am happy, tomorrow you marry, I enjoy."
At St. Joseph's College of Engineering Freshers' Day 2003:
"No ragging in this college. Anybody who rags, we will call the police."
VERY IMPORTANT: Enjoy this English, but don't forget your English!
I request you to take this article sportingly and not seriously.
From India, Pune
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How to Write English Sentences.doc
Spoken English E-Book.pdf