Please find below the essay written in high angrezi by a Bihari. You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a candidate at the UPSC (IAS) Examinations in India. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian Cow.
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also, she is four-footed, and because she is female, she gives milk (but will do so when she has a calf). She has four legs together. Two are forwards, and two are backwards. Her whole body can be utilized for various purposes, especially the milk. Milk comes from the four teats attached to her udder (horses don't have any such attachments). What can she do? Produce ghee, butter, cream, curd, whey, condensed milk, and so forth. She is also useful to cobblers, watermen, and mankind in general. Her movement is slow only because she belongs to a lazy species, and her other excretion, dung, is very useful for trees, plants, as well as for making flat cakes (like pizza), by hand, and drying in the sun. The cow is the only animal that regurgitates her food after eating. Then she chews with her teeth, which are located inside her mouth. She is constantly in the meadows grazing on grass. Her only means of offense and defense are her horns, especially when she has a calf. She lowers her head to level the horns to the ground and charges forward with great speed.
She also has a tail situated at the back, but it is not like that of other similar animals. It has a tuft of hair at the end to swat away flies that land on her body, upon which she strikes with it. The soles of her feet are soft to the touch, so the grass remains undamaged. At night, she lies down and rests, occasionally letting out a low moo. Her eyes and nose resemble those of her other relatives. This is the cow.
From Australia, Adelaide
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10Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also, she is four-footed, and because she is female, she gives milk (but will do so when she has a calf). She has four legs together. Two are forwards, and two are backwards. Her whole body can be utilized for various purposes, especially the milk. Milk comes from the four teats attached to her udder (horses don't have any such attachments). What can she do? Produce ghee, butter, cream, curd, whey, condensed milk, and so forth. She is also useful to cobblers, watermen, and mankind in general. Her movement is slow only because she belongs to a lazy species, and her other excretion, dung, is very useful for trees, plants, as well as for making flat cakes (like pizza), by hand, and drying in the sun. The cow is the only animal that regurgitates her food after eating. Then she chews with her teeth, which are located inside her mouth. She is constantly in the meadows grazing on grass. Her only means of offense and defense are her horns, especially when she has a calf. She lowers her head to level the horns to the ground and charges forward with great speed.
She also has a tail situated at the back, but it is not like that of other similar animals. It has a tuft of hair at the end to swat away flies that land on her body, upon which she strikes with it. The soles of her feet are soft to the touch, so the grass remains undamaged. At night, she lies down and rests, occasionally letting out a low moo. Her eyes and nose resemble those of her other relatives. This is the cow.
From Australia, Adelaide
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