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Human Resource And Industrial Relations
Kamadana Pradeep
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Human Resources Director
Handwriting Analysis, Employee Relations,
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Hr Professional
Hr Consultant

What to do with an employee who is lovestruck, and had been a great performer but now can't focus on his work?
I might have taken recource to giving him warnings. But, since he is behaving like a lovestruck teenager I don't know what to do with him.
The said employee has been an asset and has great potential.
We don't want to loose him.

From India, Nasik
So many options are open to handle this particular case.
1) If possible, counsel him to not to affect the productivity failing which action will be taken.
2) If possible, send him on oficial trip to other location for few days that is control mechanism.
3) If possible, transfer him to other location/dept as per his choice
4) If possible, make him comfort to early marraige with same girl
5) If possible, change the portfolio where he is right now.
6) If possible, promote him and put more responsiblity with time bound.
7) If possible, make team leader for any special project/task for which he will be responsible.
8) Last suggestion: If your abovementioned measures seems to be fail, immediate issue show cause notice for non-performance and afer hearing all, if still he is not improving his productivity, it is better to throw him keeping in mind of not to spoil the organisational environment.

From India, Bangalore
Hi Shyamali ,

Best way is to speak to him on the subject & tell him that irrespective of the fact that he is a asset to the company somehow it seems he will become a liabilty if he keep on not paying attention to his work. Firstly put in a simple friendly way if it doesn't works out than probably as a soft implicit warning but definitely . "Bring in his knowledge what he is doing , knowingly or unknowingly & how it is effecting others/work " & you have to be a little tactful in this telling him this ......... 8) probably at the lunch table or at a cup of coffee while rounding up the things & than slowly coming to the point ,obviously when you ppl are not accompanied by others ......

If its possible than you , the employee & the lady whom he is in love with, all three can sit & talk on the same (assuming that the female knows his feelings & responding )coz what i know that a man dont like to be tagged as non performing at work at least in the eyes of his love.... 8)

Thirdly if you can do it then give him a little time coz sometimes with the pace this fever goes up, stays there for a while , & then it comes down with the same pace. So he might take sometime but may come out of it

If all the above doesnt works out than better get strict, send him a showcause notice for the work which is not happening & still the sitaution worsens than better start looking out for a new "ASSET" & show him the door before he turns out LIABILTY



From India, Delhi
Hey Shyamali,
WOuld like to know whether the female is in the same office, department??
If yes, then probably counselling may work, but if she is not what Sidhu and Prashant mentioned can be taken into consideration.
It is very important for an HR person to get involved with the personal life of employee in these kinda cases, you should make him realise that his behaviour is hampering his growth in the organisation.
Hope it will work, do share with us what heppens next. :D

From India, Delhi
Additional suggn.
While talking to him/the girl,take the help some senior in the organisation who in your perception will be a good mentor/listener/high credibilty.
Having someone mature will be of immense help/
2.If your/senior cllgue's talk does not can try using professional counsellors io get involved guidehim/the girl/their families and of course yourgoodself

From India, Bangalore
Dear Shyamali
Try this immediately:
-1- Explain his behaviour (specific instances) to his Senior and obtain his/her views on this.
-2- Think it over. Take couple of days to discuss this issue again with Senior.
-3- Have meeting where the Person involved plus Senior Person is present and you take the Lead to explain the behaviour which needs to be modified.
-4- This is common problem in most of the organisations we work.
-5- Let me know the result of your sincere efforts to solve the issue.
-6- Good Luck
Coach and HR Consultant

Hi Shyamali,
In my view you should try to understand him before you take any decision. After all HR is about identifying human behaviour. And “Love” is a human need.
I think first you should give this employee some space and time without directly attacking his love life because he might get offended and have a negative impact about his superiors.
As suggested by many earlier give him a task with a deadline. Make sure he understands the importance of the task and how crucial it is to meet the deadline also he can be rewarded (monetary or non monetary) if he was able to achieve it.
Try not to show the employee that the company is getting involved in his personal life. Try to approach him work wise and if these fails then he might need a one-on-one session.

From Sri Lanka
Hello Everyone!
A very special thanks to everyone!(sid, prashant, ashra, govind, micokrish and Archana)
Dear Archana,
The said lady is not from our organisation.
The point is everything is falling on deaf ears. I have already tried what Sidhu has recommended, but it is not working.
He behaves like a lovestruck teenager who is lost in his own world, has turned into a recluse, has a smile on his face and wears a dreamy expression.
I really don't want to get rid of him because he is a star performer.

From India, Nasik
This is in line with your mention that the person is behaving like a teen. Well, typically teens are prone to a ill-peak kind of emotional out burst (it starts slow, grows exponentially high, reached its peak and sizzles down the same way it shoots up). If he be behaving so, then try and arrange a couple of meetings between this person and whoever he is in 'love' with. Interaction should settle things down very soon.
It completely depends on the age, and chemistry based on what (physical, mental, crush, infatuation etc) the person is in 'love' with, that determines the time taken for one to react.
All the above is subject that you are willing to take a person inclination to retaining him. But if I were the manager, I'd rather send a formal warning note and talk to this person on a 1-2-1 meeting along with him/her reporting manager.

From United States, San Diego
Hi Shyamli,
Your case is different but same as earlier age. Whats king were doing for a beautiful lady. Even they lost the Empire. Keeping in mind of loss to Empire(Orgainisation) pls be strict and save your organisation.
You may hire another ASSET. Keep in mind. Think about replacement of that asset, if all efforts are fail.

From India, Bangalore

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