Here are some Very funny job rejection letters... ( do read them)
Dear Sir:
Congratulations! You got the job! That is probably what you were hoping this letter would say. But it doesn't, because you didn't.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department laugh
Dear Sir: A few days ago, you phoned us about the job you applied for with our company, and we told you that you did not get the job. However, we are now writing to inform you that you did not get the job. We wanted to make sure you understood that.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
You recently applied for a position with us, but you did not get it, as we have informed you by phone and by mail. However, we have not heard back from you that you completely understand that you failed to get the job. Please call or write and let us know that you realize that you are not employed by us in any way, and never will be.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
Please be advised that the person we hired instead of you has been promoted to department manager, and he has asked us to inform you that, should a position open up, he would not hire you.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
Would you consider taking a job for less pay than we originally discussed, even though we would never offer you such a job?
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
If it is any consolation, we feel that if we had hired you, by now we would have been forced to let you go.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
We are writing to find out what kind of carpeting and curtains you want in your new office. . . . Wait, we made a mistake. You're the wrong person. Oh, well, we're going to go ahead and send this letter to you anyway.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
Could you report for work first thing Monday morning, if you had a job? Just curious.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
From India, Mumbai
12Dear Sir:
Congratulations! You got the job! That is probably what you were hoping this letter would say. But it doesn't, because you didn't.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department laugh
Dear Sir: A few days ago, you phoned us about the job you applied for with our company, and we told you that you did not get the job. However, we are now writing to inform you that you did not get the job. We wanted to make sure you understood that.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
You recently applied for a position with us, but you did not get it, as we have informed you by phone and by mail. However, we have not heard back from you that you completely understand that you failed to get the job. Please call or write and let us know that you realize that you are not employed by us in any way, and never will be.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
Please be advised that the person we hired instead of you has been promoted to department manager, and he has asked us to inform you that, should a position open up, he would not hire you.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
Would you consider taking a job for less pay than we originally discussed, even though we would never offer you such a job?
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
If it is any consolation, we feel that if we had hired you, by now we would have been forced to let you go.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
We are writing to find out what kind of carpeting and curtains you want in your new office. . . . Wait, we made a mistake. You're the wrong person. Oh, well, we're going to go ahead and send this letter to you anyway.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
Dear Sir:
Could you report for work first thing Monday morning, if you had a job? Just curious.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department
From India, Mumbai
hiii, sunayna
yes it was very funny but u know what i dont think ne one would actually want to get employed with a company so careless and MEAN.
HOPE THAT IS A CONSOLATION FOR THOSE WHO WERE GIVEN SUCH LETTERS. :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
From India, Mumbai
yes it was very funny but u know what i dont think ne one would actually want to get employed with a company so careless and MEAN.
HOPE THAT IS A CONSOLATION FOR THOSE WHO WERE GIVEN SUCH LETTERS. :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
From India, Mumbai
hi sweet honey (now heres a sweet name :wink: ) yup.... i sure for 1 wldnt work for such a company :)
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Hey sunayna, One thing iam happy about is it is written by the Personnel dept and not the HR dept. We are a lot more sensible . THREE CHEERS TO US. Regards, Soumya Shankar
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
Job Application Goof Ups !
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at
your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."
That's what we're afraid of ..
=========================================
===============================
Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a
position which
allows me to make use of my commuter skills."
I think we can oblige.
=========================================
===============================
Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing
pleasure."
We can hardly wait.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."
We'll try not to let it go to our heads.
=========================================
===============================
Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.
=========================================
===============================
Experience: "10 years of experience in financail budgiting
and
transactions rigistering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."
If you insist.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my
resume for your
consumption."
Yum.
=========================================
===============================
Skills: "Grate communication skills."
Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?
=========================================
===============================
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting,
screening,
interviewing and executing final candidates."
Seems kind of harsh ..
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."
Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?
=========================================
===============================
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
=========================================
===============================
Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more
appalling to
employers."
We're pretty shocked already ..
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body,
since the
two are usually inseparable."
Glad to hear it.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately
high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is
unspeakable."
At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."
That should help with the flow of information.
From India, Mumbai
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at
your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."
That's what we're afraid of ..
=========================================
===============================
Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a
position which
allows me to make use of my commuter skills."
I think we can oblige.
=========================================
===============================
Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing
pleasure."
We can hardly wait.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."
We'll try not to let it go to our heads.
=========================================
===============================
Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.
=========================================
===============================
Experience: "10 years of experience in financail budgiting
and
transactions rigistering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."
If you insist.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my
resume for your
consumption."
Yum.
=========================================
===============================
Skills: "Grate communication skills."
Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?
=========================================
===============================
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting,
screening,
interviewing and executing final candidates."
Seems kind of harsh ..
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."
Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?
=========================================
===============================
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
=========================================
===============================
Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more
appalling to
employers."
We're pretty shocked already ..
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body,
since the
two are usually inseparable."
Glad to hear it.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately
high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is
unspeakable."
At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.
=========================================
===============================
Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."
That should help with the flow of information.
From India, Mumbai
hey, this is real good! n i have come across a few like these .... so it all sounds possible! cheers, Pallavi
From India, Pune
From India, Pune
hi pallavi
wer on earth or rather in which company did u encounter something like this pal?
this is weeeird
hi shakir
sorry to disappoint u, i dont hav any report writing formats
i dont even know wt tht means
i hope others can help
this is a wonderful policy
Company Policy
Dear Staff,
Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations
implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a
raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need
a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be
and therefore do not need a raise.
Sick Leave
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 54 personal days a year. They are called
Sundays.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the cubicle. At the end of the
three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will
retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
Afteryour second offence, your picture will be posted on the company
bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Subsequent
pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your
salary.
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the
company's mental health policy! You are allowed to use the rest room
only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet
doors also.
SURGERY
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You
should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have
something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more,so
that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for
lunch to get a balanced meal tomaintain their average figure. Fat
people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed o
drink a slim fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations,
irritations, aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations,
contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a Nice Day!
From India, Mumbai
wer on earth or rather in which company did u encounter something like this pal?
this is weeeird
hi shakir
sorry to disappoint u, i dont hav any report writing formats
i dont even know wt tht means
i hope others can help
this is a wonderful policy
Company Policy
Dear Staff,
Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations
implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a
raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need
a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be
and therefore do not need a raise.
Sick Leave
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 54 personal days a year. They are called
Sundays.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the cubicle. At the end of the
three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will
retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
Afteryour second offence, your picture will be posted on the company
bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Subsequent
pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your
salary.
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the
company's mental health policy! You are allowed to use the rest room
only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet
doors also.
SURGERY
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You
should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have
something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more,so
that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for
lunch to get a balanced meal tomaintain their average figure. Fat
people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed o
drink a slim fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations,
irritations, aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations,
contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a Nice Day!
From India, Mumbai
A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day and they issued a Memo
to all department intimating the same.
Week 1
Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as
Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their
choice.
Week 3
Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate
attire for Casual Day.
Week 6
Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.
Week 8
Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at
4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance
is mandatory.
Week 9
Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member
Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for
proper casual-day dress.
Week 14
Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page
manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A
copy has been distributed to every employee.
Week 18
Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for
employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.
Week 20
Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage
Casual Day.
Casual Day is discontinued
:)
From India, Mumbai
to all department intimating the same.
Week 1
Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as
Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their
choice.
Week 3
Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate
attire for Casual Day.
Week 6
Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.
Week 8
Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at
4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance
is mandatory.
Week 9
Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member
Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for
proper casual-day dress.
Week 14
Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page
manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A
copy has been distributed to every employee.
Week 18
Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for
employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.
Week 20
Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage
Casual Day.
Casual Day is discontinued
:)
From India, Mumbai
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