Dear All,
It's been a long time since I last posted anything - neither any query nor any HR material. Actually, I have been in a flux lately. I really need your advice as I am currently dealing with some serious trouble.
I am in HR, but after shifting to a new job, it's more of an admin job rather than HR, which was not communicated to me earlier. I was informed about something else but assigned something different. Despite this, I am continuing with it as I am pursuing my MBR-HR and thought it would be beneficial to stay with this company to gain experience until I finish my education and maintain stability. However, things are not going as planned.
Initially, my boss is very difficult to handle. He only knows how to shout and doesn't seem to have clear concepts. Moreover, if we take initiative and design something, he questions why we did it and states that we have no liberty to change things. On the other hand, if we don't take initiative, he says we need to be more proactive and come up with ideas. Once, we both agreed on our disagreements about the same issue. I even mentioned to him that sometimes I don't understand what he wants. However, since that argument, he has made my work environment a total mess. He constantly tries to find mistakes, pressurizes me even when the workload is not high, and engages in demoralizing politics. It seems like everyone has been victimized, but this time it's affecting me severely. I find it hard to cope. Initially, I considered quitting, but due to my studies and the current market situation, I realize that it may not be a feasible option.
Please guide me on how to handle such a personality. Should I quit? This individual's behavior is really affecting me. I have been putting in my best efforts, but he fails to acknowledge them, which is demoralizing. Please help, seniors!
Thanks,
Shweta
From India, Coimbatore
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15It's been a long time since I last posted anything - neither any query nor any HR material. Actually, I have been in a flux lately. I really need your advice as I am currently dealing with some serious trouble.
I am in HR, but after shifting to a new job, it's more of an admin job rather than HR, which was not communicated to me earlier. I was informed about something else but assigned something different. Despite this, I am continuing with it as I am pursuing my MBR-HR and thought it would be beneficial to stay with this company to gain experience until I finish my education and maintain stability. However, things are not going as planned.
Initially, my boss is very difficult to handle. He only knows how to shout and doesn't seem to have clear concepts. Moreover, if we take initiative and design something, he questions why we did it and states that we have no liberty to change things. On the other hand, if we don't take initiative, he says we need to be more proactive and come up with ideas. Once, we both agreed on our disagreements about the same issue. I even mentioned to him that sometimes I don't understand what he wants. However, since that argument, he has made my work environment a total mess. He constantly tries to find mistakes, pressurizes me even when the workload is not high, and engages in demoralizing politics. It seems like everyone has been victimized, but this time it's affecting me severely. I find it hard to cope. Initially, I considered quitting, but due to my studies and the current market situation, I realize that it may not be a feasible option.
Please guide me on how to handle such a personality. Should I quit? This individual's behavior is really affecting me. I have been putting in my best efforts, but he fails to acknowledge them, which is demoralizing. Please help, seniors!
Thanks,
Shweta
From India, Coimbatore
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Hi SWEETA,
I'm not sure how many SWEETA appear on this forum... :icon10:
Anyway, dealing with the boss is one critical issue, especially when your experience falls short in handling him as well as his authority. You must understand that conflict is not a good thing, especially with an egoistic person. When you are vying with your boss to prove your worth, and he is not ready to accept your presence as important to him... :icon6:
It's better to handle the situation tactfully and just listen to him because if there is no substance in what he is saying, chasing him is a waste of time. Let him feel satisfied, and you can take your salary for tolerating his nuisance. :-D
From Saudi Arabia
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I'm not sure how many SWEETA appear on this forum... :icon10:
Anyway, dealing with the boss is one critical issue, especially when your experience falls short in handling him as well as his authority. You must understand that conflict is not a good thing, especially with an egoistic person. When you are vying with your boss to prove your worth, and he is not ready to accept your presence as important to him... :icon6:
It's better to handle the situation tactfully and just listen to him because if there is no substance in what he is saying, chasing him is a waste of time. Let him feel satisfied, and you can take your salary for tolerating his nuisance. :-D
From Saudi Arabia
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Hi Shweta,
What I would suggest to you is to start looking for a job. How long are you going to tolerate his nuisance? Even if you decide to tolerate it, how long are you really going to do it for - 3 months, 6 months, or the next 1 year... how long? Someday is going to come when you are going to quit, so why not now? I acknowledge that there is a recession going on in the market, but keep searching. You never know, you might just get a job that you have always wanted to have.
So, don't lose heart, don't let the grass grow under your feet. Come on, gear up!
Vrockx :-P
From India, Pune
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What I would suggest to you is to start looking for a job. How long are you going to tolerate his nuisance? Even if you decide to tolerate it, how long are you really going to do it for - 3 months, 6 months, or the next 1 year... how long? Someday is going to come when you are going to quit, so why not now? I acknowledge that there is a recession going on in the market, but keep searching. You never know, you might just get a job that you have always wanted to have.
So, don't lose heart, don't let the grass grow under your feet. Come on, gear up!
Vrockx :-P
From India, Pune
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Hi,
Try to stay calm. By the way, it helps increase your patience, which will be very useful for your life. Focus on your studies, just study, and keep this as your backup plan until your education is completed. Once done, then look for a better and more standard company. Patience solves everything in life to some extent. Try this.
Regards, Nirmal
From India, Madras
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Try to stay calm. By the way, it helps increase your patience, which will be very useful for your life. Focus on your studies, just study, and keep this as your backup plan until your education is completed. Once done, then look for a better and more standard company. Patience solves everything in life to some extent. Try this.
Regards, Nirmal
From India, Madras
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Dear Shwetha,
I would suggest you to list down the activities you do and understand the areas in HR. Be patient for a month or so and then look for a change. You would have these apprehensions but you need to learn and try to manage them. In case you are looking for a change, message me so that I can help you get some opportunities.
Regards,
Vinoo
+91 98842 32700
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I would suggest you to list down the activities you do and understand the areas in HR. Be patient for a month or so and then look for a change. You would have these apprehensions but you need to learn and try to manage them. In case you are looking for a change, message me so that I can help you get some opportunities.
Regards,
Vinoo
+91 98842 32700
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Hello Shweta,
I think Vrocks is right. Start looking out for a job because staying in this organization would mean no growth, and your work will never be appreciated. Staying too calm and being too good is not going to work out... play smart.
If possible, escalate the matter to the higher authorities if you can't handle it. Finally, think of reasons why you don't need to stick around at the job, excluding the current market situation. The job given to you is not what you wanted, your immediate boss is making life difficult for you, which leads to a lot of stress and unhappiness as apparent from your blog above.
Nothing matters in life; at the end of it all, it's your well-being and happiness. Trust me, I have been in your place, and I quit in two months' time. Today, I am happy I took that decision. So relax and do not stand for any nonsense from your boss.
Take care.
Regards,
Preethi
From Singapore, Singapore
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I think Vrocks is right. Start looking out for a job because staying in this organization would mean no growth, and your work will never be appreciated. Staying too calm and being too good is not going to work out... play smart.
If possible, escalate the matter to the higher authorities if you can't handle it. Finally, think of reasons why you don't need to stick around at the job, excluding the current market situation. The job given to you is not what you wanted, your immediate boss is making life difficult for you, which leads to a lot of stress and unhappiness as apparent from your blog above.
Nothing matters in life; at the end of it all, it's your well-being and happiness. Trust me, I have been in your place, and I quit in two months' time. Today, I am happy I took that decision. So relax and do not stand for any nonsense from your boss.
Take care.
Regards,
Preethi
From Singapore, Singapore
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Dear Shweta,
Chill out. I know it's easier said than done. But, all the problems arise if you don't accept things. My suggestion: play it safe, go as per your boss wants, this will save you some time for looking out for new opportunities. Also, I think your approach of placing things in front of the boss is wrong. You should make him feel that it's his ideas and let him take credit for the new initiative if it is successful at all. Later on, slowly you can start claiming credit, and also as your experience increases, you don't look out for credit but results. Best of luck.
Regards,
Anand.
From India, Pune
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Chill out. I know it's easier said than done. But, all the problems arise if you don't accept things. My suggestion: play it safe, go as per your boss wants, this will save you some time for looking out for new opportunities. Also, I think your approach of placing things in front of the boss is wrong. You should make him feel that it's his ideas and let him take credit for the new initiative if it is successful at all. Later on, slowly you can start claiming credit, and also as your experience increases, you don't look out for credit but results. Best of luck.
Regards,
Anand.
From India, Pune
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Take this matter to the management.Changing jobs will not help.You never know how will the next boss be.So how many jobs will you change?
From India, Chandigarh
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From India, Chandigarh
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Dear Shweta,
My answer may look strange to you, but I can't stop myself from sharing my experience. I myself work in HR, and a similar situation was faced by me at the beginning of my career. On one occasion, it was even worse; it was kind of a humiliation.
But I fought it and eventually got promoted the following year. After that, I quit that company, and now I have a very good reputation with that boss.
In such situations, it may seem like we are right and our boss is scolding us without any fault of our own. However, if anybody tries to put themselves in the shoes of the boss and understand why they are behaving like that, it might be difficult to think in this way. But just give yourself a chance to think in that direction. You can even take note of why he is shouting and scolding. It may be a learning stage, and you can learn a lot from it. Always maintain a positive mindset and be ready to grasp the positive aspects from his scolding.
Regarding changing jobs, I believe you are the best judge to make that decision in this situation. As we won't be able to judge both sides of the coin just by listening to the situation from your side, one has to step into your shoes to understand your situation. What you are sharing is only one side of the coin.
Thank you.
From India, Delhi
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My answer may look strange to you, but I can't stop myself from sharing my experience. I myself work in HR, and a similar situation was faced by me at the beginning of my career. On one occasion, it was even worse; it was kind of a humiliation.
But I fought it and eventually got promoted the following year. After that, I quit that company, and now I have a very good reputation with that boss.
In such situations, it may seem like we are right and our boss is scolding us without any fault of our own. However, if anybody tries to put themselves in the shoes of the boss and understand why they are behaving like that, it might be difficult to think in this way. But just give yourself a chance to think in that direction. You can even take note of why he is shouting and scolding. It may be a learning stage, and you can learn a lot from it. Always maintain a positive mindset and be ready to grasp the positive aspects from his scolding.
Regarding changing jobs, I believe you are the best judge to make that decision in this situation. As we won't be able to judge both sides of the coin just by listening to the situation from your side, one has to step into your shoes to understand your situation. What you are sharing is only one side of the coin.
Thank you.
From India, Delhi
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Hi Swetha,
As Badlooser said, the boss is always the boss. Right now, you are the person getting trained in psychology. A major aspect of HR is to study psychology. HR is not only Human Resources; we say it as High Risk. If you want to be in HR, then take on the assignment to tackle him; don't argue with the boss. Even if he is playing politics, you have to play along. All HR professionals should be diplomatic.
You have the talent to recognize when he is playing politics, and that's when you know how to solve that. If you are on a certain path, it will lead to a specific destination. When the path is chosen, the destination is also chosen.
Try to play politics tactfully, make him satisfied with your intelligence. If you have the capacity to identify the problem, then you can solve it. Many people don't know how to identify the problem, yet they still succeed. So why can't you?
Please let me know if you have any questions or need further assistance.
From India, Bangalore
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As Badlooser said, the boss is always the boss. Right now, you are the person getting trained in psychology. A major aspect of HR is to study psychology. HR is not only Human Resources; we say it as High Risk. If you want to be in HR, then take on the assignment to tackle him; don't argue with the boss. Even if he is playing politics, you have to play along. All HR professionals should be diplomatic.
You have the talent to recognize when he is playing politics, and that's when you know how to solve that. If you are on a certain path, it will lead to a specific destination. When the path is chosen, the destination is also chosen.
Try to play politics tactfully, make him satisfied with your intelligence. If you have the capacity to identify the problem, then you can solve it. Many people don't know how to identify the problem, yet they still succeed. So why can't you?
Please let me know if you have any questions or need further assistance.
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Shwetha,
Make a checklist of activities you are doing on a regular basis for a month. Financial stability is one thing to be concerned about before quitting a job. Quitting is the easy way out, but finding a new job can be a tough scenario. So, please have patience for a month.
There comes a point in life referred to as "Now or Never." Analyze the situation yourself regarding the current state. If it falls under high priority, make a bold decision about it.
Thanks and regards,
Nandha
Email: nandha2k@yahoo.co.in
From India, Madras
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Make a checklist of activities you are doing on a regular basis for a month. Financial stability is one thing to be concerned about before quitting a job. Quitting is the easy way out, but finding a new job can be a tough scenario. So, please have patience for a month.
There comes a point in life referred to as "Now or Never." Analyze the situation yourself regarding the current state. If it falls under high priority, make a bold decision about it.
Thanks and regards,
Nandha
Email: nandha2k@yahoo.co.in
From India, Madras
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Hey Shwetha,
I think you should stick to this job. Try to listen and do things the way he wants you to do them. There is no use shouting at him; it will only worsen your situation. Moreover, this will be a learning experience for you and might help you in your next job as well. Problems exist in every company. Issues with managers are a never-ending problem.
My personal opinion - Barking dogs seldom bite. Let this dog keep on barking. You just do your work. Focus on your studies, finish them, and then if required, search for another job.
Regards,
Suma
From India, Bangalore
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I think you should stick to this job. Try to listen and do things the way he wants you to do them. There is no use shouting at him; it will only worsen your situation. Moreover, this will be a learning experience for you and might help you in your next job as well. Problems exist in every company. Issues with managers are a never-ending problem.
My personal opinion - Barking dogs seldom bite. Let this dog keep on barking. You just do your work. Focus on your studies, finish them, and then if required, search for another job.
Regards,
Suma
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Shweta,
Every HR professional might have come across the bitter experience that you are facing now in their respective service, either at the entry level or middle/senior level. When compared with other professions, the HR profession requires more patience. As HR personnel, we have to deal with humans whose concepts, thoughts, likes, dislikes, and mentality may tend to change from person to person and from time to time.
Like your bosses, there are many others in this big world. Generally, these types of people may not have mental peace at their residence due to the difficulties of their personal lives. To counter their anger at home, these bosses may satisfy their ego by shouting at the employees in the office, portraying themselves as more powerful. To handle such individuals, we must have patience. When they are shouting at you, try to think positively and do not provoke them with counters. Instead, help them realize their mistakes by remaining calm and professional.
Furthermore, if a boss feels that an employee is more competent and dynamic than them, it can lead to feelings of insecurity. In such cases, the boss may try to discourage colleagues or subordinates from contributing valuable ideas for the organization's benefit, fearing a threat to their position.
Regardless, we are not here to quarrel with others. While you have obligations to fulfill, consider seeking a better job elsewhere that aligns with your qualifications and experience. It is advisable not to resign from your current job until you secure a new position.
Wishing you the best of luck.
NVRao
Hyderabad
From India, Hyderabad
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Every HR professional might have come across the bitter experience that you are facing now in their respective service, either at the entry level or middle/senior level. When compared with other professions, the HR profession requires more patience. As HR personnel, we have to deal with humans whose concepts, thoughts, likes, dislikes, and mentality may tend to change from person to person and from time to time.
Like your bosses, there are many others in this big world. Generally, these types of people may not have mental peace at their residence due to the difficulties of their personal lives. To counter their anger at home, these bosses may satisfy their ego by shouting at the employees in the office, portraying themselves as more powerful. To handle such individuals, we must have patience. When they are shouting at you, try to think positively and do not provoke them with counters. Instead, help them realize their mistakes by remaining calm and professional.
Furthermore, if a boss feels that an employee is more competent and dynamic than them, it can lead to feelings of insecurity. In such cases, the boss may try to discourage colleagues or subordinates from contributing valuable ideas for the organization's benefit, fearing a threat to their position.
Regardless, we are not here to quarrel with others. While you have obligations to fulfill, consider seeking a better job elsewhere that aligns with your qualifications and experience. It is advisable not to resign from your current job until you secure a new position.
Wishing you the best of luck.
NVRao
Hyderabad
From India, Hyderabad
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Hi Shweta,
I think you should treat him very tactfully with peace and a smile and try to make him satisfied.
Whatever he says, you just avoid and try to learn these things.
I had also faced this condition and learned that the BOSS is always right. Take all his activities positively.
Believe me, when you learn these things, you will be a winner.
And I think there is no need to change a job until you have a good job in your hand. You know the market conditions very well.
There is no certainty that you will get a good boss if you change jobs. He may be even more rude than him.
So always listen to him, try to understand what he expects from you, why he is not satisfied with you. Improve yourself. Always smile and try to understand things. Be positive, make him happy, never be upset. One important thing: always keep in mind that bosses are always right.
And do not worry about your job profile like admin work; it's also part of HR. Nowadays, the HR field is very vast. If you want to make a career in HR, you need knowledge of your company, vision, mission, and you have to coordinate with the Finance Dept, Purchase Dept, Admin Dept. So, do not worry, my dear. Always smile and be happy. I hope you will accept my views. No need to fight with your boss.
If the problem still persists, let me know.
Take care.
From India, Pune
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I think you should treat him very tactfully with peace and a smile and try to make him satisfied.
Whatever he says, you just avoid and try to learn these things.
I had also faced this condition and learned that the BOSS is always right. Take all his activities positively.
Believe me, when you learn these things, you will be a winner.
And I think there is no need to change a job until you have a good job in your hand. You know the market conditions very well.
There is no certainty that you will get a good boss if you change jobs. He may be even more rude than him.
So always listen to him, try to understand what he expects from you, why he is not satisfied with you. Improve yourself. Always smile and try to understand things. Be positive, make him happy, never be upset. One important thing: always keep in mind that bosses are always right.
And do not worry about your job profile like admin work; it's also part of HR. Nowadays, the HR field is very vast. If you want to make a career in HR, you need knowledge of your company, vision, mission, and you have to coordinate with the Finance Dept, Purchase Dept, Admin Dept. So, do not worry, my dear. Always smile and be happy. I hope you will accept my views. No need to fight with your boss.
If the problem still persists, let me know.
Take care.
From India, Pune
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Hey,
Neither a job change would help nor taking the matter to top management. You will get the same type of boss everywhere; this is my experience. As an HR professional, our job is to manage people on a large scale with different personalities and expectations.
Try to understand him as a subject with a weird persona. Try to guess what his next action will be and press on whenever you see an opportunity. It will be a good experience once you know how to take advantage of it.
From India, Mandi
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Neither a job change would help nor taking the matter to top management. You will get the same type of boss everywhere; this is my experience. As an HR professional, our job is to manage people on a large scale with different personalities and expectations.
Try to understand him as a subject with a weird persona. Try to guess what his next action will be and press on whenever you see an opportunity. It will be a good experience once you know how to take advantage of it.
From India, Mandi
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Hi Shweta!
I understand it must be very frustrating for you. In my opinion, quitting is not the right thing. I mean, if you are doing an MBA and wanting to go into HR, this will help you in one thing for sure, and that is patience.
Also, I suggest that you understand his behavior and act accordingly. Such people act in erratic ways because maybe at times he may have developed an inferiority complex due to your behavior, skills. Try to boost up his ego by asking for his permission for petty things (when he asks you to take initiative); the rest of the time, just stick to your work.
But if this gets too personal, I would advise you to take this matter to higher authorities.
All the best for the future!
From India, Nagpur
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I understand it must be very frustrating for you. In my opinion, quitting is not the right thing. I mean, if you are doing an MBA and wanting to go into HR, this will help you in one thing for sure, and that is patience.
Also, I suggest that you understand his behavior and act accordingly. Such people act in erratic ways because maybe at times he may have developed an inferiority complex due to your behavior, skills. Try to boost up his ego by asking for his permission for petty things (when he asks you to take initiative); the rest of the time, just stick to your work.
But if this gets too personal, I would advise you to take this matter to higher authorities.
All the best for the future!
From India, Nagpur
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Dear Shweta,
I too had a boss like yours and continued with him for 7 years; it was not easy. It's nice to know that you are pursuing your higher studies; keep going. I suggest that you spend more valuable time on your studies and aim to complete them within the stipulated time.
Try to handle him with a high level of patience because that's one thing that can really help you through all your hard times with him. Please do not argue with your boss; this will harm you and make you feel even worse.
In the meantime, if something good comes up, then you can consider changing your job, but do not quit just because of your boss; he certainly is not the person who can decide your fate. So have patience, have faith, things will turn around.
Good Luck.
Pramod Sulakhe
Goa.
From India, Pune
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I too had a boss like yours and continued with him for 7 years; it was not easy. It's nice to know that you are pursuing your higher studies; keep going. I suggest that you spend more valuable time on your studies and aim to complete them within the stipulated time.
Try to handle him with a high level of patience because that's one thing that can really help you through all your hard times with him. Please do not argue with your boss; this will harm you and make you feel even worse.
In the meantime, if something good comes up, then you can consider changing your job, but do not quit just because of your boss; he certainly is not the person who can decide your fate. So have patience, have faith, things will turn around.
Good Luck.
Pramod Sulakhe
Goa.
From India, Pune
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Hi, Do not make decision in hurry.Keep looking for opportunities and more important is get relieved in a cordial manner with the present org. Regards Anitha
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Hi Shweta, Pl go through the e books attached. I hope it may be of some use and help you to deal your boss who seems to start his day with a break fast of a dead crow. All the best Dr. V.K.Pandey
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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I have faced this situation in my life; my boss was not only an irritating and shouting fellow but also sexually harassing me. When I refused to bear it from him, he secretly started looking for my replacement. I got to know, and I left the company. No doubt, your boss might also do that, so just keep looking for opportunities and change the job. Try to change your strategy to cope with your boss, and if you still are not able to manage him, then change the job.
Best of luck :)
From India, Delhi
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Best of luck :)
From India, Delhi
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Hi Shweta,
We can tell you many things about staying calm, but I acknowledge that every day and hour you spend in your office, you might be feeling like standing on a hot pan, and that too barefooted. So, I feel that first, look for a job and then only leave your current one... until then keep searching, but don't lose hope.
Vrockx... :-P
From India, Pune
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We can tell you many things about staying calm, but I acknowledge that every day and hour you spend in your office, you might be feeling like standing on a hot pan, and that too barefooted. So, I feel that first, look for a job and then only leave your current one... until then keep searching, but don't lose hope.
Vrockx... :-P
From India, Pune
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